Abigail Gordon-Country Midwife, Christmas Bride p.03

He’d always been aware that by not remarrying he was denying the children a mother’s love. But
had consoled himself with the thought that better no mother than the wrong one, and now
unbelievably the right one had come along. He knew it, but Lizzie didn’t.


By the time she arrived back at the cottage Lizzie was dismayed at the way she’d behaved by
leaving James without a word, and her mortification increased at the sight of Bryan Timmins and
his wife approaching from the peace garden while she was parking her car.


‘Do you know anything about young Jolyon being in hospital?’ the burly farmer asked. ‘It’s on the


village grapevine but nobody seems to know much about it.’
He was remembering how the new midwife had called on James to save her from the docile Daisy
and had sensed that they might be friendly, even though she hadn’t been in the village five minutes.


‘Yes, I’ve just come from there,’ she told him, longing to get inside and take a long hard look at
herself. ‘Jolyon fell and hurt his head in the school playground and his father thought there might be
bleeding inside the skull.’


‘And was there?’ the farmer’s wife asked anxiously.
‘Yes, I’m afraid so,’ she told them, ‘but it’s been dealt with and he is now recovering from surgery.


He was due to come here on Saturday and was looking forward to seeing Daisy, and is very
disappointed.’
‘Young ‘uns set great store by some strange things, don’t they?’ Bryan said laughingly. ‘Who’d


have thought that seeing that dozy Daisy of mine would have been such an attractive prospect?’
They were about to move on and Lizzie said hesitantly, ‘I don’t suppose you could…er…’
‘What? Take the mountain to Mohammed? I suppose I could. I’ve transported cows all over the


place in me time, but is the young ‘un near a window? An’ they won’t want hoof marks all over the


hospital’s lawns and flower beds.’
‘I know St Gabriel’s well,’ she said. ‘I worked there for a long time. All the children’s section is on
the perimeter of the building next to a lane that is a public right of way. If you could pull up on
there opposite the children’s ward they would all be able to see Daisy.’


‘All right,’ he agreed. ‘When?’
‘Tomorrow afternoon all right?’
‘Yes, as it won’t interfere with the milking.’
‘I’ll check in the morning that it is where Jolyon will be, and if you don’t hear anything different


that’s the plan,’ she told him.
‘And will you be there?’ his wife asked curiously.
‘I’m afraid not. I have appointments at the clinic to deal with, but Dr Bartlett will be with him.



Don’t mention it to him, though, will you? I’d like it to be a surprise.’

She was hoping that it would be more in the form of atonement for the way she’d behaved in the
hospital waiting room earlier. Recalling her conversation with Ben in the car park, she wondered
just how obvious her uncertainties were to those she met.

James stayed the night at the hospital in a small suite at the end of the children’s ward provided
especially for the parents of sick children so that they could be near their little ones night and day if
they so wished.

He was still upset at the way Lizzie had left so quickly and as he lay wide awake with Jolyon
sleeping peacefully not far away, he was admitting to himself how much he’d needed her by his side
on one of the worst days of his life. And she’d been there, until Jess and Helen had turned up. For
the life of him he didn’t get the connection.

But was he ready to admit that he wanted Lizzie on the good days in his life as well as the bad in
the form of a binding commitment. Most of the time when they were in each other’s company she
was on the defensive and he wasn’t sure why. Yet there were moments when they were so in tune he
felt on top of the world.

Back at the cottage Lizzie rang Helen to ask if she needed any help with Pollyanna, it being the first
time the twins had ever been separated, and when James’s housekeeper answered the phone she said
thankfully, ‘You must have read my mind, Lizzie.

‘I’m struggling here with Pollyanna. She’s breaking her heart because James and Jolyon aren’t here.
She was fretful earlier because Jolly wasn’t there when it was bedtime and eventually he settled her
in his room away from the empty bed. But she’s awake again and in real distress. If you could come
over for a while, I would be most grateful.’

‘Of course I will,’ she said immediately. ‘I’ll stay the night if you like. Just give me a moment to
find a nightdress and my coat and I’ll be right with you.’

‘Thanks for that,’ Helen said. ‘I’m not as young as I used to be for coping with this sort of
situation.’

When she arrived at Bracken House, Lizzie found Pollyanna huddled on the bottom step of the
stairs in her nightdress, sobbing quietly, with Helen hovering over her anxiously.

‘Hello, Pollyanna,’ she said gently. ‘Are you missing Jolyon and your daddy? They will soon be
home, you know. And until they come would you like me to give you a cuddle?’

There was no reply, just a nod and a small hand held out to take hold of hers.

As they walked up the stairs together Pollyanna found her voice and said, ‘I was sleeping in
Daddy’s bed.’

‘So why don’t I tuck you up in it again?’

‘You said we were going to have a cuddle,’ was the reply.

‘Yes. I know I did.’ She opened the small bag she’d brought with her. ‘Look, I’ve brought my
nightie. I’ll just go and get changed, and we can cuddle up on your daddy’s bed if you want to.’

Still subdued, Pollyanna nodded, and when Lizzie returned and pulled back the covers, lay on the
bed and held out her arms, the tearful little girl slid into them and curled up against her with a
contented sigh.

When Helen came up to check on them some minutes later she found them both fast asleep with
Lizzie’s arms protectively around Polly, and as she smiled down at them she thought that James
must be blind if he couldn’t see that the one he’d been waiting for all this time had arrived.

After checking that Jolyon was all right and had eaten his breakfast the next morning, James went


home for a short stay to shower and change his clothes before the neurosurgeon was due to check
on his patient.

Jolyon’s face was black and blue with the severity of the fall followed by the surgery, and a dressing
on his head stood out starkly against the discolouration. But the hospital staff and his father were
satisfied with his progress and the young patient himself was gradually getting sufficiently
acclimatised to his strange surroundings for James to be absent for a short time.

When he arrived home he found Helen at the cooker and the table set for breakfast but no sign of
Polly, and she said, ‘She woke up not long after you’d gone last night and was still very upset, but
she’s asleep now.’As he went bounding up the stairs she was smiling a secret smile.

His glance went straight to the bed when he opened his bedroom door and his heart tightened in his
chest. It was true what Helen had said. Polly was still asleep, but she was sleeping peacefully in the
crook of Lizzie’s arm, with her small fair head resting contentedly against her breast.

Lizzie was awake, watching him with wary violet eyes. Unable to believe his eyes at the scene
before him, James thought that while he’d been fretting and fuming at St Gabriel’s about imaginary
rights and wrongs she’d been there for his children once again.

Lizzie carefully eased her arm from beneath the still sleeping Pollyanna. ‘Would you have a spare
robe I could borrow?’ she asked, feeling a faint flush of colour rise in her cheeks. He nodded and
reached into a nearby wardrobe for a silk striped robe that looked as if it was meant for special
occasions, and she thought that standing before him in her nightdress surely had to be one of those.

As she took it from him she saw that his glance was on her smooth shoulders and the rise of her
breasts under the thin cotton nightgown and it was easy enough to wonder what would have
happened if little Pollyanna hadn’t been sleeping nearby. But that was why she was in James’s
bedroom in the first place. There was no other reason she was ever going to be there.

‘I was mad at you for disappearing like you did yesterday without a word of explanation,’ he said in
a low voice as she wrapped the robe around her, ‘and then I find that after being there for my son,
you have been comforting my daughter. I am truly grateful, Lizzie.’

‘Don’t be,’ she said. ‘I’ve only done what any caring person would do in such a situation and,
James, it is I who should be apologising to you for leaving like I did. It was just that I suddenly felt
I was taking too much for granted and when Jess and Helen arrived I couldn’t see you needing me
any more. I wouldn’t have left if you’d been alone at the hospital.’

‘So that’s what you thought,’ he said slowly. ‘That I was happy to have you around when I had no
one else, but once reinforcements arrived you became surplus to requirements. How very selfish
that makes me sound.’

‘It isn’t meant to,’ she protested weakly. ‘You are the least selfish person I’ve ever met, and while
you’re handing out the medals it was just on the off chance that I phoned to check with Helen that
Pollyanna was all right. When she said how upset she was I came straight over. We came up here,
had a cuddle and she went to sleep in my arms. She was so upset about Jolyon. How is he this
morning?’

‘Battered and bruised but chirpy enough. I was close by him during the night and didn’t leave the
hospital until I’d made sure he’d had some breakfast. He was trying to decide if he wants to be a
doctor when I left him.’ James checked his watch. ‘I’m only here briefly as I want to be there when
the neurosurgeon comes to check on him. So let’s go down and see what Helen has for breakfast,
shall we? Then I’m going to have a quick shower and go back. I intended taking Pollyanna with me,
but if she’s still asleep when I’m ready to go, I’ll ask Helen to bring her later.’

