Abigail Gordon - [Willowmere Village 01] - Christmas at Willowmere p.03

‘It is a beautiful lady in a long white dress,’ she’d told her, ‘who is marrying a man like your daddy
because she loves him.’

‘Was Mummy a beautiful bride?’

‘Yes, she was,’ James had told her gently.

‘When are you going to be a bride, Anna?’ had been her next question.

‘When I find someone as nice as your daddy?’ she’d said lightly.

But when she’d met James’s glance it had been grave and he’d said quietly, ‘From out of the
mouths of babes, Anna.’

That had been upsetting enough but Polly still hadn’t finished. She’d had one more thing to say and
it had been a corker. ‘Can’t you be Dr Glenn’s bride, Anna? He hasn’t got anybody to love him.’

‘I think I hear Jolyon calling you, Polly,’ James had said hurriedly.

Quite unaware that she’d just hit the nail on the head, the little girl had skipped off to see what her
brother was up to, and when she’d gone Anna had said tonelessly, ‘If only it was that simple,
James. Glenn wants a family and I can’t give him one.’

‘So you haven’t told him?’

‘No. I can’t force him into a corner where he has to choose between me and having children.’

‘He might just wish you had if he ever finds out,’ he’d warned. ‘You’re not being exactly fair to
him.’

She’d had nothing to say to that and had just shaken her head dejectedly. Of course, Polly had
spoken in childish innocence. Of course, James wanted only what was best for her, she’d told
herself as she’d changed into her clothes for the wedding, but why did she feel as if she was being
badgered from all sides by those she loved? She was quite capable of sorting out her own life…or
was she?

And now Glenn, who didn’t miss a thing where she was concerned, was tuning into her low spirits,
asking what was wrong. Not wanting him to think it was anything he’d done, she’d used the
weather as a trite reason for being low key compared to how she’d been that morning.

The warm welcome they received from the wedding party when they joined them wiped away the
blues and Anna found her mood lightening with every second as they stood beside a large bonfire
and smelt the succulence of roasting meat.

Glenn was close beside her and every time she felt his glance on her she smiled up at him, the
dancing flames of the fire reflected in her eyes. She was wishing that she hadn’t let him tune into
her earlier melancholy. The occasion may have belonged to Montrose and Tabitha, but these were
special moments for the two of them as well. They were together and in the joy of it she didn’t want
either the past or the future to intrude.

Tabitha was dressed in a wedding gown similar to those Anna had seen in the magazine that time
and Montrose was in a black jacket with a cut-away front, white embroidered shirt, a bright
neckerchief, and tight black trousers to finish the ensemble.

As the bridal couple made their vows in front of them all and Marco watched from inside the
caravan, there was silence from the onlookers as they each said just a Sh sfro few simple words,
declaring their love and promising to be faithful.

Once it was over the men blew their noses, the women wiped their eyes and the musicians struck up
from behind as the festivities began. A roasted pig had been lifted off the spit and large platters of
fried potatoes and vegetables stuffed with meat and herbs were passed round as the pork was carved
by two of the men.



When Anna and Glenn went to congratulate the newlyweds, Tabitha smiled shyly and Montrose
thanked them for the gift and said to Glenn, ‘Thank you also for taking care of my father.’

He smiled. ‘I was only doing my job.’

Anna and Glenn had enjoyed the food and drank the wine and now they were dancing a lively jig
around the fire with other energetic members of the wedding guests. The frosty night on the edge of
the warm circle that encompassed them was forgotten, Everything was centred on the fire and the
music and as Glenn held her close while they danced he knew that he could never contemplate a life
without her.

But he was aware that she wasn’t prepared to take up where they’d left off when he’d first gone to
Africa. She had been the one to end their relationship on that ghastly day when he’d come to find
out why she hadn’t kept to her promise to join him, and now that he’d come to Willowmere for one
last time and seen what her life was like it seemed obvious that it was the children that had kept her
there.

She’d told him at the time about the accident where she’d been injured and James’s wife had been
killed, but she had seemed to have made a full recovery and he’d taken it all at face value. Maybe
he shouldn’t have, but Anna’s determination to end their relationship had been unmistakable and
he’d left with the future a bleak and empty place.

‘Hey!’ she said laughingly, bringing him back to earth. ‘What are you thinking about? You’ve gone
all serious.’

‘Sorry,’ he said. Quickening his step he smiled down at her and whirled her round and round in the
firelight until she was breathless. When the music stopped he said softly, ‘Are you happy, Anna,
really happy in the life you lead?’

‘Yes. Most of the time,’ she said slowly, resisting the desire to tell him that happiness came in
different shapes and depths, and if he was asking if she ever reached the heights of it the answer
was no, not for a long time anyway.

They were coming round with the food again and their glasses were being refilled, and to her relief
the moment of questioning passed.

The wedding celebrations were still in full swing when they left at just before midnight, and would
go on for a few days until someone called a halt. At that point Tabitha’s womenfolk would unbraid
her hair before her new husband took her to live with his parents in their caravan, and her motherin-
law would cover her head with the scarf that she must now always wear in public.

‘That was fantastic,’ Glenn said as they strolled home beneath the same winter moon that had been
reflected in the lake on the night that he’d found her there in solitary contemplation.

ed "0em" width="1em" align="justify">‘Mmm, it was,’ she murmured dreamily. ‘The gypsies have
some lovely customs, don’t they?’

‘Such as this,’ he said laughingly as he took her in his arms and danced her along the main street of
the village, past the fairy-lights in the windows of the cottages, past the giant Christmas tree in the
square where the surgery was, and up the path of the place she called home.

As they faced each other breathlessly at her door Anna wanted to stay in his arms for ever, with
everything open and truthful between them. But it was still there, the fear that he would want to
marry her out of concern rather than desire if she ever told him what had happened to her.

Sensing that she was retreating behind the wariness that never seemed to go away, he kissed her just
once with a tenderness and passion that made her bones melt and then, releasing her, said, ‘Love
and marriage are so simple for the people we’ve just been with. I wish it was that easy for you and
I.’ And she thought he had no idea how near the truth he was.

Taking the door key out of her hand, he unlocked the door of the annexe and as she stepped inside



he said, ‘Thanks for a wonderful experience.’ And went striding off to where Bracken House stood
in the darkness of the midnight hour.

As she bolted the door behind him Anna thought that Glenn had made no attempt to follow her into
the place where they could have been alone and private, but perhaps it was just as well. When he’d
danced her home the night had been charged with romance and desire and it would have been so
easy to forget everything but their need of each other.

Releasing the clasp of the bright shawl she’d worn, she draped it over the back of a chair and went
into the kitchen to make a hot drink, and when she looked out of the window he was standing
motionless beneath the streetlamp as if reluctant to go into his temporary accommodation. When
she looked again he’d gone and, taking the drink with her, she went slowly up to bed.

Clare Halliday’s results from her blood tests were back on Monday morning and Anna thought if
Georgina’s expression was anything to go by as she studied them there was distress ahead for the
owner of the art gallery. As if to give substance to the premonition, Georgina asked one of the
receptionists to ring Clare and ask her to come in as soon as possible.

The two nurses exchanged glances and when they were alone Beth said, ‘Whatever it is that’s
wrong, Clare can do without it at this moment in time. Her mother is very demanding and difficult
to deal with. If she has a serious health problem, I don’t know how she’ll cope.’

They were getting ready for the antenatal clinic at the time and Clare’s problems were shelved for a
while as the young mothers and a radiant Maggie Timmins came to be checked over by Georgina
and helped by the nurses with any worries they might have.

When Anna told the poultry farmer’s wife that her blood pressure was up, she groaned in dismay
and asked, ‘So what do I have to do to bring it down?’

‘Rest, rest and more rest,’ she told her firmly.

‘All Stifst right,’ she agreed, ‘but it won’t be easy. There is always so much to do on the farm.’

‘Yes, I know,’ Anna said, ‘but you’ll just have to ignore it. If your blood pressure goes any higher,
we might have to admit you to hospital for complete bed rest until the birth. Hypertension later in
the pregnancy is one of the causes of pre-eclampsia, which can be life-threatening.’

‘But I’m only four months,’ she protested.

‘Yes, I know, but we still can’t ignore high blood pressure, even at this stage. You don’t want
anything to happen to your baby, do you?’

‘Heaven forbid!’ she exclaimed. ‘Josh is thrilled at the thought of having a baby brother or sister,
and Bryan is falling over himself to make a nursery out of the smallest bedroom.’

‘So feet up,’ Anna told her. ‘We are going to make sure they aren’t disappointed.’

As the last of the mothers-to-be was leaving, Glenn was coming back from his home visits and he
waved as he went into his room. They’d met briefly first thing during the breakfast rush but neither
had referred to Saturday’s events.

Anna because every time she thought about how he’d danced her through the village and his
farewell kiss she went weak at the knees, and he had the sort of look about him that said that had
been Saturday and today was another day.

