KidsontheDoorstepRenee closed the door and paced her small living room
She twisted her hands in agitation, not quite sure what she’d hoped would happen
just now, but definitely disappointed that nothing at all had happened.
Yet the very fact that she’d looked into his eyes and felt a tingle zing from
her stomach to her feminine parts made her extremely wary. She wasn’t supposed
to be attracted to John Murphy. The man had complicated her life in a way that
should make him Public Enemy #1 in her eyes, but she was slowly seeing him in a
different light.
And that was not good. Better to keep the battle lines firmly drawn. They were
not on the same side. They were simply being civil to one another for the sake
of the kids.
Dear Reader,
Somehow we expect mothers to always know what the right decision is, and when
they fail—as most humans are wont to do—we judge them harshly. Since becoming a
mother myself I’ve discovered that we learn as we go and sometimes the lessons
are painful and the learning curve steep.
Renee Dolling is a woman who in the past has made some serious mistakes that
have affected her children in a detrimental way. Making amends isn’t as easy as
saying “I’m sorry,” and gaining forgiveness is nearly impossible when you can’t
forgive yourself. That’s where Renee is when she meets John Murphy, a reclusive
horse trainer who relates better to animals than people.
It’s not love at first sight. In fact, Renee is as approachable as a hissing cat
and John doesn’t feel the need or the desire to find out why she’s so defensive
and prickly. Fortunately, there are three little girls to bring them together
when neither seems amenable to even being civil to one another. Sharing a love
for the girls inevitably opens their eyes to each other and a new future
together.
Hearing from readers is one of my greatest joys (aside from really good
chocolate), so don’t be shy. Feel free to drop me a line at my Web site,
www.kimberlyvanmeter.com, or through snail mail at P.O. Box 2210, Oakdale, CA
95361.
Happy reading,
Kimberly Van Meter
KIDS ON THE DOORSTEP
Kimberly Van Meter
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
An avid reader since before she can remember, Kimberly Van Meter started her
writing career at sixteen when she finished her first novel, typing late nights
and early mornings on her mother’s old portable typewriter. Although that first
novel was nothing short of literary mud, with each successive piece of work her
writing improved to the point of reaching that coveted published status.
Kimberly, now a journalist, and her husband and three kids make their home in
Oakdale. She enjoys writing, reading, photography and drinking hot chocolate by
the windowsill when it rains.
Books by Kimberly Van Meter
HARLEQUIN SUPERROMANCE
1391—THE TRUTH ABOUT FAMILY
1433—FATHER MATERIAL*
1469—RETURN TO EMMETT’S MILL*
1485—A KISS TO REMEMBER*
1513—AN IMPERFECT MATCH*
To the mothers of the world: raising children is the
most important job we as adults will ever have, as
they are our legacy and our future.
To my sister, Kristen, who wears the badge of
motherhood with pride and inspires people to love
without reservation, without judgment, without fear.
She is a mama bear and a wonder to watch in action!
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
EPILOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
JOHN MURPHY HAD JUST STOKED the fire and returned to his well-worn leather chair
with his newspaper in hand when an urgent knock at the front door had him
twisting in surprise.
It was nearly ten o’clock at night and the rain was quickly turning to sleet.
This storm was supposed to hit the California Sierra Nevadas pretty hard by
dumping a load of snow in the high country and plenty of it even in the
foothills, so anyone with any kind of sense knew better than to be out and
about. A bad feeling settled in his gut. There was no one he could imagine who
would venture into this storm without good reason.
“John? It’s me, Gladys.”
The sound of his neighbor’s voice, thin and reedy, alarmed him. It was too late
for house calls of an ordinary nature and Gladys—after going through surgery a
few days prior—should’ve been in bed resting.
He opened the door and Gladys offered him a weak and somewhat pained smile as
she and three little girls were ushered in from the biting cold.
“What the hell is going on?” he asked yet immediately guided Gladys to his
leather chair. “What in the Sam Hill are you doing out in this storm in your
condition? You just had surgery, woman. Are you trying to kill yourself?”
“Don’t yell at her. It’s not her fault,” piped up the middle girl whose short
stack of wild hair was matted to her head. The poor kid looked like a drowned
pixie. She rubbed at her pert nose but stared John down with attitude. “Daddy
didn’t stay long enough to listen that she was sick.”
John ran his hand through his hair. “And you are? And who’s your daddy?”
“We’re the Dollings and I’m Taylor,” the little tyke proclaimed, ignoring the
nervous jostling from her older sister to be quiet. “Who are you?” she asked
without hesitation.
“John Murphy,” he grunted in answer. “And your daddy?”
Gladys broke in with a grimace. “This is Alexis, Taylor and the little one is
Chloe. Oh, John, it’s the most deplorable situation and I didn’t know what to
do. Look at them, the poor chickpeas, they’re practically frozen to the bone and
wearing nothing more than rags. I could throttle that irresponsible boy for
this!”
“Throttle who?” John was growing more perplexed by the moment, but Gladys was
obviously distressed enough without his blustering adding to it so he tried for
patience. “Tell me what’s going on here.”
Gladys compressed her lips to a fine line. “My sister’s grandson, Jason, God
rest her soul that she never saw how badly he turned out, just showed up on my
doorstep with the girls, saying he couldn’t handle it anymore and he needed me
to keep them for a while until he got back on his feet. More likely so that he
can be footloose and fancy-free, is what I think but before I could talk some
sense into him, he was gone.” Her gaze softened as she took in the children’s
forlorn appearance but when she turned to him again, her expression was full of
worry and embarrassment. “I didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to take them to
the authorities. They are my family, even if only distantly.”
The littlest, she couldn’t be more than three he wagered, sneezed and he
realized they were still standing there soaked. He went to the hall closet and
returned with three blankets. Giving one to each girl, he told them to warm up
by the fire while he tried making sense of things with Gladys.
“Start from the beginning,” he instructed in a low voice so as not to scare the
kids. “Where is their father and when is he coming back? Or how about their
mother for that matter? They have to have a mother somewhere.”
“Daddy said Mommy left us,” Taylor answered before Gladys could. John turned
toward Taylor and she continued, bundled in the blanket, despite several
attempts by her older sister to shush her. She glowered at her sister. “Well,
that’s what he said.”
“It’s no one’s business,” the older one said, adding in a low tone, “Especially
no stranger.”
John looked to Gladys. “He split? No number, nothing?”
“Nothing. He barely took time enough to push the girls out of the car with their
bag and then was off again. I tried to stop him but he was too fast for me.”
That last part came out accompanied by a trembling lip and John knew Gladys was
ashamed of her weakened state. Under normal circumstances the older woman was
like a hurricane but the last year had been rough on her and her age was
starting to slow her down. He patted her knee in some semblance of comfort but
he was certainly caught in a bad spot. It was clear Gladys was loath to involve
the authorities but she wasn’t in any shape to care for the kids herself.
John eyed the older girl. “Alexis, right? I take it you’re the oldest?” She
nodded warily. “How old are you?” he asked.
Alexis raised her chin. “I’m nine, almost ten. Taylor is five and Chloe is
three.”
So incredibly young. Essentially abandoned. John was at a loss of what to do.
The closest he’d ever come to babies or children were his nephews and they only
visited on holidays. Frankly, he was about as equipped to deal with these kids
as a dog was to teach a cat how to fetch. But he knew he couldn’t very well toss
them out on their ears. Gladys had come to him for help even though the old girl
was a little addled if she thought he was her best option. The girls stared up
at him, waiting, and he realized he couldn’t just stand there scratching his
head.
“You need to get out of those wet clothes. If you don’t already have pneumonia,
you will by tomorrow,” he grumbled, wondering what he could possibly find to fit
three little girls. “And then, I think we ought to call Sheriff Casey, she’ll
know what to do for you guys.”
“We’re girls,” Taylor corrected him.
“Sorry. My mistake. You girls,” he said, moving to the phone.
Gladys stopped him with a hand on his arm, beseeching him silently as she said,
“I know it’s what we should do but no one says we have to do it this very
second. Let’s wait to make that call. Maybe Jason will be back tomorrow and
everything will work itself out on its own. No sense in dragging in outsiders if
we don’t have to.”
“You sure?” he asked, torn between wanting to make that call and wanting to
reassure Gladys that everything was going to be fine. She nodded and his
shoulders tensed even though he let out a gusty sigh. He turned to the girls.
“Looks like you’re going to bunk here tonight until we get things figured out.
Alexis, I need you to help your sisters get settled in. The little one looks
about ready to fall over, she’s so tired. You been driving all night with your
daddy?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought so. Your great-aunt Gladys is real tired. She’s not feeling good
right now. What say we look at this problem with fresh eyes in the morning?”
“I guess.” Her arm went around the baby protectively. “Where are we gonna
sleep?” she asked after giving the entire room a quick once-over as if assessing
the space herself. “That couch over there is big enough, I s’pose.”
“There’s no need for you girls to curl up on the couch. You can sleep in the
guest bedroom. There’s a bed big enough for the three of you. All right?”
“I seepy, Lexie.” The little one’s mouth stretched in a yawn so big it nearly
knocked her over, then an awful, wet-sounding cough followed that John had a
feeling needed antibiotics to clear up.
“She sick?” He gestured at the little one and Alexis picked up her baby sister
as if to shield her, although as thin as all the girls were it just made the
whole scene more pathetic and worrisome. “That cough doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s just a cough. She’ll be fine,” Alexis said, but there was something in
those blue eyes that told him she was more worried than she wanted to let on and
it made him wonder how long that baby girl had been making those wet, gurgling
sounds in her chest. His gut reaction told him she needed a doctor. And he was
rarely wrong when his instincts started to clang like cowbells. But he didn’t
think it warranted a trip to the emergency so there wasn’t much he could do
about it until morning. He shot Gladys a meaningful look and she gave an
imperceptible nod telling him she knew where his thoughts were going and agreed.
“Time to hit the hay,” he said.
Gladys smiled her gratitude and sank a little farther into his chair as if it
were swallowing her up and he shook his head at the circumstances. He’d always
had a soft spot for lost critters and rehabilitating abused horses was part of
his livelihood, but he never figured his tender side might catch him three lost
little girls. “All right, Gladys, you ought to be in bed, too. You can take the
other guest bedroom.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, but her expression filled with ill-disguised relief.
“I don’t mean to be making trouble.”
He helped her out of the chair. “Who are you kidding, old woman. You’re nothing
but trouble.”
His comment elicited a weak chuckle as she allowed him to walk her down the hall
and into the cold bedroom. He got her settled with a few extra blankets and as
he turned to leave so she could change and climb into bed, her voice stopped him
at the door frame. “Thank you, Johnny. I know this isn’t your idea of a fun
time. Tomorrow, we’ll get out of your hair. I’ll figure something out. It’s not
your problem and I’m sorry for dumping it in your lap. I…panicked a little. I
know I shouldn’t have but, oh, what a mess.”
He nodded but otherwise remained silent. Gladys was the closest thing he had to
a mother. If she had a problem, it was his problem, too. “See you in the
morning, Gladys,” he said and shut the door.
Returning to the living room where the girls remained, color returning to their
cheeks as the fire warmed their frozen little bodies, Alexis ventured forward,
surprising him with her question.
“Mister…” Alexis said hesitantly. “Before we go to bed do you got anything we
could eat? Bread or something?”
“Let me guess…no dinner?”
Alexis gave a short shake of her head but didn’t elaborate. A curse danced
behind his teeth as he picked up clearly what she hadn’t said. Probably missed
more than a few meals here and there judging by the sharp points of their
shoulders. Neglect was a form of abuse, too. He’d saved more animals from the
brink of starvation than he cared to count but seeing the evidence of neglect in
children made his stomach clench with disgust. This was why he kept himself
apart from nearly everyone except for the handful of family he had. On the
whole, most people disappointed and annoyed him. In this case, he went way past
annoyed and straight into pissed off.