When they went downstairs there was the same good food on offer as on the day when he’d sent her
to Bracken House for breakfast after the episode with the cow, and Lizzie held back a smile at the
thought of Bryan arriving on the lane with his dairy cow some time during the afternoon while she


was working in the clinic.

It was a strange feeling to be having breakfast with James, just the two of them in the big family
kitchen, Helen having put out the food and then made a tactful exit. This is how it would be if we
lived together, Lizzie thought dreamily, though with just one difference. The children would be
there to make it a family breakfast and she would love that, the four of them starting the day
together, but she knew that James’s thoughts were very different. His mind was on getting back to
Jolyon in St Gabriel’s as quickly as possible, and who could blame him for that?


CHAPTER EIGHT


LIZZIE wasn’t wrong about where James’s thoughts were and within minutes he was getting to his
feet and saying, ‘Ben will be in charge of the surgery in my absence, Lizzie. I’ll be staying with
Jolly for the rest of the day. I’m keeping Polly off school until her brother comes home in view of
her distress last night. I really do appreciate the way you’ve been there for them both and maybe
when life gets back to normal you’ll let me thank you in a positive way.’

She gave him a gentle push towards the door. ‘Thanks are not necessary, James. Don’t worry about
this end. I’ll be around to assist Helen with Pollyanna if she needs me, and Jess will be here soon,
won’t she?’

‘Yes. She can bring Polly to the hospital later in the day instead of Helen, who could do with a rest.’

‘What time will Jess be taking her? Not too late, I hope?’

‘Er, no,’ he replied, looking puzzled, and Lizzie thought he wasn’t to know that the farmyard was
coming to St Gabriel’s. She was going to ring the ward when he’d gone and tell the nurses to look
out for Daisy without James or Jolyon knowing anything about it, and as for Pollyanna, the next
time Lizzie went to Bracken House she was going to bring her the blue shoes to play with.

When Lizzie had said goodbye to her last patient of the day it was only half past four and she
decided to go straight to the hospital to see James and the children, but first she wanted to ask Ben
if he had any messages for James about the practice.

He smiled when the trim figure of the community midwife appeared and when she said, ‘I’m off to
the hospital to see if there is anything I can do, Ben. Pollyanna was very upset last night at being
separated from her brother and I stayed the night with her. She was still asleep when I left this
morning and hopefully might be feeling happier, but if she isn’t it’s a lot for Jess and Helen to cope
with while James is absent. I’ve popped across to see if you have anything you wish me to tell
James about the surgery while I’m there.’

He shook his head. ‘Only that everything is under control, Lizzie.’

‘Good. I’ll pass that message on.’ She paused in the doorway as she was leaving. ‘I want to check
on any visitors that Jolyon has had when I get there to find out if one of them had four legs.’

‘Four legs?’ he said blankly.

‘Yes, Daisy the cow is due to visit this afternoon.’

‘Right,’ he said, adding in the bemused sort of tone used by those who thought they have a deranged
person to deal with, ‘I hope she doesn’t let him down.’ He grinned, unable to resist getting in on the
act. ‘Will she be bringing flowers or grapes?’

Lizzie hid a smile. ‘I’m not sure, but one thing she will have brought with her is a full udder.’And
off she went with a sense of purpose of the kind that she hadn’t experienced in a long time.

She was beginning to belong, she thought as she drove to the hospital between hedgerows dressed
in autumn colours of bronze and gold. To be accepted by the village and its people was a warming
thought, but to belong to the motherless ones and their father at Bracken House would be heaven on
earth.

She didn’t think the children would have any problem accepting her in place of the mother they’d
never known, but their father was a different matter. She’d thought it before and was thinking it
again. If James had coped without the joys of marriage for nearly six years, why would he think of
changing that for a dried-up, childless woman whose heart had been frozen for the last three years
and was only now beginning to feel warm again?

When she walked into the ward Pollyanna and Jolyon, who was still looking battered and bruised
with a bandage round his head, were playing a board game at a table by the window, with James


seated nearby.

‘And how is my little wounded soldier today?’ she asked softly.

The soldier in question didn’t reply. Instead, he said excitedly, ‘Lizzie, Daisy came to see me!’ He
pointed to the lane outside. ‘She was just there on the grass with Farmer Timmins!’

‘Well!’ she exclaimed. ‘What a surprise! I wonder who told Daisy that you’d hurt your head.’

When she looked up James was observing her with a quizzical smile and he said, ‘I would expect it
was someone who is kind and thoughtful and top of the list of people he likes.’

‘Is that so?’ she replied, not meeting his glance, and went for a swift change of subject. ‘So what
has the surgeon had to say today?’

‘Good progress, he says, and if we promise to see that Jolly doesn’t do any chasing around for a
while when he gets home, he might discharge him at the weekend and refer him to Outpatients.’

‘But can I still sleep with you, Lizzie?’ Pollyanna asked, the memory of the cuddles of the previous
night still fresh in her mind.

‘Well, yes,’ Lizzie said hesitantly, ‘but don’t you think your daddy might want his bed back?’

‘I can sleep in Jolly’s bed,’ James said easily, as if her moving in on a temporary arrangement was
no big deal.

‘Er, well, yes, then,’ she agreed weakly. ‘If that is going to make Pollyanna happy.’

It would make him happy too, James thought, and Jolyon, but he wasn’t sure where he, as the
children’s father, came in her scheme of things. Lizzie’s love for Polly and Jolly was plain to see.
Would he end up as the hanger-on if he asked her to marry him?

Jolyon had been looking through the window wistfully when the cow had appeared only feet away,
and he’d observed it with high delight, while his own first thought had been for Lizzie. She would
have thought of this and he could have wept at the wonder of it.

The farmer and the docile Daisy had stayed there for some time, with all the children in the ward
and their nurses watching as she munched away contentedly on the grass verge of the lane, and
when at last Bryan felt it was time to go he waved goodbye and led his dairy cow back to the
vehicle that he’d brought her in.

Her visit had been the main topic of conversation between the children for the rest of the afternoon
and as James had listened to them he’d wished that Lizzie could have been there to see their
excitement.

He had arranged with Jess that he would take Polly home for her tea and then come back to stay
with Jolyon for the night again. The nanny had gone home just before Lizzie had arrived, so now
there was just the four of them.

‘I’ll stay with Jolyon while you take Pollyanna home,’ Lizzie said, ‘and when you come back I’ll go
to Bracken House again to spend the night with her.’

James was frowning. ‘I can’t help feeling that we are putting you to a lot of inconvenience.’

‘And what else would I be doing at a time like this except helping in any way I can?’ she said
coolly, not pleased that he might be thinking that was how she was seeing her involvement in the
anxious time that he’d been going through.

And upsetting her further, he said, ‘Life has been reasonably free from trauma during the years I’ve
been on my own with the children, but at times like this I feel that they need a mother and maybe it
is time I did something about it.

‘Anna, my sister, filled the gap for them until not so long ago and they were content. When she
married Glenn and went abroad with him I employed Jess and Helen, who are both lovely with the


children, but Jess has her own life to lead away from Bracken House and Helen is elderly, which is
why I never leave the house in the evening until the children are fast asleep.’

As he was about to explain his true feelings, that, no matter what, he would never marry again if the
woman in question didn’t love him as much as his children, Lizzie didn’t let him finish.

Stung by what she saw as a tactless hint that she might fit the bill with regard to his household
arrangements she said dryly, ‘So why not try a mail-order bride or speed dating on the internet?’

He flinched, groaning inwardly at what was turning out to be a poor attempt at trying to gauge her
feelings for him. His timing had been all wrong for one thing, and giving her the false impression
that he only wanted her for the use of, when every time he saw her he was more drawn to
everything about her, was catastrophic. He was falling in love with her but so far she’d given no
sign that she returned his feelings, and he’d been hoping she would open up to him when he’d
explained that marriage was in his mind.

She hadn’t finished. ‘Maybe we’ve both kept faith long enough, James, without any means of
knowing if our respective partners would want that of us. I’m sure that no one would condemn you
if you felt the need to take a fresh look at your life. I might try a little speed dating myself.’

As if, she thought as he stared at her in disbelief. She was already wishing she could take the words
back and tell him that she had already met a man like no other, who had gently turned her painful,
nightmare thoughts about Richard into just a sad memory, and that now she was ready for a fresh
start with him and his beautiful children. But James had just made it clear that he didn’t see her in
that way, and if it had to be as just friends then that was what it would have to be.

He took Pollyanna’s hand, kissed Jolyon lightly on his bruised cheek and without any further
comment in her direction nodded briefly and departed.

James was back within the hour and found Jolyon having his tea with Lizzie watching over him,
and the leaden weight that was his heart became even heavier at the sight.

He’d had time to think on the way back from taking Polly home and had decided that a formal
apology without any further explanations or misunderstandings was needed, and was hoping that
then they might get back to the no-strings-attached arrangement of before.