She wasn’t to know that he too hadn’t stopped thinking about the wedding and afterwards.

When she’d gone in at breakfast-time to get the children ready for school he’d been in the shower
and she’d asked James if Glenn had mentioned the wedding. ‘Only briefly,’ he’d said, ‘but I took it
that it had been quite something. We’ve been discussing the practice mostly over the weekend and
Glenn has been telling me about his time abroad. He mentioned that you were just as keen as he was
at the time. I do wish I’d known. You should have told me.’



‘It didn’t matter,’ she’d said flatly. ‘I was needed here, in case you’ve forgotten.’

He’d smiled apologetically. ‘Of course I haven’t forgotten. Having you here saved my sanity, but
you deserve to fulfill your dreams just as much as anyone else. If you just said the word, maybe it
would be your own wedding you’d be going to, and people in need of medical aid around the world
would welcome the two of you with open arms.’

She’d been uptight then. ‘There is a certain matter of a major operation I had to have at that time,
which is one of the reasons why I can’t do that. And what about the children?’ As he’d stared at her
in dismay because he’d upset her, she’d asked, ‘Is their dinner money ready?’ Then, regretting her
momentary annoyance, she went on, ‘I’m sorry, James. It must be the Monday morning blues that
are getting to me.’

‘I’m sorry too,’ he’d said mildly, ‘but all I want is that you should be happy, and how do you know
that Glenn won’t be able to cope with you being unable to give him children?’

She’d sighed. ‘You have your answer to that in the way he is with yours. Can you imagine what he
would be like with children of his own?’

And now as she and Beth cleared away after the clinic and Clare came hurrying through the main
doors with her face a white mask of anxiety, the memory of what James had said was still there in
her mind.

It wasn’t until the children came out of school that reason asserted itself. Their faces lit up as they
always did when they saw her waiting. Life was good, life was normal, she told herself as she
hugged them to her and, as sometimes happened, she had a sense of Julie’s presence nearby, gentle
and reassuring.

She wished they could have a chat, she thought sombrely, so that she could tell the sister-in-law that
she’d loved so much how her heartstrings were being pulled in so many ways.



CHAPTER EIGHT


WHEN Anna and the children arrived at Bracken House, Clare was leaving the surgery after her
consultation with Georgina, and with head bowed and shoulders drooping she was the picture of
dejection.

She looked up as the children’s chatter drifted across and managed a smile as the three of them
approached.

‘So how did it go, Clare?’ Anna asked in low-voiced concern.

‘Dr Adams is arranging for me to see an oncologist,’ she said in flat tones. ‘There are indications
that I might have ovarian cancer. I hope they don’t keep me waiting too long before I get a
diagnosis.’

‘Oh, dear, that is upsetting news!’ Anna commiserated. ‘But try to think positive until they have
something definite to tell you, and if it is what they think it might be, cancer treatments are
improving by the minute. What are you going to tell your mother?’

‘Nothing, I think, until I know for sure. I brought Mum to live with me so that I could look after
her. A lot of use I’m going to be if I have to have surgery and chemotherapy.’

‘Clare, you have friends here who will want to be there for you, me for one, so take comfort from
that, and as Christmas is so near, try to put every other thought from your mind but the pleasant
ones. You have the best voice of all of us when we go carol singing, we can’t manage without you.’

The off-the-cuff therapy seemed to be working as Clare’s expression brightened at the compliment.
‘I won’t let you down,’ she promised, ‘and, please, don’t mention my problem to anyone, will you?’

‘No, of course not,’ she assured her, and as they each went their separate ways she thought that ill
health and sadness didn’t disappear just because it was Christmas.

That was the downbeat part of the day. When Anna answered the doorbell shortly after they’d eaten
their evening meal, she was delighted to see Beth’s daughter, Jess, standing in the porch, smiling at
her. Vr t

Jess had a carrier bag with her and whispered, ‘Presents for Polly and Jolly. Where shall I put
them?’

Anna opened the door of a nearby cupboard and said, ‘In there. They’ll be here in a moment if
they’ve heard your voice.’

The children were thrilled to see Jess again, and while she played patiently with them she brought
Anna and James up to date with what was going on in her life.

‘I’m still looking for a job,’ she told them, ‘and have had a few offers, but none of them are local
and I don’t want to move away, so I’m leaving it until after Christmas now, which means if you
need a sitter I’ll be available.’

‘What about next week when the children have finished school for the Christmas holiday?’ James
suggested. ‘It would allow Anna to be at the surgery instead of having to take time off, and would
help your finances, Jess.’

‘Yes!’ she said immediately. ‘That would be great. I could cover the week after Christmas too if
you want, and then I really will have to get organised on the job scene.’

While Jess was upstairs with the children James said, ‘I hope you didn’t mind me snapping Jess up
for the next two weeks and bringing you into the surgery. It seemed a shame not to take advantage
of her being free.’

‘No, of course I don’t mind,’ she told him. ‘It will be some extra practice for Jess before she starts
work. And like you said it means some extra money for her over the holiday.’



He nodded. ‘When she finds herself a job, some children somewhere will be very fortunate.’

As the night of the Mistletoe Ball drew near, Anna thought it was turning out to be a strange week
full of highs and lows. Clare’s worrying condition and Glenn’s restrained manner every time they
met at the surgery or during the breakfast rush were amongst the lows, while Jess’s appearance
came top of the highs.

When she was about to collect the children on Friday afternoon he said, as if it had been the main
topic of conversation between them during the week, ‘What time shall I call for you tomorrow?’

Feigning puzzlement she asked, ‘Why, are we going somewhere?’

There was a glint in the dark blue gaze looking into hers that told her he’d got the message, and
unperturbed he said, ‘Surely you haven’t forgotten. You are going to the ball, Cinderella.’

‘Oh, that. You got the tickets then?’

‘I would have said if I hadn’t,’ he informed her dryly. ‘So what time shall I call for you?’

The low-key approach wasn’t working, he thought. It was something he’d decided on after the
gypsy wedding in the hope that a lack of response on his part might bring what was in Anna’s mind
out into the open. The wedding had been the sort of occasion that dreams were made of, but there
was still that same caution in her manner whenever they got close, and he wished he could get to the
bottom of it.

["0euti

The more he saw of it the more he felt that James and the children weren’t the cause of it. Maybe it
was just him who didn’t fit into her permanent scheme of things. That he was all right to have
around but that she hadn’t changed her mind about what she’d said to him when she’d told him it
was over.

But it was agony being aloof and it certainly wasn’t bringing Anna flying into his arms. He’d
probably blown it and she’d decided not to go. So where did they go from this point?

But she was saying, ‘Eight o’clock, if that’s all right with you.’

‘Fine,’ he said with assumed easiness. ‘I’m looking forward to giving the dress suit an airing,’ and
went back to his patients.

It being Christmas and the last day of term, the children came out of school holding Christmas cards
that they’d made for James and herself and clutching the presents they’d been given by Santa, the
elderly school caretaker who had dressed for the occasion. Suddenly the realisation of how near it
was hit her.

All the things that she loved about this time of year in Willowmere were about to happen. The ball
tomorrow night was the first and there was no way she wanted to put the blight on that for the two
of them because of her confused feelings about Glenn.

James had the chance to go with them now that Jess was available and she wished he would. His
social life was almost non-existent. She suggested it when he came in at the end of the day but he
said, ‘No. I haven’t got a partner, for one thing. I had some offers but didn’t take them up. All I
want is for you to enjoy yourself with Glenn.’

There was a dress in the wardrobe that she hadn’t yet worn with a cream strapless bodice and a full
black skirt with cream flounces around the hemline. She’d been saving it for something special and
couldn’t think of a more fitting occasion than the Mistletoe Ball.

It would be another time when she was pretending that all was right between them and she knew it
couldn’t go on. That sooner or later Glenn would want to know where they were heading, but not
tonight, she prayed. Please, not tonight.



When Glenn came for her he was carrying an oblong box and as she stepped back to let him in he
said, ‘I took the liberty of bringing you a corsage. I didn’t know what you’d be wearing so thought
that cream roses would be the safest thing. Now I see that it was an inspired guess.’

As she opened the box and looked down at the flowers inside, the uncertainties of the last few days
disappeared, and when she raised her head and met his glance she was happy to see that his
coolness of the past week had gone.

‘The dress is stunning,’ he said. ‘Is it new?’

‘I’ve had it a while but never worn it,’ she told him. ‘I’ve been waiting for the right moment. And
by the way, the suit looks all right.’

He looked more than ‘all right’, she thought. There would be a few heads turning when they
presented themselves at the ball, and they would be aimed in his direction rather tha [on uldn hers.

When she lifted the corsage out of the box he said, ‘Shall I fasten it on for you? I’ve got some large
pins.’ When she nodded, overcome by the unexpectedness of the moment, he pointed out, ‘We do
have a problem, though. There are no straps or shoulder pieces to fasten it to. Shall I fix it
horizontally across the top of the bodice?’