“Follow me,” he instructed, his voice gruffer than he intended and he winced
inwardly as he saw the baby flinch, her rail-thin arms clutching at her sister’s
neck. Ah hell…he cursed himself for scaring her. These kids were traumatized to
varying degrees but he could see the baby was particularly jumpy. He needed to
treat them as he would a traumatized horse. Voice calm yet firm. Trying again,
he said, “Let’s see what we can rustle up.”
He walked to the kitchen and flipped the light as he went. Reaching into the
fridge he pulled out the beans and rice that he’d made earlier in the day.
Alexis had set the baby down to come and peer into the pots as he put them on
the stove to reheat. “What’s this?” she asked, her eyes wary.
“Beans and rice. All I got on such short notice. Take it or leave it.”
Chloe scrambled to the table and climbed into the chair despite the fact that it
was way too big for her small frame. The thick oak chair nearly swallowed the
toddler but she didn’t seem to care as she eyed the pots with blatant desire. “I
like beans,” she said.
Taylor joined her sister. “Me, too.”
John looked to Alexis but she was too busy checking out her surroundings. When
she took her tentative spot at the table, he surmised that beans and rice were
okay with her.
He grabbed three bowls, heaped a mound of rice and then dumped a ladleful of
beans on top and handed the girls their dinner.
They shoveled the food into their mouths without reservation and as one bite
cleared the spoon, they were digging in for the next. He wanted to ask when
they’d eaten last but a part of him didn’t want to know. It would just intensify
the burn that was already stoking his temper.
He decided to keep them talking in the hopes that the food would distract them
into divulging some details about their situation. “So, where you girls from?”
“Arizona,” Taylor answered, scooping the last of her beans onto her spoon with
her fingers. She looked to him with her empty bowl, her small tongue snaking out
to lick her lips. “Is there more?”
Alexis looked up from her bowl. “Don’t be a little piglet.”
Taylor shot Alexis a scowl. “I’m no piglet. But I’m still hungry.”
John smiled and took Taylor’s bowl. “There’s plenty more where that came from. I
made extra this time around.”
He handed Taylor her refilled bowl and focused on Alexis who seemed intent on
her supper yet John got the sense that she was covertly taking everything in.
“What’s your mom’s name?” he asked.
Alexis ignored John’s question and, noticing that Chloe had stopped eating,
pushed her bowl away. “We’re tired. Can we go to bed now?”
“Chloe’s not finished with her supper,” he said.
Alexis squared her jaw but remained silent. He wondered what was going through
her head.
Sighing, he decided this battle wasn’t worth fighting. He wasn’t going to get
any answers tonight. He was looking into the face of a child who knew something
about keeping secrets. He hated to think of what the kid was hiding from. “All
right, no more questions. Bedtime.”
The ranch house was plenty big enough for three small, uninvited guests and an
elderly companion but the house rarely had so many people milling around, not
since he and Evan were kids and their mom had once rented the extra rooms out to
help make ends meet.
He gave them each one of his T-shirts to sleep in and after they’d changed in
the adjoining bathroom, they ran to the bed.
Alexis helped Chloe up and Taylor climbed up by herself.
“You need anything else?” he asked gruffly.
“Mister—”
“John,” he corrected Chloe.
“Mr. John, do you have a mommy here?”
“A mommy?”
Alexis clarified. “She means do you have a wife?”
He shook his head. “No. Just me and the horses.”
Taylor, who had already snuggled into the pillows, sat up with a gap-toothed
grin. “Horses?”
“That’s right. This is a horse ranch. I’ve got about ten stabled right now. Why?
You like horses?”
Taylor nodded. “Can I see them tomorrow?”
He didn’t want to make promises. The first order of tomorrow would be to call
the authorities. “We’ll see.”
Clicking off the light, he closed the door but not before catching a glimpse of
Alexis’s face turned to the window, an incredibly sad expression on her young
profile.
He suspected that little girl felt responsible for her sisters but there was
only so much a child could do. It wasn’t right. But it happens. That was
something he knew well. He just hated seeing it because it dredged up a litany
of feelings he’d buried a long time ago. Something about that little girl’s
expression poked and prodded at the tender spot in his heart in the same way an
animal did that everyone else would rather give up on than save.
And to be honest, he didn’t know how he felt about that but he suspected his
quiet life was about to get noisy.
Chloe coughed, the sound worrying him. No matter what else happened tomorrow, at
the very least he was taking that baby to the doctor.
RENEE DOLLING DROVE SLOWLY down the dirt driveway, glancing once again at the
address she’d scratched on a piece of paper before leaving Arizona, and prayed
that Jason’s great-aunt hadn’t moved in the ten-plus years since she’d last seen
the old woman. From what she remembered, Gladys Stemming was a mouthy one
although harmless. But then, Renee had only met her once and who knew what she
was like now.
She’d come here as a last-ditch effort. She’d been to all the usual places Jason
used to frequent in their neck of the woods in Arizona and had come up empty.
Far as Renee knew, Gladys was Jason’s only living relative so it served to
reason, he might’ve taken the kids there before he split. If they weren’t here…
Think positive. You’ve gotten this far, don’t give up now.
She went to the door and knocked, the absolute stillness of the countryside
unnerving her. She knocked again, harder than the first time but the sound just
echoed into the inky dark. She glanced around, noted the absence of a vehicle as
well as any other sign of civilization and fought the wave of despair. She
didn’t even know if this was where Gladys still lived. Okay. Focus. Look for
some kind of sign that she does, Renee instructed herself so she didn’t dissolve
into a puddle of frustrated tears. Walking across the short porch, she peered
into a window and saw the lumps of furniture but nothing that might tell her who
lived there.
She rubbed her arms briskly. She’d forgotten how cold it got here. Stomping her
feet to keep the circulation moving, she caught the shadowed outline of the
mailbox at the end of the driveway. Climbing into the car, she drove to the edge
of the road and pulled open the mailbox to feel inside.
Bingo.
Pulling a stack of mail, she glanced at the address and nearly went weak with
relief. Gladys Stemming. She still lived here. But even as she thumbed through
the hefty stack her elation was short-lived. Apparently, it’d been at least a
week since the mail was picked up, which could mean the old woman hadn’t been
home for a while. Replacing the mail, she chewed her bottom lip. She’d have to
come back tomorrow, maybe go into town and ask around. Somebody was bound to
know where the old woman was and perhaps, if Gladys had them, her children.
Putting the car into drive, she looked down at the bedraggled and ugly stuffed
rabbit that had belonged to Taylor. Renee had found it, abandoned, at their old
house after she’d gotten out of rehab. That was four months ago. She’d been
searching for him and the girls ever since. Renee didn’t much care where Jason
went—heaven help him if she managed to get her hands around his neck for this
latest stunt—but she needed her girls.
Tears pricked her eyes again but she sniffed them back. She was close. She could
feel it.
A fresh flood of anger followed. Damn you, Jason. Where the hell have you taken
my kids?
Renee reluctantly drove away, refusing to believe that her children were far,
that Jason had taken them to a place where she’d never find them. She tried to
ignore the guilt that rose to slap her in the face whenever she let herself
remember that she was the first one to walk out on their children.
It wasn’t her proudest moment but hitting rock bottom usually isn’t. Admitting
to herself she was an alcoholic trapped in a loveless marriage was a tough pill
to swallow, and even as she was committed to sobriety the price had been pretty
steep.
Ten long years of missteps and mistakes with Jason, a man who had less depth
than a cartoon character. It was enough to make her want to hide in shame over
every bad decision she and Jason had put their girls through but she’d vowed
things would be different once she got out of rehab.
Only to find them gone. Renee imagined Jason made the decision to take off
shortly after she told him she wanted a divorce. He’d known this was the best
way to hurt her. And damn, he knew her well.
Every day without her girls felt like knives in her heart.
CHAPTER TWO
THE FOLLOWING MORNING just as he always did, John rose at 5:30 a.m. to start the
day and for a split second, as he set the coffee to percolating and stoked the
coals in the fireplace to a fresh blaze with kindling and a small piece of
seasoned oak, he almost forgot that he wasn’t alone. But when a person had been
a bachelor as long as John there were some things that didn’t slip your notice.
Such as the prickling feeling at the back of your neck when you know someone is
behind you, staring. He turned and found Taylor standing in the archway,
scratching her leg with her toe, her eyes fixed on him.
“Go back to bed. It’s too early.”
“You’re up.” She pointed out as she scrubbed at her pixie nose with her palm,
her gaze wide and expectant.
“I’m a grown-up. You’re still a kid—” practically still in diapers “—and kids
need their rest. Don’t you want to grow up big and strong?”
She thought about it for a second before nodding but then said, “But I can’t
rest if I’m not sleepy. Can you, Mr. John?”
Not really. He didn’t much see the point in lounging in bed if he wasn’t tired,
either. But if he didn’t send her back to bed with her sisters, he’d have to
find something to entertain her with and he didn’t have a clue as to how to
entertain a five-year-old little girl. He eyed her speculatively. “You hungry?”
She nodded eagerly. “Are we having more of them beans?” she chirped as she
followed him into the kitchen. “They were real good. You’re a good cooker, Mr.
John.”
“I don’t know about that, and stop calling me Mr. John. Just John, okay?”
“Okay,” Taylor agreed easily, plopping into the chair she’d taken last night.
“What’s for breakfast, then?”
“Oatmeal.” He caught her expression falter and he added quickly, “Or eggs. Take
your pick.”
“Eggs, please. I like them all mixed up. Do you like them that way? Chloe
doesn’t like eggs so maybe she could have the oatmeal. But me and Lexie like
eggs a lot. Chloe didn’t like the way Daddy made his eggs, she said they tasted
funny. I didn’t think so but sometimes he made her a special kind. Maybe she
didn’t like just his special eggs because when Lexie made eggs she ate ’em right
up. Do you make them special, Mr. John?”
The dizzying speed of the child’s twisting and nearly nonsensical dialogue
almost had John staring in confusion as he tried to decipher even a quarter of
what she’d said but something in that monologue had struck a chord of alarm.
“Special eggs, Taylor?”
“Yeah, sometimes he made Chloe her own eggs but—” Taylor’s little face scrunched
in distaste “—they always made her tummy hurt afterward. Maybe Daddy wasn’t a
very good cooker.”
“Maybe not,” John murmured, though he was starting to feel a little sick to his
stomach himself. “How come your Daddy always made Chloe her own special eggs?”
Taylor shrugged. “I dunno. But Daddy yells at Chloe a lot.”
“Why’s that?”
“He just does.” Taylor’s expression dimmed with sadness and John felt something
in his chest pull. Her voice dropped to a scared whisper. “She gets lots of
spankings.”
Chloe was hardly more than a baby. No one should be raising a hand to her little
body.
John stiffened at the anger pouring through his veins at what he was hearing and
moved to the fridge to grab the eggs. He’d heard enough and by the time he
filled the sheriff’s ear with what he’d learned, there was no way in hell those
kids were going back to that son of a bitch. He offered a smile to the little
tyke even though he was itching to put his fist through the wall, and went
through the motions of cooking up a batch of mixed-up eggs that weren’t special
in any way.
GLADYS DIDN’T LOOK VERY GOOD, John thought as he brought her a cup of coffee.
“You sure you don’t want to go see that doc of yours?” he asked.
She waved away his concern. “I’m fine. Just a little winded is all from the
excitement last night. I just don’t know what to do about those poor babies. I
don’t even know if they’ve been in school or what kind of lives they’ve been
living. I’m just beside myself.”