On the return journey he’d bought her flowers, a beautiful arrangement of white orchids and pink
roses to show how much his apology was meant.

When she got up to go he went out into the corridor with her and said, ‘I’ll walk you to your car,
Lizzie.’

She shrugged slender shoulders inside the uniform that she hadn’t had time to change and said with
the same coolness as before, ‘Please yourself. Why don’t you stay with Jolyon?’

His glance went to his son, who was happily munching away. ‘He’ll be all right for a few
moments.’

When they were outside in the car park he turned to her and said, ‘I’m sorry for being an insensitive
clod before. If you’d let me finish you might have thought better of me.’ He took the flowers from
the back seat of his car and placed them in her arms. ‘I also meant to apologise for being so
downbeat about the birthing pool. I think it’s great that Lord Derringham is on board and you have
my full support, too. Whatever you think of me, I can’t manage without you, Lizzie. Can’t we at
least be friends again?’

She was melting with love for him. How could she ignore his plea? She said softly, ‘We’ll always
be that James, if nothing else. Go back to your son and I’ll go and see to your daughter.’

Reaching up, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. Keeping his hands tightly by his sides, he resisted
the opportunity to extend the moment into something more meaningful and went back to where
Jolyon was waiting for him.


Jolyon was discharged on the Saturday, as had been half promised the first time the surgeon had
seen him after the surgery, and when the car pulled up in front of Bracken House with James and his
son inside, Pollyanna and Lizzie were waiting at the gate to welcome them.

The last few days had been uneventful, with James at the hospital, Jess taking Pollyanna there later
in the day and James bringing her home when Lizzie arrived to be with Jolyon. But now it was
going to be as it had been before, with Lizzie at her own place and the three of them in Bracken
House, unless something unforeseen happened, and James wasn’t looking forward to seeing so little
of her from then on.

They were back on amicable terms but keeping their distance and he almost broke that rule when he
saw the blue shoes in Pollyanna’s bedroom.

He was going round the bedrooms and bathrooms, collecting the laundry after they’d all had lunch
together, and he called across the landing to Lizzie, ‘You shouldn’t have let Polly have the shoes. I
can tell they weren’t cheap.’

‘A promise is a promise,’ she told him, the memory surfacing of their brief, angry exchange of
words at the hospital a few days back. They had made peace when James had given her the flowers,
but it hadn’t been the same between them.

There were words unspoken that should be said, she thought wistfully, but neither wanted to hurt
the other any more, and so they were communicating, but only on the surface.

Pollyanna was tearful when Lizzie was ready to go home and she said comfortingly, ‘When Jolyon
is really better, maybe the two of you can come and stay the night at my house if your daddy agrees.
Would you like that?’

‘Yes,’ they chorused. ‘Can’t he come too?’

‘I’m not sure,’ she said quickly before James could get a word in, and making a joke of it. ‘He is
very big and the cottage is very small.’

And that puts me in my place, James thought as he listened to the discussion. Am I ever going to be
forgiven for giving Lizzie the impression that I only see her as a mother figure for my family, when
I can’t sleep for thinking about what it would be like to make love to her?

The twins were observing him expectantly as they waited for his reply to what Lizzie had
suggested, and as if he wasn’t feeling that her cottage wasn’t that small he said easily, ‘Yes, of
course you can go. You’ll have great fun with Lizzie and I wouldn’t say no to some time on my
own.’ That having been decided, Lizzie picked up her small overnight bag and went home.

Sunday was a nothing day. She did her chores, sat around thinking about James and the way she’d
avoided any further closeness with him, and as an early October evening presented itself she turned
her thoughts to Monday morning at the clinic.

She expected that Sarah would be in a more cheerful state of mind when she arrived as she’d
managed to locate the absent Sam back at base from manoeuvres and he’d been thrilled about the
baby after the first shock had worn off. He would be home soon and the wedding arrangements
were moving along with speed to avoid his young bride showing signs of the impending event on
her great day.

Emma was due for a check-up first thing before the tea rooms opened, and Simon was coming with
her as he was keen to be involved every step of the way after their hopes being shattered years ago
when she’d miscarried for no apparent reason.

They arrived at the appointed time, Emma looking pale and apprehensive and Simon hovering
protectively by her side. Her first words when asked how she was feeling were, ‘Awful! I can’t keep
anything down. I feel so sick all the time.’

Lizzie nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m afraid morning sickness affects many women during


pregnancy, but it usually lessens as the months go by, Emma. Try eating smaller, more frequent
meals, and ginger biscuits and ginger tea help to take the nausea away for some women.’

She had Emma’s file opened in front of her and said with a smile, ‘How about some good news to
cheer you up?’

‘Yes, please,’ said her wilting patient. ‘What is it?’

‘I have the results of the tests in front of me that I did when you came the first time, and they are all
satisfactory.’

‘What were they for?’ Simon asked.

‘A blood test to check for anaemia or rhesus antibodies was satisfactory, and the blood and urine
checks I did for diabetes were also clear. So apart from the morning sickness, you are starting off
with a clean slate.’

‘Let’s hope that it stays that way,’ Simon said, taking his wife’s hand in his. ‘Do you think Emma
should give up in the tea rooms altogether until the baby is born?’

‘Maybe for these first months while she has the nausea and there is the greater risk of miscarrying it
would be a good idea, but once the sickness has abated and the tests are still showing clear, there
will be no reason for her to coddle herself. Just don’t overdo it, that’s all. Now, I’m going to check
your blood pressure, Emma.’

When she’d done that Lizzie said, ‘At this moment you are fine, so go home and stop worrying.
Remember, thanks to Lord Derringham, I’m only a matter of yards away if you have any problems.’

As they got up to go Emma said to Simon, ‘Do you have a recipe for home-made ginger biscuits in
your big cook book? And what was the other thing, Lizzie, ginger tea?’

He was smiling, relieved that nothing scary had come up during their visit to the clinic, and
promised, ‘If I haven’t, I can soon get them.’

James was back on duty at the surgery, having left Jess in charge of Jolyon and Pollyanna, and life
was generally returning to normal, with Laurel and David back from their honeymoon looking
bronzed and happy as they took up their respective positions in the surgery once more as nurse and
GP.

They called in at the clinic during the lunch-hour to see what the finished article looked like. They’d
gone on honeymoon before it had been finished and both were impressed with the facilities it was
offering and interested to know that Lady Olivia Derringham was working there on a voluntary
basis twice weekly.

When they’d gone James came in and said, ‘I’ve just been back home to check that all is well with
Jolly and Polly. I’m going to let Jess take her to school tomorrow. She’s happy enough now.’

He was observing her keenly. Lizzie was still staying aloof from him but was pleasant enough, and
he thought that the next time he told her how he felt he would make a better job of it, given the
chance.

She could feel the intensity of his gaze and asked, ‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ he replied calmly, and went back to his consulting room feeling better for having seen
her.

Lizzie kept her promise the following Saturday. The children came for tea and to stay the night.
James brought them in the late afternoon and then went home feeling strangely lost.

He wasn’t used to having time on his hands like this, he thought. It would have been a good
opportunity to have asked Elaine to go over the accounts with him, but he wasn’t in the mood for
that sort of thing and decided that he would take some exercise, walk up to the moors above the


village and back.

The warm colours of autumn were already disappearing he saw as he left the outskirts of the village
and the leaves were falling. Soon it would be November 5th and he would do as he’d always done
since the children were small, take them to the bonfire on the village green.

It was a special event that everyone who was mobile attended, with the Women’s Institute providing
hot soup, parkin and treacle toffee in abundance, and this time he was hoping that Lizzie would be
with them. The fact that he might be the reason if she wasn’t was something he wasn’t going to
contemplate.

He hadn’t been sleeping well since she’d slept in his bed and appeared before him in the flimsy
nightdress that she’d been in a rush to cover up. His thoughts and desires were making him restless
and he had to keep telling himself to get her out of his mind.

She’d made it clear that she wasn’t in the market for being a wife of convenience, much as she
loved his children, and he had yet to find the right moment to tell her that was far from what he
wanted.

He wanted a wife of warm flesh and blood, wanted to give her a child, their child, to make up for
the one she’d lost, but he wasn’t making much progress towards that end.

It was dark when he got back to Willowmere and as he passed the peace garden and approached the
cottage, he smiled at the thought that all those he cherished were sleeping inside.

Lizzie had made them a special fairy tea of tiny sandwiches and cakes with lots of crisps and ice
cream, and afterwards the highlight of the occasion had been when Bryan had let them watch the
cows being milked in the sheds at the far end of the field at the back of the cottage.

It was lovely having the children, she thought as they settled down to sleep, one on either side of
her, but she’d made James feel he wasn’t welcome, which was unforgivable as without him nothing
made sense. It would have served her right if he’d refused to let them come, and she wondered what
he was doing.

