Michaels, Tanya - [4 Seasons in Mistletoe 04] - Mistletoe Mommy p.03

“Daddy?” Morgan ventured. “It’s okay with me if we leave now. I wanna see Ellie, anyway.”
Accepting defeat, he carried Morgan’s plastic bucket of blueberries so that she could have both hands for her drink while they walked toward the exit.
“We should give some of these berries to Brenna,” Geoff said. When Adam had noted earlier that Geoff had stopped calling her Ms. Pierce, his son had joked that it was because they were “practically co-workers” now: “I helped her prepare for taxes next quarter. Check me, I’m like an accountant.”
“That’s a nice idea,” Adam said. “And don’t forget, Lydia at the lodge said that if you bring her enough berries, she’ll make sure you guys get blueberry pancakes for breakfast tomorrow.”
Halfway to Brenna’s house, Adam realized Eliza hadn’t said a word the entire time. His first assumption was that she was giving him the silent treatment, but when he noticed the way she’d cradled her arms against her abdomen, his conscience plagued him. She had complained she wasn’t feeling well, but it had been a nonspecific gripe on the heels of him asking about her ornery mood, so he hadn’t lent it much credence.
As they drove down Brenna’s street, Morgan remarked, “No car in the driveway.”
Adam had already noticed this and was doing his level best not to broadcast his disappointment. You’ll see her Tuesday. That was only two nights from now.
He parked in the driveway and everyone hopped out. Zoe met them at the fence, wagging her tail so hard her body shook. They went inside, and Adam tried not to notice the sheer Brenna-ness of the place. The faint, lingering scent of her body lotion, a book she’d been reading left facedown on an end table. He stole a peek at the title and smiled—he enjoyed that particular series, too. Considering the slightly dusty book jacket, she’d probably started this one before her summer schedule ramped up into high gear.
Morgan ran down the hall, already talking to Ellie in that slightly higher-than-normal voice she used with animals. He resolved that he was giving the kids ten minutes, fifteen tops, before they left for Chattavista. There would be no dawdling in the hopes of catching Brenna as she came through the door.
Geoff disappeared into Brenna’s office; he hadn’t quite finished the odd jobs she’d given him the other day, and she’d told him that she’d pay him for any time he put in, whether she was here or not. Whenever he talked about doing one of the errands she’d assigned, he swelled with pride. Adam made a mental note to revisit the employment issue with Sara. He understood why she’d initially told Geoff that he couldn’t have a job on top of school, but if Geoff could keep his grades up, maybe it was time to change that.
It dawned on Adam that, in the past couple of years, he’d been far too passive. He’d felt guilty over not being there, so he defaulted to Sara’s opinion on everything as if he didn’t have a right to disagree with her. Though he wouldn’t undermine her by arguing a point in front of the kids, it was time he gave more thought to their lives and offered real input, not just financial support.
Since the television remote was on the coffee table, he flipped on the TV and went to one of those all-news channels. He wasn’t sure when exactly Eliza ducked out of the kitty den, but a bit later, Geoff and Morgan both appeared in front of him.
“I finished everything Brenna laid out for me,” Geoff said with satisfaction.
“I’m still playing with Ellie, but you said fifteen minutes,” Morgan reminded him. “It’s been fifteen.”
Already? In spite of himself, Adam’s gaze went to the window and the driveway beyond. “Where’s your sister?”
Geoff gave an exaggerated shrug, accompanied by a “women” eye roll. “Bathroom. Again.”
“Something’s wrong with her,” Morgan declared, her gamine face puckered with worry.
Adam was starting to agree. “Why don’t you guys go out in the yard and play with Zoe? I’ll take care of Eliza.”
After they’d done as suggested, he knocked lightly on the bathroom door. Unless he was mistaken, there was sniffling coming inside. “Eliza, honey? Are you okay?”
“No!” More pronounced sniffling. Then she muttered something too low to hear followed by an emphatic, “I want Mom!”
“I know you and your mother are a lot closer than you and I have been lately, but I want to change that.” He sat on the floor, feeling a bit stupid for baring his soul to a doorknob. “You can talk to me about anything, I promise.”
“Not about this!” She sounded horrified, and her voice cracked. He felt powerless with his little girl crying on the other side of a locked door. “Could you please just get Mom on the phone?”
Then it clicked. The likely reason she’d been so cranky and on the verge of tears, the way she’d been holding her stomach as if in pain. “Oh, honey. Are you—?”
“I don’t want to talk to you about it! I’d die of humiliation.”
Forget that he was specially trained in the workings of the human body; for this, a girl needed her mother. “Be right back!”
He returned to the living room and dialed Sara’s cell number, although it took him several tries to get it right. Why were his hands shaking? This was a natural biological process that all females went through. Yes, but she’s only…twelve.
How had twelve years passed already? He vividly remembered the day she was born, so much tinier than Geoff had been, how she’d seemed so fragile in Adam’s hands that he’d been scared he might hurt her. Then she’d screwed up her reddened face, opened her mouth and let loose with a yowl that had made the nurse and an exhausted Sara cringe but Adam laugh. He’d known then that something that could make such a ferocious noise wasn’t as frail as she looked.
Over the phone, his ex-wife’s recorded voice instructed him to leave a message.
“Sara? Oh, Sara, I wish you’d picked up! Look, it’s not an emergency per se—kids are fine—but call as soon as you get this, okay? Anytime day or night! Anytime.”
It wasn’t until he disconnected that he realized he was panicking. He could have just told Sara what the issue was, but he was having trouble wrapping his mind around it. Preoccupied with the situation and what he should say to Eliza, he missed both the car outside and the steps on the porch. He jumped in surprise when the front door swung open and Brenna entered the living room.
“Oh, thank God, a woman!” He darted forward and took hold of her hand.
Her eyebrows shot up. “Well, you get points for enthusiasm. Although you might want to practice being more discerning than that.”
“We’re having a crisis.” He dropped her hand, abashed. What had he been planning to do, drag her bodily down the hall and dump everything in her lap? “A, erm, female crisis.” He sounded more like a socially awkward seventh grader than a medical professional.
He tried again. “Apparently Eliza is…she’s started—”
“Oh!” Brenna clucked her tongue. “Poor baby. You want me to go talk to her?”
“Please.” He felt almost light-headed with relief.
Sitting on the couch, he listened as Brenna approached the closed door. Please don’t push her away, he silently advised Eliza. He knew she’d rather have Sara right now, understandably so, but he hoped that his daughter wouldn’t distance herself from others at her own expense.
After a moment, the door opened, and he heard the soft background murmur of female voices. And a few seconds later, Brenna returned, palming her keys.
“Eliza and I are going for a little shopping excursion. I can take her back to the lodge when we’re finished. Why don’t we just meet you there?”
“I can’t thank you enough.”
She flashed him a cheeky smile. “You can try. Tuesday night.”
Chapter Twelve
“Thank you,” Eliza mumbled as they left the drugstore. “That was embarrassing, but it would have been worse with my dad.”
“You’re welcome. I realize that kids—young women,” she amended, unlocking the car doors, “probably hate it when adults say this, but I know how you feel. My mom wasn’t around for my first period, either.”
It had been mortifying. Even though Brenna had taken the same health classes as her peers and had, in theory, known what to expect, her first thought had been I’m bleeding to death! It had hurt.
“Where was your mom?”
“Don’t know,” Brenna confided. “Still don’t. She brought me to Mistletoe and married Fred just a few months later—Fred is Josh’s dad. Then she took off for the store and none of us ever saw her again, although Fred did find a note afterward.”
Eliza’s jaw dropped, her own misery temporarily forgotten. “She just left? And she didn’t even tell you goodbye? That’s way worse than being twenty minutes late for the sixth-grade graduation ceremony or being a no-show at the father-daughter volleyball picnic.”
Brenna knew that if Adam had missed an event for one of his kids, it had to have been something critical that kept him. He’d probably been off nobly saving a life, people around him yelling Clear! or Clamp! or Stat! the way they always did in medical dramas. But still, she empathized with the sense of loss the girl must have felt.
“Now that I’m older, I realize that even though her leaving hurt badly for a long time, it might have been for the best.” By the time they’d reached Mistletoe, Brenna had already become tense and brittle, afraid to form attachments. Who knew when they’d pick up and go again? How long a current boyfriend would last? When her mercurial mother might turn on her? “In fact, her disappearing like that might even have been her way of protecting me. Maybe she did it because she loved me.”
“Pfftt.” Eliza snorted. “Whatever. It still sucks.”
Brenna laughed. “Yeah. It still sucks.” She turned her key in the ignition, relieved when the car started. For what she’d paid to mortgage it out of the garage, the vehicle should be so finely tuned it could qualify for the Indy 500.