“What about the mother? Do you know where she might be? Maybe I could place a
few calls.”
Gladys made a look of distaste. “Oh, don’t waste your time with that one. I only
met her once but she never made much of an impression. A little snooty and
standoffish if you ask me and we never really hit it off. Not that I was close
with Jason, mind you, but at least he was family. I’ve known him since he was a
boy. Never had much of a character. Nothing like you and Evan. If you boys had
been anything like Jason your mama would’ve lost the ranch the moment the tax
man had started calling. No…I knew from the time he was a young man he wasn’t
going to amount to much but I’d hoped I was wrong. There’s no satisfaction in
being right in this instance.”
“So you think the mother just took off or something like Jason did?”
Gladys sighed. “I don’t know but what kind of mother would leave her babies
behind? I can only imagine,” she said, her voice catching as the ghost of an old
pain reappeared.
John agreed privately but allowed the quiet to dull the edge of Gladys’s
long-ago loss. Even after all this time Gladys felt the agony of her stillborn
son. He supposed that was a hurt that never truly healed. Not even with decades
of time as a balm.
“So what do we do?”
Gladys looked at him sharply then sighed. “We? Oh, Johnny, this isn’t your
problem. I’ll figure something out.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “You’re in no shape to be tending to three
little kids. And frankly, I don’t care what you say, I think you need to see
your doctor. That surgery might’ve taken more out of you than you realize.”
Gladys was silent for a moment and John had a feeling she was wrestling with her
pride, which was no small thing. She wasn’t accustomed to being dependent on
someone else and it was probably killing her. But it was a temporary thing and
she realized this, too, and finally nodded in agreement.
“You might be right,” she conceded with a sigh. “And I’ve been thinking about
what you said about contacting the authorities. Maybe that’s the best thing to
do. I don’t think Jason or Renee were doing a great job with these girls. Chloe
is most definitely going to need an antibiotic for that cough and something
tells me she’s been sick for a while. The poor baby has no color to speak of.
They ought to have to work to get them back. Maybe it’ll teach them a lesson in
being parents.”
“So you’re saying you’re okay with me calling the sheriff?”
“Yes, on one condition…the children stay together. They need each other.”
“I’ll make the call,” he said, moving to grab the phone. “And then I’m taking
Chloe to the doctor.”
RENEE PULLED TO A STOP and took a cursory glance around the ranch that bordered
Gladys’s property. She’d waited two agonizing days, but by 11 a.m. the third day
Renee figured she ought to start poking around. If Gladys had gone on vacation,
she might’ve left instructions with a neighbor to watch the house for her.
Either way, Renee might get some kind of information that might be useful in
finding Jason and the kids.
She was nearly to the door when a deep voice startled her.
“Didn’t you see the sign?”
Her heart jackhammering in her chest, she stammered a bit as she turned, her
gaze catching the sign he was talking about. Trespassers Will Be Shot. No
Exceptions. She swallowed and got straight to the point. “I’m sorry…I’m looking
for Gladys Stemming but she doesn’t seem to be home and I wondered…”
“What do you want with Gladys?”
She frowned at his tone. “I’m Renee Dolling. Uh, well, she’s my aunt, by
marriage, and I—” Why was she explaining herself to this man? Renee
straightened. “Has she gone on a trip? If so, do you know when she’ll be back?”
“Dolling?” He repeated, a sudden shrewd light entering the hard stare coming at
her from beneath a dusty and worn baseball cap. Little ducktails of dirty blond
hair too long to be fashionable stuck out from under the hat as if to clearly
state he had no time for such niceties as regular haircuts. And his sun-darkened
face had a boyish charm that was completely at odds with the stern expression
pinching his mouth as he said again, “Did you say your name was Dolling?”
“Yes…do I know you?”
“Name’s John Murphy and, no, we’ve never met, but you’ve sure got some
explaining to do.”
“Excuse me?”
“Three days ago your husband dumped your kids with a sixty-seven-year-old woman
and took off without so much as a ‘see you later’ and she’d just had surgery for
a triple bypass but you wouldn’t know that now, would you, because you dumped
your kids before he did.”
“He’s not my husband,” she muttered yet felt heat blooming in her cheeks at his
words. At least he wouldn’t be in a few months. The divorce wasn’t quite final
in the eyes of the courts but as far as she was concerned Jason could take a
long walk off a short pier after the hell he’d put her through. Selfish bastard.
Wait a minute…“Did you just say my husband dropped the girls off with Gladys?”
“I did.”
A relieved smile broke through her annoyance at being interrogated and she
exhaled loudly. “Oh, thank God. Where is she? I’ve been looking for the girls
for months and I’ve been worried sick.”
Her relief was short-lived as the man continued to openly assess her, as if he
were weighing something heavy in his mind, and unease fluttered in her stomach.
“Is there a problem?” she asked stiffly.
“I’d say so.”
“Which is?”
“You don’t have custody any longer.”
Renee’s knees nearly snapped out from under her as she sucked in a pained gasp.
“What?”
“Yesterday afternoon your girls were placed in the protective custody of their
aunt Gladys as a temporary measure until things can be sorted out. No mother, no
father…Gladys was their closest relative. Simple as that.”
“Well, I’m back so that won’t be necessary, now will it?”
“Doesn’t work that way. Courts are involved. Convince them you’ve decided to be
a mom again and then we’ll see. But, can’t say that will be easy. Seems the
courts around here don’t take lightly to parents abandoning their kids.”
She bristled at the thinly veiled disgust behind his seemingly mild statement
and allowed the building anger to hold the panic at bay.
He didn’t have the right to judge her. No one did. “Not that it’s any of your
business but my reasons for leaving my children with their father are my own. I
didn’t know he was going to do what he did. Just point me in the direction of my
children and we’ll get out of your life.”
“I already told you I can’t do that.” He shifted lazily against the fence he was
leaning against, the slow action belying the fierce set of his jaw.
“What?”
“You heard me. The girls are in Gladys’s custody. If you want your kids, you’re
going to have to talk to the court.”
“This is ridiculous,” Renee said, her voice hitting a shrill note. “What the
hell is going on here? Are you telling me that you’re keeping my girls from me?
You’re stealing my children?” Her voice rose to a hysterical pitch on that last
question while her heart beat so hard it felt as if it might burst right out of
her chest. This wasn’t happening. This had to be a bad dream. A horrific,
horrible dream. Total strangers didn’t just get to keep other people’s kids. It
just didn’t happen.
“No. The way I see it, three little girls were abandoned by their no-account
parents and the law stepped in to protect them. If that’s not the way you see
it, then you need to prove otherwise to the judge. Until then, get off my
property.”
CHAPTER THREE
JOHN WATCHED AS THE BLONDE marched over to her car. She shot him one last
burning look filled with animosity but he didn’t care. Something Taylor had said
was still sticking in his mind in a terrible way. Was it possible that their
father had put something bad into the baby’s eggs? And if so, did the mom know
about it? He watched as the woman, Renee, climbed into her car and slammed the
door. No doubt she was wishing his head were caught between the door and the
chassis. She sat in her car glaring at him, clearly debating her next move.
The front door opened and Gladys appeared with the children flocked around her,
each bundled in an odd assortment of secondhand clothes that looked old enough
to earn a spot in a museum somewhere, and John knew that any chance of a
peaceful resolution was over.
“Lexie?” The woman had jumped from the car and was now running toward the girls
until John blocked her path with a warning that she didn’t heed. “Get out of my
way,” she said in a low growl. “Those are my girls and you’re not going to stop
me from at least seeing them!”
John turned to Gladys, who was watching the scene with alarm, and instructed the
older woman to go back inside with the kids.
“Those are my kids! You can’t keep me from them. I have a right to see them. Let
me go or you and I will have major problems that go way beyond your manners and
rude disposition. Do you hear me?”
“I hear you just fine. Now you listen to me. I don’t know you from Adam but I do
know you’re not going anywhere near those girls until we get things sorted out.
They’ve been through plenty without you traipsing into their lives acting like
you’re here to pick up lost luggage after a long plane ride.”
She paled and her bottom lip actually trembled slightly but John wasn’t swayed.
Where had she been when her girls were going without food? When Chloe got sick
and had no one to take her to the doctor? Those little girls needed someone to
champion them and right now, he was it.
“You don’t know anything about my life.”
“About that you’re right and, woman, I don’t care to know. You walked out on
your kids. Their daddy walked out on them. I didn’t ask for this but it landed
in my lap just the same and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let those girls go to
the first ditzy broad who comes my way saying she wants her babies back.” She
gasped and he gave her arm a little shove as he released her. “Now, the best
thing you can do right this minute is to get off my property before I have you
arrested for trespassing.”
Tears welled in her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. Rubbing at her arm where
he’d kept a firm grip, she sent him a scathing look and promised to return with
the authorities.
“You can’t just keep someone’s kids like you would a stray puppy! They’re mine
and you can’t—”
“Yack, yack, yack. You do what you feel is necessary. Until then, get lost.”
RENEE DROVE LIKE A CRAZY WOMAN straight to the Sheriff’s Department in Emmett’s
Mill, part of her sobbing with elation that she’d finally found her girls and
the other part railing at the asshole who had the audacity to keep them from her
as if he had the right.
Coming to an abrupt stop in front of the police station, she pushed open the
double doors and stalked inside. She approached the reception desk and banged on
the little bell for service when the woman behind the desk was slow to open the
sliding protective glass window.
“I need to talk to an officer right away,” she said to the
dispatcher-receptionist, ignoring the woman’s look of annoyance. “A man is
keeping my children from me and I need an officer to go out there and get them.”
“Excuse me? Come again? You say someone’s holding your kids?”
“Yes. A man named John Murphy—”
“That name sounds awful familiar…does he own the Murphy ranch out on the
outskirts of town?”
“Yeah, I guess it was a ranch of some kind.” She vaguely remembered seeing a few
horses and a dog. Renee let out a short breath as incredulity warred with
extreme frustration at the woman’s failure to grasp that a serious crime was
being committed. She seemed more interested in playing the Name Game, and Renee
tried again. “Yeah, it was a ranch but I hardly think that’s relevant when I’m
trying to tell you that this John Murphy has kidnapped my children. He has my
kids and I want them right now. Can I speak with a deputy please?”
“Don’t get huffy.” The woman’s mouth pinched, causing little lines to crease her
lips in a most unflattering way. “All the available deputies are out on a call.
But if you leave a name and number—”
Renee slapped her hand down on the counter, making the woman jump and her hand
flutter to her chest in alarm but Renee was past caring about making waves. She
wanted her kids. “I will not. A crime is being committed and I want a goddamn
officer. Do you hear me?”
The woman’s deep-set eyes narrowed and Renee knew she’d just crossed over to the
place of No Return and she was pretty sure that place was also nicknamed Up Shit
Creek Without a Paddle because moments later, those deputies that were
previously unavailable came pouring out and Renee found herself in handcuffs.
“What are you doing?” Renee shrieked as the deputy led her to a small single
cell in the rear of the building. “I come here for help and you’re arresting
me?”
“Nancy pressed the panic button, which means you must’ve done something to cause
her to panic. This is for everyone’s safety until we figure out what’s going
on.”
A woman officer entered the room. “I got this Fred. You can go ahead and take
that coffee break you were wanting earlier.” She waited for Deputy Do-Right Fred
to leave and then she introduced herself. “I’m Sheriff Casey. Seems you’re
making friends wherever you go. I got a call from John Murphy about a half hour
before you showed up and started abusing my staff. Want to tell me what’s going
on?”