Probably having a well-earned rest, she thought wryly, and no one could blame him for that! James
must have little time for himself yet she’d never heard him complain. He’d achieved a degree of
contentment that she’d never found, but he had the children to give his life purpose and that must
have made all the difference.

The white orchids and roses he’d given her were still fresh and beautiful on her dressing table and
she wanted them to last for ever as something to hold on to in the confusion of her feelings for the
father of the two innocents beside her.

On Sunday morning Lizzie eased herself carefully out of the bed and went downstairs to make a
cup of tea before setting the table for breakfast.

As she sat sipping it in the silence she had a sudden yearning to hear James’s voice and picked up
the phone, even though it was only half past six.

He answered it immediately and when she spoke he said, ‘What’s wrong, Lizzie? It’s not Jolly, is
it?’

‘No. Nothing like that,’ she told him. ‘The children are still asleep and I thought I’d report to base
that all is well at camp Carmichael.’

‘Right,’ he said whimsically, and she could tell he was smiling. ‘You do know that it’s only half past
six, I take it.’

She was contrite. ‘I’m sorry. Were you still asleep?’

‘Er…no. I surfaced some time ago.’


He could have told her that he’d been longing to hear her voice after a strange night without Polly
and Jolly in the house, and that she was the only person he had ever trusted to have his children
overnight. As if she’d read his mind, Lizzie was on the phone, assuring him that all was well.

‘They are still asleep,’ she assured him once more, ‘and as it is Sunday there’s no rush, is there? I’ll
bring them back in the middle of the morning.’

‘There is no need for you to do that. I’ll come for them, and thanks for having them, Lizzie.’

‘It is I who should thank you,’ she told him soberly.

‘Whatever you say, but don’t forget that I’m taking you out for the evening some time soon as a
thank-you for being there for both of them when Jolyon had the accident in the playground. In fact,
why don’t we arrange it now? A weeknight would suit me best as Helen sleeps in during the week
and will be there to keep an eye on the children while I’m out.’

‘Any evening is all right for me,’ she informed him.

‘I rarely go out after a day at the clinic, unless it’s to walk to the beautiful lake near David and
Laurel’s house.’

‘How about Wednesday then? Not too far off. I’ll pick you up about eightish. The children will be
fast asleep by then and we’ll go for a nice meal somewhere.’

There was silence at the other end of the line and he sensed her indecision as clearly as if she was
standing next to him.

‘Yes, all right,’ she agreed at last. ‘That would be very nice. I hear voices upstairs, do you want a
word?’

‘If they’re awake, yes,’ he said evenly, as if he hadn’t just had his enthusiasm lessened for them
spending some time together in more intimate surroundings than their usual ones.

She could hear small feet on the cottage’s narrow staircase and called, ‘Your daddy is on the phone,
children, and wants to talk to you.’As she went into the kitchen to start preparing their breakfast she
could hear them telling James in excited voices how they’d been to see Daisy being milked, and she
hoped he was suitably impressed.

Pollyanna and Jolyon had gone. James had picked them up as promised and the empty silence that
usually hung over the cottage prevailed once more.

He’d given her a questioning look when he’d arrived and she’d presumed it was because of her lack
of eagerness to be alone with him away from their everyday life, but under their present
circumstances she could hardly explain that it was uncertainty rather than reluctance that had been
the cause of it.

But it wasn’t stopping her from deciding that just for once she was going to let him see the Lizzie
Carmichael that she used to be in the days when she’d loved and been loved in return.


CHAPTER NINE


THE rest of Sunday passed uneventfully for Lizzie. Weatherwise it was a typical October day with a
chill in the air warning that winter was on its way, and with it came Christmas, she thought as she
did her usual Sunday chores.

It would be her first one in Willowmere, and it would be lovely to be on the sidelines of the
children’s excitement. But she didn’t visualise much cause for rejoicing on her own account.
James’s intention to take her out to dine would be out of his usual consideration for anyone that he
felt indebted to, and when the festive season arrived he would have the friends who’d always been
there for him to share it with.

But she’d had a few quiet Christmas times since she’d lost Richard and another one wouldn’t be the
end of the world. At least she would be spending it in the beautiful Cheshire countryside.

A few of her patients were expecting their babies during the festive season and that would be
something to anticipate with pleasure.

When James awoke on Monday morning and went to get the children up, he found Pollyanna
clomping around in the blue shoes and as he smiled at her he thought that Lizzie had the knack of
getting it just right with his children. He wished she would come up with something that was just
right for him, such as responding when the chemistry was there between them. Surely she could feel
it, too?

There were times when she was near that his need of her was so great he had to exercise self-control
or step into the unknown and risk a rebuff. But he had waited a long time to find someone he could
love as much as he’d loved Julie, and could wait longer if he had to, if only Lizzie would give him a
sign that she cared, but so far it wasn’t forthcoming. But there was Wednesday night to look
forward to. Would it bring the answer to his dreams, or be just a friendly meeting of acquaintances?

When she answered the doorbell to him on the night in question James’s spirits took a downward
turn. Lizzie was still in her uniform.

When she saw his expression she said hurriedly, ‘I’m sorry. I was called out to a delivery only
minutes after I came home.’ She stepped back to let him in. ‘Is Natalie Morgan one of your
patients?’

‘Yes. She and her husband have a bed-and-breakfast place halfway up the hill road. So it was
Natalie who called you out.’

‘Mmm, it was. She’d started labour and was panicking now the time had come, wishing she hadn’t
arranged to have the baby at home. As it happened, she didn’t. I had to get the emergency services
out to take her to St Gabriel’s. The baby was in distress and I couldn’t take any chances. Do you
still want to go for the meal? I need to shower and get changed. It will take me at least half an hour.’

‘Go ahead. I’ve booked a table and will ring the restaurant to explain that we’ll be delayed.’ As she
turned towards the stairs, he added, ‘That is, if you’re not too tired after working all day and then
being called out.’

‘No, I’m fine,’she said as a lump came up in her throat. She wasn’t used to being fussed over, but
since coming to Willowmere James had been concerned about her welfare on other occasions too,
and it gave her a warm feeling inside. Even though she expected he would be just as caring for
anyone he thought was in need of it. But if she’d been dropping in her tracks she wouldn’t have
wanted to miss the evening that he’d planned so she climbed the narrow staircase and was under the
shower within seconds.

There was no need to consider what she was going to wear. She’d laid the clothes out on the bed
that morning and when she came downstairs again Lizzie was dressed in semi-eveningwear. A
short, low-cut, strappy black dress with a matching jacket draped over her arm to keep at bay the
chilly night if needed.


The long golden plait had been untwined and her hair hung down in a shining swathe on her
shoulders. As he took in the effect James saw that there was a question in the violet eyes meeting
his and wished he knew what it was so that he could give the right answer. That being so, he said
what he was thinking, which couldn’t possibly be wrong.

‘You look wonderful. Heads will turn when we enter the restaurant.’

He saw her colour rise at the compliment but her reply was flippant.

‘Why, because I’m showing some cleavage? I can’t remember when last I dressed like this.’

‘No, not because of that. It will be because you’ll be the most attractive woman in the place.’

Lizzie didn’t take him up on that. She wanted to calm down now and take the evening in her stride,
but the fact that James approved of her appearance was like balm to her soul.

Tonight she wanted to be a woman that he was happy to be with, not someone the children liked, or
the midwife who brought babies into the world, but an attractive and interesting companion, and so
far she seemed to have got it right.

A little later, as he watched her sparkle like the wine in their glasses James thought he was out of
practice at this sort of thing, and so was Lizzie if he wasn’t mistaken.

Their social and sex lives had been on hold for a long time because of circumstances they’d had no
control over, and the last time he’d taken flowers to Julie’s grave in its quiet corner of the
churchyard he’d felt as if she was smiling down on him in gentle approval.

But there was nothing to say that Lizzie was feeling the same way. It didn’t mean that because he
was ready to accept closure she felt the same. Her gaze was on him over the top of her wineglass
and the sparkle was dimming into uncertainty.

‘Why so serious?’ she asked.

She almost dropped the glass when he said gravely, ‘Have you ever slept with anyone else since
your husband died?’

‘No,’ she croaked. ‘I’ve never wanted to. Have you?’

‘No, for the same reason, I’ve thought of it once or twice but that was as far as it went.’

‘And?’ she questioned warily.

He was smiling. ‘I’ve sometimes thought I was crazy, but I don’t any more.’ The food they’d
ordered arrived at that moment, so talking was replaced by eating, and when it could have been
resumed during a lull between courses there was silence between them until James asked casually,
‘Will you be staying in the village over Christmas?’

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I have nowhere else that I would wish to be.’ Except near you, she thought, but said
instead, ‘I would imagine that Willowmere is quite something then.’

‘It is indeed. You will see for yourself when the time comes. We’re having a big party at Bracken
House in Christmas week so that we can all be together, Helen, Jess, Georgina and Ben, with little
Arran this time, and David and Laurel also with us for the first time. I’m still waiting to hear from
Anna and Glenn if they’re going to be home for Christmas. If they can’t be with us, it will not be
the same.’