“You hungry?” Brenna asked. “We can swing by a drive-through somewhere.”
“Nah.”
“Forget dinner, then. What about just a chocolate milk shake? Great cure for cramps,” Brenna added. A decent milk shake helped keep her from killing anyone at the wrong time of the month.
Eliza perked up a bit. “Yeah, okay. Sounds good.”
They were nearly to the lodge and happily slurping down shakes when Eliza resurrected the topic of Brenna’s mom. “You’re really not mad at her?”
“Why should I be? Letting anger fester hurts me more than it hurts her, wherever she is.”
“I guess. Did you know she was going to leave? Was it out of the blue, or did she sort of slowly slip out of your life before going for good?”
Brenna’s gaze flitted to her young passenger. “How do you mean?”
“Like ignoring you. Not calling when she was supposed to. Guess that didn’t matter, since you lived with her.” Eliza’s gaze slid to the hands clasped tightly in her lap. “My mom got a divorce because Dad wasn’t really paying attention to anything but work. You’d think he would have apologized, sent flowers.”
Maybe, but relationships were complicated and there had probably been other factors at play. Brenna kept the thought to herself, not wanting to discourage Eliza from safely venting.
“But it didn’t help much. Even if he showed up, half the time he’d get an emergency page.” Her eyes glistened with tears. “Does it make me selfish that sometimes I didn’t care who he was off saving, that I just wanted him to be with me?”
“I don’t think so. You’re completely entitled to want your dad’s love, and his time. But, honey, your father is nothing like my mom. She was…unwell. He isn’t going anywhere. He’s crazy about you three. Don’t you think this trip is proof of that?”
Eliza eyed her skeptically, then shrugged. “He’s been my dad for nearly thirteen years. This trip is twenty days.”
BY THE TIME they reached the lodge, Eliza was barely smothering her yawns. She shuffled toward the Varners’ suite with the appearance of someone who was sleepwalking. Adam must have been listening for them, because he opened the door just as Brenna started to knock.
Brenna handed the girl the bag of feminine supplies they’d purchased, including some neon-bright fingernail polish and a fashion magazine for young women.
“Thank you,” Eliza said. “And, Dad? Sorry I was a pita today.”
His eyebrows drew together. “Pita?”
“You know, PITA? Pain in the…Anyway, I’ll try to do better.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “Go rest up for our white-water rafting adventure tomorrow afternoon. That is, if you think you’re up to it?”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” Despite her fatigue, the genuine anticipation in her voice was unmistakable.
“Well, just let me know if you change your mind. I’m flexible.”
With Eliza preparing for bed and Morgan and Geoff engrossed in a rented movie, Adam was free to walk Brenna back downstairs. He seemed in no hurry to get rid of her, though.
Nodding toward the two-person swing on the veranda, he said, “Sit with me for a few minutes? Or do you need to rush back out and do more pet visits?”
“I have four more tonight, but they can wait another twenty minutes.” She’d gotten up so early that morning, before the sun, that when she’d returned home this afternoon, it had been with optimistic plans of catching a catnap. Now she didn’t have time for that.
Besides, being alone with Adam rejuvenated her. She experienced something like adrenaline, but warmer and less jittery. She was alert, her senses heightened by his nearness.
The swing jostled under their combined weight, and Brenna let herself sway toward him. Until meeting Adam, she hadn’t realized how deficient of touch her life had become. Her animals considered a pat on the head or a belly rub a crucial part of the day, but except for occasionally shaking hands with a new client or maybe hugging someone at Sunday family dinners, it had been too long since Brenna had been this close to another human.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “I don’t know what we would have done today if you hadn’t come along.”
“Oh, you would have muddled through. It would have been awkward, possibly hostile on her part, and you would have made a silent pact never to speak of it again…but you would have handled it.”
“Is she okay?” he asked.
Brenna nodded. “I helped her select some over-the-counter pain medicine. She said she didn’t have any weird allergies that she knew of and wasn’t currently taking anything. I gave her a crash course on her best options if she wants to go rafting tomorrow. I also…talked to her some in the car. Not just about this.”
He straightened, looking not only curious but nearly reverent, as if Brenna were about to hand him the Holy Grail of Understanding Your Adolescent Daughter. “Yeah?”
“She’s ticked off at you,” Brenna said bluntly. “But more than that, she’s scared you won’t be around for her.”
He clenched a fist against his thigh. “I suppose I deserve that. Sara and I were practically kids ourselves, newly married when we got pregnant with Geoff. She did such a beautiful job handling motherhood while I finished up med school. I don’t mean to make excuses, but the hours for an intern are hellish. Once you make resident, they upgrade you to merely purgatorial.”
“Adam. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“I know. I just…Do you mind my telling you about this?”
“No, I like hearing about you. Even the imperfect parts,” she assured him.
“I specialize in those,” he drawled, looking angry with himself. “I didn’t mean to take Sara for granted or dump everything on her. I think it truly didn’t dawn on me that she needed help. She had the kids organized and scheduled, knew just where she wanted everything and who liked what favorite bear or blanket. When things got bad enough that she complained, I really did try to pitch in. And I ended up feeling as if I were just in the way, like an intruder in my own family.”
Brenna had some experience with feeling like the outsider, a jarring angle in the family circle.
“I know I’ve screwed up,” he said. “But I didn’t realize I’d screwed up so badly that my own daughter is afraid I won’t be there.”
“Well—” she caught her bottom lip between her teeth “—I may not have helped. I was trying to relate, told her a bit about my own childhood.”
Adam tilted back to better see her expression. “Problems with your dad?”
“My mom.” Her voice was barely audible. I never talk about this. For good reason. People threw around words like healing and closure. Closure? That was a laugh—the woman was God knows where on the globe. Assuming she was even still alive and well.
Brenna swallowed hard. “My mom brought me to Mistletoe when I was around Eliza’s age. She met Fred Pierce, Josh’s father. His own divorce hadn’t been final all that long, and I think they rebounded into each other.”
“Had your parents been divorced long?” Adam asked quietly.
“I never knew my dad. She left him when she was pregnant with me.” Leaving people, her great legacy. “I think…I don’t know, but I think she was sick. For months she’d seem okay. There would even be days where she was better than okay. Waking me up in the middle of the night and asking me if I wanted to go on an ‘adventure’ with her. One time when we lived in Kentucky, it was to go out in the first snowfall of the season. We found a twenty-four-hour store and bought chocolate bars. It was midnight, and I was gorging on chocolate and having a snowball fight with my mom.”
Brenna stopped, her throat tight. For some reason, it hurt more to remember candy bars in the snow—had she ever told anyone about that?—than it did to recall being abandoned.
“At times like that, I thought she was the best mother in the world. I was awed by her. But then there were her short-tempered moments. A lot less fun,” she said sardonically. “And long periods of time where she was quiet. I don’t remember seeing her cry, but she was just so damn palpably unhappy. I used to wonder if it was somehow my fault. Then she’d announce she was getting a new job or that we were going to move to a new apartment, instead of renewing our lease. The change of scenery usually helped. When Fred met her, she was having one of her better times. She seemed stable for a while.” Brenna had dared to hope that Mistletoe was some kind of magic place. It had certainly seemed that way through a child’s eyes.
“I’m guessing that stability didn’t last?” Adam’s voice was comforting. Deep, compassionate, but not thick with the oppressive pity she’d feared.
She shook her head. “I could tell it was going to fall apart. She started getting restless, irritable. I was trying to get her attention one day to find out if I could go to a slumber party, and it was like I couldn’t get through to her. So I just kept saying ‘Mom,’ repeatedly, louder and louder. She slapped me. I don’t think she meant to.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Brenna.”
“Neither of us told Fred about that. She was gone a week later, and I…I really liked Mistletoe. I loved having a little brother and not being an only child. And maybe because he was already a father, I bonded with Fred a lot faster than I did with the other men who’d been in her life. When I thought the cycle was starting all over again, I was terrified I’d have to give them up. But I didn’t. She just took off for parts unknown. Without me.”
The memories with her mother in them were crystal clear to this day, but the memory of Fred handing her the note, so Brenna could see for herself that her mom had no intention of coming back—that she didn’t want me—was hazy. Like something warped and half-remembered from a bad dream.
“By the time Fred could legally divorce her, his first wife was sick and they were already headed down the path to reconciliation. I had something new to be terrified about. At least my mother’s ‘Dr. Jekyll, Mrs. Hyde’ cycle was a known quantity. But Maggie? I guess I’d read too many fairy tales with evil stepmothers, because the entire time she and Fred were dating, I expected her to insist it was either her or me. But Maggie’s wonderful.”