Renee’s cheeks warmed at the cloaked rebuke and took a minute to calm herself
before she answered. “My ex-husband, Jason Dolling, took off with our kids and
I’ve been trying to find them for the past four months. I remembered that Jason
had a great-aunt in the area and so I came looking for my girls here and found
them at the neighbor’s house!”
“Are you sure they’re your kids?”
Renee stared at the woman. “Are you kidding me? Of course I know for sure.
They’re my kids. That’s not something you forget.”
“According to John, you walked out on them. That true?”
“I left them with their father for personal reasons,” Renee said, fuming. “I
don’t see how that’s relevant.”
“I’m the one asking the questions. Why’d you leave them?”
“I told you. It was personal.”
“Yeah…it usually is.” The woman regarded her shrewdly and Renee felt her jaw
tense. She got the distinct impression this small-town sheriff was judging her
and there was nothing Renee hated more than to be put on display just so someone
else could offer their opinion. The sheriff sighed. “Well, we’ve got ourselves a
situation.”
“Yes, I agree. Some hillbilly horse rancher has my children and I require your
assistance to retrieve them,” Renee said.
“That’s not exactly how I see it,” the sheriff admitted with a shake of her
head.
“Oh? Is there any other way to see things? Perhaps you’d like to swab my cheek
for DNA to make sure I’m their mother.”
The sarcasm in her voice did little to soften the sheriff toward her but Renee
was losing patience with this whole ridiculous routine. And to think she’d
thought the hardest part of this mess would’ve been to find Jason and the girls,
not pick them up. Noting the narrowed stare and gathering frown on the sheriff’s
face, she tried again. “Listen, I’m tired and I just want to get my girls. It
seems there’s been a misunderstanding but no harm done. So if you’ll just
provide a police escort, we’ll be out of your hair before you know it and
everything can go back to the way things were before me and my girls ever
stepped foot in this godfor—” she checked that part of her sentence “—uh, town.”
The sheriff smiled but Renee felt the chill before the woman started talking.
“You never answered my question.” At Renee’s blank stare, the sheriff asked
again, “Why’d you leave your kids behind with a man who, by the sounds of it,
wasn’t fit to water a dog much less care for three babies?”
No one hated the truth of that answer more than her, but if she lied it would
only make her look worse so Renee grit her teeth and admitted her greatest shame
to a total stranger. “Because I was in rehab.”
“Rehab.”
In that one word, Renee heard a wealth of condemnation and she wanted to scream.
She’d get no help from the sheriff. Fine. On to Plan B. Inside she was shaking
with frustration but she kept her expression calm, knowing if she had any chance
of getting her girls she had to first get the hell out of this jail cell.
The sheriff sighed. “Okay, here’s the deal. John told me Gladys Stemming has
temporary guardianship for the time being so until you get in front of the judge
and have that amended, the order stands and I can’t let you charge out there and
take the kids. But seeing as you haven’t actually committed a crime I can’t keep
you here so, if I let you out of this cell, you’re going to promise me that
you’re not going to rattle any more cages with your screeching and hollering.
That’s not how things are done around here, you hearing me?”
Renee swallowed and nodded though it killed her to agree to those terms,
especially when her first instinct was to drive straight back to that ranch and
take the girls and run. Fortunately, good sense prevailed and she rationalized
that once she got in court—in front of someone normal instead of these
small-town hillbilly types who made up the rules as they went along—she knew
she’d get her girls back and they could leave this nightmare behind.
“I hear you. Loud and clear,” Renee answered. “I’m sorry for freaking out your
receptionist. I was upset. I haven’t seen my girls in months and contrary to
what you may think about me, I’ve been desperately searching for them since
Jason took off,” she added, with a dose of humility that wasn’t entirely fake
for she really hadn’t meant to frighten anyone.
“Um-hmm. Well, just see that you keep your nose clean until you can get to
court. I don’t want to have to lock you up again.”
That makes two of us.
JOHN SAT ACROSS THE TABLE from Alexis and Taylor while Chloe helped Gladys bake
cookies in the kitchen.
“Was that your mama?” he asked the girls. Both were wearing solemn expressions,
though there was a hint of anger in Alexis’s. He sighed. “If that woman was your
mama, she’s going to come back and if the courts decide she’s fit, you’re going
to have to go with her. Don’t you want to see your mama?”
Taylor looked uncertain but as she slanted a quick glance at her older sister,
who had remained stoic, she chose to keep her answer locked up tight. Though her
silence didn’t last long.
“I want to stay with you, Mr. John,” Taylor blurted. “I like it here. It’s warm
and you’re a good cooker and I don’t mind sharing a bed with my sisters because
it’s soft and I don’t get woken up by bugs running across my toes. Please don’t
make us leave, Mr. John.”
That last part—delivered with a child’s earnestness—hit him square in the chest.
He didn’t want to give the kid false promises but he couldn’t imagine breaking
her heart like everyone else in her short life had done. “There are rules when
it comes to kids,” he started, hating that it wasn’t as simple as Taylor saw it.
“If your mama isn’t fit then you have to go to a court appointed
something-or-another. This is a temporary thing that we got going on right now.”
Tears sprang to Taylor’s eyes and Alexis pulled her closer. Ah hell…rules were
meant to be broken, weren’t they? “Listen, I’ll see what I can do but if you
stay here, there are rules here, too. Chores, helping out. I run a working horse
ranch and I don’t have time to be chasing after three little girls who aren’t
prone to listening.” He gave Alexis a short look. “Am I clear?”
Taylor nodded. “Can I help with the horses?”
John exhaled loudly, feeling as if he’d just agreed to take on the world for
three little strangers. “We’ll see. In the meantime, why don’t you go help Mrs.
Stemming with those cookies. I need to talk with your sister.”
He watched as Taylor hopped from her chair and skipped to help Gladys, a bright
smile wreathing her small face as Gladys handed her a bowl with cookie dough and
told her to start rolling it into little balls for the oven. He’d told Gladys
she shouldn’t be up and about so much but the old gal wanted to feel useful and
wouldn’t be deterred. He figured for now it was all right but he was going to
get her to see the doctor soon.
Once Taylor was suitably occupied he gestured for Alexis to follow him into the
living room, which was a far enough distance from the kitchen to allow them some
privacy.
She took a seat opposite him, perched on the edge of the cowhide sofa as if
poised to bolt if the need arose. Everything about Alexis, from her rigid
posture to her sharp, alert and wary gaze, told him that this girl had lost her
childhood somewhere along the way of her life. He could relate somewhat. He’d
often felt like Evan’s father rather than just his older brother after their mom
died. The weight of that responsibility had a tendency to suck the fun right out
of growing up. He eyed her intently. This kid didn’t know what it was like to be
coddled and so he’d talk to her straight.
“You mad at your mama? It’s okay if you are. She did a bad thing, leaving you
like she did. But it seems maybe she has changed a bit since you saw her last.
She seemed real upset, don’t you think? Maybe you could sit down and chat with
her for a bit, get a feel for what she’s saying.”
Alexis softened imperceptibly. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I know you still have feelings for your mama and that’s okay, too. We can
be mad at the people we love. But if you don’t talk with her about your
feelings, they’ll just fester up inside of you and make you sick. It’s like
having an invisible infection inside your heart and it never gets better unless
you treat it.”
Alexis gave a stiff nod but remained quiet.
“I need to ask you something about Chloe.” At the mention of her baby sister,
her demeanor became protective. Her little fists curled and he doubted she even
realized it.
“What about Chloe?”
“Was your daddy mean to her?”
“Daddy was mean to all of us.”
“Yeah, I get that. He sure as hell ain’t up for Father of the Year but I mean
did he pick on Chloe more than the rest of you?” At first Alexis seemed
reluctant to answer, her small mouth compressed as if trying to hold back what
wanted to fall out, so he waited. His patience was rewarded when Alexis started
talking in a barely audible whisper.
“Yes,” she said, tears glittering in her eyes. “It got really bad when our mom
left.”
“Do you know why?” he asked gently and Alexis shook her head. Drawing a deep
breath, he asked the question that had been bothering him the most. “Do you
think your daddy was trying to make Chloe sick?”
Alexis bit the side of her cheek and her face paled as she struggled to hold
back the tears that welled in her eyes.
“It’s okay, you can tell me. I know you did your best to keep your sisters safe.
Tell me what your daddy was doing to Chloe.”
Alexis gulped and when she spoke again her voice shook. “Special eggs. He made
her eat eggs that he made special and they always made her sick. The last time,
right before we left Arizona, I watched him as he made Chloe’s breakfast. He put
something in it from under the kitchen sink and I know that’s not where we keep
the salt and pepper. We only keep cleaning supplies down there. So I didn’t let
her eat them.”
“How’d you do that?”
“When he wasn’t looking I switched our plates. I knew he hadn’t put anything in
me and Taylor’s eggs and then I told him I didn’t feel good. I threw my eggs
away. He didn’t care about me, but he made sure Chloe ate every bit on her plate
before he’d let her get down from the table. I think my daddy—” She stopped on a
painful sob and John felt her struggle as if it were his own. Alexis had
confirmed his worst fear. The girls’ father had been trying to poison his
youngest daughter.
He caught Alexis’s red-rimmed stare and made her a solemn promise. “You’re never
going back to that man. And if your mom isn’t up to snuff…you aren’t going back
to her, either. That okay with you?”
Her answer was slow in coming but he suspected it came straight from her heart
as she nodded and said, “Fine by me.”
Good. First things first…“I’m friends with Sheriff Casey. You need to tell her
everything you just told me.”
“Are you sure we’re not going to go back to Daddy?” she asked, her eyes scared.
“Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“Daddy was real mean to Chloe,” she said. “I’m afraid of what he’ll do if we go
back. He told Chloe if she didn’t stop peeing her panties he’d put her outside
like a dog because she smelled like one. He left her out there for hours in the
rain. I went out and got her after he went to bed. It took all night to warm her
up but the cough she has now…it’s from that night. Sometimes she coughs so hard,
she can’t breathe.”
“I know, honey, that’s why I took her to the doc. She’s got some medicine and
we’re taking care of that nasty cough so you don’t need to worry anymore,” he
said, careful to keep his voice neutral and calm when inside he was to the
boiling point. He couldn’t imagine little Chloe locked outside, shivering in the
rain, crying for her sisters and huddled against the door while her father sat
in relative comfort inside the house. God help him if John got his hands on that
man. But for now, he needed to lift the weight from this little girl’s
shoulders. “All right. Here’s the deal. Sheriff Casey is a good person. There’s
no way you’re going back to your daddy after you tell her what you told me. But
you have to be honest with her so she can help. Okay?”
Alexis nodded and wiped at the remaining tears glistening on her downy cheek.
“Why did she leave us with him?” she asked quietly, more to herself than to
John. Suddenly, she looked at him as if expecting an answer though he didn’t
have one. “Maybe if she’d taken us with her…Chloe wouldn’t have been hurt.” She
rose and glanced away, seeming much older than she really was. When she spoke
again, her voice was cold. “I hate her. No one can make me love her again. Not
you. Not anybody. I’ll hate her forever and it doesn’t matter if she’s changed.”
As John watched her stalk from the room to join her sisters, he didn’t doubt a
single emotion flowing from that little girl’s strong heart. In a way he felt
bad for the storm that was heading in the direction of Renee Dolling. That woman
would have to dig deep to find the loving daughter she’d left behind. And, given
what the girls had been through, Renee might find her way to China much easier
than the way to her daughter’s closed-off heart.
He didn’t envy her. Not one bit.
CHAPTER FOUR
“COURT RULING STANDS. Temporary guardianship will remain with Gladys Stemming
until family court has had a chance to review the case further.” The rap of the
gavel brought Renee out of her stunned stupor. What had just happened?
She shot from her seat. “Excuse me? What the hell just happened?”