‘Yes, whatever you think best,’ she agreed, as if she was incapable of fixing it herself, and as he did
as he’d suggested, she tried to ignore his touch against the top of her breasts as he pinned it from the
inside.

‘Sorry about that,’ he said, as if her awareness of his hands against her body had been noted.
‘Another time I would need to check out the dress before I order the flowers.’

Would there be another time? she wondered as he took the stole that matched the dress from her,
draped it around her shoulders, then swivelled her round to face him. As their eyes met, his guard
was down. She saw what she wanted to see there.

But as if on cue the doorbell rang once more and this time it was James and the children come to
wish them a nice time at the ball, and when they’d gone so had the moment that they’d broken into.

As soon as they stepped out of the door Anna and Glenn could hear the music coming from the
marquee on the school playing fields, and as they walked the short distance along with others going
in the same direction, she was smiling at the thought of how different the music would be the
following night when the band struck up with the age-old carols that people loved so much.

Glenn had seen the smile and asked, ‘What’s amusing you?’ He’d placed her hand in the crook of
his arm in case it was icy underfoot, and as he looked down at her he was wondering just how long
he could keep up the pretence of being content to be on the edge of her life when he ached for her
so much.

‘I was thinking that tonight the music is going to be for ballroom and modern dancing,’ she
explained. ‘In sharp contrast tomorrow night, we’ll have the brass band playing carols.’

‘I am really looking forward to that,’ he declared. ‘If I hadn’t lost my trumpet, I’d be asking if I
could join them.’

‘Yes, it’s a shame,’ she said. She’d been late-night shopping on her own the other night and had
bought a trumpet that was as near to the one he’d lost as she could get, and once that had been done
had asked Jack from the post office, who was in charge of the band, if Glenn might join in the
practice they would be having in the afternoon before the carol singing.

‘Aye!’ he’d said. ‘We’re short on trumpets since the Belshaw brothers retired to the seaside.’

‘I’ve bought him one as a gift,’ she’d told him. ‘It’s going to be a surprise. His original instrument
was lost while he was abroad.’

‘Eh, up!’ he’d exclaimed. ‘That’s some present. How did you know what to get?’



She’d laughed. ‘We were a threesome once—Glenn, me and his trumpet.’

‘Ah, I see,’ he’d said meaningfully, and she’d become serious.

‘Don’t read anything into it, Jack. We’re just friends from way back.’

‘That’s a pity. The wife thinks he’s a big improvement on the male talent in the village and says if
she was twenty years younger…’

‘Although he’s enchanted with Willowmere, Glenn is drawn to working abroad. He may not be
with us long.’ She’d said it lightly, yet the mere thought of him disappearing out of her life again
was unbearable.

If the accident hadn’t happened, Julie would have been there for her children and she, Anna, would
have been able to give Glenn the family that he longed for. She would have joined him in Africa as
arranged and they would have been married by now, maybe already with children of their own.

Why was nothing ever simple? she’d wondered as she’d gone home to gift-wrap the shining
instrument.

This time as they danced it was a more sedate exercise than the jigs around the fire at the gypsy
wedding, and as the evening progressed, with friends and acquaintances all around them, Glenn
thought that, apart from her feeling of responsibility towards the children, there was this closely
bound community that Anna would never want to leave to work in a foreign country. He didn’t set
such store on himself as to imagine she would give all this up for him.

He knew that eyes were on them, that people must be wondering what was going on between Anna
and the new doctor, and if they should ask, the answer was not a lot.

Georgina was there with a blond guy that she seemed to be on good terms with. Beth and her
husband had just swayed past, doing a tango, and Bill Bradshaw, the farmer who’d sold Anna the
tree and had since been to consult him about a prostate problem, was there with his wife. And
everywhere amongst the festive gathering was mistletoe, the kissing bough.

Lots of folk were laughingly taking advantage of the opportunity to exchange Christmas kisses
beneath the smooth green leaves with their clusters of white berries, and to his surprise Anna
reached up and kissed him fleetingly when they passed beneath them while dancing.

‘What have I done to deserve that?’ he asked in a low voice.

‘It was just to say merry Christmas,’ she said lightly.

And he thought wryly, In other words, don’t get any wrong ideas.

He didn’t dance her through the village as they returned home this time. They moved sedately
amongst the homeward-bound throng and when they reached her door she said, ‘Would you like to
come inside for a moment?’

‘Why would you want me to do that?’ he asked.

‘You’ll understand when you do.’ Taking his hand, she pulled him into the lighted hallway and
through into the sitting room, where he stood observing her questioningly.

‘I have something for you,’ she said. ‘If you’ll excuse me for a second, I’ll go and get it.’

‘Er, yes,’ he replied, taken aback. ‘Though I can’t think what it could be.’

She was smiling. ‘That is how I want you to feel. Close your eyes and don’t open them until I say
so.’

He heard her leave the room and seconds later she was back and telling him, ‘You can open them
now.’ As he did so she thrust a bulky package into his hands and said, ‘Happy Christmas, Glenn.’

‘Thank you, Anna,’ he said slowly, ‘but why so soon?’



‘Open it and you’ll find out why.’

When he saw the trumpet shining brassily up at him in its case he was dumbstruck and for a few
seconds there was silence until, finding his voice, he said huskily, ‘You bought this for me, and
gave it to me now so that I can play tomorrow if they’ll have me.’

‘They’ll have you all right,’ she assured him. ‘Once they hear you play, the band with think that
Christmas has come early for them as well.’

He was stroking the shining metal with loving fingers. ‘This is the nicest, kindest thing anyone has
ever done for me, Anna, and I assure you that wherever I am, this will never get lost because you
gave it to me.’

‘So you really aren’t intending to stay?’ she asked, tears pricking as the moment lost its magic.

He bent and kissed her brow. ‘Whatever happens I want us to have this Christmas together, and
when, or I should say if you hear me play with the band tomorrow, I will be playing for you alone.’

He called late on Sunday afternoon and said triumphantly, ‘I’ve just been to the band practice and
will be playing with them tonight. They’ve accepted me on a temporary basis after I explained that I
wasn’t sure how long I was going to be around. Great stuff, eh, Anna?’

‘Yes, if it makes you happy,’ she told him, touched by his enthusiasm but with a heavy heart. ‘Are
you going to the candlelit service first?’

‘Yes, of course. What about you and the family?’

‘We’ll be there. The children are going to stay up late for once, but James will bring them home
after the service. It will be a few years before they’re old enough to go carol singing.’

He turned away. She was referring to the future, a future that wouldn’t include him, and he couldn’t
face the role of onlooker for the rest of his life.

When he’d found Anna still living in Willowmere and leading a very different kind of life to his,
he’d thought he would be able to wait until she turned to him even if it took for ever. But it wasn’t
turning out as easy as that and he’d decided that he was going to live for the moment and if that and
the trumpet were all he had to take with him when he left, it would have to be enough.

The old stone church was packed for the special service that always filled its pews and as the five of
them sat together, waiting for it to start, Anna thought that everyone she loved was there beside her.

There was James, patient and loving, next to Pollyanna, who was wide-eyed and excited to see the
crib in front of the altar and the many candles flickering. Beside her was Jolyon, trying to keep
awake, and on Anna’s other side was the man who had come back into her life and given it
meaning. Glenn, strong, caring, needing her, wanting her, yet she couldn’t say the words in her
heart.

‘There’s Jess waving to us,’ Polly said, bringing Anna’s thoughts back to the moment, and as they
waved back she saw Clare and her mother seated nearby.

When she smiled across, her mother nodded graciously and Anna wondered how she would cope if
her daughter’s fears were realised. But tonight was about happier things than that, and as Clare’s
voice rang out amongst the carol singers later in the evening, maybe she would be able to forget
everything but the pleasure of singing.

As the service progressed, Anna turned to look at the man by her side and there was such warmth in
the glance meeting hers that she felt like weeping for all the time they’d lost.

‘What?’ he asked in a low voice when he saw that her eyes were moist.

‘Nothing,’ she whispered back. ‘I was just thinking about us, that’s all.’

‘And it makes you cry? That is the last thing I would want.’



‘Maybe,’ she parried, ‘but we don’t always get what we want, do we?’

James had taken the children home, the hot mince pies and coffee at the vicarage had been enjoyed,
and now Glenn had gone to join the band assembling outside in readiness for the march around the
village to play for those who hadn’t been able to get to the service.

The carol singers were carrying lanterns to light up the hymn sheets they were holding and as a
waning moon shone down onto the brass of the instruments and cast shadows along the way, the
spirit of Christmas was all around them.

Every time they stopped outside a house Anna’s glance was on Glenn, with the trumpet to his lips,
and she smiled. At least she’d done one thing to bring him joy.