‘It sounds lovely,’ she said in a tone just as casual as the one he’d used.

‘So do you think you might stop by?’ he asked. ‘The children will want to show you what Santa has
brought.’

‘Yes, if I’m invited. I wouldn’t want to intrude.’

It wouldn’t be the first Christmas she’d spent alone. At St Gabriel’s she’d always offered to work so


that staff with families could be with them.

It went without saying that babies ready to leave the womb were no respecters of holiday times, so
someone had to be there to welcome them when they decided to put in an appearance. Even here in
Willowmere there might be a birth on Christmas Day or thereabouts.

‘Of course you are invited,’ he said stiffly, and because she’d been so downbeat about it added
perversely, ‘The more the merrier. I know two small mortals who will be most disappointed if
you’re not there.’

‘And that’s it?’

‘No, of course not! I’ll be disappointed too, Lizzie.’

‘Then I’d better be there, hadn’t I?’

‘Yes,’ he said steadily, ‘you had, but Christmas is some weeks off. The next event in the village is
the bonfire this coming Saturday. Everyone turns out for that. The Women’s Institute excel
themselves with the food on that occasion and the Scouts and Guides help out, with their leaders in
charge of the fireworks.’

‘Sounds good.’

‘Yes, it is.’ He was beckoning the waiter over to settle the bill and as she waited Lizzie thought what
a strange evening it had been. First the disconcerting question about her sex life, or lack of it, then a
half-hearted invitation to his Christmas party, and lastly he’d been describing the village bonfire in
terms glowing as the fire itself, like a salesman on a front doorstep.

As they got up to go James had a sickening feeling that the evening had not been the success he’d
hoped for, and he was to blame. He’d talked about everything except the feelings close to his heart,
and Lizzie must think he was deranged.

She had no idea how she’d been arousing his senses in the smart black dress that revealed the
smooth skin of her neck and shoulders. He’d seen quite a bit of her on another occasion when she’d
been in his bed, cuddling Pollyanna, but at the time he’d been too harassed over Jolyon’s accident
and Polly’s distress to take note. However, it had registered in his subconscious.

But tonight it was different. He’d been keen to be alone with her and what had he done? Started off
by asking Lizzie about her sex life, like some interfering therapist.

Then just as they had been finishing the meal he’d started to eulogise about the bonfire as if Lizzie
would never have seen a pile of wood burning brightly on a November night, when all the time
what he should have been doing was telling her how much he wanted her in his life…for always.

There was silence between them again as he drove them back to the village and James thought if
she asked him in it would be surprising, yet surprising it was.

‘Do you want to come in for a coffee?’ she asked, standing in the open door of the cottage.

‘No,’ he replied abruptly, and she stepped back as if he’d struck her, ‘but I’ll come in for this.’
Stepping over the threshold, he took her in his arms and kissed her brow, her lips and the hollow of
her throat until she was clinging to him in total abandonment.

‘What was that for?’ she gasped when at last he let her go.

He smiled. ‘It was to make up for the opportunities I’ve missed tonight, and now I’m going before I
carry you upstairs and we let the chemistry between us really take over. Or are you of the opinion
that there isn’t any, that I’m mistaken?’

‘I don’t know what I think,’ she said weakly. ‘My life has changed so much since I came to
Willowmere my mind is in a whirl. The only people who have needed me in the last few years have
been my patients, for obvious reasons, but now it is all changing and, James, I think that I need you


more than you need me. You are surrounded by people who love and respect you, and you must
have been happy enough since you lost your wife or you would have done something about it. Do
you really want to change all that?’


‘What do you mean?’ he said stiffly. ‘Do you honestly think it has been easy? My priorities have
always been my children and the practice. But as you’ve just said, one’s life can change
unexpectedly and then it’s decision time, but it sounds to me as if you’re trying to talk me out of
falling in love with you. That you don’t want to break out of the safe cocoon that you’ve wrapped
around you, and so you’re reminding me of what a good life I’ve got.’


He sighed, running his fingers through his dark hair. ‘Lizzie. It’s us I’m talking about at this
moment. Think about what I’ve said, will you?’ With that he opened the door and went out into the
night.


As the door swung to behind him she leant against it weakly. Why had she got this mania of
wanting to be so sure that James wanted her for herself alone and for no other reason? After the way
he’d kissed her she should have no doubts on that score, and yet she’d ended up by trying to
dissuade him from changing their relationship from friends into lovers.


Now it was her turn to sigh for the complexities of her thoughts as she went slowly up to bed,
knowing there would be little sleep to escape into after what had just happened.


When Olivia Derringham arrived for her Thursday morning voluntary help in the clinic she asked,
‘Are you all right, Lizzie? You look pale.’


She managed a smile. Pale was how she felt, pale and pathetic. The man she’d been drawn to since
their moment of meeting had offered her a glimpse of heaven on earth the night before, and she’d
been dithering like a frightened virgin.


There would be no chance to talk to him alone in the next few days unless she made a big thing of
it, but on Saturday after the bonfire she was going to tell him how much she cared, hoping that he
hadn’t taken her humming and hawing too much to heart. In the meantime there were babies to
weigh and mothers to advise on feeding and teething, and for those who were waiting to be blessed
with a newborn the meticulous checks for such things as rising blood pressure, diabetes and other
complications of pregnancy.


Thankfully, and it wasn’t always the case, it was a smooth run and, when lunchtime came she went
across to the surgery kitchen to make a mug of tea to drink with the sandwich she’d brought.
Hoping at the same time that she might see James.


But as if she’d read her mind, as she was passing the nurses’ room Laurel said that he’d gone on an
urgent visit to someone staying at The Pheasant who’d developed severe chest pains and couldn’t
get his breath.


‘Yes,’ David chipped in from behind her. ‘A couple of elderly walking fanatics are booked in there
for a few days and it sounds as if the old guy has been overdoing it.’ Then he said the same thing
that Helen had said. ‘You look pale, Lizzie. Are you all right?’


‘I’m fine in body,’ she told him, ‘but the mind is a bit cluttered at the moment.’


‘Anything I can help with?’ he asked.


She shook her head. ‘No, thanks just the same, David. It is something I have to sort out myself.’


The man that James had been called out to needed an ambulance with all speed, he decided when he
entered a chintzy bedroom beneath the eaves of The Pheasant. He was gasping for breath,
perspiring heavily, and there was froth on his blue lips.


When James sounded his heart it was beating fast and irregularly and he reached for his mobile and
made the call to the emergency services, thinking as he did so that it had all the signs of a heart
attack except for the frothiness of his lips, which could indicate some kind of poisoning.



The sick man’s wife was waiting anxiously beside the bed and when he’d finished phoning she said,
‘Is it his heart, Doctor?’

‘It could be,’ he said gravely. ‘All the symptoms are there, including the blueness around the mouth,
but I’m not sure about the frothiness. Has your husband eaten anything that could have poisoned his
system this morning?’

There was horror in her expression as she listened to what he was saying and she gasped, ‘We were
up on the tops first thing among the gorse and heather and we saw what looked as if there were
some wildberries still around, and as I’ve often made a fruit tart with them he gathered some and ate
them, even though I warned him that they weren’t growing as close to the ground as they usually
do. So maybe he was mistaken, is that what you’re saying?’

‘It’s possible,’ he said with continuing gravity, ‘and whatever they were may have poisoned him.’

The screeching of a siren announced that the ambulance had arrived, and as he heard them come in
down below he went to the top of the stairs and called, ‘Up here, quickly!’

When they appeared he explained briefly the possibility of poisoning from unidentified wildberries,
and after giving him oxygen to help his breathing and checking his blood pressure, as James had
already done, they carried him quickly to the ambulance and set off in the quiet morning, with his
wife ashen-faced beside him and sirens blaring once more.

James headed back to the surgery, glancing towards Lizzie’s domain as he went to his room, but he
didn’t knock on her door, much as he would have liked to. Every one of the events of the night
before were crystal clear and every time he thought about her, passionate and unresisting in his
arms, he longed to hold her close again, but there was the aftermath of that passion to consider and
he didn’t know how he would cope if he couldn’t have her. She had brightened his life and loved his
children almost as much as he did. Until last night he’d seen the way ahead clearly, but Lizzie’s
hesitancy had shattered the dream and he was going to stay away from her until she was ready to
tell him truthfully what was in her mind.

As she got ready to go to the bonfire on Saturday night Lizzie was wondering if James would be
expecting her to be there after Wednesday night. She’d spent the afternoon in the nearest town,
doing some clothes shopping to take her mind off what she was going to say when she saw him, and
the thought kept recurring that it wasn’t going to be the most romantic setting in which to tell him
that she loved him, with fireworks screeching above, the fire cracking noisily beside them and the
children close by, but for some perverse reason she didn’t care. It would be easier in a public place,
and she wasn’t exactly going to be making the announcement over the loudspeaker system.