The Honorable Judge Lawrence Prescott II gave her a sharp look just as the
bailiff started to move forward to deter her from approaching the bench. “You’ll
watch your language in my courtroom, miss,” he said with a soft drawl that
betrayed southern roots somewhere in his lineage. He gestured for her to take
her seat and once she reluctantly returned to her chair, he said to his court
reporter, who in Renee’s opinion looked a lot like the receptionist at the
sheriff’s department, “Please repeat the judgment for Mrs. Dolling, Nancy.”
Renee stared, unable to believe what she was witnessing, as indeed dour-faced
sheriff’s receptionist Nancy pulled the tape from the machine and repeated in a
clipped voice the judgment that had just been rendered.
Schooling her voice into something less screeching and more reasonable, she
tried a different tactic. “I heard the judgment. What I don’t understand is how
the court can appoint a virtual stranger as guardian for my children when I am
their mother. They should be with me. Surely, you can understand that?”
Judge Prescott gave her a wintry glare and Renee felt her hopes of putting this
nightmare behind her anytime soon freezing to the point of death. “What I
understand is that you’re a fickle woman prone to bad decisions when it comes to
your children. That’s what I know about you. What I know about Gladys Stemming
is that she’s solid and dependable.” The judge glanced at John Murphy sitting
opposite to Renee. “And since Mr. Murphy has offered the use of the ranch while
she recuperates from her surgery, it is the court’s determination that the
children have a safe and stable environment while this whole situation is sorted
out. In addition to that, the children themselves have expressed a desire to
stay with their aunt…not you.”
Renee sucked in a sharp breath at the rejection and blinked back tears. “Sir, if
you gave me a chance to talk with my girls I would explain the circumstances and
I’d get them to understand. In time, they might even forgive me for making a
terrible mistake but if you keep them from me how can I hope to make everything
right again? I love my girls and if I had the chance to do things over, I’d do
it all much differently.”
“Be that as it may, you didn’t do things differently and your children suffered.
Particularly your youngest.”
What did he mean by that? Renee frowned. “Chloe? I don’t understand how she
suffered the most…”
Judge Prescott peered over his glasses at Sheriff Casey and continued, “Your
youngest daughter is suffering from bronchial pneumonia due to horrific abuse at
the hands of your ex-husband. The doctor she was taken to discovered old bruises
and a hairline fracture in her left arm that had been left to heal on its own.”
Renee felt sick. “I wasn’t aware…”
“Yes, well, the court isn’t interested in your excuses, Mrs. Dolling. The fact
remains that you left your children in the hands of a dangerous and abusive man.
It is the court’s belief that only through the vigilant actions of your other
children that Chloe is still alive.”
Renee caught the stare of John Murphy—the man who was essentially getting her
children—and she expected to see the same condemnation she was getting from the
rest of the room, but she saw a flicker of something close to sympathy that took
her by surprise. She looked away abruptly. She didn’t want his pity—or anyone
else’s. Not that it was coming her way in waves at the moment but the scraps of
her pride demanded she hold her head high. “How long is this temporary
arrangement in effect?” she asked.
“As long as I deem necessary.”
She took a risk as she said, “Forgive me, Your Honor, but I think it would be
more appropriate for my children to go to a state-approved foster home rather
than that of some man you happen to know from school. How do I know that this
John Murphy isn’t some kind of pervert?”
Nancy the court reporter-sheriff’s receptionist gasped and her eyes widened
before she returned her attention to her typing. Yep. Nancy’s reaction pretty
much clinched Renee’s sinking suspicion she just made things worse, but Renee
wasn’t going down without a fight.
“I’ve had just about enough of your mouth,” the judge warned. Renee caught
Sheriff Casey shaking her head as if Renee was just about the dumbest person on
the planet to question the judge in such a manner, but Renee felt desperation
setting in and, well, desperate people do dumb things. The judge shuffled his
papers from the case and handed them to the court secretary for filing. “Get a
job. Get a place to stay and then, when you get your ducks in a row, we’ll talk
about modification. In spite of your infernal mouth, I get the sense that you
didn’t know what a monster you’d left your kids with but that doesn’t erase what
happened to those girls. They need stability. They need someone they can trust.
And they trust John and Gladys. I could order them into foster care but that
would likely traumatize them more as I’d have to break them up because the
system’s full. They’d probably even go to separate counties. You want that?”
She couldn’t imagine separating the girls. “No,” she answered in a small voice.
“Then stop your complaining about how unfair things are for you and start
focusing on getting your life back together so that your girls would rather be
with you than a stranger.”
That hurt. Renee swallowed the sharp retort that flew to mind as her defenses
went up, because she knew as whacked out and nuts as this whole court drama was,
there was a certain kindness directed at her children. If the girls wanted to be
with John Murphy for the time being, she’d go along with it. But as soon as she
won their trust back, they were packing it out of this place—fast.
GLADYS MET JOHN AT THE DOOR, her expression anxious. He allayed her fears
quickly. “Court ruling stands but their mother, Renee, gets monitored visitation
for the time being.”
“Oh, thank goodness. Those poor babies have been tied up in knots since you left
this morning. Alexis takes it the hardest. That poor lamb. I can only imagine
what she’s been through trying to protect her sisters from that man. It boggles
my mind why their mother left those babies in Jason’s care.”
“In court she mentioned something about being in rehab when Jason split,” John
said, chewing the side of his cheek as he mulled over the information himself.
What kind of rehab she didn’t elaborate but drugs of any sort were bad news by
his estimation. “But Judge Prescott didn’t seem to care much for her excuse. I
don’t think he much cared for her, not that she helped matters at all. Her mouth
sure does overload her ass a lot.”
Gladys nodded. “I’m sure. I remember she had quite the smart mouth when I met
her all those years ago. I’m just glad Larry was sitting on the bench today
instead of a temporary judge that they sometimes bring in from the city to help
with the backlog. Someone else less conservative might’ve given those babies
back,” she said with a shudder. “Makes me sick to think of it.”
He agreed. Judge Prescott was an old-school kind of guy. If the law still
allowed a hanging tree, he’d be the kind to supply the rope. “Where are the
girls?” he asked, looking around.
She gestured toward the living room, where the faint sound of the television
could be heard. He frowned. “I don’t think they should be watching so much TV.
Rots your brain from what I hear.”
Gladys shooed him. “Stop being such a bear. Those babies could use a little
pampering. Besides, now that we’ve gotten the court stuff out of the way we can
start getting the older girls enrolled in school. They’re going to need some
routine and stability after what they’ve been through and school will keep their
minds busy. I’ve already placed a few calls. It’s going to be a couple days
before we can track down Alexis’s transcripts but until then they’re going to
need some clothes. They can’t go to school in those rags.”
He’d already been thinking about that, seeing as the clothes they showed up in
weren’t fit to line a dog’s bed. “Maybe I could pick up a few pairs of jeans at
the hardware store,” he speculated, which earned him a scowl from Gladys.
“Hardware store? You can’t put Rustlers on a bunch of girls. What’s wrong with
you? They need pretty things, not work boots and coveralls. Leave it to me. I’m
handy on the computer and Macy’s delivers anywhere in the United States.”
John fished his wallet out from his back pocket and pulled his credit card free
from the plastic holder. He handed it to Gladys. “Buy them whatever they need,”
he said. “I don’t care how much it costs.”
“John…that’s too generous,” Gladys protested softly but her eyes shone with
love. She tucked the card into her apron pocket and gave his cheek a pat.
“You’re a good man, Johnny. Now, go on and do something useful. Don’t you have
horses to tend to?”
He did and Gladys giving him the go-ahead should’ve been a relief but he felt
oddly compelled to check on the girls himself. He supposed that was only natural
given the extreme circumstances but it still knocked him silly at odd moments
that he was even in this situation. Him. The bachelor. With a house full of kids
that he barely knew.
And despite his stern instruction not to, his thoughts kept pulling him in the
direction of Renee. She ought to be the last person he was thinking about—just
the fact that he was gave him serious pause—but he’d be a liar if he didn’t
admit where his thoughts kept wandering. She truly looked stricken when the
judge told her of Chloe’s injuries. Either she was a really good actress or she
felt sick inside at the knowledge that her ex-husband had abused her baby. But
the question that nagged at John was, why only Chloe? It seemed Jason Dolling
had singled out that poor kid—not that he was going to win any parenting
awards—but the other girls seemed to have been spared the brunt of his anger.
Little Chloe didn’t fare the same. A shudder of discomfort shook him as he
realized just how close Chloe may have come to leaving this world if it hadn’t
been for her sisters, mostly Alexis, looking out for her. The doc found traces
of arsenic lingering in Chloe’s system from the repeated doses slipped into her
“special eggs.” Doc said she should be fine now but a few more doses and it
could’ve been fatal. Peeking around the corner, he spied the three towheaded
girls snuggled up to one another, watching television, and he knew there would
be hell to pay if anyone—including their dingbat mother—tried to hurt them
again.
He didn’t understand his own vehemence but he knew enough not to question it.
What was true, was true and the protective feelings curling around his heart
were solid even if he didn’t understand where they were coming from.
A FEW DAYS LATER, RENEE returned to the ranch that was her children’s temporary
home and realized her palms were sweating. She could still see Alexis’s frozen
expression, caught between her previous happiness and shock, and knew she was
the cause of her daughter’s unpleasant reaction.
She knew better than to expect her daughters to run to her with open arms—least
of all Alexis—but the open rejection hurt a lot more than she imagined it would.
Today was the first of their scheduled visitations and Renee was going to make
the most of her time with her girls. She didn’t chase them all over California
and back again to give up now. She’d help them to understand why she left and
why she would never leave them again. Renee fingered the small badge pinned in a
discreet corner on the lapel of her jacket and prayed for strength before
exiting the car and walking toward the house.
But before she reached the front door, that infernal rancher, John, once again
intercepted her and she wanted to throw something heavy his way. She didn’t even
try to hide her scowl as she said, “It’s my court appointed visitation day.
Check your paperwork.”
“I know what day it is. I just want a few words first.”
She tensed. “Why?”
“I want to make sure you don’t try to pressure the girls into doing something
they don’t want to do.”
“Excuse me?”
“I know you don’t think much of this arrangement. It’s pretty much written all
over your face, much the same as it was in the courtroom, that you think this is
a bunch of bullshit but at this point you’re in no place to judge. I don’t care
about you or your feelings. All I care about is that those little girls aren’t
hurt again by either of their parents. And let me give you a fair warning right
now…if that ex-husband of yours even comes near these kids, I won’t hesitate to
shoot him just for the sheer fun of it. So, if you and him are still cozy, make
sure you give him that message. I’m not one to kid about things this important.
You hearing me, Mrs. Dolling?”
Her first instinct was to slap him across his scruffy face for the insult he so
casually tossed her way. Hadn’t he heard her when she said Jason stole their
kids and she’d been chasing after them ever since? The very thought of being
friendly much less cozy with Jason made her physically ill. But the very fact
that this man who was no blood relation to her children was championing them in
a way that their own father had not kept her hot words and temper in
check—though the action was not without great effort on her part.
“I hear you just fine. I’m not deaf,” she said, meeting his steady gaze without
flinching. She imagined that when this man stared people down he won most of the
time. He was the kind of man who gave no quarter but expected none, either, yet
somehow her girls had found the one soft spot in his heart and he wasn’t letting
go. Her stomach gave a discomforting tingle and she slammed the door shut on
wherever her thoughts were going. “Are you finished? I’ve waited months to see
my kids. Despite your scintillating conversation skills, I didn’t come to see
you.”
“Fair enough. I just wanted to make sure we’re clear. They’re inside. Mrs.