As the words and music sounded out on the frosty night air she knew that the only thing she would
ever want to leave this enchanted place for would be to fulfill her dream of going to help the less
fortunate people of the world with Glenn by her side, but that was not on her agenda, it couldn’t be,
though it might be on his.

They’d been asked to sing at one of the farms and had been plied with mulled wine and hotpot, and
Glenn’s continuing introduction to country life had once again had him amazed. ‘I can’t believe
how hospitable the people in Willowmere are,’ he said as they walked home after the singing was
over.

‘You should see the show of strength when one of us has sick [f uht=ness or sorrow to contend
with, or is lonely or hurt,’ she told him. ‘As soon as the news gets around, everyone rallies, anxious
to do all they can to make life more bearable. So you see what you’ll be missing if you don’t stay,’
she said lightly.

‘I know what I’ll be missing,’ he told her, ‘and it won’t just be the community spirit that I see
everywhere I go. But let’s not get onto a taboo subject.

Tonight has been another fantastic occasion. Everything about it has been great, and I owe it all to
you, Anna. Not only that, I’ve played the trumpet again for the first time in ages, and you were
there to hear me play. What more could I ask?’

They were home. Any moment Glenn was going to leave her again and she didn’t want him to, but
he surprised her by saying, ‘How about inviting me in for a hot toddy or something similarly
warming?’ As she stepped back to let him in he said, ‘The frost tonight is intense. Do you think the
lake will freeze over this winter?’

‘It might. I’ve skated on it a few times and it’s exhilarating, but one has to watch out for a sudden
thaw, it can be dangerous then.’

‘I wouldn’t mind having a go if it does freeze,’ he said.

‘James has some spare skates you could borrow.’

‘I’ll bear that in mind.’

They were chatting easily enough, Anna thought, in these intimate moments together as they sipped
the warming liquid and she said, ‘You know the band won’t let you go now that they’ve heard you
play. It was like old times, watching and listening to you.’

He was smiling. ‘I don’t know how you put up with me in those days.’

‘Rubbish! It was great,’ she told him, and didn’t confess that ever since she’d sent him away, she’d
wanted to weep buckets every time she heard a trumpet played. Until today, that was.

Glenn was getting to his feet and the magical night was about to end. Anna knew she had only to
say the word and he would stay. They would make love and it would like it used to be, passionate
and tender, but it would be giving him hope where there wasn’t any, and she couldn’t do that to
him.



When she arrived at the surgery on Monday morning, he observed her questioningly. ‘Who have
you left the children with?’ he asked.

‘Jess,’ she told him. ‘James asked her if she would mind them for this week and next so that I could
be here, and she was keen to do so.’ She was taking in the scene before her. ‘What’s happening
here? I see that we have a very full waiting room.’

‘Georgina has booked a couple of days off to do some Christmas shopping, so that is slowing things
down, plus coughs and colds seem to be the order of the day, which makes your presence most
welcome.’

It was welcome any time, he was thinking, but even more so today. He’d resigned himself to not
seeing much of Anna in these last few days before Christmas and here she was, already calling in
her first patient from outside the nurses’ room, and he returned to his own duties with a smile on his
face.

When he went outside to start his home visits the sky was grey, clouds were lower over the peaks
and the cold was intense. He’d strolled down to the lake first thing before presenting himself at the
surgery and had seen that there was still some slight movement of the water, but if the cold
increased there was a chance that it would freeze over.

On a bleak winter morning Willow Lake had not been at its best and one of the council workmen
that he’d found festooning the trees around it with fairy lights had said, ‘It’ll look better tonight,
when these are switched on.’

No doubt it would, he’d thought, and the memory of the night he’d found Anna there had surfaced.
They’d had the place to themselves, but for what good it had done it may as well have been
crowded.

As he’d passed the gypsy site on his way to the lake he’d seen that Montrose and his people were
still there, and even though it had been early, a couple of the men had been outside the caravans,
chopping up fallen tree trunks for the fire. They’d waved and he’d waved back, and wondered how
Tabitha was coping with her new status.

The memory of the wedding would stay with him for ever—the food, the music, dancing in the light
from the fire with Anna in his arms happy and relaxed. Would he be able to stay calm and
controlled all over Christmas when every time he was near her the longing to have her permanently
in his life took him by the throat?

As he drove up the road to the moors to visit the elderly mother of one of the sheep farmers, his
thoughts were still sombre. He was here, in the place where he could see Anna, touch her, work
with her and socialize with her, yet he was no nearer to knowing what went on in her mind. One
moment she was how he wanted her to be—happy in his company, loving and thoughtful as when
she’d bought him the trumpet—and the next withdrawn into some private place of her own that he
wasn’t allowed to enter.

If he had any sense he would pack his bags and go as speedily as he had come. The opposition he
faced was not so much lack of interest on Anna’s part, or someone of his own sex that she preferred
to him. It might be easier to accept if it was.

It was what had happened in the past that had driven them apart. He’d been waiting impatiently for
her to join him in Africa and had been faced with silence, no communication of any kind, and he’d
come to find out why.

That had been when he’d discovered that James’s wife had been killed andAnna injured in a car
crash with the twin babies in the car who miraculously had been unhurt.

She had looked dreadful, but before he’d been able to express his concern about her wellbeing and
the tragedy that had befallen her brother, she’d been sending him on his way, telling him bluntly
that their romance was over because her future responsibilities were going to be with James and his



family, and even when he’d said that he would come back and they could live nearby, she had still
been adamant that it was over.



CHAPTER NINE


WHILE Glenn was thinking sombre thoughts James was having a pleasant surprise. An old friend
had returned unexpectedly to the village after six years’ absence and had called in at the surgery to
see him.


Helen Martin had been his parents’ housekeeper for many years before she’d gone to live in Canada
to be near her daughter, and now it seemed that she was back and living in a new apartment block
recently erected on the outskirts of the village.


‘I was so sorry to learn that you’ve lost both your parents,’ she said when he showed her into his
consulting room, ‘and your lovely wife, James. I only moved in yesterday but I was soon brought
up to date with what has been going on in my absence. You have twin children, I believe, and Anna
lives with you.’


He smiled wryly. ‘You’ve been informed correctly, Helen. Anna put her own affairs to one side to
help me look after my children when Julie died. She’s been living next door to us ever since and,
believe me, there have been times when the two of us would have been over the moon to have you
back at Bracken House. Are you home for good?’


The robust middle-aged woman seated opposite nodded her head. ‘Yes. I was homesick and my
daughter and her brood didn’t need me any more, so here I am, turning up like a bad penny, and I
don’t mind telling you it’s great to be back.’


‘It’s great to have you back,’ he assured her, and asked, ‘Am I to take it that this is just a social call?
You haven’t got any health problems?’
‘No. I’m fine, you’ll be relieved to know. I just called in to renew our acquaintance.’


‘You must have a word with Anna while you’re here,’ he told her. ‘She’ll be delighted to see you.’
Anna was. ‘Helen!’ she cried, flinging her arms around the housekeeper. ‘I don’t believe it! Please,
tell me that you’ve come back.’


‘I have,’ she was told. ‘I’m here to stay. I was homesick for Willowmere, Anna. So here I am.’


‘You have no idea how many times I’ve wished you were here,’ Anna told her. ‘So much has
happened since you left.’
‘And what about your life?’ Helen asked sympathetically. ‘No husband or fiance around?’
Anna shook her head and the smooth red-gold of her hair moved gently with the motion. ‘No. I help


to look after the children and am a part-time nurse at the surgery, which doesn’t leave much time
for anything else.’
‘I can believe that,’ the unexpected visitor said. ‘Who is minding the children today?’
‘A young friend of ours, Jess.’
‘I’d love to see them. Is it all right if I pop round some time?’


‘Of course it is. Are you retired now?’ c no
‘I’m supposed to be, but I have too much energy to be lazing around. I shall look for something in
the village, I think, when I’ve settled in.’


James came to seek her out when Helen had gone and said, ‘What about that, Helen turning up
unexpectedly? Wasn’t it great to see her and to know she’s back where she belongs? Mum and Dad
thought the world of her, didn’t they?’


‘Yes, they did, and so did we,’ she said fondly. ‘I’ll never forget her amazing cooking either.’
‘What does she intend doing with herself now she’s back? Did she say?’
‘She’s going to look for something in the village once she’s settled in.’




‘Really?’ he commented, and went back to his own domain in a thoughtful mood.

Anna left the surgery at five o’clock to relieve Jess and to prepare their evening meal, leaving Glenn
and James still occupied with the last patients of the day who had come on late appointments after
work. When she put her key in the lock of Bracken House, she had the strangest feeling.

It was as if she’d moved on a step by trusting someone else to look after Pollyanna and Jolyon for
so many hours. As if the loving bond that bound her to them had become less tight, yet without any
loss to them.

When she opened the door the three of them were in the hall, waiting to greet her, and the children’s
expressions told her that all was well. ‘How has it gone?’ she asked Jess. ‘Any problems?’

She was smiling. ‘No, Anna. We’ve had a great time, haven’t we, children?’ she asked them, and
they both nodded enthusiastically.

‘We went to the park this morning, had a little rest after lunch and then played games,’ she said.
Bending to kiss their cheeks, she reminded them that she would be with them again the next day.

Jess waved to them from the gate and as they all waved back Anna saw Glenn coming up the path,
and the first thing he said when he came in was to ask how the childminding had gone.

‘Fine,’ she told him, aware that they hadn’t seen much of each other during the day. It had been so
busy, and he’d been out longer than usual on a full list of house calls. As he stood beside her she
saw that he had a sort of closed-up, defeated look about him that made her reach out to take his
hand.

‘Don’t!’ he said abruptly, and as her arm fell away he turned and went up to his room without
further comment.

‘I’ve just seen Police Constable Jarvis,’ James said when he got home a few minutes later. ‘He says
that the lake is frozen solid and some youngsters were already on their way there with their skates
as he came through the village. So he’s going to need eyes in the back of his head while it’s in that
state. He’s been in touch with the council and they’re going to transfer one of the park wardens
there in the morning to patrol the lake in case of any accidents and to put up danger notices so that
anyone skating there wil cinge il take care.’

‘Is he sure that it’s safe now?’ she asked absently, still smarting from Glenn’s unexpected rejection.

‘Yes. He’s tried it himself and it’s solid, but a frozen surface can change from one second to the
next and just a short time in freezing cold water can be fatal. If you want to enjoy one of your
favourite pastimes, I suggest you go tonight.’

‘What, in the dark?’

‘No. Glenn reckons that he was there this morning and the council workers were putting coloured
lights on the trees around the lake so I can see half the village being there.’

‘Can he borrow your spare skates?’ she asked. ‘He’s keen to try it out.’

‘Tell him, yes, my pleasure.’

When the children were asleep and James was doing some odd jobs around the house, Anna went
next door to change into trousers, a warm jacket, woolly hat and scarf, and with a pair of skates
dangling from her hand she came back to find Glenn.

‘The lake is frozen over,’ she announced when she found him alone in the sitting room while James
was getting the children ready for bed. ‘Are you still in a bad mood, or do we go skating?’

‘I am not in a bad mood,’ he replied, ‘and, yes, we go skating, if James will lend me his skates.’

‘He will.’

‘Then you’d better take a seat while I find some suitable clothes,’ he said, and thought he didn’t



deserve this after being so abrupt earlier.

‘I’m sorry I snapped at you,’ he told her when he appeared dressed in a similar manner to herself.
‘You didn’t deserve it.’

‘Don’t fret about it,’ she said. ‘I was worried about you, though I didn’t mean to fuss. Shall we
forget it?’

He was smiling now. ‘Yes, please.’

James’s prediction was correct. There were lots of villagers on the ice in the winter paradise that the
council had created and as they joined them, holding hands, all their uncertainties disappeared in the
exhilaration of gliding along together.

It was almost midnight when they left and there were still some people there, but tomorrow was
another working day for them and hopefully the ice would still be there the following evening.

‘How long since the lake last froze over?’ Glenn asked as they walked home.

‘A few years, maybe eight or nine,’ she told him. ‘It was when I came home from university one
Christmas and found it the centre of attraction for everyone.’

‘Tonight will be another happy memory to go on my list,’ he said as the house and surgery came
into view.

Now it was her turn to be touchy. ‘Every time you say something nice, there is a hidden reminder in
it that you are not going to be here long,’ she said stiffly. ‘Do you get a kick out of torturing me?
The situation I’m in is something I didn’t ask for, but was dealing with contentedly enough until
you came back into my life, and now I’m being pulled all ways. You make me feel as if I’m being
deliberately difficult all the time. How would you feel if we were married and I died and left you
with two newborn babies to bring up? Wouldn’t you be glad of the help of your sister if you had
one?’

She wasn’t being truthful. James and the children would cope without her if they had to. The real
reason was locked away in her heart and there it had to stay.

‘Shush!’ he commanded, turning to face her. ‘Do you think I don’t understand what it’s like for
you, Anna? But if I go back to where I’ve come from, it will be because I’ll know once and for all
that it really is over between us as far as you’re concerned.’

There were tears on her lashes and he wiped them away gently with the ends of her scarf. ‘Three
more days and it will be Christmas Eve and if I promise not to mention leaving again, will you
promise not to shed any more tears?’

‘Yes,’ she said with a watery smile. ‘I promise.’

‘Come on, then, I’ll race you to the front gate. If I remember rightly, you used to be quite a
sprinter.’

They arrived together laughing and breathless, but as they separated it was there again, the sadness
and the longing. When she was almost at her front door Glenn called her name across the surgery
forecourt and she stopped. He was by her side in seconds and as she observed him questioningly he
took her face between his two hands and kissed her gently on the mouth. When he released her he
said softly, ‘Thanks for worrying about me earlier. I can’t remember when last anyone did that.’
And before she’d got over her surprise he’d gone.

The skating on the lake continued the next day under the watchful eyes of the park warden and in
the evening, after they’d finished their meal, James suggested, ‘Why don’t you and Glenn take the
children to watch the skating, Anna? I’ll tidy up here.’

‘No,’ she said, ‘you take them with Glenn, James.



You haven’t seen the lake lit up. It’s like fairyland. I’ll do the clearing away.’ But he was insistent
that it was she and Glenn who took them, and she had a feeling that he wanted her out of the way,
though he’d said he might join them later.

‘I’m sure Glenn would rather be with you than me,’ he commented. ‘It’s clear to see how he feels
about you, but are you in love with him, Anna? He told me today that you bought him a trumpet for
Christmas and he was over the moon when he told me. I don’t mean to interfere, but a relationship
that is one-sided is going nowhere.’

‘Yes, I bought him a trumpet,’ she said evenly. ‘And, yes, I do love him. I know that now. I’ve
always loved him, I always will, but if there is one thing that Glenn wants out of life it is a family,
children of his own. He had a haphazard sort of upbringing and unt cngi onil he came to
Willowmere and came to live here he had no experience of family life, which makes him even more
keen to create one of his own. But, as we both know, I can’t give him the children that he wants so
badly and there is no way I want to put him in a position where he has to choose between me and
them.’ As she finally spoke her true feelings out loud, Anna realised just how much she really did
love Glenn. And just how futile that love was.

James did see. Saw only too clearly that he could at least put Anna’s mind at rest regarding his
affairs, and while she and Glenn were at the lake with the children he was going to take the first
step towards that end by visiting a newly erected apartment on the outskirts of Willowmere.

That would his first move. The second would be to call at a converted barn just five minutes’ walk
away. In both instances he would be hoping that the plans that he’d been turning over in his mind
during recent days might take shape.

Glenn came downstairs a little later and asked, ‘Are we going to the lake again, Anna?’

Yes,’ she told him. ‘James wants us to take the children to see the skating.’

‘Great! They’ll like that,’ he exclaimed, and within minutes the four of them were on their way to
Willow Lake. When they got there Anna saw Clare and thought that the other woman was doing
what she’d advised—to hold her worries at bay, keeping herself occupied. Clare had led the carol
singers on Sunday night, as promised, and now was enjoying local winter sports. Perhaps some time
over Christmas they could get together for a coffee or a glass of wine.

‘You’ll have to give the children skating lessons before the next time the lake freezes over, Anna.
Kids of their age will soon pick it up,’ Glenn said as they stood at the edge of the ice.

And she thought that it was there again, the ‘I won’t be around’ message in what he’d just said.

She was holding tightly to the twins’ hands and said with assumed nonchalance, ‘Polly, the
impetuous, is champing at the bit already, but Jolly is weighing up the ice with his usual caution. If
I thought it would last, I would persuade James to get them kitted out with skates now, but the
weather forecast indicates that temperatures could rise in the next few days.’

She was looking around her. ‘I see that the notices are up advising caution with regard to thin ice.
Where’s the park warden who is keeping an eye on things?’

‘I’ve just heard someone say that he’s been called to an incident on the river a couple of miles away
so that is the last we’ll see of him today. He would have been due to finish when the emergency
arose, so I’m going to stay until everyone has gone. I had some experience of water rescue while I
was abroad and have a grasp of the basics, but there is no sign of a thaw as yet.’

She shuddered. ‘It’s a gruesome thought, someone falling through the ice.’

‘Yes. Especially as children and teenagers are the ones who respond to this kind of excitement the
most, and the council can’t afford to have a park warden on duty twenty-four hours a day.’

James appear c>Ja oned at that moment and she asked, ‘Have you brought your skates?’



‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist it once I saw the ice, but Jolly is rubbing his
eyes, bedtime is calling. Maybe another day.’

‘There mightn’t be another time,’ Glenn told him. ‘Temperatures are forecast to rise.’