Dressing in a warm sweater with a thick jacket over it, and jeans, boots and a woolly hat on her
head, she thought that her attire was very different from Wednesday night’s. She doubted it would
have the same effect on James as that had.

When she stepped out of the cottage into the cold night air there were lots of people about, all
moving in the direction of the playing field in the park that ran alongside the river bank, and she
thought that this was what living in the countryside was all about—a feeling of community, a
common interest.

She loved this place, but she loved the man who had held her in his arms on Wednesday night more.
She loved his children too, and would count it a rich blessing to be part of their lives. But first she
had to find out if James had really meant the things he’d said the last time they were together.

When she arrived at the bonfire there were so many people there that she had difficulty finding him
and the children. Sarah was there with her fiance, happily looking forward to the wedding that had
been put forward to next Saturday, and she saw Jess in the crowd with her sturdy farmer’s son and
wondered if he would persuade her to emigrate like he wanted to.

A voice behind her in the crowd asked, ‘Are you looking for James?’ When she turned Helen was


there, holding a tray of parkin and smiling her welcome for the woman who she hoped was going to
be the new mistress of Bracken House.

Unaware of the direction of the housekeeper’s thoughts, Lizzie nodded, knowing she wouldn’t be
heard above the noise, and the other woman pointed to the far end of the field and she saw that
James was there with the children on either side of him.

When she was just a few feet away Jolyon saw her and cried, ‘There’s Lizzie.’And when Polly
heard him she let go of James’s hand and came running towards her, with Jolyon following at a
slower pace. As Lizzie took their hands in turn and began to walk towards him, James watched her
gravely.

‘Hello, there,’ he said in the kind of tone he’d used when they’d first met, and her spirits sank as she
thought, Is this how it is going to be, back to square one?

But there was no sign of her inner doubts as she called a casual ‘Hello’ across the intervening space.

‘How long have you been here?’ he asked.

‘Only a matter of minutes,’ she replied as the three of them joined him a safe distance away from
the fire. ‘What a crowd!’

‘There always is,’ he told her. A firework exploded into bright stars high above them. ‘A lot of work
goes into it by the Willowmere Events Committee, and it’s the same at Christmas.’

She didn’t want to be involved in all this small talk, Lizzie was thinking. She wanted to talk about
them, and as the numbers increased of those around the fire she was deciding that it hadn’t been a
good idea to contemplate telling James that she loved him on an occasion such as this.

They could have talked at Bracken House or the cottage, but she’d wanted it to be on neutral
ground, and as she looked around her she thought it couldn’t be more neutral than this.

As the children watched the spectacle goggle-eyed, James said in a low voice, ‘So why are you
here, Lizzie? Is it to finish your downbeat comments of the other night?’

‘No,’ she told him quietly. ‘As far as I’m concerned, what I have to say is as upbeat as it can get.’
Her gaze locked with his, and she said, with eyes melting with love for him, ‘I’ve come to tell
you…’

Her voice trailed away as above the noise of the bonfire a voice cried, ‘James! Surprise! Surprise!
We’re back!’A woman who’d been pushing her way through the crowd, with a man who was
deeply tanned by her side, flung herself into James’s arms, while Polly and Jolly clung to her skirts,
crying excitedly, ‘Anna!’

Aware of how much joy the moment was bringing, and that James had forgotten she was there in
that moment of reunion, Lizzie stepped back into the shadow of the bushes, and as the cries of
delight continued to ring out she slipped away, deciding that such moments were to be treasured by
the family concerned without strangers hanging around.

She saw Helen again as she was leaving, talking to Jess and her boyfriend, and stopped to inform
them that Anna was home from Africa, then went on her way with their delighted cries ringing in
her ears too. She felt more alone than she’d ever been in her life before.

It had been a repetition of that time in the hospital when she’d been feeling secure in James’s need
of her and Helen and Jess had arrived and unwittingly brought her back down to earth.

How could she have ever imagined herself as part of that secure, loving family circle that she’d just
witnessed? she thought as she sat in her sitting room, staring into space, with the noise of the
fireworks in the distance. She hadn’t been wrong when she’d told James that he didn’t need her as
much as she needed him.

Lizzie didn’t see anything of James and the children over the rest of the weekend, but didn’t expect


to. They would all have lots to talk about and Anna and Glenn would have to settle in again after
their absence from the place where she and James had been brought up.

The children would be so happy and excited to have their aunt back, she thought, which was only
right as Anna had put her own life on hold to fill the gap that the death of their mother had left in
theirs when they had been only a few weeks old.

From the way she’d greeted them it seemed reasonable to expect that she would want to take up
where she’d left off, the only difference being that her sacrifices hadn’t been in vain. Anna had at
last been reunited with and married the only man she’d ever loved, and it made Lizzie think that
James had only ever loved one person too and probably still did, which made how he’d kissed her,
and what he’d said to her, seem even more like just a moment of madness.

She was wrong in thinking that James wouldn’t notice her absence. As Anna had released him from
her embrace to hold the children close in those moments of homecoming, he’d turned to introduce
Lizzie to the unexpected arrivals and saw that she’d gone.

He’d groaned silently, saying nothing that would take away the joy of their homecoming for his
sister and her husband, but there was the knowledge that Lizzie had been prevented from finishing
what she had to say to him, and that was the last thing he would have wanted to happen as it could
have been the words he’d been longing to hear.

But instead she’d left the scene as if she’d felt like an intruder, and she would never be that. At the
first opportunity he was going to tell her so in no uncertain terms.

He’d waited so long for someone like her to come into his life that he could not afford to lose her,
but for the present there was Anna bubbling over with happiness to be back, with Glenn watching
over her adoringly, and for a little while he was going to put his own affairs on the back burner until
the right moment occurred. He was determined to make sure it wasn’t long in coming.


CHAPTER TEN


DAVID TRELAWNEY’S new wife, Laurel, had come into the practice as a temporary nurse on the
arrangement that it might be just until Anna came back. Before she’d married Glenn Hamilton there
had been two nurses at the practice—Beth Jackson, who had been full time, and Anna on part-time
hours because of her involvement with the children.

When she’d gone to work in Africa with Glenn, Gillian had taken her place on a full-time basis, and
shortly afterwards another vacancy had occurred when Beth had left to open a delicatessen in the
village with her husband, and a very successful venture it was turning out to be.

It was then that Laurel, who had previously been a nurse in a big London hospital, had joined the
practice and in the days that followed Anna’s return she was anxious to find out what was going to
happen.

If Anna wanted her job back on a full-time arrangement, which she might, then she, Laurel, would
not be required. Witnessing the other woman’s pleasure in returning to the place where she’d put
down her roots seemed to indicate that job hunting might soon be on the cards for herself, and she
didn’t want that.

She loved the idea of David and herself working in the same place in health care and didn’t want to
have to leave, but told herself she’d known the score when she’d taken the job and would have to
abide by it.

They’d had David’s friend Lizzie Carmichael round one night for supper and had asked her what
she thought was going to happen now that Anna was back, but she’d known no more than they did
about what was going on at Bracken House since Anna’s return. All she could say was that on the
few occasions she’d seen James since his sister’s return, he’d been pleasant enough, but had made
no attempts to speak to her privately.

David was just as anxious as Laurel about her position at the practice after a week of uncertainty
while Anna and Glenn wallowed in the peace of Willowmere after the frenetic pace of their life in
Africa, and when he asked James if he knew what Anna’s plans were, he shook his head.

‘I’ve been giving them time to settle back into our way of life,’ he told him, ‘but over the weekend
am going to have a sorting out. I’m going to offer Glenn a partnership in the practice, and you too,
if you would be interested, David. If Glenn accepts, it will leave Ben Allardyce free to go back to
the paediatric surgery he’s been missing out on while he’s been helping to cover Georgina’s
maternity leave. If Georgina decides to come back to us when her leave is up, I intend to offer her a
partnership too, which should leave the surgery well blessed with doctors.’

‘I’d be delighted to accept your offer,’ David said immediately.

‘Good. But it doesn’t answer your question about what Anna plans to do, does it? As I’ve said, I’m
going to discuss it with her over the weekend and should know where Laurel stands in the scheme
of things by Monday morning, if that is all right with you.’

When David had gone, James thought there was no one more anxious to sort some things out than
he was, but it wasn’t all with regard to the practice.

Since the night of the bonfire he’d seen Lizzie going in and out of the clinic a few times and had
had to restrain himself from stopping her and sorting their lives out on the spot, but he was forcing
himself to wait until the weekend after he’d spoken to Anna and Glenn, and it was not easy.

For one thing, in spite of the excitement of their aunt’s return the children kept asking for Lizzie.
‘Why doesn’t she come to see us any more?’ Jolyon had asked one night when the bedtime story
had been read.