Stemming will monitor your visit. Don’t give her any grief, either. She’s taken
to the girls and I won’t have you upsetting her.”
What a wonderful opinion he had of her. “As long as she doesn’t give me any
grief, I won’t feel the need to dish it out.”
And with that she started walking straight up the steps to the house. She didn’t
wait for his approval or his invitation and gave the front door a solid knock.
Her bravado did wonders for the appearance that she wasn’t scared to death of
her own children but did little to stop her hands from shaking or her knees from
weakening. She glanced over her shoulder and saw John watching her intently, his
eyes never leaving her. She suppressed a shudder at that strong stare and
knocked again. This time, the door opened and an older woman with a full head of
white hair stood between her and her girls.
Renee tried putting on a cheerful face. No sense in making enemies purposefully,
her own aunt used to say. “Hello…Aunt Gladys,” she said, trying for some sense
of familiarity, hoping that it might soften any lingering hard feelings. “It’s
been a long time. I’m Renee.”
“I know who you are.” Gladys’s expression was pinched and disapproving as she
moved aside. “Come in. They’re waiting for you.”
Mean old bat. Wiping her slick palms across the seat of her pants she followed
the older woman into the expansive ranch house and despite the foreign
surroundings could sense that this house was warm and inviting with its lived-in
look and strong masculine accents. She rounded the corner and there sat her
girls, their little faces pulled into solemn masks filled with anxiety and
trepidation, and her heart broke from a heavy combination of joy and deep agony.
Chloe sat on Alexis’s lap while Taylor sat beside her older sister. The three
couldn’t have looked more miserable yet stuck to each other as if glued.
Coming forward, wanting desperately to wrap them all in her arms and never let
go, she stopped short when she saw Alexis tighten her arms around Chloe
protectively. Pain arced through Renee but she didn’t want to push the girls too
fast. Taking Alexis’s lead, she moved to the chair closest to them and took a
seat.
“How about some cookies and tea?” Mrs. Stemming broke in with a modicum of
manners though there was no warmth directed at Renee in those bright, alert
eyes. Renee was tempted to tell her to stick her cookies where the sun didn’t
shine but she held her tongue in the interest of playing nice. When Gladys spoke
again, Renee was glad she’d remained quiet. “Taylor and I made a fresh batch of
gingersnaps this morning and they’re mighty good,” she said, sending a genuine
smile to Taylor who returned it tentatively.
Although mildly allergic to ginger Renee smiled and nodded. If suffering through
hives was the price she had to pay to win her daughters’ love back, she’d eat an
entire batch of gingersnaps and risk anaphylactic shock for the privilege. “I’d
love some.”
But Alexis wasn’t going to let her off that easy. “She hates gingersnaps,”
Alexis said, her mouth forming a hard line.
“I don’t hate them, Lexie,” Renee gently corrected. “I’m slightly allergic but
I’d love to try Taylor’s cookies.”
“Whatever.”
Renee drew back at the flippant sarcasm in Alexis’s voice and her hopes for a
happy reunion sank to the bottom of her heart. Gladys looked to Renee for
direction and she gave her a weak smile. “I’d still love to try the cookies.”
“Are you sure?” Gladys asked, uncertainty etched into her expression, no doubt
from the fear that Renee might fall over dead from a simple cookie.
“It’ll be fine,” Renee assured her. “Promise.”
Gladys left the room and Renee sought a safe subject to fill the empty air.
“Tell me what you’ve been doing lately. I want to hear all about your
adventures. I’ve missed out on so much. I have a lot to catch up on. Taylor,
sweetheart, why don’t you start?”
But before Taylor could open her mouth, Alexis started talking. The anger in her
young voice fairly vibrated her body as she spoke.
“What do you wanna know?”
Renee faltered, not quite sure how to talk to this angry stranger. “Anything,
honey. I want to hear about everything,” she said, her gaze darting to Taylor,
hoping for some help from her little chatterbox, but she received none. Taylor
remained quiet and wide-eyed, waiting for a cue from her sister on how to act.
“Taylor?” she prompted but Alexis shut her down before she could say a word.
“You really wanna know or are you just trying to play like you care?” Alexis
said, her gaze hot.
Renee drew back, stung. “Of course I want to know. And I do care.”
Alexis smirked, the expression on her young face entirely too mature for her
actual age of nine and a half. “Okay. Daddy’s been trying to kill Chloe by
giving her rat poison. He put her outside in the rain when she peed the bed and
he used to hit her with his belt until he broke her bones. Do you wanna see the
bruises?” Renee could only stare in shock. Alexis shrugged. “You asked. Oh, and
I’m a year behind in school because Daddy moved us around too much. And Taylor
gets nightmares. Are we done catching up?”
Without waiting for Renee’s answer—not that she could’ve mustered one—Alexis
rose with Chloe still in her arms and stalked from the room, calling for Taylor
to follow. Alexis whirled before exiting, her blue eyes blazing. “And stop
calling me Lexie. I hate that name and I never want to hear it again.”
Tears sprang to Renee’s eyes and she didn’t care that the old bat was watching
as she let her head sink into her hands. She was a fool to think that Lexie—no,
Alexis—would ever forgive her. And rightly so. Who was she to even ask for
forgiveness when her children had suffered so much?
“She’s a smart girl,” she heard the old woman say, then crunch into a cookie,
presumably the gingersnaps she’d offered earlier. “She’s not one to eat up
bullshit, if you know what I mean.”
She did. Lifting her head, she eyed the woman. “You’re no expert on my daughter
after spending a few days with her. I’d appreciate if you kept your opinions to
yourself,” Renee said, standing stiffly.
Gladys shrugged. “Doesn’t seem like you’re much of an expert, either, and you’ve
been around her for at least some of those nine years she’s been on this planet,
so I’d watch where you’re slinging that attitude of yours,” Gladys said before
finishing the rest of her cookie.
“I know my daughter,” Renee retorted, her cheeks heating but her heart ached
privately. What Alexis said…Renee would never have guessed that Jason would have
been capable of hurting Chloe. Never even imagined, though she should’ve figured
with his more recent drug history. He’d become unpredictable. She struggled to
keep her voice calm. “She’s smart. She’ll come around.”
“Maybe.” The older woman nodded, then bit into another cookie. “If she thinks
you deserve a second chance.”
“She will. I’m her mother.”
“Don’t get your dander up. I’m just saying she’s a smart girl and if you don’t
blow it by cutting out on them again, she’ll likely loosen up. Kids are more
forgiving than adults.”
“Thanks.” The word was difficult against her lips but she sensed this woman was
not her enemy even if she wasn’t her friend. She blew out a breath and rolled
her shoulders to release the tension building behind her blades. “How are they
doing?”
“Good as to be expected I guess. You might want to talk with John, though. He’s
got all the details you’re probably looking for. I just bake and keep them
occupied when John has to tend to the horses.”
Renee smiled softly, thinking of how Taylor must love being around the horses.
“Does Taylor get to see the horses?”
“Oh, yes, that one is hard to keep out of the stables. John lets her help him
feed them in the morning, though I suspect when he gets them enrolled in school,
she’s going to put up a fuss when she can’t hang around the barn all day.”
Alarm spiked through Renee. “School? He’s enrolling them in school? Here?”
Gladys looked nonplussed. “Well, of course, here. Where else? They have to go to
school. It’s the law. It’s bad enough that riffraff of a father dragged them
from one place to another with no thought as to how they’d get an education, but
the judge was adamant that they get enrolled right away. The only reason they’re
not enrolled yet is because of some hiccup with Alexis’s transcripts.”
She supposed that made sense but enrolling them in school suggested permanence
and she didn’t want the girls to think they were staying any longer than the
court order required. And the fact that the judge wanted them enrolled didn’t
bode well for a quick resolution in Renee’s estimation. “Where is the school
here?”
“Well, the high school kids get bused to Emmett’s Mill or Coldwater but there’s
an elementary school just down the road a bit that the local country kids go to.
That’s where they’ll go.”
“Is it a good school?”
Gladys smiled proudly. “One of the best. It’s not big on fancy things like new
computers but the teachers are warmhearted and the classes are small. The girls
will fit in right away. Don’t you worry.”
“My girls are strong. They’d fit in anywhere,” she bluffed, only hoping that was
true. The truth was, as Gladys had already pointed out, she didn’t know her
girls at all.
But, as her gaze drifted out the front window to the arena where John was
working with a horse, she aimed to rectify that no matter what—or who—stood in
her way.
CHAPTER FIVE
JOHN CROSSED HIS ARMS across his chest and stared. “You want me to what?”
Renee lifted her chin. “Hire me.”
“For what and why?”
“Well, you need someone to help with the girls and by the looks of your house,
someone to help out with general upkeep. I figure the best way to stay close to
my girls and get to know them again is to be around them as much as possible and
I can’t do that if I live and work twenty miles away. Plus, there’s really not
much to choose from as far as jobs go. You live in the sticks of the sticks.”
Renee paused to take a breath and he realized more was coming. “And, I was
thinking that perhaps you could let me stay here in that guesthouse you have
behind the main house. I’d be out of your way and it would take care of two of
the requirements the judge set forth in the judgment.”
“Why would I want you moving into my house? Have you forgotten I don’t much like
you? And just what the hell are you insinuating about my house?” Was she saying
he was a slob? He shot her a dirty look. “You sure have a funny way of asking
for a favor, you know that?”
She returned his glare but the way she chewed her bottom lip told him she
realized she might’ve been a little harsh. “I didn’t mean to insult you. All I’m
saying is your house is clean enough for a bachelor but a woman’s touch is
needed around here.” She gestured to the drapes at the front window. “When was
the last time those things were aired out? Or how about the floor? This old
hardwood needs to be waxed every now and again. I figure you don’t have the time
to be doing stuff like that.”
He glanced at the floor. Looked fine to him. So it didn’t shine like it used to
when his mama was alive but it was still in good shape. And whoever heard of
airing out drapes? How dirty could they be? They just hang there. “How do you
know so much about cleaning house?” he asked.
She bristled at his open speculation but answered even though he suspected she
would’ve rather told him to shove it and mind his own business. “My mother was a
bit of a stickler when it came to keeping a clean home. She was known to fire
the staff for not adhering to her standard,” she muttered.
Staff? His ears pricked at the small tidbit of information but his interest
didn’t compel him to inquire further. The woman was becoming a bit of a mystery
that only gave him a headache when he tried to figure her out.
He read nothing but honesty as she said, “I just want to do what’s best for the
girls, and contrary to what you or that nutty judge may think my girls need
their mother.”
He could argue they needed their mother to protect them when their father was
being a monster but he figured there was no sense in poking at a beehive when
you knew full well nothing but pissed off bees were going to fly out. But that
didn’t mean he wanted her moving in. “I don’t want you moving in and I don’t
need your services,” he maintained stubbornly.
She squared her jaw, not willing to give up. “Gladys seems nice enough but you
can’t really expect an old lady to keep up with three little girls. She can’t
even lift Chloe and that’s who she’d be around when the older girls are in
school. What if there was an emergency and you weren’t around? Gladys tells me
that you work outside a lot. What if she had a heart attack or something?”
“Gladys is fine,” he growled. But he knew he couldn’t expect Gladys to keep up
with the girls and he did worry when he had to be outside for any length of
time, which given his trade was hard to get around. Still, having Renee here…at
the ranch? It smacked of trouble. “The court might not approve of you being
around the girls without supervision.”
“I’m not a danger to my own children,” she said quietly and John couldn’t help
but soften a bit toward her. “I just want to get to know them again. This is the
easiest and most helpful way for both of us. I need a job and a place to stay.
You and Gladys need help with the girls. It’s a win-win for us both. And, once
the girls and I patch up our relationship, we can all get out of your hair.