‘Stay,’ Anna urged. ‘Glenn has taken over from the park warden so you can keep him company.’
And still holding tightly onto the children’s hands, she took the little ones home to bed and spent
the rest of the evening wrapping Christmas presents and decorating the house with holly and
mistletoe.

When James arrived home much later he looked more relaxed than she’d seen him in a long time
and she wondered why. Was it the skating, or being with Glenn, or what?

She wished that the future held the prospects of a less lonely life for him, that somewhere there was
another woman who could make him as happy as Julie had, but she knew that he didn’t think along
those lines. He adored his children, enjoyed the challenge of running the practice with dedicated
efficiency, and with her beside him seemed to be content.

She’d made a Christmas cake and the following morning got up early to decorate it. It was an
average effort, she decided as she covered it in almond paste and thought wistfully of the time when
Helen had been in charge of the kitchen and every meal had been something to look forward to.

But it would have to do, and when she’d been to Bryan Timmins’s place to pick up the turkey, two
of the major food chores of the season would have been accomplished. Or at least they would be
once she’d cooked the bird!

She’d not seen much of Josh since his finger had healed and hoped that while she was at the farm
she might get a glimpse of him, though the odds were that she was more likely to find him skating
on the lake than hanging about near home.

It had been her intention to collect the turkey during the lunch-hour, but once she’d had her
breakfast she decided to go before she put in an appearance at the surgery as it might be too much
of a rush, trying to manage a bite and driving to the farm in the short time that would be available.
So when Jess arrived to an enthusiastic welcome from the children, she was ready to leave.

* * *

Glenn’s resolve when he’d finished his breakfast was along different lines. He did what he’d done
the previous day when the lake had become a skating rink—went to check the ice. The temperature
was rising, the forecast hadn’t been wrong, and now was the time for vigilance.

It was barely eight o’clock and only just daylight when he got there. The lights were switched off
and he was relieved to see there was no one skating as the park warden hadn’t yet arrived.

As he walked around the lake the ice on the edges felt firm enough, but he wondered for how long
and hoped that when the warden arrived he would warn any early-morning skaters that it could be
dangerous. < c da fo/p>

He could hear a dog barking not far away and as he looked across the lake he saw a man walking a
big golden retriever by the water’s edge. It was on a lead and as its owner waved in greeting Glenn
waved back and renewed his scrutiny of the ice once more.

Suddenly he heard the man bellow, ‘Come back, Goldie! You bad dog!’ Glenn looked up to see the
dog running across the ice, slithering from side to side as it did so. Its owner was running after it,
with the lead dangling from his hand, and the thing he had been concerned about happened. The ice
gave way with a resounding crack beneath the man’s weight and he plunged into the lake’s icy
depths as the dog bounded onwards to the other side of the lake and safety.

In the first few moments of dismay Glenn was already springing into action. The warden had
brought a throwline with him when he’d started his surveillance and kept it under the seating in a
nearby bandstand.



He knew how to use it, Glenn thought desperately, but it needed someone at the other end to pull
him in once he’d managed to raise the unfortunate dog-walker out of the water enough to fasten the
line round him, and there wasn’t a soul in sight.

Anna had to pass the lake on her way to the farm but had no intention of stopping as time was of the
essence, until she saw Glenn running from the bandstand with unmistakable urgency and pulling a
rope of some sort out of a bag as he ran.

As she turned the car off the road and pulled up at the water’s edge, she could hear faint cries for
help coming from the centre of the lake where the ice had given way. Someone had fallen through
the ice and Glenn was not going to stand by and do nothing, but supposing…

Don’t think about it, she told herself. Just help him in any way you can.

When Glenn heard the car drive onto the lakeside he sent up a hasty prayer of thanks, but groaned
when he saw who it belonged to. Anna was the last person he wanted involved in this. For one
thing, would she have the strength to pull two of them to safety with the line? But there was no time
for questioning. If the man was in the water too long, he would either drown or die from
hypothermia.

‘Thank goodness you’re here,’ he gasped as he unravelled the line and thrust the other end of it into
her hands, ‘I’m going to crawl across the ice to him, wrap the line around him, and then try to get
him out onto where it’s still unbroken. Do you think you can pull us to safety?’

‘Yes!’ she croaked, speaking for the first time since she’d walked into a nightmare.

‘Once we are on firm ice I’ll be able to drag him along, but first I’ve got to get him out. OK?’

She’d found her voice now, but there was no time to tell him that if he didn’t come out of this alive,
she would want to die too, so she just nodded.

Unaware of her anguish, Glenn crawled carefully along the ice to where there was now a large
gaping hole. The man’s cries were getting fainter, which was ominous, but he closed his mind
against what it could mean and, easing himself carefully round to t cly inghe back of him, reached
down into the water.

He could hear the ice cracking all around him and knew that at any time he might fall through it into
the icy water. His hands were numb with the cold, but he managed to secure the line around the
victim and, putting a hand under each of his armpits, shouted, ‘Pull! Pull hard!’

When he looked towards the lakeside he went weak with relief. The warden had turned up and
taken charge of the other end of the line, and with Anna’s help he began to pull them across the
unbroken surface of the lake.

Dry land had never felt more welcome beneath his feet as he staggered onto it, but there was no
time to dwell on that or the fact that Anna’s face was white with fear. The man he’d brought out of
the water needed help and fast.

As far as he could judge his head hadn’t been submerged at all which was a miracle. He’d clung on
to the edge of the ice and managed to remain upright, but now he was lying motionless, eyes closed,
blue with cold, and in spite of the seriousness of his condition would have to be treated gently to
prevent ventricular fibrillation which could be fatal.

‘I’ve phoned for an ambulance,’ Anna told him as she knelt beside the man. She was calm now that
Glenn was safe. ‘There’s a faint heartbeat and an even fainter pulse, but he’s alive and we have to
get his body heat up fast or it could be hypothermia that kills him…and you, too, if you don’t get
into some dry clothes quickly.’

She was getting to her feet and flinging the car door open even as she spoke. Grabbing a couple of
blankets off the back seat that she used to cover the children if they fell asleep while they were
driving, she eased the man up gently and with Glenn’s help took off his sodden clothes and



wrapped him in the blankets then held him close to transfer some body heat.

The warden had given Glenn his thick jacket, and even though he also was very cold he was in
control, checking that the man was still breathing and that his tongue hadn’t gone back in his mouth
to choke him.

An ambulance screeched up alongside them at that moment and as paramedics spilled out with foil
to wrap around them, the one in charge said to Glenn, ‘You’d better come along to A and E as well.
We need to keep an eye on you, too.’

‘All right,’ he agreed tersely, ‘but I’ll skip the foil. I’m not so cold that I need that. A warm bath
would thaw me out. Or a brandy.’

‘The bath yes,’ he was told with a smile, ‘but I wouldn’t advise the brandy.’ Turning to Anna, he
asked, ‘Are you going to come along to keep an eye on him?’

Was she! At that moment the thought of letting Glenn out of her sight even for a moment was not to
be considered. ‘Yes,’ she told him. Observing the dog that was cowering beside the stretcher that
held his master, she went on, ‘What about Goldie, the innocent cause of what could have been a
terrible tragedy?’

‘I’ll see to him,’ the warden said. ‘There’s an address on his collar. It will give me an opportunity to
tell the guy’s family what has happened. But I won’t be away long,’ he said grimly, his glance on
the gaping hole in the ice. ‘I’m not going to rest easy unti cest I l this lot is gone.’

The staff in Accident and Emergency at St Gabriel’s had been working on the man who’d nearly
drowned ever since he’d been brought in. Luckily he was recovering well. At the same time Glenn
was being checked over for signs of hypothermia, with Anna hovering closely beside him.

She hadn’t said much. Having had a glimpse of what the world would be like without him in it she
was still numb at the thought of it, and he glanced at her questioningly a few times.

So far they’d only discussed practical matters, such as letting James know what had happened and
when Anna was going to pick her car up from the lakeside, which seemed of so little importance
she couldn’t believe they had nothing better to talk about.

As Glenn was about to leave the hospital in some dry clothes that had been found for him and
having been passed as fit to go, the dog owner’s wife appeared, asking if she could have a word.

‘We’ve only just moved into Willowmere and love it here,’ she told them. ‘I only hope that my
poor husband’s awful experience won’t make him disenchanted with the place. Goldie is a very
naughty dog, but his master won’t have a word said against him. So I’m just thankful that someone
as resourceful as you was at hand, Dr Hamilton. Do, please, accept my most heartfelt thanks for
what you did.’

Once she’d gone he said, ‘Let’s go, Anna. James has two of us missing from the practice and we
can’t have that. Though I think my present outfit will have to be changed before I put in an
appearance.’

‘How can you be so casual about something that could have cost you your life?’ she asked in a
voice thickening with tears.

‘I wasn’t exactly wrapped in cotton wool when I worked abroad, you know,’ he said whimsically.
‘There were a few hairy moments when I thought my time had come and there would be no one to
mourn me.’

She couldn’t bear the thought. How could he speak so lightly of such things when the feeling of
being so alone must have been terrible? It was not going to happen ever again. As long as she lived
she would be there for him if he wanted her, she vowed, but she wouldn’t ask for any commitment.

Today she could have lost him and the terror of those moments at the lake would stay with her for



ever. ‘It was only by chance that I was there when you needed me,’ she told him. ‘If I hadn’t been
going to pick up the turkey, I would have been getting ready to go to the surgery or been already
there.’

He was still in a light-hearted mood. ‘So we have a frisky dog to blame for what happened and a
plump bird to thank. Maybe next time we’ll manage to pick up the turkey without any diversions.’

‘We?’

‘Yes. We’ll go together.’

It was lunchtime when they put in an appearance at the surgery. A taxi had taken them home and
while Glenn had gone to shower and change his clothes Anna had gone to pick up her car.

andheight="0em" width="1em" align="justify">The lake was deserted except for the warden and as
the ice was melting fast he wasn’t expecting to be there much longer. As she stood at the water’s
edge beside the graceful willows, she was filled with thankfulness that no harm had come to Glenn
and in that moment everything had changed.

She knew what she had to do. It might take him away from her for ever yet he was probably going
to leave anyway. But before he went he deserved to know the truth so that at last there was honesty
between them. The honesty that she’d shied away from all this time. She hoped her deceit wouldn’t
make him think too badly of her.



CHAPTER TEN


THE rescue at the lake was the main topic of conversation amongst staff and patients during the
afternoon at the surgery. Someone had seen the ambulance driving away from the lake and
approached the warden to ask him what was wrong. When he’d explained, the grapevine had swung
into action.

While Glenn was answering all questions good-naturedly, Anna still had little to say, and James
took her on one side and asked if she was all right. ‘I know you had an awful experience this
morning,’ he said, ‘and feel that you’re in a state of shock. I can imagine what was going through
your mind as you watched Glenn risking his life on the ice. Go home and rest, Anna.’

She shook her head. ‘I’m fine, James. I’m just so happy to have him safe I’m lost for words. Life
without him would have had no meaning.’

If she told him that what had happened by the lake had made her realise that she couldn’t go on
deceiving Glenn any longer, she knew that James would be supportive of her decision and would be
there for her in the days ahead, but until the deed was done she felt that she couldn’t talk about it to
anyone.

She had to find the right moment to tell Glenn the truth and until then everything else must stay as it
was.

Like James, Glenn had been watching her as the afternoon progressed. He kept remembering
Anna’s white face when he’d asked her if she could manage the line during those dreadful moments
by the lake, and though he knew she’d been terrified on his behalf, she hadn’t had much to say
since.

He needed to know what she was thinking, but the opportunity to ask her didn’t present itself. She
went early to relieve Jess, as she’d done the day before, and he was left wondering if she was
debating whether she would want to be tied to such a risk-taker should the opportunity ever arise.

Maybe they would have the chance to talk in the early evening if he suggested they go to pick up
the turkey. Every moment alone with her was precious and today in particular they’d not had any
time by themselves.

When Anna went upstairs to kiss the children goodnight after James had given them their bath, she
held them extra close and a lump came in her throat. She swallowed hard and saw that he was
watching her.

‘We need to talk,’ he said gravely, ‘and now is a good time. Glenn has gone back to the surgery to
write up some patient’s notes that he didn’t get the chance to do earlier.’

‘I’m going to tell him the truth,’ she told him flatly.

‘What has made you change your mind?’ he wanted to know.

‘This morning at the lake. If he’d fallen through the ice, like the man with the dog did, they could
have both been drowned. And when I thought of how he could have perished out there, without ever
knowing why I did what I did all that time ago, I knew that I owed him the truth.’

‘I guessed that something like that was going through your mind when you were so quiet this
afternoon,’ he told her, ‘but hear me out first. I’ve been making some arrangements over the last
couple of days and would welcome your approval.’

‘What sort of arrangements?’ she asked slowly in the same flat tone.

He motioned for her to go downstairs, and after tucking the children in, followed her.

‘They are arrangements that will leave you free to lead your own life,’ he told her gently. ‘I’ve
found a nanny for the children and a housekeeper. So you can go to the man you love with an easy
mind.’



She’d lowered herself onto the nearest chair and looked at him with amazed eyes. ‘You make it
sound as if it was all so easy,’ she breathed. ‘Glenn will hate me for what I’ve done to him, keeping
him dangling on a string when I have nothing to give him. And are you sure that the children will be
happy and safe with these people that you’ve found? Because I don’t see myself going anywhere in
the near future.’


‘Yes, I’m sure that the children will be happy,’ he said confidently. ‘I can’t believe you haven’t
guessed who they are. Who is the one person you would trust Pollyanna and Jolyon with?’


‘Jess!’ she exclaimed.
‘Yes. I’ve offered Jess what she has been looking for and she’s delighted, and making an evening
meal and keeping the place tidy for a few hours each day is what Helen has agreed to do. So, no
matter what happens in your life, the opportunity is going to be there for you to grasp whenever you
wish.’


‘You are offering me peace of mind regarding the children and I love you for it, James,’ she said
wistfully, ‘but I mean it when I say I don’t expect to be going anywhere. I wasn’t before and I
won’t be now.’


At that moment Glenn returned from the surgery and asked if she wanted to make a second attempt


at picking up the turkey.
‘Yes, why not?’ she agreed, and knew with a sinking feeling inside that yet another opportunity was
being presented to her, and this one she had to take, no matter what the consequences.


‘You are still looking fraught,’ he commented as they drove to the farm. ‘I was worried about you


this afternoon. You were so quiet.’
‘I was still traumatised from the morning’s happenings,’ she said. ‘I thought I was going to lose you
in the very place that I love so much.’


‘I hope it hasn’t spoilt it for you. It would be awful if it had.’
‘There are worse things than that.’
‘Such as?’
‘I’ll explain on our way back from the farm.’
‘So you’re going to keep me in suspense?’
It would be less hurtful than ignorance, she thought grimly, and didn’t reply.
They’d collected the turkey and been offered a sherry and a mince pie, and now were on their


homeward journey. As they approached the turning that led to the lake Anna said, ‘Will you pull in
by the lakeside, Glenn?’
‘Er, yes, if you’re sure,’ he said doubtfully.


‘I’m sure.’
The scene before them was as beautiful as it had ever been, with the water rippling gently beneath
trees festooned with coloured lights, and Glenn said, ‘It’s hard to believe what it was like here this
morning, isn’t it?’


‘Yes,’ she murmured, and turned to face him. ‘I have something to say to you.’
He frowned, hoping it wasn’t the beginning of the long goodbye. ‘What is it?’ he asked abruptly.
She took a deep breath. ‘I haven’t been honest with you for a long time, Glenn, and now I want to


put the record straight.’
‘I’m listening,’ he said levelly.




‘Do you remember when you came to see why I hadn’t joined you in Africa?’

‘It is something I’m not ever likely to forget. Being told that one is no longer loved is something not
easily forgotten.’

He saw her flinch and without replying Anna got out of the car and went to stand at the water’s
edge. He followed and as they stood side by side she said, ‘There was a reason.’

‘Yes. You explained at the time and I had no defence against it, not where motherless children were
concerned.’

‘That was partly it, but it could have been sorted by us living here in Willowmere, as you suggested,
close to James and the twins, without us breaking up.’

‘Exactly, but you weren’t prepared to agree to that, were you?’ he said, wondering where all this
was leading.

‘I couldn’t, as it would have made no difference to the real problem.’

‘And what was that?’

She took a deep breath. ‘Do you remember me telling you that I’d been hurt in the car crash that
killed Julie?’

‘Yes, of course I do, and before I could ask how you were and show my deep concern, you gave me
my marching orders in such a way that every other thought was wiped from my mind.’

‘I’d only been out of hospital a few days when you showed up and was still trying to adjust to what
had happened to me while I was in there,’ she explained.

‘I know,’ he said gently. ‘It must have been dreadful every time you thought about your sister-inlaw
and your brother left with two children to bring up on his own.’

‘It was,’ she agreed bleakly. ‘But there was something else that had shattered all my hopes and
dreams. I had severe internal injuries and was told by a gynaecologist that he had no choice but to
operate. I had to have a hysterectomy and came out of hospital knowing I would never be able to
give you the children that you want so much. I couldn’t put you in a position where you had to
choose between me and a family so I told you that it was over between us without giving you the
true reason.’

As she’d been speaking Anna had watched the colour drain from his face, seen the horrified dismay
in his expression, and known that she hadn’t been wrong in imagining how he would react to what
she’d had to tell him.

Maybe it had been a mistake and she should have carried on with the miserable charade, but at least
she’d given Glenn the chance to walk away from her childlessness now that he knew the truth.

His face was a frozen mask of pain as he asked, ‘How could you keep that from me?’

Feeling as if her heart would break, she cringed away from him.

‘I can’t believe that you have placed such a dreadful burden upon yourself and have carried it alone
for all this time,’ he continued, and she became still. ‘Yes, I want children, Anna, but I want you
even more. How could you ever think otherwise? And if we did want children, there are so many
desperately needing loving parents. Our home need never be empty of them.’ He was smiling now
and gently stroked her cheek. ‘Even though I wish you’d told me before, I’m humbled to know how
much you must have loved me at that time to send me away like you did.’

As his words filtered through, Anna’s heart swelled with hope and happiness. ‘Nothing has
changed,’ she said softly. ‘I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will. I honestly thought it was
the right thing to do, and I’m so sorry for all the wasted years…’

He pulled her into his arms, stopping her stumbling words with kisses, and Anna knew that she was



finally where she belonged. Not hopefully but completely.

‘We’ve got the rest of our lives to make up for lost time,’ he said, his lips now against her brow.
‘What I want to know is, will you marry me, Anna?’

She was weeping, sparkling drops on her lashes like diamonds as she sobbed, ‘Yes, I will marry
you, Glenn. I do love you so much.’

‘And I love you too, more than anything or anyone else on earth,’ he told her softly.

She looked at him, her eyes luminous with the tears. ‘So you’re not asking me out of pity?’

‘Pity!’ he exclaimed. ‘Pity! Of course not. I came to Willowmere to see if there was any hope of us
getting back together before I accepted what I thought was the inevitable, and there have been times
when I’ve felt that the magic was still there, but you wouldn’t admit it.’

‘I was afraid to. You’re a kind and decent man and I couldn’t bear the thought of you taking me on
out of compassion if I told you about my childlessness, but after this morning, when I thought I
might lose you for ever, I knew I couldn’t let you go on thinking that I didn’t love you.’

As his arms tightened around her he said whimsically, ‘It was worth crawling over the freezing ice
and having to fish that poor fellow out of the water with it crumbling all around us just to hear you
say that you’ll marry me. What about the children, though? I can’t carry you off to Africa while
they need you.’

‘James has sorted it. He’d guessed how we feel about each other and has found himself a great
nanny in Jess, and Helen, who was our housekeeper when he and I were young, has agreed to cook
the meals and keep the house clean.’

‘So the way ahead is clear,’ he said jubilantly. ‘I can’t believe it! If we go to Africa, it need only be
for a year or so, then you won’t be away from the children too long, or we can stay here in
Willowmere if you’d rather not.’

She shook her head. ‘No. I was just as keen as you to go there in the old days and nothing has
changed, so let’s go and tell James our wonderful news.’

‘Yes, let’s,’ he said triumphantly, and kissed her thoroughly again before they went back to the car
and drove back to Bracken House.

James had been delighted to hear what they’d had to say when they’d returned with the turkey and
had suggested, ‘How about we invite a few friends round for a drink tomorrow night to tell them
your glad tidings? I can’t think of a better time to celebrate than Christmas Eve.’

They’d agreed and then gone next door to the annexe, and once inside Glenn had produced a
beautiful emerald ring that had been his grandmother’s. ‘She was the only other woman I’ve ever
loved,’ he said gravely, ‘and ever since I’ve come to Willowmere I’ve carried it with me. Green and
gold are your colours, aren’t they, Anna? But if you don’t like it, we can choose something else.’

‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘I can tell that it means a lot to you and I’d love to wear it.’ She held out
her hand and he slipped the ring slowly on to her finger. As they both looked down at it the future
that they’d never expected to be theirs was opening up in front of them.

When the children were told the next morning that there was to be a wedding, the thrill for Polly of
discovering that she was to be a bridesmaid in a pretty dress almost equalled the excitement of
Christmas. Jolyon greeted the news of his future role of pageboy with his usual reserve, but seemed
to approve.

As Anna and Glenn had sat talking late into the night they’d decided to arrange the wedding for the
end of January. Unti kJanAs l that time everything would stay as it was at the surgery, and in their
domestic situations he was going to move in with her. At Bracken House Jess and Helen would step
into their roles in the lives of James and the children, and by the time she was ready to leave for



foreign lands with Glenn, Pollyanna and Jolyon would be used to the new arrangements.

At the party that night were Jess and her parents, Georgina and the blond man she’d danced with at
the ball, who she introduced as Nicholas, Elaine, and Clare and her mother, and when James
announced the reason for the gathering, there was much surprise and excitement.

‘We’re not going to lose you both, are we?’ Georgina asked them.

Anna replied, ‘Yes, but not for too long. We’ll be coming back to Willowmere to live. The wedding
is at the end of January and then we’re flying out to Africa.’

‘Yes,’ Glenn agreed. ‘We’ll be back again in time for next Christmas. That will be long enough
away for both of us.’

The guests had left, James had gone up to bed, and as the fingers of the clock moved to twelve,
Glenn took Anna in his arms and said softly, ‘At one time I thought that the only way I would ever
get to hold you like this would be under the mistletoe. I never dreamt that here was where you’d
want to be.’

His glance went to the children’s presents, ready and waiting under the tree, alongside the
traditional sherry and mince pie that had been left out for Santa, and he smiled.

‘James usually polishes those off,’ she told him. ‘He must have forgotten in all the excitement, so
you had better do the honours. It wouldn’t do for the children to find that Santa hadn’t had his snack
when they get up.’

‘No sooner said than done,’ he agreed, ‘and then I have a present for you.’

When he gave her the watercolour she was entranced. ‘It’s beautiful,’ she told him, ‘and is going to
go with me wherever I go.’

‘Even though your love of the place was almost destroyed by what occurred when the ice broke?’
he questioned. ‘I’d almost decided not to give you the picture after that, but you brought the magic
back to Willow Lake by what you did in the evening.’

With his voice deepening, he went on, ‘I won’t ever forget that moment. You brought me out of
darkness into light when you told me that you still loved me. Suddenly I could see the way ahead.’

As daylight began to creep over Willowmere on Christmas morning, the church bells rang out into
the silence that hung over the village, and as the two men watched the children’s delight in all the
things that Santa had brought, Anna said, ‘I’m going to take some flowers to Clare. I won’t be
long.’

She lived in the apartment above the gallery and when Anna rang the doorbell Clare appeared with
a robe over her nightdress and exclaimed, ‘Anna! Merry Christmas!’

‘I’ve brought these for you,’ she told her, handing her an arrangement of red roses. ‘They are just to
say that I’m thinking of you, and to ask if you and your mum would like to come round for coffee
when some of the excitement that Santa’s visit generates has calmed down a little.’

‘That would be lovely,’ Clare said, and almost as if she’d read Anna’s mind, she added, ‘I’ve got
my appointment to have a consultation with an oncologist between Christmas and New Year, so
that’s good, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, it is,’ she agreed, and as she wished her goodbye she hoped that the news that Clare was
dreading might not be quite as devastating as she was expecting it to be.

It was raining, a sudden shower, and she had no umbrella, but there was something else she had to
do now that the flowers had been delivered. Something that she wanted to do on her own while the
only people about were herself and the bellringers.

Julie’s grave was in a quiet corner of the churchyard. At this time of year there were snowdrops on



it, tiny white flowers with drooping heads. Later in the day James would come with sweet-scented
lilies for his moment of remembrance, but now it was just her, wanting to know if she had the
blessing of the children’s mother and hoping that she might feel Julie’s presence near her in the
churchyard.

The rain had stopped as suddenly as it had started, and a watery sun was shining up above as she
stood beside the grave in silence, but the feeling that Julie was close by wasn’t there.

What had she expected? she asked herself. Those other times when she’d felt Julie had been near
could have been imagination, tricks of the mind or wishful thinking. The minutes were ticking by
and, cold and wet, she turned to go despondently.

It was then that she saw it, arched in the sky, beautiful beyond compare, a rainbow, and if there was
one thing that Julie had loved to see, it had been a rainbow.

On the day that she, Anna, had been discharged from hospital, James had brought the babies with
him when he’d gone to fetch her, and as they’d driven home with her on the back seat beside the
two baby carriers, she’d been in the depths of grief and despair until she’d looked out of the car
window and seen a rainbow in the sky.

There had been one after the other all the way home and for the first time in days she’d found a
degree of comfort because it had seemed as if Julie was somewhere near and from that feeling had
come the strength to face what lay ahead.

When she reached the lychgate at the entrance to the churchyard Glenn was standing there and she
asked, ‘How long have you been here?’

He put his arms around her and held her close. ‘Long enough to know that there was one thing you
still had to do before you could move on. Did you get the answer you wanted?’

The rainbow was fading slowly but she was smiling as she looked up at her future husband. ‘Yes,
my love. I did.’