“I should expect so. For you to turn out the way you did in spite of everything speaks to their being loving parents—and your being an extraordinarily strong woman.” Adam gave her an assessing look as if seeing her for the first time. Or as if he was glimpsing something he’d overlooked before.
Brenna squirmed under the penetrating scrutiny. But she relaxed slightly as he began trailing his hand up and down her back. Lord, his touch felt good.
“Most people,” he concluded, “having gone through that kind of emotional turmoil, wouldn’t become as bighearted as you are, so generous and giving.”
Brenna snorted, then checked herself. Been spending too much time with Eliza. “You haven’t known me that long. Kevin and I split up because I was too aloof and inaccessible.”
“Inaccessible? You? Did he suffer some kind of trauma to the head?” Adam’s confusion seemed authentic rather than feigned on her behalf.
She chuckled, snuggling closer. “You’re good for my self-esteem.”
“Brenna, you’re a beautiful woman with the smarts and discipline to start her own successful company, you’re good with animals and children, and you kiss like no one’s business. Why would your self-esteem need my help?”
She thought about telling him that he saw her differently from others because, with him, she was different. Maybe it was easier to be herself with Adam because she’d always known he was leaving. Since there was no chance of him becoming a long-term fixture in her life, there was minimal risk. Or was it more than that? He evoked reactions from her other men didn’t.
She didn’t know why. Nor did she care to analyze it further, her psyche having been sufficiently probed for one night. “You’ve been a great listener, and I’m looking forward to seeing you Tuesday night, but I should be going.”
“One kiss goodbye?” he asked.
In answer, she pressed closer to him. He tilted her chin up with his finger and captured her mouth.
White heat flashed in her blood, purging unpleasant memories and emotional uncertainties, leaving only sensation. She gripped the front of his shirt with both hands and held on for the ride, kissing him back urgently, coasting on a rising swell of desire. Adam leaned into her as if he couldn’t get close enough, and somehow she found herself in a nearly horizontal position, the swing rocking hectically beneath them.
She felt as if she were drowning in the most pleasurable way, breathing in only Adam, letting him blot out all else. Submerged in bliss and craving more, she slid his hand to her breast and arched into his palm.
If they’d kept going at that frenzied pace, she might have ended up making love to him right there on the front porch of the Chattavista Lodge.
Instead, they both sprang apart when, around the corner, the door to the main entrance opened and shut. Breathing hard, they stared at each other, wide-eyed in the shadows. Brenna remembered how Quinn had spoken of “sparks,” but this hadn’t been some tiny ember alighting randomly where it might become more or might just as easily be snuffed out. This had been a tidal wave of pent-up need that she’d never even noticed until she was in Adam’s arms.
“That was your idea of a goodbye?” she asked incredulously. Because it had felt much more like hello, the start of something cataclysmic and inevitable.
“If I was doing it wrong,” he said with studied innocence, “I’d be happy to practice until I get it right.”
“Wow, you doctors really are perfectionists.” Her blithe tone was an act, because inside she was reeling.
If being with Adam got any more perfect, how would she merrily bid him farewell in a week?
Chapter Thirteen
Adam waited until Tuesday morning at breakfast to have The Talk with his kids. “Hey, guys, there’s something I want to discuss with you.”
Geoff nodded, not even lowering his fork, and both girls looked up from their plates in silent expectation.
“At the beginning of our trip, I said I wasn’t ready to date anyone. That…may have changed.”
“Dating like Mommy and Daddy Dan did?” Morgan asked.
“Yes,” he said slowly, “but just because they got married doesn’t mean I will. Especially not anytime soon.”
Morgan sniffed. “I think you should marry Brenna.”
Eliza gasped. “He’s only known her for two weeks! And Brenna isn’t interested in him.”
“What?” Adam couldn’t stop the question from escaping.
“She told me,” Eliza said matter-of-factly. “We were talking about how she didn’t think dating was worth all the trouble and—”
“You’re so full of it,” her brother accused. “Brenna told me that she does like him!”
Adam whirled around to face his son. “You were discussing this with her, too?”
“No need to thank me, Dad. Just being your wingman.”
Adam’s mouth opened, then closed again. No sound emerged. Wearily, he looked at Morgan. “By any chance, did you also have a chat with Brenna about whether or not she should date me?”
“Nope. We mostly talk about Ellie the cat.”
“Okay.” He took a deep breath, determined to get the conversation back on track. “I’m not marrying anyone. Not now, possibly not ever, we’ll just have to see. But I would like to go out with Brenna tonight.” Although technically they’d planned to stay in.
“No!” Eliza looked outraged.
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t think you should date her.”
“After everything she’s done for you and your brother and sister?” Adam was startled by how forcefully she objected to the idea. “What can you possibly have against her?”
“But you said you weren’t going to.”
“I know. And I’m sorry for any confusion. I’ve changed my mind, though. I want you to know I didn’t do it lightly,” he told her. “I talked to your mama, too. And Brenna herself. And now I want to talk it over with you kids, keep you fully involved in what’s going on in my life.”
“Are you in love with her?” Eliza challenged.
The obvious answer was no, but somehow he got distracted giving it. He was too busy remembering the first time he’d seen Brenna, there on the side of the road. The sound of her wry, husky laugh. The party she’d thrown for Morgan. The way she kissed.
“Eliza, men and women don’t start dating because they’re in love. They date to find out if they’re compatible, to see if, under the right circumstances, they could love each other. None of this changes how much I love you guys, though.”
Morgan tried to ask, “What ‘right circumstances’?”
But Eliza overrode her with, “A week from now you’ll be back at that hospital.” She spat the word at him like an obscenity. “Even if you think you’re ‘compatible,’ what’s the point?”
His mind skittered to the kisses he’d shared with Brenna on the porch swing. They had unfinished business, but that was hardly an appropriate answer.
“I’m not sure yet,” he admitted. “Some things you just don’t know until after the fact. But I’ve known almost since I met her that Brenna Pierce is a special person. Does anyone disagree with that?”
A moment passed, and no one said anything. She’s won us all over. Miracle of miracles, the four of them agreed on something.
“Then it’s settled,” he declared. “I’m seeing her tonight.”
JOSH HAD DONE a great job as a rafting guide—keeping them safe and informed, but entertained, too—and the kids were thrilled to see him Tuesday evening.
“Everyone got their shoes on?” he asked as he stepped into the suite. “Nat’s waiting down in the car.”
“Almost ready,” Morgan called from the girls’ shared bedroom. “Eliza’s helping me fix my hair.”
Adam faced Geoff. “Why don’t you grab my wallet off the nightstand? I want to make sure you guys have plenty of money for the food and the movie tickets.”
When it was just the two men, Josh said cheerfully, “Give Brenna a hug for me, and you two have fun tonight. Just…be careful. This is kind of my fault.”
Adam blinked. “I don’t follow.”
Josh glanced away, his expression almost guilty. “I’ve been nagging her for a couple of months to go out with somebody, anybody. And now here you are.”
Somebody, anybody? Adam’s lips twitched.
“That sounded bad,” Josh said, backpedaling. “All I meant was, Bren can be a really private person. She doesn’t open up to others easily.”
Thinking of the other night on the lodge porch, Adam raised his eyebrows. Was it possible that her stepbrother didn’t know her as well as he thought? Sure, she hadn’t introduced herself on that first day with “Hi, I’m Brenna, my mother abandoned me and I have trust issues,” which would have been freaky, but in only a couple of weeks, she’d taken Adam into her confidence. She was funny and compassionate, honest and good-natured with his kids. She’d not only had them in her home several times, she’d given them permission to be there even when she wasn’t. Hardly a closed-off misanthrope.
“I’ve been encouraging her to take chances,” Josh recapped. “And now she is! So I’m going to feel like crap if you end up hurting her.”
“Not half as crappy as I’d feel,” Adam said, a little offended that Josh thought he needed to issue a protective warning. “Trust me, I really like your sister.”
Massive understatement.
The last time Adam had cared for a woman this much, he’d gone on to marry her.
DARN QUINN for having a life anyway.
Brenna had called the woman in hopes of her coming over for wardrobe consultation, but Quinn was away on a long weekend with friends at a beach house and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. Brenna improvised by modeling different outfits—deliberately feminine and sexy versus not-trying-too-hard, “nonchalantly sexy”—for the dog and cats. For the most part, the animals seemed undecided, viewing all clothes merely as objects on which to shed.
Finally Brenna chose a deep-blue sundress with a flirty knee-length skirt and shoulder straps that tied into simple knots over her bare arms. She double-checked to make sure no strand of cat or dog hair had made it onto the fabric. Not wanting to be overdressed for an evening at home, she left off shoes and jewelry. The look was simple and pretty.
Too antsy to just sit and wait for Adam’s arrival, she shooed the animals out into the yard and sunporch, then checked on dinner. She’d put in a lasagna earlier, setting the oven to automatically shut off in an hour. Only twenty minutes to go.
There was a knock at the door. Her pulse raced.
In the past she might have paused, taken a moment to compose herself, not wanting to seem overeager. Now she flung open the door and graced him with a bright, welcoming smile. “You’re here!”
“You’re stunning.” His gaze dropped over her body, then returned to her eyes. “I’ve never seen you in a dress before.”
She couldn’t suppress the audacious hope that he’d see her out of the dress later. “You look nice, too. Come on in.”
With the door shut behind them, he handed her a bottle of white wine. “I stopped and got this. Shall we chill it?”
“Thank you, that was very thoughtful.” She studied the label. “As it happens, this is one of my favorites.”
“Oh, it isn’t for you,” he drawled, following her into the kitchen. “It’s for me. I haven’t done this in a long time, and I figured I might need liquid courage.”
She laughed. “Am I that scary?”
Leaning closer, he traced his index finger down her face and over her collarbone. “Terrifying.”
Shivering at his touch, she whispered, “Back at you.”
As soon as she’d placed the bottle of wine in the fridge, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. Long, leisurely moments later, when she came up for air, Brenna purred, “I do like the way you say hi.”
He kissed her again, more intensely, until throbbing need built inside her. Her knees felt shaky, and she let herself lean on him for support.
She bit her bottom lip. “It’s been a long time for me, too, so I’m fuzzy on the etiquette of a date. What if, for instance, I skipped over the preliminaries and food and asked you to make love to me? Would that be moving too fast?”
“Fast?” His dark eyes blazed with intensity, his voice a rasp. “I’ve wanted to be inside you for days.”
His raw desire for her was dizzying. “Come with me,” she said.
He raised an eyebrow, a naughty grin tugging at his mouth.
She grinned back at him. “Into the living room!”
Taking her hand, he led her into the other room, kissing her again long before they ever reached the couch. When the backs of her legs bumped the cushions, she just kept going, reclining and pulling him down with her. They shifted so that he was lying next to her, partly atop her, still exchanging those soul-searing, bone-melting kisses.
“You’re so good at this,” she whispered, knowing instinctively that he’d be just as skilled with the rest of it.
As if reading her mind and wanting to prove her right, he nuzzled a path of kisses down toward the cleavage of her dress, stopping only when he reached the lacy edges of her bra. Then he glanced up, locking gazes with her as he untied the straps of her dress. The material slid lazily down over her shoulders, and he sucked in a breath at the sight of her in just her bra.
He traced his thumb in a wide arc over one silky cup, and her nipples hardened into tight points. She wanted to rush him onward, needing more, even as she wanted it to take forever, drawing out the potent pleasure and the deliciously exquisite ache he created. Threading her fingers through his hair, she pulled him down for a hard kiss. He deftly unclasped her bra, baring her to his touch. Instead of feeling self-conscious, she felt wanton and decadent. When he took her in his mouth, she arched off the couch with a little cry.
His weight on top of her was thrilling, but she wanted to feel him against her, nothing separating their flesh. She skimmed her hands beneath the hem of his shirt and across the muscles of his back. He sat up, breaking their kiss long enough for her to tug the fabric up and over his head. He was even better-looking without his clothes.
She dropped her hand to the zipper of his jeans, running her palm down the length of his erection through the denim. He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment. When he opened them again, there was such blatant hunger in them that she trembled all the way to her core. She stood, giving her sundress one solid pull and letting it pool at her feet. Never once taking his eyes off her, Adam removed the rest of his clothes.
She straddled him, moving against his lap, their mouths fused together. His tongue thrust against hers, stoking an already out-of-control need. She shimmied out of her panties while he fumbled for a condom. Then she raised herself over him and slowly eased down, gasping at the erotic shock of him inside her. For a second she went completely still, savoring the feel of their joined bodies. But then he brushed his thumbs over her nipples, lightly at first, then with increasing pressure. She tightened around him, her body moving of its own accord.
Keeping his eyes on hers, he trailed his hands up her thighs, unerringly finding where she was most sensitive. The combination of sensations was overwhelming, hurtling her toward climax. He gripped her hips and drove up into her, relentlessly pushing her over the edge.
“Adam!” She felt flung from her body, distantly aware of him finding his own release. Incapable of thought, she sagged against his chest, bonelessly content. A girl could get used to this.
It was a dangerous thought. Used to it? Not unless she wanted her heart broken. Because he was leaving in five days.
He stroked her hair. “That…”
“Yeah.”
For a long time it was the most coherent speech they could manage. Reverently he laid her back, easing her onto the couch and covering her with his big body. He felt so good above her that she decided she wanted to make love this way the next time. Because they were definitely doing that again. There were so many things she wanted to do with this man, say to him, share with him. Realizing just how limited her opportunities were left a cold knot of dread in her chest.
“When do you have to go?” she asked. Did she sound panicky?
“In a hurry to get rid of me?” he drawled.
She dredged up enough energy to thump him on the back.
He kissed her collarbone, and she could feel him smile against her. “It’s okay, we still have time.”
No. We don’t.
“I DON’T WANT to go,” Adam said mournfully.
The sheet slid across Brenna’s naked skin as she sat up to hug him. “I know. But you have to.”
She needed him to go, anyway. She’d shuffled some appointments around to have tonight free, and tomorrow would start even earlier than usual. Yet she wondered now if she would have difficulty falling asleep. Her bed, which had always been more than adequate, was going to seem annoyingly empty once he departed.
He turned, covering her hand with his. “I wanted to ask you a favor.”
“Well, now would be the perfect time to do it,” she said wryly. After experiencing three shattering orgasms tonight, she was inclined to give him whatever he asked.
“Spend the Fourth of July with us?”
She wasn’t sure what she’d expected to hear, but that hadn’t been it. The invitation was…sweet. “It’s my busiest day this week, Adam. I’d love to, I would, but I can’t.”
His face fell. “We leave very early on the sixth. I won’t be here much longer.”
She tried to smile, but it felt so forced that she turned and rested her head against his broad shoulder, where he couldn’t see her expression. “We’ll always have Mistletoe,” she quipped.
“And that’s enough for you?” He didn’t sound accusing, but was genuinely bewildered.
“It has to be enough.” She pulled away and scooted up alongside him. Accepting reality was easier when they weren’t touching. “Adam, let’s look at this pragmatically. You have those three wonderful children who need you and an all-consuming job. I have a life here in Mistletoe and a business I’m trying to build.
“I’m so glad I met you I wouldn’t trade tonight for anything. But do you honestly see this having some sort of long-distance future?”
“I…With my career, that is hard to imagine,” he admitted.
“And do you see yourself moving to Mistletoe?”
“Away from my kids? Of course not!”
“Which is as it should be. By the same token, I’ve worked to establish a solid reputation and enough word of mouth to sustain a client base. I’m not going anywhere. I’d have to start completely over and I spent the first half of my life doing that. This—us—was temporary.” Her voice softened. “Incredible and something I’ll always remember. But temporary.”
“I know you’re right.” He cupped her cheek. “But I selfishly want more of you before I go. You’ve come to mean a lot to the kids, too. Are you sure you can’t join us? If not for the downtown festival during the day, at least for the fireworks?”
“I don’t know. I’m booked solid. By the time I finish daytime assignments, I’ll barely have time to grab something to eat before it’s time to get the evening visits started. But maybe,” she mused, tamping down the objections of her own common sense, “with careful scheduling and some help…”
There were several subdivisions where she had more than one customer on the same street, the beauty of happy pet-owners referring their neighbors to her. If Quinn was willing to help, could they set up a divide-and-conquer system? The woman had ridden with Brenna a couple of times in the past, learning the ropes. Would she be ready for a couple of the simpler solo gigs?
Brenna had known that, by the winter holidays, she didn’t want to be working alone. She’d warned her clients already that she might occasionally bring in someone else for training purposes or give someone working for her temporary use of a house key. Her customers trusted her and agreed that, at her discretion, she could send an employee on her behalf.
“I’ll look into it,” Brenna said. “But no promises, so don’t get too attached to the idea.”
He gave her a rueful smile. “A little late for that warning. I’m already too attached.”
Chapter Fourteen
Adam was relieved that none of the kids asked for details of his date the next day. He wasn’t sure what he would have said. Mostly they chatted about the upcoming festival. Josh had told Geoff all about the annual antique car show that the boy was excited about, while Morgan looked forward to the fireworks. If Eliza seemed less ebullient about the event than her siblings, at least she wasn’t being negative about it.
“Daddy,” Morgan asked during lunch, “can Brenna come with us to the festival?”
Adam grinned. “Great minds think alike.”
Morgan wrinkled her nose. “What’s that mean?”
“It means I already asked her,” he said. Seeing the excitement lighting his daughter’s eyes, he hastened to add, “But she probably won’t be able to.”
Eliza looked sullen, but he couldn’t tell whether his daughter was miffed that he’d invited Brenna or upset that the woman wouldn’t be able to come with them.
“She really wants to come with us,” he assured Morgan, “but she has a lot of work to do that day. It depends on whether she can find help with her pet-sitting.”
“I’ll help!” the five-year-old declared.
Geoff laughed. “Spending the day with dogs and kitty cats does sound right up your alley, but we can’t. Brenna told me that only adults are allowed to go into the houses where she’s working.”
Morgan scowled, but seemed unwilling to let the matter go. “Daddy’s an adult. He could help.”
Eliza exhaled impatiently. “Then what do we do, dummy?”
“That’s not how we talk to one another,” Adam reprimanded sternly.
Geoff’s expression was thoughtful. “I don’t know, I think the squirt’s on to something. What if we could hang out at the festival with Josh and Natalie? Then Dad and Brenna could meet us there later, like, for dinner and stuff. They might miss some of it, but the fireworks are the coolest part, anyway. We like Josh and Natalie, right?”
“Right!” Morgan chirped.
Even Eliza was forced to admit, “They’re pretty cool. For grown-ups.”
“I don’t know.” Adam hesitated. Josh and Natalie had already been very gracious with their time, and he didn’t want to take advantage of their generosity. Besides, it had never been his intention to spend the holiday away from his children.
Still, time with Brenna was running out fast. They had only a few days left together, and he couldn’t deny wanting to steal as many moments and memories as possible before his vacation was done.
WHEN BRENNA’S cell phone rang that night, she knew instinctively that it would be Adam. Though she hadn’t realized it until now, she’d been waiting for him to call.
“Hi,” he said. “Got a minute to talk?”
“I can spare a minute.” For you. “I might even have some good news. Quinn said she’d help me on the Fourth. It will still be awfully tight, but if I push—”
“As it turns out, I have a little good news myself. How would you feel about an extra pair of hands? I don’t know the area well enough to be zigzagging around town on my own, and people here don’t know me at all, but could I help if I rode with you?”
Yes, actually. There were always several small tasks to do at each stop, and two could work faster than one. Her heart sped up. The idea of hours alone with Adam seemed like a precious gift. She wasn’t in danger of falling into the habit of leaning on him. He wouldn’t be around long enough for that to happen.
“What about the kids?” she asked.
“Well, Geoff tossed out the idea that maybe they could hang with your brother. If you don’t think he’s sick of them?”
“Oh, he’s crazy about them. But I know he’s working some of the midway games, and Natalie’s busy with the parade that morning. I tell you what—let me talk to them and determine everyone’s schedule.”
“Meanwhile, I’ll talk to Lydia,” he brainstormed. “But if we can work it out, you’ll let me come with you? I really want to help.”
“And I really appreciate it,” she said softly, but she was torn between being overjoyed by his offer and wishing he hadn’t called.
If she kept falling for Adam Varner, who was going to help her recover when he left town and broke her heart?
AS IT TURNED OUT, finding a babysitter for the festival was easy. Maggie called Brenna’s cell phone early Wednesday morning to ask if she wanted to bring her new friend to Sunday dinner.
“I don’t know,” Brenna said. “I’ll definitely pass along the invitation, but it will be up to the Varners. Sunday is their last evening here, and I’m not sure what they have planned.”
“I suppose that’s understandable.” Maggie sounded disappointed. “We were just hoping to meet him. And those kids! Seems like a lifetime ago that you and Josh were young.”
An idea took shape in Brenna’s mind. After all, who was better with children than Maggie Pierce? “Hey, are you guys going to the festival this year?”
“Of course! You know Fred never misses the turtle race. He won’t admit it, but I’m pretty sure he bets on those silly races every year.”
Most men did, even if they felt foolish owning up to it—it was a Mistletoe tradition.
“This may be a lot to ask, but how would you feel about some extra company for the festival?”
IT WAS BARELY FIVE in the morning when Brenna got out of bed on Independence Day. She’d spoken with Quinn and Adam multiple times in preparation. Since she couldn’t in good conscience inflict this early hour on either of them, she’d decided to do the first visits by herself and then meet up with them at the Diner for a quick breakfast while she divvied up everyone’s duties for the day.
She caught herself humming as she cleaned a fish tank. Though she liked her job, she wasn’t usually this peppy first thing in the morning. She shied away from admitting to herself just how much she was looking forward to seeing him.
Quinn, however, was unashamed of her own eager curiosity to meet him. She called Brenna to let her know she was en route to the Diner. “I can’t wait to see this guy! I hate that I was out of town the night of your date—you know, the one you refuse to share any of the details about. I would have been happy to give you wardrobe advice.”
Brenna grinned into the receiver, glad her friend couldn’t see her telltale smirk. “Oh, I did all right on my own.”
“If I get there first, do you want me to order for you?” Quinn offered.
“Yes, please. I have to walk the Webers’ Weimaraner, but then I’m on my way.” She’d just given Quinn her breakfast request and disconnected when the phone chirped again. “Hello?”
“Morning.” Adam’s voice rumbled through the phone.
She felt her entire body responding, her face smiling, her posture subtly relaxing. “Hey, there. Maggie make it over to the lodge?”
“Oh, yes.” The two words held a wealth of humor. “She’s quite…I think she hugged me three times. And she managed to carry on concurrent conversations with Geoff about the car show today, Eliza about some new brand of lip gloss and Morgan about her favorite cartoon. How does Maggie even know about that?”
“Neighborhood kids, I imagine. It started when a girl across the street would come over for the time between when she got home from school and when her mother got home from her part-time job. She’d hang out in Maggie’s kitchen. Word about the pie got out, and now there’s at least one kid dropping by every day of the week. Maggie’s good with them.”
“I’ll say! I got tired just listening to her chat with my three.”
Brenna laughed. “Not too tired, I hope. I plan to work you hard today.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“Adam! You’re awful.”
“What? I didn’t say anything. Don’t project your wicked thoughts onto me.”
She was grinning from ear to ear when they got off the phone. The sun was shining, the kids were in great hands, her good friend promised to have caffeine ready and waiting, and Brenna would get to spend hours alone with Adam, culminating in brilliant fireworks.
It was going to be a great day.
BY MIDMORNING Brenna and Adam had fallen into an easy, natural rhythm. While they were driving, they chatted and laughed a lot. She learned that the Rolling Stones were his favorite band and that he did a truly terrible Mick Jagger impression. She’d written a list of their assignments, analyzing location and meds schedules to put them in the order that made the most sense. After each visit was concluded and she’d double-checked that the house was secure, they’d return to the car where he’d immediately read off the next stop.
In the car, she’d outline what she needed him to do. Usually he handled stuff like bringing in people’s mail and watering plants while she took care of the pets. At one house, he tossed a tennis ball in the backyard for an indefatigable Jack Russell terrier while Brenna filled food bowls and undertook the always fun mission of giving a cat a pill. While Adam’s presence only shaved off a few minutes at most visits, those minutes added up over the course of the day. As soon as they reached their destination, chitchat stopped as they focused on their respective tasks.
She pulled into a driveway in the Heritage Pond subdivision, and he had his seat belt off before she got her keys out of the ignition.
“Synchronize watches,” he deadpanned. “And we’re ready to move out. Go, go, go, this is not a drill!”
Once they met back up at the front door to leave the house, she asked, “Do your patients know the truth about you, that you’re a total nut?”
“No, the hospital’s worked very hard to keep that under wraps. Otherwise people tend not to trust me with cutting their chests open.”
She shuddered. “The less time I spend thinking about what you actually do, the better. I couldn’t take it, the pressure of essentially holding someone else’s heart in my hands.”
He paused in the act of opening the passenger door, giving her a long, measured look over the roof of the hatchback.
Brenna swallowed. She’d never really wanted to be entrusted with someone else’s heart, but the thought of Adam putting such faith in her was both humbling and intoxicating.
Why now? She blinked rapidly, hoping he didn’t notice as they climbed into the car. Why did it have to be you? Yet she couldn’t find it in herself to regret anything that had transpired between them.
They hadn’t made it out of the subdivision before her cell phone rang. Quinn, she figured. Her friend should be about done with her short list of assignments; she had others that had to wait until this evening. She was probably calling to check in.
“More than Pup—” Brenna broke off, realizing that a phone was still ringing.
Adam had simultaneously realized the same thing. “Hello? Geoff, I don’t…Slow down. Maggie’s giving what to who?”
Gripped by a sense of foreboding, Brenna diverted her attention from the road to Adam’s profile. He’d gone ashen.
“We’ll be right there.” He snapped the phone closed. “We need to get to the festival. Now. Morgan’s missing.”
THOUGH BRENNA had turned around immediately, she’d been heading in the opposite direction of the festival. It would take them at least fifteen minutes to get there, and she’d been hoping with every fiber of her body that Maggie would have called by the time they arrived to let them know the little girl had been discovered safe and sound.
But that was not the case.
The festival was sprawled over the entire area of Mistletoe’s quaint downtown. There was not one main entry point. You simply parked in a field or lot as close as you could get, then walked from there. Maggie had been with the kids on the parade route while Fred had gone to buy them cold beverages—the temperature had already been well into the nineties by the time the parade started.
According to Geoff, one minute Morgan had been standing with them among the throng on the sidewalk, the next she’d been gone. In the dense crowd it had been difficult to spot someone so small. As soon as they’d realized what had happened, Maggie had given the little girl’s description to nearby police officers while Geoff called his dad.
Adam hadn’t said anything the entire ride, and Brenna couldn’t think of what to say to him other than a firm “We’ll find her.” He’d nodded tersely, his jaw clenched.
When River had been a kitten, she’d slid out the door without Brenna noticing and hadn’t come home for nearly two days. Brenna had been beside herself with worry. And that was a cat. She couldn’t imagine the hell Adam was going through imagining his five-year-old daughter scared and alone in the packed streets of an unfamiliar town.
Brenna stopped the car, and Adam was out the door before she’d even put it in Park. She saw him dial his phone, heard him ask Geoff, “Anything?” and watched his shoulders sag in defeat.
There was no central PA system for the festival, but several venues used microphones, such as the local bands performing in the oversize gazebo and the sports announcers covering the turtle races. According to Geoff, Fred was systematically going to each of those places to seek people’s help and to ask that anyone seeing Morgan call his cell phone number. Meanwhile, Maggie and Eliza were thoroughly checking all the women’s restrooms in case Morgan had wandered off simply because she needed to go to the bathroom. They were all keeping contact via phone and had left Geoff standing on the sidewalk along the parade route—the last thing they wanted was for Morgan to return only to find everyone else gone.
Geoff described his location to his dad, and Adam turned away from the phone for a moment to ask Brenna, “You know where Christy’s Crafts Corner is?” At her nod, he told his son, “Stay put, we’re coming to you.”
Mistletoe hosted many seasonal events, from the community haunted house every fall to the Winter Wonderland dance that benefited the seniors center. Brenna had always loved these activities, enjoyed the buzzing energy of the crowd, running into dozens of familiar acquaintances. Today, however, the sheer number of people became oppressive and sinister; what would this crush seem like to a little girl who didn’t know anyone?
As they shouldered their way through the mob, Brenna offered the only support she could think of—reaching down and taking Adam’s hand. He stiffened for a second, and she wondered if he would pull away. But then he squeezed her fingers.
She pointed to the left. “The craft store that Geoff’s in front of is just—”
“Daddy!”
Given the high volume of ambient noise, it was amazing they even heard her, but Adam whipped around so quickly he almost took out a passing pedestrian. He scanned the crowd, relief instantly flooding his expression when he spotted his daughter a few yards away. He took off in her direction, Brenna hurrying to catch up, and dropped to his knees in front of her. Morgan looked scared, but not nearly to the degree her father had been. His entire body was shaking as he squashed her into his embrace.
“Morgan! Oh, thank God,” he chanted. “Thank God, thank God. You scared the he—Where were you, baby?”
Her lower lip quivered, tears welling in her sky-blue eyes. “I…I don’t know. I just wanted to pet the little doggie, but then…” She began to wail.
Adam scooped her up in his arms, shushing her.
“Can you give me Geoff’s number? I’ll call him,” Brenna offered. She did so, moved by the naked relief in the teenager’s voice that his sister had been found. Next, Brenna called Maggie, knowing her stepmother must be frantic with concern and guilt.
“We found her,” Brenna said. “She wasn’t that far from where you guys were standing. I think she followed a puppy and got too turned around to find her way back.”
Adam had moved on from consoling to gently lecturing. His voice was kind but firm as he admonished Morgan to never, never, never, never do that again.
“Praise the lord,” Maggie said with feeling. “Eliza and I will meet you back there. I’ll call Fred now.”
Brenna could hear Eliza’s whoop of joy in the background as Maggie relayed the good news.
But joy was not the emotion plastered across the girl’s tearstained features when she stormed up to them a few minutes later. “Morgan Renee Varner, don’t you ever do that again!”
Morgan huddled shyly into her father’s side. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Eliza,” Adam said, “I know how upset you—”
“This is all your fault!” the girl blasted him, narrowing red-rimmed eyes. “You swore this trip was about us, spending time with your children! Then you went and dumped us on a total stranger—”
Maggie flinched but didn’t interrupt.
“—so that you could make some kind of booty call or something—”
“That is enough,” Adam said, his voice soft but echoing with cold finality.
Eliza’s shoulders slumped as if from the weight of all the emotions she’d gone through today. She stopped raging, but wounded anger still shadowed her gaze. “She’s not even your girlfriend, Dad. But you broke your promise for her. What if something had happened to Morgan?”
Adam briefly squeezed his eyes closed, actually staggering back a step as his daughter’s words struck him like a boxer’s KO punch. Brenna was certain Eliza hadn’t said anything he wasn’t already thinking himself. More than she had ever before, Brenna wanted to reach out to another person. She wanted to hug him, soothe him with reminders that his daughter was all right now. But under the circumstances, her touching Adam right now might not be welcome.
A lump rose in Brenna’s throat when Geoff, somehow looking years older than when she’d last seen him, moved closer to his father, laying a hand on his arm. An unmistakable sign of solidarity and support.
“Morgan,” Geoff began kindly, “why don’t you tell everyone you’re sorry? Especially Maggie. She was nice enough to bring us to the festival, then you scared her to death.”
“D-didn’t m-mean to.” Morgan hiccupped. “P-please don’t f-fight.”
“Nobody’s fighting,” Adam promised her. He shot a pointed glance at his other daughter.
Eliza nodded.
Brenna took that as her cue. “I’m so glad everyone’s okay. Why don’t you stick together for the rest of the day? I want you guys to have fun with your dad today at the festival.” She retreated a step.
Adam raised his gaze to her, looking miserable but grateful. They both knew there was no way he could go back to helping her with pet assignments now, and she was officially behind schedule. The way things stood, it was better that she didn’t intrude by joining them for fireworks.
She turned to Maggie, who was wringing her hands. “Adam and I both appreciate your doing us the favor. I’m sure the kids were having a great time earlier. I’ll see you for Sunday dinner?”
Her stepmother nodded, and Brenna kissed her on the cheek.
“And I’ll see you,” Brenna told the Varners, not quite meeting Adam’s eyes, “the day after tomorrow. You can stop by and pick up Ellie on your way out of town.” It was hard to get those words past the growing lump.
“Brenna.” The way he said her name was an ache.
She refuted him with a quick toss of her head. She wouldn’t, couldn’t, do the painfully drawn-out, emotional goodbye. That’s why Mom left the way she did, she realized suddenly. In retrospect, it had probably been better for both of them. If Brenna had known what her mother was planning to do, there would have been tears. She would have clung to her, begged her not to go.
Deep down, part of Brenna was having that same reaction to Adam now. Don’t go. Which was stupid, of course, but she couldn’t completely silence the inner plea.
Chapter Fifteen
Brenna opened her front door when she heard the tires in the driveway, resolved to be strong. Adam had called her last night to make sure she wouldn’t be flitting off to her first morning assignments before they got there.
“You will be there, right?”
Was it her imagination, or had there been an implied threat in his tone—as if he contemplated hunting her down if she tried to duck out of the farewell? He’d immediately seized the advantage when she hesitated, claiming that the kids deserved the chance for a face-to-face goodbye and that she should understand that better than anyone. Dirty pool, in Brenna’s opinion.
But despite the attractive draw of the coward’s way out, Brenna couldn’t do it. Not only did she owe the kids a goodbye, she owed it to herself.
Well, here’s your chance.
Her eyes burned but remained dry as she watched the Varners file out of the SUV. At dinner last night, Maggie had confided that Adam had called her yesterday, asking if he and the kids could buy the Pierces lunch at the Diner. It was clear he wanted to make amends for what had happened and demonstrate that he didn’t blame Maggie in the least.
“We actually had a pretty good time,” Maggie said sorrowfully. “They’re a really nice family. Even that Eliza, when you get beneath the anger and pubescent mood swings. She’ll grow out of that.”
As usual, Brenna’s stepmom was right. They were a great family, and Brenna would miss each and every one of them. Even Eliza.
“Brenna!” Morgan squealed, restored to her usual exuberance since the last time they’d seen each other.
Brenna came down the porch steps to hug her. “Ready to take Ellie home and show her Tennessee?”
“Yep! Dad says we can pick out more stuff for her once we get her to his place. I made you a thank-you card for taking care of her.” Morgan handed her a folded piece of paper with crayon renditions of herself, Brenna and the cat.
“Thank you. This means a lot to me.” I am not going to cry.
Geoff was next. “It was nice to meet you. We had a great vacation.”
But now it was time for all of them to return to the real world.
She squeezed his shoulder. “Thanks for your help with my taxes.”
He winked at her, and she had a premonition of him as a grown man. “Try not to get audited.”
Adam cleared his throat. “Geoff and I are going to get Ellie’s stuff and load it into the car. If that’s okay?”
Brenna nodded, choking on everything she wanted to say to him. Even though no part of him brushed her as he passed—he gave her an unnecessarily wide berth—she felt his nearness as tangibly as a touch. The boys went inside, and Morgan asked permission to go pet Zoe and River one last time.
“Yes,” Brenna said, “but you have to promise me you’ll never follow another animal away from your parents or brother or sister or caregiver. It’s not safe. People need to know where you are, and you shouldn’t approach strange animals, anyway.”
Morgan hung her head. “I know. I told everyone I was really, really sorry.” Suitably reprimanded, she slunk into the house.
Leaving only Eliza, who sat on the hood of the car, picking at her nails. She’d chipped the hell out of her manicure.
Brenna sat next to her. “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but humor me. One last girl-to-girl.” First their chat about boys on the sunporch, then the crash course on pads, tampons and the most effective way to treat menstrual cramps. I’m having quite the Dear Abby summer.
Would the third time be the charm? She hoped that the girl was open-minded enough to truly hear what Brenna had to say. Since Brenna would probably never see the Varners again, she stood to gain nothing by this, but if a brief chat could make any improvement in Eliza’s life or Adam’s…
“I get why you were mad at your father the other day, but try to cut him some slack. When you guys get back home to Knoxville, don’t bust his chops every time he asks out a woman.”
Eliza remained mutinously silent.
“Seriously, you stand to benefit from your dad finding romance. Love isn’t finite. That’s something I didn’t realize at your age.” She recalled how worried she’d been that Fred and Maggie might not have enough parental affection to go around for their natural child and Brenna.
“Loving someone teaches you to have a bigger heart, makes you more likely to be patient and demonstrative with everyone else in your life. I know I’m better off for having fallen in love with—” She stopped abruptly, appalled at what she’d been about to say. “I’m better off.” Best to leave it at that.
Eliza finally looked up. “You don’t hate me?”
“Oh, honey.” If Brenna couldn’t understand a kid bitter about potentially losing a parent, who could? Just because Eliza was dead wrong about Adam—he would never willingly leave these kids—didn’t make her pain any less real. “I don’t hate you.”
“I know I’ve been a little…grumpy.”
Brenna managed a grin. “We’ve all been there. Let she who is without PMS cast the first stone.”
Eliza laughed. On the steps to the house, Geoff and Adam both froze at the musical sound.
“Whoa,” Geoff said to his father. “How did Brenna do that?”
Adam shrugged, but the ghost of a smile played about his lips. “She must have mad skills.”
Geoff groaned. “Don’t say stuff like that, Dad, I beg you.”
Though Eliza could no doubt hear them just as well as Brenna could, she ignored them. Instead, she frowned thoughtfully at Brenna. “You know, I think my mom would really like you.”
Once the kids and cat were packed into the car, Adam came toward her. Her heart hammered in her chest. She felt like she was dying for him to kiss her goodbye but risked dying a little inside if he did. Better to keep a safe distance, she told herself. Then she gave herself a shake. Her entire life, she’d subconsciously tried to keep people at a safe distance.
Until Adam and his kids.
Even with as much pain as she felt now, she was glad she’d met them, glad she’d been with him. In that spirit, she marched forward and clutched his shirtfront as she rose on her toes and planted one last kiss on his lips.
He clearly hadn’t expected that. His eyes were wide when she backed away. “I won’t ever meet another woman quite like you.”
“Safe journeys, Adam. Take care of your kids.”
“Take care of yourself,” he told her.
Those damn tears tried to rise again. “I always do.”
He got in the car and after one final, lingering look, gunned the engine and backed out of the driveway. She shaded her eyes against the sun and watched the SUV’s progress up and over the hill. Adam Varner was gone from her life just as he’d driven into it.
THE TRIP TO Knoxville wasn’t bad as far as road trips with three kids went. There was minimal yowling from a crated Ellie, punctuated by isolated squabbles. But none of that was as bad as Adam’s hollow feeling, as if he’d left part of himself in Mistletoe. Namely, his heart.
Luckily the kids all seemed to be in high spirits, excited to tell their mom and friends all about their vacation, so he tried to use that to bolster his own mood. It worked mostly, right up until the time they passed the Welcome to Tennessee sign and Eliza burst into tears.
“What now,” Geoff muttered, rolling his eyes in the front seat.
Eliza didn’t seem to notice. “You were right, Dad. I am a selfish brat!”
“Uh…” Adam searched his memory bank. “I’m pretty sure I didn’t say that.” Had he? Sara would kill him. He was pretty sure name-calling fell under the heading of Bad Parenting.
But then, so did losing your youngest child.
“At Kerrigan Farms,” Eliza insisted. “It’s what you said, more or less.”
“I think sometimes you can act selfishly,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “The same is true of everyone. Work harder to make good choices, and take other people’s feelings into consideration. What is this about, Liza?”
“Your feelings. And Ms. Pierce’s. I was so upset when Bobby liked that other girl.”
Bobby the punk lifeguard? Adam waited, not sure where his daughter was going with her line of reasoning. Assuming there was one.
“But you must feel a billion times worse leaving Brenna! I never should have yelled at the two of you.”
“I agree that you overreacted the other day, and if you’re feeling badly about what you said, maybe you could send her a note of apology. But don’t beat yourself up too much. We were always going to leave Mistletoe. Brenna knew that.” Had seemed to accept it more easily than he had, as a matter-of-fact. “We never had a real future.”
“But she loves you,” Eliza sobbed. “I messed up everything! You could have been happy, like Mom and Dan.”
His mind flashed to Sara and Dan’s wedding, only it was himself he pictured, Brenna’s face beneath the ivory veil. And it was all too easy to picture the two of them away on a tropical honeymoon.
“Let’s not blow everything out of proportion,” he said, his caution more for himself than his daughter. “Brenna cared about me, she cared about all of us, but ‘love’ is a strong—”
“I’m not being melodramatic! She said it this morning. She said she loved you and was a better person because of it.”
Adam’s heartbeat exploded in his ears. For a second he felt so dizzy he worried about driving safely. Taking a deep breath, he maneuvered the car over to the shoulder of the road.
“You’re sure?” he asked his daughter. He had difficulty letting himself believe it, but maybe it wasn’t so farfetched.
After all, he’d fallen in love with her.
“Eliza, what else did she say?”
BRENNA SAT with Quinn and Arianne Waide on Quinn’s front porch, battling the suspicion that she’d been invited to their girls’ night because Quinn felt sorry for her. But coming here to vent over margaritas had sounded a damn sight better than staying home and wallowing. Since the clients who’d scheduled their vacation to coincide with the Fourth of July were home now, she didn’t even have a busy work schedule to take her mind off things.
Things? Way to deflect, Bren. There was only one “thing” on her mind. Dr. Adam Varner.
“We’ve lost her,” Ari told Quinn in a mock whisper.
“Thinking about the handsome doc again?” Quinn asked sympathetically.
“Yes.” There was no point in denying it.
Ari ran her finger around the rim of her glass, bringing the salt to her lips. “I’m sorry I never got to meet him. Our entire family has been so wrapped up with the new baby. Was the surgeon really that hot?”
“Yes,” Quinn and Brenna chorused.
Brenna raised her eyebrows.
Quinn chuckled. “Well, he was.”
“These summer-lovin’ flings never end well,” Ari said, the sage tone a bit humorous coming from a twenty-three-year-old. “Grease being the exception that proves the rule.”
“The worst part is he was a good guy,” Quinn said. “If he had any decency, he would have done something hateful so we could sit here and bash him, which might make you feel better, Brenna.”
“No, I knew from day one that he would be leaving. And I knew his kids needed to be his top priority. That’s one of the things I admired about him even.”
Quinn shrugged. “Then I’m afraid all I’ve got is the chestnut about it being better to have loved and lost than to—”
“Oh, please!” Arianne was aghast. “I always thought that dumb saying applied only to wimpy women. I say if you love them, track their butts down.”
Quinn looked equal parts fascinated and horrified. “Ari, I think any guy you ever set your sights on should be a little afraid.”
Tuning out their banter, Brenna allowed herself to consider, just for a second, what “tracking him down” would entail. A long-distance relationship? To what end? Even if she thought they were suited to that—and she suspected she wasn’t, while he’d flat-out said he didn’t want that—where would it lead? The more time she spent in Mistletoe, the deeper the roots of her company. Besides, as she’d learned after going away to college, this was home. She’d gone too long without one to give it up lightly. Whereas Adam had a cardiac practice and the three most important people in the world to him grounding him in Knoxville.
No, it was best that they’d parted ways cleanly. The most she could do now was try to learn from what happened between them. Maybe, eventually, she could honor her feelings for him by being more open to relationships in the future. Unfortunately, as hard as she tried, she couldn’t imagine being happy with a “next” guy. Her heart already knew the guy it wanted.
SARA INSISTED that Adam at least stay for dinner before heading home. “You’ve been on the road for hours. Stay, please.”
The kids had enthusiastically cheered this idea, so he’d capitulated. He couldn’t get that excited about going home to his empty place, anyway. He found himself absurdly grateful for the cat. She would help mitigate the solitude—plus, she was a reminder of Brenna. After dinner Geoff disappeared into his room to call Gina, Eliza booted up her computer to message her friends and Dan went to tuck in a very tired Morgan.
“So.” Sara propped an elbow on the table, leaning her chin on her fist. “Some trip, huh?”
“I am so sorry about Morgan getting lost like that. I swear I—”
“Adam. I don’t blame you for that. We’ve never endured anything on quite that scale, but there have been moments. Do you remember when Eliza was about her age and I told you how much I panicked when I looked around a department store and didn’t see her?’
He was startled. “No.” That seemed like something he should remember.
“Oh. Well, it turned out she thought it would be funny to play hide-and-seek and had dropped to the floor, crawling into a rack of clothes. She was only gone for a minute or two before I realized what had happened, but for that minute…”
“Thank you.” After all the times he’d given Sara reason to be frustrated with his parenting efforts, or lack thereof, he deeply appreciated her trying to make him feel like he was a good father.
She suddenly grinned, mischievous. “I want to hear more about this Brenna.”
His face actually warmed. Oh, brother. Was he blushing in front of his ex? He’d managed to head off the moment at dinner when Eliza had started to share that Brenna “loved” him, but he hadn’t done so quickly or gracefully enough to deter Sara’s interest.
What the hell, he might as well tell her about Brenna. If he didn’t, she’d hear all about her from the kids, anyway.
“She’s amazing. It’s like she gave everyone exactly what they needed. A cat for Morgan, the pride of employee responsibility for Geoff, womanly advice for Eliza—just until we were able to get you on the phone,” he added quickly.
“What about you? What did she give you that you needed?”
He was quiet for so long that even he didn’t think he would answer the question until he heard himself say, “Love. It sounds insane, doesn’t it? But I think I love her.”
Sara straightened. “Then what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re in love with a woman in Mistletoe, Georgia.”
“Yes.” Funny, but the more times he admitted it, the better he felt.
“Then either she needs to be here or you need to be there. Adam, no offense, but I’ve watched you squander love before. The kids’, before you finally wised up—this vacation was the smartest thing you’ve done in years—mine.” She held up a hand, fending him off. “I’m not blaming you for the divorce. We both could have done things differently. But people loved you.”
“And I took it for granted,” he said softly. After this past week he truly believed that he and the kids were on the right track again. But how much time had he lost?
He thought of Brenna and considered Sara’s deceptively simple question: What are you doing here? Did he want to lose any more time with someone he loved, or seize the day and be with her?
SINCE BRENNA HADN’T been sleeping well for the past week and a half, it seemed likely that the SUV sitting in her driveway was a hallucination born of exhaustion. She rubbed her eyes and looked again.
Still there.
By the time she’d parked behind it, she’d already seen the man sitting at the top step of her porch. Adam! She was completely flummoxed, her shock not fading in the slightest as she got out of the car and approached him with no clue what to say.
“What are you doing here?”
He leaned back on his elbows and grinned. “I get that a lot. You look good.”
Then he must be even more tired than she was. She’d overslept this morning and dressed without a shower, slapping a ball cap on her head and vowing to come home and clean up more when she was done with the visits that had to be taken care of early. She certainly hadn’t expected to find Adam sitting here when she returned.
“How long have you been waiting?” she asked.
“Since about seven-thirty. I brought two cups of coffee, hoping to catch you before you started your day. I wound up drinking them both,” he said sheepishly.
“B-but what if I hadn’t come home between morning and midday assignments? You weren’t really planning to sit on my porch all day?”
“Not all day.” He gave her a lopsided smile. “I have an appointment at three.”
She plopped down on the step next to him, partly because she didn’t think her legs would support her anymore. This was a lot to take in. “You came back.”
For her? What kind of appointment? Was he doing some sort of medical consulting here in Mistletoe?
“Had to. I forgot something.” He slid closer, turning her face to meet his gaze. “I forgot to mention that I’m in love with you.”
Her mind went blank. Completely and utterly void. She wasn’t even sure how long she stared back at him, stupefied.
Say something, Bren! A woman more comfortable with emotional declarations would probably say she loved him, too.
Brenna, on the other hand, told him he was crazy. “In love? But that’s nuts. I’m…You…What about your kids?”
“Actually, I think my improving relationship with them has made it easier to accept falling for you. As it turns out, loving someone just makes you more receptive to giving and accepting love from others. It makes you a better person.”
She blinked, hearing her own words coming back to her. “Your twelve-year-old has a big mouth.”
“And a big heart. She already loves you a little. And I love you a lot.” For a moment his smile slipped, vulnerability leaking into his expression. “But I should probably stop beating you over the head with declarations I’m not even sure you want to hear. You haven’t mentioned whether…”
Oh, God, hadn’t she said it yet? It was so ever present in her thoughts that she was surprised people couldn’t look at her and hear her thinking it.
“I love you, Adam. I can’t believe you came back for me!” When had she started crying?
He kissed her with slow thoroughness. She recalled how rushed they’d been with each other the night they’d made love, because they’d known they didn’t have long. Now his every unhurried caress spoke of a man who believed they had a future.
“I’ve thought about you, too,” she admitted, tilting into his touch as he wiped away a tear with his thumb. “I even entertained mad ideas about moving to Tennessee. But—”
“Lord, don’t do that. It would be pointless if you moved there and I got a job here. Very O. Henry.”
“You’re applying for a job here?” she said, certain she hadn’t heard him right.
He shrugged. “Why not? I care about what I do, but it doesn’t have to be in Tennessee. People in Mistletoe have hearts, too.”
She could attest to that. Hers was currently full to bursting.
“The medical center is attracting all kinds of new patients, and the local hospital is going to need to take on new doctors to keep up with the growing number of surgeries. I don’t think it will keep me as busy as my current position in Knoxville, but I want more time for me. For my kids.” He stared into her eyes. “For us. Our relationship would have to be long-distance for at least a few weeks, while I get everything settled, but the people I’ve talked to seem very interested in signing me on.”
She resisted the urge to succumb to the pure, shimmering happiness threatening to engulf her, afraid there must be some kind of catch. Not even Maggie and Fred and Josh opening their hearts to her had quite prepared her for someone loving her on a scale of this magnitude. “But how would the kids feel about it? You just said your relationship is improving, so—”
“I didn’t do this without giving it serious thought,” he vowed. “If that were the case, I would have been back the same night as the day I left. I talked to the kids, talked to Sara, and what we decided is this—when you love people enough, you make them part of your life. You make an effort in spite of geography. Conversely, when you’re not trying, not even living under the same roof is a guarantee of being close.
“The kids don’t live with me, anyway. I get them for special occasions and some weekends, which they voted unanimously that they’d be happy to spend here. Knoxville is not at the other end of the galaxy. I can—I will—get up there for birthdays and graduations and school plays.”
Just like that, the dam broke. The joy she hadn’t quite dared to feel rushed over her in a wave and she was more than happy to let the undertow drag her out over her head. I love you, I love you, I love you.
She stood. “I have more pet visits to do.”
He nodded, looking disappointed but trying to hide it. “I understand. Maybe—”
“But I need to shower first. You know—” she tapped her finger to her lips “—we never really got to have our date on the Fourth of July.”
He arched an eyebrow. “No, I guess not.”
She pushed open her front door, grinning over her shoulder. “Come on, Dr. Varner. I owe you some fireworks.”
ISBN: 978-1-4268-3831-6
MISTLETOE MOMMY
Copyright © 2009 by Tanya Michna.
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