That’s what you want, right?”
“I want what’s in the girls’ best interests and I don’t know if that includes
letting them leave with you anytime soon,” he snapped, knowing full well he
hated the idea of letting the girls leave with this nut but as much as she taxed
his patience, she’d made valid points in her favor. “Let me think about it,” he
said with no small amount of ire in his tone. “I have to talk with the girls
first. I don’t want to upset them more than I have to. Their first day of school
is tomorrow and neither of the older kids is too happy about it.”
“Alexis used to love school,” Renee murmured, her expression sad. She looked up
hopefully. “Maybe I could go with you when you take them.”
He slanted his gaze at her, her blue eyes so much like her oldest daughter’s
that he suspected when Alexis grew up she’d be the spitting image of her mama.
If that were the case he’d have to beat the boys off with a stick—that is if the
girls were still around here by that time, which wasn’t likely. Shifting in
annoyance at his thoughts, he grunted an answer.
She blinked at him. “What? I’m sorry…was that a yes or a no?”
“I said fine. Do what you want. Just don’t upset the girls.”
“What time?”
“I’m supposed to have the girls at the school at seven-thirty.” He chewed the
inside of his cheek, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Alexis was
pretty angry with her mom and he didn’t want to put her through more than she’d
already experienced but Renee had a point. She needed to spend more time around
them if they were going to repair their relationship. But a part of him could
give a fig about Renee getting her kids to love her again. She was the one who
screwed up and walked away. Why should she get a second chance at messing with
their hearts? But even as the angry thoughts scrolled through his head, he shot
a look at Renee and caught the very real fear in her eyes that her girls might
never forgive her, and he realized she was probably beating herself up more than
he ever could.
Unsure of how he really felt and not particularly interested in digging to find
out, he grunted something else in the way of goodbye and headed out to the
stables. Working with horses was something he knew and understood. He’d just
stick with that.
RENEE WATCHED AS JOHN STALKED off and seeing as she wasn’t entirely sure if he’d
just told her to get off his property or go ahead and enjoy an iced tea, she
decided to seek out the girls before she returned to town. He hadn’t agreed to
her offer but he hadn’t expressly turned her down, either. Renee chose to think
optimistically. Perhaps she could get Gladys on her side. Going to the house,
she hesitated at the front door, wondering if she should knock or just go in.
Deciding it was best to proceed with caution, she gave the door a soft knock and
waited.
She could hear the laughter of her girls, at least Taylor, and Renee smiled.
Taylor was always her most exuberant child. A tomboy with a wild nest of blond
hair that was stick straight and likely to be standing on end each morning.
Renee used to fight with her, trying to get a brush through that mess. Tears
sprang to her eyes as the memory of being with her girls every day—before she
made the decision to leave—made her stiffen against the bittersweet moment. She
was different now and she’d never be the woman she was then. Her fingers strayed
to the badge on her jacket and as the pads grazed the hard metal, she sought
strength from within and from God. She had just enough time to suck a deep
breath of cleansing air before the door opened and Taylor stood there.
“Hi, sweetheart,” Renee said, fighting the urge to sweep the little girl into
her arms. “Can I come in and visit for a bit?”
“I have to ask Grammy Stemmy,” Taylor said solemnly before running from the
door. Renee stepped over the threshold and could hear Taylor yelling in the
kitchen. “Renee is here. Can she come in and visit?”
Fresh pain spiked through Renee as her child referred to her by name as if she
were a stranger. No doubt Alexis had a hand in that. The girls would do whatever
their older sister told them and right now Alexis was more than willing to sever
any tie to their mother. But Renee was tougher than that and she was still their
mother, no matter what they called her.
“I suppose,” Gladys said warily, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “We were just
about to have some hot cider and cherry turnovers. Would you like to share some
with us?”
“Sounds wonderful. Thank you.”
Renee followed Gladys around to the kitchen and took a seat at the expansive oak
table, noting that the two little girls clambered into seats right beside her
but Alexis was nowhere to be seen. Disappointed that her eldest daughter was
purposefully avoiding her, she focused on the joy at having her little girls
flocked around her. As she accepted a small plate with a pastry from Gladys, she
started casual conversation.
“Are you excited about starting school, Taylor?”
Taylor’s expression dissolved into a mutinous scowl even as she chewed on her
turnover. “I hate school.”
“How do you know that, sweetheart? You’ve never been to school yet. Besides,
it’s only kindergarten. I bet you’ll have a wonderful time and make lots of new
friends.”
“I don’t want friends. I want to work with the horses and Mr. John.”
“Well, I’m sure Mr. John loves your help with the horses but he wouldn’t want
you to miss out on school. He knows how important it is.”
“Yeah, I guess. Daddy never made us go to school. He said school never did him
any good so why should he make us go?”
Renee burned inside at Jason’s stupid statement and wondered how in the hell she
ever considered him the love of her life. Struggling with her answer, she smiled
and said in the nicest way she could muster, “Uh, sometimes Daddy didn’t know
what he was talking about. School is very important and I think you’re going to
love it.”
“Why?” Taylor’s bell-like voice tinkled softly as she suddenly looked intrigued.
“Do they have horses at school?”
“Not that I’m aware but they have libraries with lots of books that they will
let you check out for free and then you can read all about horses.”
Taylor seemed to consider this but suddenly her face screwed into a frown. “I
don’t know how to read,” she said.
“All the more reason to go to school. Your teacher will teach you how to read
and then you can read anything you like. But in the meantime, before you learn
to read, they have what’s called picture books and I’ll bet there are picture
books devoted completely to horses. Would you like to see pictures of pretty
horses?”
“There’s no prettier horse than Mr. John’s Cisco. He’s very pretty but you can’t
get too close to him because he’s been spooked by a bad person.”
“Spooked?” Renee asked.
“Yeah, Mr. John works with horses that are sad or mean ’cuz someone wasn’t nice
to them. And Cisco is my favorite.”
Renee was mildly impressed in spite of herself. She had to admit she had a soft
spot for abused animals, as well. “What does Cisco look like?”
Taylor flung her arms as wide as they would go. “He’s bigger than this and real
tall. Mr. John said he’s seventeen hands but I don’t know what that means. I
think it means he’s like a giant ’cuz he is.”
“He sounds very big,” Renee agreed, returning to the subject of school. “So, you
think you might be willing to check out school then, if we can find some horse
picture books?”
Taylor nodded. “Maybe I’ll go just to check out this library thing. But I’m not
making promises that I’ll like school.”
“Absolutely. No promises.” Renee smiled and suddenly remembered something.
Opening her purse, she pulled out Mr. BunBun. The moment Taylor saw what was in
Renee’s hand, her eyes widened and she clasped her hands tightly as her voice
hit a high-pitched squeal of delight that felt like heaven against Renee’s ears
despite its ear-drum shattering quality.
“Mr. BunBun!” Taylor hugged the bedraggled stuffed animal to her small chest and
nearly squeezed the stuffing out of it in her excitement. “How’d you find him?”
“When I was looking for you girls I found the house you were living in with your
dad and Mr. BunBun was all by himself. I knew you would miss him so I grabbed
him before leaving.”
“Thank you so much!” Taylor said and impulsively kissed Renee’s cheek.
Chloe, watching her sister, copied the gesture and Renee received a sloppy kiss
from her youngest daughter. Unable to help herself, Renee scooped both girls
into a tight embrace, her heart cracking from the unparalleled joy cascading
through her body. The girls giggled and Renee smiled through her tears. The
moment was nearly perfect. She only wished Alexis were there in the cuddle.
Seconds later, Renee’s unspoken wish was granted—albeit not in the way she’d
been hoping.
“What are you doing?” Alexis’s imperious tone cut through the happy moment as
easily as a hot knife through butter and the girls scattered.
Taylor held up her rabbit. “Renee brought me Mr. BunBun,” she said, though her
chastised tone scraped on Renee’s nerves. Alexis shouldn’t make her sisters feel
bad for showing affection to their mother. Taylor moved farther away from Renee
and Chloe followed.
Renee caught Gladys’s watchful stare as the scene unfolded. Standing, Renee met
her daughter’s hot gaze and knew the moment was now or never to remind her
daughter that she was still their mother. “Alexis Janelle Dolling, you will not
speak to your sisters that way,” Renee said, knowing she was likely digging the
hole even deeper between the two of them but she couldn’t stand by and watch as
Alexis bullied the girls. “We were having a lovely moment until you came in and
started glaring at the girls for even being near me. That will stop right now.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.” Alexis sneered, but her eyes welled with
moisture. “And you’re not our mother anymore. You stopped being our mother the
day you walked out on us.”
“I made a terrible mistake. I admit that. I will gladly spend the rest of my
life making up for it but that doesn’t mean that you can talk to me or your
sisters so disrespectfully.”
“We don’t want to hear your excuses,” Alexis said. “And Taylor left behind that
dumb stuffed animal for a reason. It’s trash. Isn’t it, Taylor?” She looked
pointedly at Taylor until Taylor’s bottom lip trembled as she struggled to let
her precious bunny go a second time. Renee was shocked at the level of Alexis’s
anger that she’d be willing to sacrifice Taylor’s feelings for her own spite.
Renee stopped Taylor from dropping the bunny to the table, and ignoring Alexis
for a moment, tucked a wayward strand of white-blond hair behind Taylor’s ear as
she said softly, “Sweetheart, you don’t have to give up Mr. BunBun. He’s your
special bunny and only you can decide when it’s time to let him go. Okay?”
Taylor nodded slowly and clutched the bunny tightly. Looking to Alexis she said,
“He’s not trash!” and ran from the room.
Sensing the tension, Chloe started to cry and out of instinct Renee scooped the
toddler into her arms. Alexis reacted violently, running to Renee and trying to
jerk Chloe out of her arms. Renee twisted so that Chloe wasn’t accidentally hurt
in the process and suddenly John was there, plucking Alexis up as if she weighed
nothing and placing her firmly away from Renee.
Renee realized as she soothed Chloe that John must’ve been watching the scene
from the hallway.
“Alexis,” he said, commanding her daughter’s attention as angry tears streamed
down her face. “Never attack your mother like that. That’s not okay in this
house. You could’ve hurt someone, especially your sister. Do you understand?”
She nodded jerkily but Renee caught a nasty look just the same.
“Can you apologize?” he asked and she shook her head. As if understanding, he
patted her on the shoulder and said, “All right then, go on to your room and
think about what you’re so riled up about and maybe we can talk about it later.”
“I don’t want her here,” Alexis said in a low tone. “Please make her leave.”
At that Renee felt a section of her heart splinter and fall to pieces. Her
daughter hated her and that would probably never change. Tears blinded her as
she pressed a kiss to Chloe’s head and handed her to John. “I’ll see you
tomorrow morning,” she said, then added to Alexis, “I’m not leaving you girls
ever again. That’s a promise. You can be mad for as long as you want but that’s
not going to change the fact that I love you, Alexis. And deep down, you love
me, too.”
CHAPTER SIX
JOHN RESISTED THE URGE to follow Renee out but his eyes tracked her progress as
she drove out of the driveway.
He caught Gladys’s watchful stare and he couldn’t help the scowl that followed.
“Don’t start thinking there’s more to this than there is. There’s no rule that
says I can’t feel bad for the woman for the mess she’s created. I’m human, too.”
“Oh, stop your blathering. I never said anything. But no matter what you say I
think it was right decent of you to come to her rescue when Alexis flew at her
like that. I think her heart just about broke when Alexis reacted that way.”
“Yeah. I saw that. Think I should talk to Alexis?”