Pollyanna had put in her plea by saying, ‘I love Lizzie.’

Don’t we all? he’d thought achingly every time he imagined how she must have felt when she’d


disappeared from the bonfire. Come another Saturday he was going to find out once and for all if
they had a future together.

It was great to have Glenn and Anna back in Willowmere, but if there was any justice in the world
his future and that of Pollyanna and Jolyon was with Lizzie. He just hoped that when it came to
question time she would have the answer he was praying for.

After breakfast on Saturday the children went upstairs to play and as Anna and Glenn got up from
the table he said, ‘Could I have a word with you folks?’

‘Sure,’ Glenn said, and Anna nodded her agreement.

‘I’ve got a couple of things I want to ask you both,’ he said with a gravity that had them both sitting
down again.

‘First of all, would you be interested in a partnership in the practice, Glenn? You weren’t with us
long before you married Anna and went away, but it was long enough to know that you are an
exceptionally good doctor, as is David Trelawney, the other GP in the practice. I’ve offered him a
partnership too if he wants it and he is keen to accept. So how would you feel about joining us on a
permanent basis as well?’

There was silence for a moment and then Glenn said, ‘I am most interested in your offer, James.’ He
glanced at his wife. ‘And I know that Anna won’t object. She tells me frequently that there is
nowhere else she wants to live except here in Willowmere. So, yes, definitely, I accept your offer.’

‘That’s fantastic!’ James exclaimed. ‘And now it’s your turn, Anna. Do you want your old job
back?’

‘No,’ she said. ‘As you know, James, I can’t have children because of the injuries I received when
Julie and I were in that dreadful accident. So we’re going to adopt a child, or two if they’ll let us,
and I’ll want to be there for them all the time as they get used to new parents and surroundings. I
hope you don’t mind.’

‘Of course I don’t mind!’ he exclaimed. ‘That’s wonderful news.’

‘I know that adoption can be a lengthy procedure but while we’re waiting I will enjoy having some
time to myself, which could mean that I won’t be there for Pollyanna and Jolyon as much as I used
to be, I’m afraid,’ she said apologetically.

‘You don’t need to worry about that at all, and especially if a certain community midwife agrees to
marry me,’ he told her. ‘I’m in love with her, the children love her too, and she loves them. Her
name is Lizzie, short for Elizabeth, Carmichael. She lost her husband three years ago in similar
circumstances to how I lost Julie and thinks that I don’t really need her because I’m so well blessed
with family and friends. So I’ve got to convince her that her place is here at Bracken House with me
as my wife. Wish me luck, will you?’

Anna stared at him in delighted astonishment. ‘That’s the best news I’ve heard in years. How can I
meet this amazing woman who has broken through the James Bartlett barrier? We’re not talking
about the blonde midwife who’s based next door, are we? I haven’t met her yet, but I’ve seen her
coming and going.’

‘Yes, we are,’ he told her, adding with a smile, ‘How many community midwives do you think we
have in Willowmere? Lizzie is the one and only at the moment.’

‘So when are you going to pop the question?’Anna wanted to know.

‘Soon, very soon—today, I hope. She is the only woman I’ve looked at twice since I lost Julie and
I’m in love with her, but first I’ve got to convince her how much I need her. Lizzie thinks that
because I’m surrounded by loving family and friends she’ll be on the fringe of things if she marries
me. She was beside me at the bonfire when you surprised me, and when I turned round to introduce
her to you, she’d gone.


‘She’s had a grim time in her private life over recent years and is wary of relationships for the
wrong reasons, but the first chance I get I’m going round to her cottage to ask her to marry me. So
would you mind keeping an eye on the children for me while I’m there?’

‘Of course we will,’ they chorused, and Glenn said, ‘We’ve got some news for you. We’ve put a
deposit on a house in the village.’

‘Great!’ he cried. ‘Which one?’

‘Mistletoe Cottage, next to the water-mill.’

‘This is going to be a day to remember,’ James said. ‘I’ve got myself two new partners, which
means I can sit back sometimes and spend time with Lizzie if she’ll have me, and you folks are
putting down some fresh roots in Willowmere in that delightful cottage. This is simply wonderful.’

By the late afternoon James was beginning to feel that things weren’t quite so wonderful. Every
time he’d been round to Lizzie’s she hadn’t been there, and he kept telling himself that if he’d had
any sense he should have let her know he was coming. It was a form of arrogance to expect her to
be there just because he’d decided to honour her with his presence.

He was turning away on his last abortive visit when he heard a faint cry and stopped in his tracks. It
came again and his blood ran cold. The door was locked. He’d tried it a few times and was going to
look a fool if he broke it down and then found that the calls for help were coming from somewhere
else.

But he wasn’t taking any chances, he decided. He’d lost one woman he adored and now the kind
fates had brought Lizzie into his life. He wasn’t going to lose her too if he could help it, and as the
cry for help came again he put his shoulder to the door.

Lizzie was lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the narrow staircase and the scene in front of
him told its own story. She’d fallen down it.

Her face was twisted with pain and streaked with tears as she cried his name in blessed relief. ‘How
long have you been here?’ he asked gently as he knelt beside her in the confined space.

‘For hours,’ she sobbed. ‘I tripped over the hem of my robe as I was coming downstairs what seems
like a lifetime ago, and I can’t get up, James.

‘I knocked myself out and when I came to couldn’t move because I think I’ve fractured my hip. I’ve
kept drifting off with the pain and then coming back to reality again, and it happened that this time I
heard you knocking and ringing the bell. Have you been before?’

‘Have I been before?’ he repeated gently. ‘Yes, I have, my darling. I’ve been going crazy, desperate
to talk to you but without success, and all the time you were lying here.’

Even as he was speaking he was ringing the emergency services and while he asked for an
ambulance Lizzie lay white-faced and tear-stained beside him.

His was the name she’d called every time she’d come to. He was the only one she would ever want
during good times or bad, and she said weakly, ‘I knew you would come.’

He groaned. ‘It took me long enough, didn’t it?’

‘You must have come before when I was out of it.’

‘Possibly, but thank God I’ve found you.’

He’d placed his jacket over her when he’d found her but even so she was shivering from shock and
he said quickly, ‘Is there a hot-water bottle anywhere in this place?’

‘Yes, in the bathroom.’

He looked down at her with all the love in the world in his eyes and said, ‘Don’t move an inch
while I’m getting it.’


‘I won’t. I can’t,’ she told him, and he went up the offending stairs like a bullet out of a gun.

When he placed it in her arms she managed a pale smile and said, ‘You are so good at taking care of
me.’

‘I want to do it permanently. That is what I’ve kept coming round to tell you. Will you let me?’

‘Even if I end up walking with a stick?’

‘Even if you end up walking with two sticks. Will you marry me, Elizabeth Carmichael? My
children and I love you so much. Polly and Jolly keep asking for you. We want you in our lives for
always.’

‘Do you really?’ she said on a sob. ‘Then I’d better say yes, hadn’t I?’

He could hear the ambulance coming up the road and he kissed her tear-stained cheek. ‘Yes, you
had better say yes, and it will be the sweetest sound I ever heard.’

He phoned Bracken House while the ambulance was on its way to St Gabriel’s to let Anna and
Glenn know what was happening and warned them that it could be some time before he came back.
They were horrified to hear what had happened and Anna said, ‘Just do what you have to do, look
after Lizzie.’

‘I will,’ he promised grimly as he held her hand in the ambulance.

It had been nerve-racking, trying to move her out of the small space at the bottom of the stairs
without causing further damage to her hip, but the paramedics were skilled in such situations and
now she was lying on her good side in the ambulance, with him watching over her like a guardian
angel.

An X-ray showed a fracture of the neck of the femur and that luckily the bone ends hadn’t become
impacted in the fall. An operation would be necessary to realign them and until it was performed the
pain would persist and she wouldn’t be able to walk. But once it had been satisfactorily
accomplished she should soon become mobile again.

The deep cut on her head from when she’d hit the floor in the hall had been stitched, and no
bleeding inside the skull had shown up, as it had with Jolyon, so the damage to her femur was the
main problem.

As they were taking her to Theatre she said drowsily, ‘Go home to the children, James. I’ll ask them
to let you know when it’s over and I’m in the high dependency ward, or wherever else they decide
to put me.’

He shook his head. ‘Polly and Jolly will be fine. They’re with Anna and Glenn, who are most sorry
to hear what has happened. I’m not budging, Lizzie.’And with his voice deepening, he went on,
‘Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be proposing to you while you were in a heap at
the bottom of those stupid stairs, but I got the answer I was longing for. So I want to ask you now,
my darling, how would you like a Christmas wedding?’

‘Mmm,’ she murmured as they wheeled her into Theatre, and as the doors closed behind her James
thought wretchedly that this was a repeat of the awful moment when Jolly had been hurt. He
couldn’t wait for the four of them to be together in more tranquil times.

Surgery on Lizzie’s broken hip had gone smoothly, the orthopaedic surgeon who had operated told
James when he came to see him afterwards. He confirmed that the bone ends at the neck of the
femur had been realigned and metal screws inserted to keep them in position. In a few days’ time
she would be able to walk without pain and return to normal living.

‘I was surprised to see Lizzie Carmichael on the table,’ he said. ‘I knew her when she worked here.
What connection does she have with you?’

‘We’re going to be married,’ James told him.


‘Really! You must have something special to have captured Lizzie. There were a few guys here who
tried to get to know her but she was never interested.’

‘I consider myself very fortunate.’

‘Yes, I’m sure you do, but we’re not going to let you have her back too soon. She was lying injured
for a long time and we’ll be watching for the effects of shock for a couple of days, as well as
making sure she’s mobile before we discharge her. If you want to be there for her when she comes
round, they’ve taken her to the recovery unit.’

If he wanted to be there for her! James thought as he strode off in that direction. That was all he was
ever going to want, to be there for Lizzie…and his children.

When she came round from the anaesthetic and saw him sitting beside the bed, holding her hand,
she said weakly, ‘Break it to me gently. What is it to be, James? One stick or two?’

‘Neither, from what I can gather,’ he told her gently. ‘You might need some support for a little while
but nothing permanent, and when they discharge you, you’re coming to Bracken House where you
can be looked after properly.’

‘I thought we weren’t supposed to see each other before the wedding, that it’s bad luck?’

He was smiling down at her. ‘All our bad luck is going to be a thing of the past from now on, you’ll
see.’

She managed a smile of her own and as a nurse appeared at the bedside, about to suggest that he let
the patient get some rest, she said, ‘I think you might just be right about that.’

By the time he’d got to the door she’d drifted off again and as he drove back to Willowmere
through the dark November night the thought of the joy that this particular Christmas was going to
bring took away some of the nightmare that the day had brought.

Lizzie was discharged three days later and as she walked slowly up the drive of Bracken House,
holding on to James, she could scarcely believe that this gracious dwelling was going to be her
home from now on.

During the past three years there’d been the soulless apartment across the way from St Gabriel’s,
and here in Willowmere the small cottage with the narrow staircase that had been her undoing.
Neither of them could compare even remotely with Bracken House, and to live there with James
and the children would be bliss.

But first Pollyanna and Jolyon had to be told what the new arrangement was going to be, and the
last thing she wanted was for them to be made to feel insecure because of it.

They knew she loved them and they loved her in return, but not yet as someone who would very
soon be sleeping in the same bed as their father. Until they were married she was going to occupy
the bed in the spare room next to theirs, and she and James had decided that when the twins came
home from school they would tell them about her coming to live with them and the changes that
would be taking place at Christmas time.

Helen had made lunch for the two of them and was beaming at them as she observed how James
was looking at Lizzie. She would have a perm for the wedding, she decided happily…and a new
hat…

Anna and Glenn were nowhere to be seen. They’d moved into rented property at the other end of
the village until the purchase of Mistletoe Cottage was completed, so as to give Lizzie space during
her first weeks at Bracken House, but it wasn’t stopping Anna from being eager to make friends
with the woman who had brought her brother out from behind the defences he’d erected since
losing Julie.

Jess tactfully disappeared when she’d brought the children home from school, and when they came


in and saw Lizzie they smiled but didn’t come rushing up to her as they usually did, and she found
herself tensing. Had she been taking too much for granted? she thought.

Jolyon spoke the first. ‘Which is your poorly leg?’ he asked with his usual attention to detail.

‘This one,’ she said softly, pointing to the leg in question.

‘Won’t you be able to play with us any more?’ was Pollyanna’s contribution to the conversation.

‘Of course I will,’she told them. ‘We’ll have lots of fun.’

‘Lizzie is coming to live with us. What do you think about that?’ James said.

‘Is it because we haven’t got a mummy?’ asked the deeper thinker of the two.

‘No,’ Lizzie said before James could answer him. ‘It’s because I love you all and you all love me,
but I’ll be able to do all the things for you that a mummy would do, and you would like that,
wouldn’t you? So am I going to get a kiss?’

‘Yes!’ they cried together, and as they ran towards her James met Lizzie’s gaze above their small
fair heads and the message was there for all time in the eyes looking into his.

I love you all, it said.

Lizzie had been absent from the clinic for a week and during that time one of the practice nurses
who’d been involved with antenatal matters at the surgery before the new clinic had opened had
dealt with patients’ health checks and problems, but there was relief all round when she appeared
once more in her neat blue uniform and with a solitaire diamond ring on her engagement finger.

When she told them the news, there were excited congratulations from all sides and Helen said,
‘I’ve thought all along that you and James were made for each other, but do I take it that you needed
convincing?’

‘Something like that,’ Lizzie told her blithely, with the memory new and precious of how they’d
gone to a jeweller’s in the town and together had chosen the beautiful ring. Every time she looked
down at it on her finger, the wedding they were planning for Christmas Eve couldn’t come quickly
enough.

While she’d waited for James to come for her on that special day there had been a poignant moment
in the midst of her happiness when she’d taken off the wedding ring that Richard had placed on her
finger all that time ago. She would never forget him, just as James would never forget Julie, but
they were both being given a second chance of happiness and Richard would never want to deny
her that.

The news that James Bartlett had succumbed at last, and to the new community midwife of all
people, had gone out on the bush telegraph with all speed after one of the expectant mothers visiting
the clinic had heard the conversation. When they’d heard the news, all the hopefuls had sighed and
wondered what she’d got that they hadn’t!

Anna was to be matron of honour at the wedding, Pollyanna bridesmaid, and Jolyon had dubiously
agreed to be a page boy. Glenn was James’s choice for best man, and the only vacancy amongst
those taking part was someone to give Lizzie away.

When the question arose she told James serenely, ‘I’m the one who’s giving myself to you, no one
else, and shall walk down the aisle to stand beside you at the altar on my own as I’ve been for so
long, and after that I will never be alone again, will I, James?’

‘You can count on that,’ he told her tenderly, and that was how it was going to be.

The day they had both been waiting for had dawned, and when the curtains had been drawn back at
Bracken House there had been cries of delight from everyone. Snow had fallen during the night and
the village lay beneath a smooth white blanket.


When noon came Edwina Crabtree and her friends would send the bells pealing out joyfully over
the village to salute the doctors they all knew as friends. After the wedding, the party at Bracken
House that was usually held earlier in Christmas week was going to take place, and this time it
would be hosted by James and his new wife.

It was all going as planned, and as villagers and guests in the crowded church waited for the bride to
appear, Helen, in one of the front pews, nodded her newly permed locks in satisfaction, and Jess, in
love herself, prayed that one day she might be as happy as the little family that she had been
delighted to serve…

When Lizzie walked down the aisle to the man she loved, beautiful in a flatteringly simple dress of
cream brocade, with a pale fur wrap around her shoulders, she was minus a veil, but in her hair she
wore white orchids and pink roses, and was carrying a bouquet of the same flowers as a reminder of
the day when James had given her the same kind of delicate blooms.

For the groom and his bride it was as if their worlds had righted themselves, and with the small
bridesmaid and page boy happily watching they made their vows with the church bells pealing out
joyously over the village.

It was evening and the guests were arriving for the party. Caterers had been hired to prepare a
buffet. A giant spruce with bright baubles and coloured lights dominated one corner of the sitting
room, and beside it Lizzie and James held hands with the children on either side of them.

He bent and whispered in her ear, ‘I love you.’

She gazed up at him with happy tears sparkling on her lashes and told him, ‘I love you too, James,
so very much.’

Everyone came to wish the newlyweds well. Anna and Glenn were there, happy to be home and
delighted that James had found someone to love as much as he’d loved Julie. Helen and Jess were
also beaming their approval, and Georgina and Ben had just arrived with baby Arran in his father’s
arms. David and Laurel had come with Elaine her aunt, who was practice manager, and next to
them were Beth and her husband, away from the deli for a few hours. Gillian the practice nurse had
brought her husband, Lord Derringham’s estate manager, and last but not least by any means came
the Derringhams themselves. It was as if the whole of Willowmere was there to share in the
happiness of the Bartlett family.

Later, much later, when the children were fast sleep and the guests had gone, Lizzie lay in her new
husband’s arms in the bed that she’d once shared with Pollyanna and said dreamily, ‘Do you think
we might have a baby of our own one day, James?’

‘I think that could be arranged,’ he said softly. ‘A baby for the midwife who has brought so many
into the world, and the doctor who would love to see her holding a child of her own in her arms.’

‘And a brother or sister for the two adorable children that they love so much already,’ she reminded
him.

‘But of course,’ he said. ‘That goes without saying.’