Gladys considered it for a moment and then shook her head. “No. I’d let her work
through it on her own. She’s got a deep well full of misery to deal with and we
don’t need to heap more on her plate. Besides, I think you got your point across
pretty good. If she doesn’t show up for dinner maybe you ought to check in on
her but until then, let’s just give her some space.”
John heaved a private sigh of relief. He didn’t know how to console an angry
little girl but he hated to see her so upset.
“She has a long road ahead of her with that child,” Gladys commented as she
packaged the remaining turnovers. “I don’t envy her.”
“That makes two of us,” he agreed. “You think she can change?”
Gladys shrugged. “Time will tell but I’m not holding my breath at the moment.
She’s got to adjust that attitude of hers or else she’s just going to spin her
wheels with Alexis.”
John glanced away, voicing his private thoughts on the subject. “There’s no
excuse for leaving your family behind.”
“You’re right about that and I know you know what that’s all about. Did you ever
forgive your father for leaving?”
“No.”
Gladys chuckled. “Didn’t think so. Like I said, that woman’s got a rough row to
hoe but in the meantime, we’ll be there to catch the girls before they fall this
time around.”
He shifted, hating how he’d somehow, unwittingly, wandered into emotional
territory. Gladys was a tricky one. Always had been. Probably why she and his
mom had been such tight friends. They were peas in a pod. She prodded at him and
he emitted a low groan as her point went straight home. “I’d be a liar if I said
I’ve never said or done anything I regret,” he admitted in a tight voice. “But I
don’t understand how a mother could leave her babies. Gladys, I don’t think I’ll
ever understand and if I can’t understand how is that little girl going to?”
“No one is asking you to figure things out for her. She’s a smart kid. She’ll do
that on her own. But,” Gladys sighed as if hating to agree with Renee on
anything, and then said, “in the meantime, she needs to be around her mother.”
“Renee suggested I hire her for help around the house with the girls. Said you
were too old.”
Gladys chuckled. “That woman’s got spunk, I’ll give her that. But as much as I
hate to admit it, these old bones are feeling the years piling up behind them,”
she admitted grudgingly. “I could use a hand around here. Chloe is a handful
even though she’s sweeter than freshly churned butter and I think she would love
to have her mama around. She doesn’t remember her very well and she harbors the
least amount of piss and vinegar. I think it would be smart for Renee to start
rebuilding with Chloe first. I’ll be here to smooth out the rough spots but
she’s right. I am a bit long in the tooth to be chasing after a toddler while
the other girls are in school.”
John heaved a heavy sigh and nodded. “I guess I could fix up the guesthouse.
Although I hate the idea of harboring that woman on my property,” he added with
a glower. “Frankly, if it weren’t something the girls probably need to get over
this mess, I’d tell her to pound sand. I don’t give a shit about her feelings in
this.”
“What about the court stuff?”
“Oh, Sheriff Casey isn’t going to make a stink over anything as long as those
girls are safe and happy. Besides, the order doesn’t say anything about Renee
keeping her distance or anything. I suppose as long as everyone is happy, no one
needs to be the wiser.”
“So it’s settled, then? Renee is moving in?” Gladys’s mouth firmed, no more
happy about it than John but willing to see it through for the girls’ sake just
like him.
“I suppose she is.” He walked from the kitchen, his pace brisk, but not even his
quickened step could keep him from the realization that he was about to invite
more complications into his life and if the warning tingle in his gut was any
indication, he might’ve just changed his life forever.
RENEE WALKED WITH TAYLOR’S hand firmly in her own as Alexis practically jogged
three steps ahead with John and Chloe somewhere in between.
“I don’t want you walking me to class,” Alexis declared, looking pointedly at
Renee before continuing with strong purposeful steps toward the entrance.
Renee looked down at Taylor. “How about you?”
“You can walk me to class if you want to, I suppose,” Taylor answered. “You can
show me where these picture books are that you were talking about.”
“Deal.”
The school was an old brick building with a bell at the top, a remnant of when
the school was first built in the late 1800s, and it looked right out of an
episode of Little House on the Prairie.
“Do you think that bell still works?” Taylor asked.
“I don’t know but we can ask your teacher,” Renee said, smiling.
She glanced up at John and wondered if this was where he went to school. He
seemed to know his way around well enough as they went straight to the front
office and a few people even nodded in surprise at seeing him there.
“Old school chums?” Renee surmised once she’d caught up to him.
“I guess you could say that,” John answered, but didn’t elaborate further. Talk
about a man of little words. If he strung together more than two sentences in a
row she’d fall over in shock. Grumbling to herself, she kept the rest of her
annoyed thoughts silent as the principal greeted them.
“John Murphy? I haven’t seen you in awhile but I do know you don’t have kids.
Who do I have the pleasure of meeting?”
Before John could answer, Renee piped in, saying, “They’re mine. We’re just
staying with John at the ranch for now. Renee Dolling, pleased to meet you,
Mr….”
“Curtis Meany,” he answered with a broad smile, coming forward to envelope her
hand in a firm handshake. “Don’t let the name fool you, I’m really a softie at
heart. If I’m not careful these students run all over me. Are you from around
here? I don’t recall the name.”
“No, we’re new.” Renee smiled and left it at that. She didn’t want to go into
details and ruin this nice man’s impression of her. It was hard enough dealing
with John much less another judgmental local. “My girls, Alexis and Taylor, are
starting classes today.”
“Yes, here are their teachers’ names and classroom numbers. If you have any
questions or concerns, my door is always open. Good to see you again, John.”
“Curt.” John inclined his head and then gesturing for the paper in Renee’s hand,
said, “Let’s get this show on the road. I have a horse coming in an hour.”
“You can go if you like,” Renee offered and was mildly surprised when he frowned
in response. “If you’re in a hurry…”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You implied.”
He started to say something but then thought better of it and snapped his mouth
shut. “Perhaps I did.”
Renee smiled down at Taylor. “Let’s go find your teacher, shall we?”
She didn’t wait for John nor did she try to convince Alexis to let her walk her
to class, as well. She knew her daughter well enough to know any attempt at this
point would be rudely rebuffed. She’d have to let Alexis come to her. She fought
back a well of fear when she considered the very real possibility that that day
might never come and instead focused on the happy start she was being granted
with her middle daughter.
JOHN WATCHED AS RENEE LED Taylor to her new classroom. To look at them one would
never guess their circumstances. Renee looked every part the doting mother, her
eyes fairly shone with love and adoration that John was almost apt to believe,
if not for the reminder of Renee’s defection standing beside him wearing a
fierce scowl.
“She seems to be trying,” John noted, almost to himself but it was really
directed toward Alexis. She took the bait quite readily.
Alexis snorted. “My mom used to want to be an actress. You shouldn’t believe a
word she says. She’s a good liar.” And then she adjusted her pack and stomped in
the direction of her new classroom.
An actress? It shocked him but then again…it didn’t. She was sure pretty enough
to fill a big screen. That blond-hair-blue-eye combination was a killer. Not to
mention those curves…John shifted on the balls of his feet wondering where his
mind was going and who gave it permission to wander like that.
Renee returned a short time later, a warm glow suffusing her expression that was
nearly contagious.
“She settled in all right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I think she’s going to have fun. Taylor has an adventurous spirit. She’s
game for anything that can hook her interest. But then you’ve probably already
figured that out about her.”
He had. It was one of Taylor’s more endearing qualities. “She’s got a sharp
mind. I think school will be a good challenge for her.”
Renee nodded and they walked out the front doors. The children quickly dispersed
as they ran to their individual classes when the bell rang. Once at their
vehicles, John climbed into his truck and then stopped to call out to Renee.
“Yeah?” she asked, her brow furrowing subtly as she regarded him warily.
“If you’re still interested in the job, I suppose it’s available.”
“You’re saying that you’re willing to hire me to help out with my kids?” There
was a sparkle in her eyes that he couldn’t help but catch and it made him bite
back what he might’ve said to her clever comment. She didn’t give him a chance
to rescind the offer and quickly jumped. “Sounds perfect. When can I move in?”
John startled at the gooseflesh that rioted up and down his arm. He swallowed.
Moving in. It created a wealth of imagery that made his heartbeat thud
painfully. Scowling, he said, “Since you’re in an all-fired hurry, I suppose
Friday is fine.”
“Friday?” Her expression fell. “But it’s only Monday. I was hoping—”
“I know what you were hoping but the guesthouse won’t be ready for anyone until
then. It’s the soonest I can accommodate you into my schedule. It should go
without saying that I still have a job to do and it doesn’t include making room
for yet another Dolling. You get me? Take it or leave it.”
He winced privately at how surly he sounded. Damn, if he didn’t sound like a
cantankerous old fart but she rubbed him the wrong way in the worst way. She had
no business looking the way she did and coming around as if she was pretending
to care when John knew full well she hadn’t cared when it mattered to those
little girls. Right? Ah, great. Talking to yourself now, he mentally chastised
himself. John’s lips pressed against one another and he figured that was the
smartest thing he could do at this point—keep his damn mouth shut.
“Friday, 8 a.m. sharp. Don’t be late.” He slammed the truck door, eager to get
the hell away from her and his confused thoughts.
CHAPTER SEVEN
RENEE RETURNED TO THE HOTEL, her mind buzzing and her heart full of hope for the
future. Taylor was the key to breaching the wall Alexis had built around them.
She didn’t blame Alexis for her attitude even if it hurt. Of all the kids,
Alexis remembered many details that were lost to Taylor and unknown to Chloe.
Renee rubbed her palm across her stinging eyes and fought back the bad memories
that always threatened to surface when she wasn’t being vigilant enough.
The fights. The screaming. And the alcohol. Always a lot of that around the
Dolling house. It became her way of coping with a failed life and living with a
man she didn’t love any longer. She’d had such big dreams as a kid. But Jason
Dolling had been persuasive and her hormones had been listening. She couldn’t
regret everything that happened during their life together. Her girls were the
shining example that even when everything else was going to shit, there was
always something to be grateful for.
She wished she could take every bad memory from her daughter’s mind but that
wasn’t an option. All she could do was be there and promise their lives would be
different. And that was something she could do without reservation.
Getting sober hadn’t been the easiest thing in the world but she’d had really
solid motivation. She never tried to compare her journey to that of others
because they’re never the same or even comparable. Renee had definitely come to
appreciate that old saying, Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his
shoes, because when she’d made the decision to get sober at first it was natural
to assume others had it easier or harder, take your pick, but she’d learned
quickly not to judge. She’d seen lawyers and doctors sitting side by side with
drug addicts and no one had it easy.
She’d been no different—and no worse.
But to explain to a child the reasons why her mother left…were there words in
the English language that would ever convey the reason in a way a child would
understand? Renee didn’t know but she desperately wanted to find out. Alexis was
her soldier, her first born. She’d bonded to that girl from the moment she came
screaming into the world, her lusty squall a balm to Renee’s young heart, the
calm in the storm that surrounded her and Jason.
Taylor was the let’s-try-and-save-the-marriage baby. And by the time Chloe
arrived…well, the marriage had been over before she was conceived. Yet, Renee
had stayed. Drinking her failure away with her two solid friends, Jack Daniels
and Jim Beam and the occasional visit by Captain Morgan on holidays.
So many bad choices. A lifetime, really. Was she poised at the precipice of yet
another bad Renee Dolling decision? She just wanted her kids back so they could
get back to their lives.
But then what? Her chest tightened with panic and uncertainty. She’d been so
focused on finding the girls she didn’t actually have a plan as to where they’d
go from there. Renee’s mother had always called her flighty. So far, she hadn’t
proven the woman wrong and the time was past to do so. Her mother had long since
written her off as a daughter. So now she only had herself and her children to
prove something to.
But it was enough. She wouldn’t let the girls down. That was a promise. Friday
couldn’t come soon enough in her book.
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий