She was unbuttoning her jacket. Reaching out to take his hand, she placed it on to her expanding
front and said in a low voice, 'Can you feel your child moving, Ben?'
'Oh, yes!' He looked at her, his dark eyes full of wonder. 'I can indeed. It's fantastic, Georgina.'
'Yes, it is,' she said softly. 'It keeps me awake sometimes, and when it does, I always wish I could
share the moment with someone else.'
So he was just 'someone else', Ben thought sombrely. Not the beloved husband or the expectant
father, but he wasn't going to be dismayed. In just a week they'd come a long way and every day
was going to bring them closer together if it had anything to do with him.
Like tomorrow, which would be a big step forward when they went shopping together. It was all
going to come right, he told himself. He just needed to be patient and maybe one day they might be
a happy family once again. Nothing would ever replace Jamie, but there would be acceptance of it
at last if he and Georgina could start fresh.
With regard to her antenatal appointment, Georgina would have to accept his anxieties. She'd had a
difficult pregnancy when she'd been carrying Jamie. There had been problems with her blood
pressure for most of the time, and she would not have forgotten that. He certainly hadn't. So far all
seemed to be well, or she would have said, but he would be keeping a close watch.
They were happy and relaxed as they chose a pram, baby bath and a pretty white crib, along with a
host of other things, and when they were paid for on the understanding that delivery would be made
once the baby was born, there was only one moment of seriousness when Ben asked, 'How's the
blood pressure?'
'Fine,' she said. 'You will be the first to know if ever it isn't.'
Once they'd finished shopping for the baby they strolled around the stores and dawdled until it was
time for lunch. As they went to find somewhere to eat, Ben said, 'The other day I heard the farmer
who brings the milk ask if you'd decided on any names for the baby. Have you?'
She shook her head. 'Nothing definite. Have you any ideas?'
'I might have. If it's a girl, how about Aimee? The French spelling of it?'
'We thought of that last time, didn't we?' she reminded him, and saw that he was smiling.
'Yes. We wanted Jamie for a boy, and chose Aimee for a girl because it sounded like Jamie without
the J. What name would you choose for another boy?'
'Arran, maybe?'
'I like that. Arran Allardyce sounds good.'
They were waiting for a table to be free in a bistro in one of the stores, and after the brief discussion
about names, silence fell on them.
Georgina was thinking that twice in the last few days Ben had been able to talk about Jamie as if
he'd found some acceptance at last, and it warmed her heart.
Shopping together for the baby had been delightful. Having Ben beside her had felt so right. It had
been like taking a step back in time to when all had been perfect between them, and now they were
discussing names like any excited parents.
But they weren't like other parents, and they were going too fast. She needed some calm in her life
while she adjusted to how it was going to be, instead of how it had been.
He was pushing it, Ben was thinking as he observed her closed expression. Why couldn't he have
been satisfied with what they'd done together so far, without pinning Georgina down about names
for the baby?
When they arrived back in Willowmere in the quiet Saturday afternoon, Ben noticed that cricket
was being played on a field behind the vicarage. Observing the flashes of white against the fresh
green of the pitch, he said, 'I might have guessed there would be cricket here. Does the village have
a team of its own?'
'Yes, but today it will be just a friendly match as the season doesn't actually start until Easter, does
it?' she replied.
'I might go to watch when I've dropped you off,' he said, 'or do you want to come?'
'No, thanks,' she told him with the feeling that she needed some time alone.
As if he'd picked up on something in her tone, Ben looked at her sharply. 'You've had enough of me
for one day? Is that it?'
She shook her head. 'No. If you want to know, it's me that I've had enough of.'
He was stopping the car in front of their two cottages and he turned to where she was sitting
unmoving in the passenger seat and said, Tm not sure what you mean by that and am not going to
ask. I'll see you later, Georgina. Why not have a rest while you have the chance?'
'I'll think about it,' she promised, knowing that she needed ease of mind as much as she needed ease
of body.
The first person Ben saw when he arrived at the cricket match was James Bartlett with his two
children, and the other man flashed him a welcoming smile. He was dressed in whites so was either
a player or a stand-in, Ben decided, but as it was the interval at that moment and tea and cakes were
being passed around, he couldn't tell which.
James had taken to this estranged husband of Georgina's, much to his surprise, as he'd been
prepared to dislike the man who had obviously caused Georgina anguish in the past, but on meeting
Ben he'd found him to be pleasant, intelligent, and a man he could communicate with.
What had gone wrong between them he didn't know, but he sensed an awareness of each other that
told him feelings of some kind still ran strongly in them both.
'Do you play?' he asked the newcomer as he and the children took Ben to the pavilion for some
refreshments.
He smiled. 'No. Not really. I used to play on the fathers' team when it was sports day at my son's
school, and he and I used to play cricket in the back garden sometimes, but that's about it.'
James frowned in surprise. 'I didn't know that you and Georgina have a child. She's never said. Does
he live with you?'
'No,' he said levelly. 'We lost Jamie in an accident when he was six years old. He was drowned.'
'Oh! I'm so sorry!' James exclaimed as Georgina's reserve and reticence were explained. He knew
from bitter experience that some things just couldn't be talked about because they hurt too much,
and it seemed that where he had lost a wife, Ben and Georgina had lost a child.
'It was losing him that broke up our marriage. Grief can be a cruel thing,' Ben said as one of the
ladies behind the counter passed him a mug of tea. 'I take it that Georgina had never mentioned
either him or me to you.'
'No, she hadn't,' James confirmed. 'So why have you come to Willowmere after all this time?'
'We met up by chance last August. I realised how much I still cared. She wrote to me some time
ago, asking that we talk, but I was away and didn't get the letter until recently. I came here hoping
for a reconciliation and discovered that she was pregnant, which means that I'm not budging.
Whether she wants me here or not, I'm staying. I want to be there for her at the birth and afterwards.
I let her down once when she needed me desperately and am not going to do it again.
'And do you know what, James? I've never talked to another living soul as I've talked to you today,
but there is just one thing. Georgina is wary of me and I don't blame her, so could I ask you not to
mention our conversation to her?'
'Yes, of course,' was the reply, 'and if ever there is anything I can do for either of you, Ben, you
have only to ask.'
At that moment his children came up, asking for ice cream, and as Ben observed Pollyanna and
Jolyon he thought that in spite of losing his wife the man standing beside him was truly blessed.
CHAPTER FIVE
When Ben had gone to watch the cricket, Georgina lay on the sofa in her sitting room and thought
about the time they'd just spent together.
They'd been happy as they'd chosen the baby's layette, perfectly in tune like any expectant parents
shopping for an addition to their family. But now she was wondering if it was wishful thinking on
her part. Theirs was a strange relationship, and where Ben seemed supremely confident that it was
all going to work out, she was alternating between doubt and hope all the time.
The more she saw of him the more she craved to have him near, yet when they were together she
was wary, and knew he sensed it. He'd asked her to watch the cricket with him and she'd refused
because she felt that he was always one step ahead of her, taking her breath away and undermining
her confidence in her own abilities at the same time.
He'd described her as capable, and most of the time she was, but not where he was concerned. What
was Ben expecting them to do once the baby had arrived? Set up house together as if the past didn't
exist?
The sexual chemistry was still strong between them. It always would be. But she had to keep telling
herself that there was more to a relationship than that. Understanding came high on the list.
She'd been taken aback when he'd wanted to discuss names for the baby. Obviously she'd given it
some thought, yet had felt the time for that would be once it was born. Maybe he'd brought up the
subject because today he was happy and relaxed like he used to be in the old days and now she was
wondering if she was going to be able to live up to his expectations.
The phone trilled into her thoughts and when she picked it up it was Nicholas ringing from Texas,
as he sometimes did.
After they'd exchanged greetings he said uncomfortably, 'I keep phoning Ben but there's no answer.
He's been to Scandinavia, but I would have expected him to be back by now. I don't suppose he's
appeared on your horizon, by any chance? He was desperate for your address before I left the
country, but I kept my promise.'
She was fond of Ben's likable young brother and told him, As a matter of fact, Ben is here, and is
intending to stay. He's over the moon because I wrote to him with my address, and when he turned
up here he found that I was pregnant after we'd met unexpectedly in the summer.'
'That's fantastic!' he cried jubilantly, and then sounded less exuberant. 'But how do you feel about
all this, Georgina?'
She sighed. 'I'm delighted about the baby, of course, but he and I haven't had a very good track
record since we lost Jamie, have we?'
'Yes, but haven't I always said that the two of you belong together?' he said gravely. 'You can both
be forgiven for losing the plot after something like that. Give it time, Georgina. On a more cheerful
note, I will be over for the christening of my new nephew or niece. That is really great news.'
When he'd rung off, she thought that Nicholas was another optimist who thought it was going to be
easy, but she was the one carrying the baby, the one who had fled from the aftermath of grief and
vowed that she wasn't ever going to be hurt like that again.
With a sudden need for reassurance she reached for the jacket she'd taken off when she'd arrived
home and, picking up her door keys, set off for the cricket ground.
James was batting at the wicket when she got there, but there was no sign of Ben amongst the
spectators as she looked around her. She could hear children's laughter coming from behind the
pavillion, and when she went to look, she smiled.
James wasn't the only one at the crease. There was another match taking place. Ben was the
batsman, with a minuscule cricket cap on his head and a children's bat in his hands, pretending to
brace himself against the tennis ball that Jolyon was about to bowl at him. Pollyanna was the wicket
keeper behind a small set of stumps.
This is how he used to be, Georgina thought wistfully. It was turning out to be a day of turning back
the clock.
When the ball hit the bat he flicked it high enough for Pollyanna to catch, and as the children
gleefully shouted 'Out!' he turned and saw her behind him.
'This is a nice surprise,' he said. 'What made you change your mind?'
'I came to tell you that Nicholas has been on the phone and I've put him in the picture about what's
happening here,' she explained. 'He's coming over for the christening.'
He laughed. 'That's great!' The children tugged at his arms, pleading with him to carry on with the
game, and he gave her an apologetic smile. 'I won't be long. Are you going to sit and watch us?'
'I am, indeed,' she told him, with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm, and settled herself on one
of the wooden seats that were scattered around the pitch.
They stayed until the match was over and the sun was sinking in the sky. As they were leaving,
James said, 'The children want to know when you are going to play with them again, Ben. You've
made a hit there.'
'Not with the bat,' he said laughingly. 'They're great kids, James.'
'They're a grubby pair at the moment,' their father said. 'It's going to be into the bath with them
before supper.'
'He's a great guy too,' Ben said as James trooped off with a tired but happy child on either side. 'It's
a pity he hasn't found them a loving stepmum.'
'I agree,' she told him. 'But James has yet to find someone he can love as much as he loved his wife,
and that's the problem. He would never marry for convenience. I firmly believe that one day the
right woman will appear and everyone will be delighted.'
'If you feel up to it, why don't we offer to take the children out for the day some time soon, to give
him a break?' he suggested. Partridge Lane came in sight and he glanced over at her. 'I've really
enjoyed today. Shopping for the baby this morning and playing with James's kids this afternoon.'
'Yes, I can tell you have,' she said softly. 'Dare I remind you of something that used to make you
really angry?'
'What?'
'Time really does heal. Doesn't it, Ben?'
'Yes, it does,' he agreed sombrely. 'But the scars remain.'
'They do, but we can live with them, can't we?'
'We have to,' he replied, and there was no bitterness in his voice.
In that moment she felt closer to him than she'd been in years. If they could have talked like this all
that time ago they might have salvaged something from their marriage, she thought wistfully.
They arrived at their separate properties, and as they halted he said, As you arrived at the match
shortly after I did, I take it you didn't have a rest?'
'Er, no, but I'm not an invalid, you know. It's like I tell my mothers-to-be at the antenatal clinic at
the surgery—having children is a natural thing, to be taken in one's stride with common sense and
pleasure.'
And what about high blood pressure and it's effects? he thought, but didn't voice it, even thought the
memory was crystal-clear of the scares they'd had when she was expecting Jamie.
'Yes, of course it is,' he agreed. 'And I was not intending to fuss. I was merely going to suggest that
I'll rustle up some food while you have a rest, if you are agreeable?'
'I'm agreeable,' she told him thankfully.
'I'll give you a knock when it's ready,' he promised as they separated.
Once Georgina was inside the first thing she did was check her blood pressure. The gynaecologist
had warned her to keep a close watch on it, because it had been up slightly the last time she'd seen
him.
However, today the readings were as they should be, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
On Monday morning of the week leading up to Good Friday, Georgina awoke to the knowledge that
it was Ben's first day at the practice, and she was immediately wide-awake.
It was going to be very strange, she thought. They'd both been doctors all their working lives, but in
different situations. She had always been in general practice and Ben hospital-based, so this was
going to be the first time they'd worked together. She couldn't imagine what it was going to be like.
He was bringing in his milk as she was setting off, and he called across, 'I'll be right behind you.'
As she was pulling up outside the surgery she could see his car following, and felt her heartbeat
quicken.
Georgina began to calm down as the day progressed. He was efficient, yet pleasant with both
patients and staff. To the uninformed he was just another doctor at the surgery. James and Ben had
arranged that all young patients should be passed to him, thereby receiving the benefit of his
experience, and in any spare time that Ben might have he would share the general workload.
It was late morning before they had a chance to talk. He came out onto the forecourt of the practice
as Georgina was about to set off on her home visits and said, 'James suggests that I tag along so that
I can get to know the area better. Is that all right with you?'
'Yes, of course,' she told him. 'How's it going?'
'Fine,' he said easily, as if walking into a strange practice where his ex-wife worked was a doddle.
As she drove up the steep road that led to the moors and the peaks beyond, Ben wasn't missing a
thing. 'It's rather remote and bleak up here, and very sparsely populated,' he commented as they
drove the last mile to the tops. 'I could do your calls in these parts if you want.'
'No way!' she protested. 'The people who live in the cottages and farms up here are my friends.' She
could have told him they were amongst those who'd made her welcome when she'd first come to
Willowmere, lonely and lost.
At that moment a stray sheep came from nowhere. It ran across the road in front of the car and she
had to swerve to miss it.
'Wow!' he exclaimed. 'Never a dull moment. The next time we have lamb for dinner I'll be asking
where it's come from.' Suddenly his tone changed. 'Stop the car! There's someone lying beneath that
outcrop of rock over there.'
'I see him,' she said, braking sharply.
By the time she'd eased herself out of the car Ben was bending over the motionless body of a man
in walking clothes. He called, 'Fetch your bag, Georgina.'
Grabbing her bag out of the boot, she hurried over, fishing her mobile phone out of her pocket.
'Looks as if he's fallen over and hit his head,' he said, nodding towards the high face of rock beneath
which he was lying. 'See the gash there on the side? I've got a pulse, but his breathing is shallow.
We're going to have to get an ambulance up here, Georgina. Have you got a signal?'
'Thankfully. Right, I'm through.' She gave the information required and hung up. 'The ambulance is
on it's way.'
Ten minutes passed. Ben and Georgina were monitoring the man's vital signs and Ben said grimly,
'They'd better hurry or we're going to lose him. Get ready to help me resuscitate, Georgina. OK, he's
stopped breathing.'
They immediately began the resuscitation procedure. As the ambulance pulled up, the accident
victim was breathing shallowly once more.
When the paramedics had gone, sirens wailing, Ben said, 'Phew! That was touch and go.' He turned
to her as they walked slowly back to the car. Are you all right? It couldn't have been easy for you,
crouching down beside him.'
'I'm fine,' she told him. 'Just relieved that we came upon the poor man. Do you think he stepped
over the edge not realising there was a steep drop at the other side?'
'I don't know,' he replied. 'It's beautiful up here, but there can be dangers in this sort of rugged
terrain. What would you have done if I hadn't been with you?'
'The best I could, I suppose. At least it's not snowing.' He was observing her sharply and, tuning in
to the direction of his thoughts, she said, 'Don't worry, Ben. I've lived here long enough to know
how to manage. Now, we'd better get moving or our next patient will think we've got lost. It's Ted
Dawson at Summit Farm. His wife rang in to ask for a visit as he's got a lot of back pain and is
barely mobile. Otherwise, knowing Ted, he would have come to the surgery as he's not one to make
a fuss about nothing.
'The Dawson's are the most hospitable people. If I know Ellie, she'll be offering us homemade cakes
and coffee.'
Ben's expression brightened.
'It's just a shame we won't be able to accept, as we're behind already with the home visits after
what's just happened at Hellemans Crag.'
He groaned and said laughingly, 'So, do you think the farmer's wife could make us up a lunchbox?'
A barred gate leading to a farmyard had appeared in front of them, and they drove up to the
farmhouse. After Georgina had introduced Ben to Ellie and Ted, they each examined the stricken
farmer in turn.
After they had exchanged comments, Georgina told the patient, 'We both think that you might have
a slipped disc in your spine, Ted, but only an X-ray can decide that. We need to get you to hospital.'
Ted sighed. Looking around the pleasant farmhouse, he said, 'I can't afford to be off my feet in this
kind of job, Georgina. Farming's not for stretcher cases.'
'I know,' she said sympathetically. 'So the sooner we get you sorted, the better, don't you agree?
And in the meantime, can't those three sons of yours give you a hand?'
'They would if they were here,' Ellie chipped in. 'They're all at university now, but we'll sort
something out until Ted is on his feet again.'
'Shall I pass the message around that Summit Farm can do with some help?' Georgina asked.
Aye, if you would,' Ted said reluctantly. 'By the way, don't forget to have a cuppa and a piece of
Elbe's cake before you go.'
'We'd love to, but I'm afraid we haven't time,' she said, and as they packed up, told them about the
injured man they'd come across.
Almost on cue, Ellie said, 'So take a piece with you to eat in the car.' As Ben's amused glance met
hers, Georgina knew she hadn't better refuse that offer.
'I can't believe that we dealt with a case of that kind on your first day at the practice,' Georgina said
as they went to get their cars at the end of the second surgery. 'It would have been difficult if you
hadn't been there.'
'So I am useful for something?' he said quizically.
'You're in a league way above the rest of us at the practice, but don't make a big thing of it. It was
great working with you, Ben.'
It was true, she thought as she drove home. Why couldn't she accept that living with him again
could be just as good?
With the anxiety of working with Ben now having disappeared, Georgina still had to face telling
him she was going to the cemetery on Good Friday, and it was approaching too quickly for her
liking. Thursday was upon her almost before she knew it. She had to tell him that evening.
It was late in the afternoon, and on her way home she stopped off at the florist's on the main street
of the village to pick up the white roses that she'd ordered earlier in the week.
As she came out of the shop, holding the flowers and smiling at something the girl behind the
counter had said, she froze. Ben's car was parked behind hers and he was watching her through the
window on the driver's side.
When she drew level, he wound it down and said levelly, 'I saw your car parked and wondered
where you were. Could it be that you were intending to go to the cemetery and weren't going to tell
me? What is it, Georgina? Don't you want me with you when you go there? Do you think I'm going
to entice you back to the house again? I would never have expected you to be so unforgiving.'
'I'm doing what I've done at special times of the year,' she told him steadily. 'The only difference is
that since I've been pregnant I've travelled by train instead of using the car. I'll be getting a local
train from the station here in Willowmere early in the morning to connect with a mainline train
from Manchester to London, if you want to come.'
'I do want to come, but I won't be going on this occasion,' he said, in the same sort of level tone.
'I've arranged to meet a colleague from Scandinavia. He's interested in the work I did out there, so
we're spending the day together.'
His glance was on the perfection of the flowers she was holding. 'So, as I can't accept your
lukewarm invitation, I'll make my own arrangements for visiting Jamie.' And, leaving her deflated,
he pulled out from behind her car and drove off.
So much for her making a situation out of something that should have been handled tactfully,
Georgina thought bleakly, and knew what she had to do.
Ben was home before her and when he answered her knock on the door, she said contritely, 'I'm
sorry, Ben. I didn't mean you to find out like that. It was unkind of me.'
'So how did you want me to find out?' he asked dryly.
'I don't know!' she told him exasperatedly. 'I keep telling you that I'm used to doing things on my
own.'
'And you want it to stay that way?
'No. Not exactly, but the cemetery was the place where we met that day and since then nothing has
been the same. Going together would bring back memories not just of our meeting there but what
happened afterwards.'
'You don't want to remember that, then?'
She looked down at her unaccustomed width and wondered how he could ask such a question.
'I will never forget it as long as I live,' she choked. 'I have far more reason to recall it than you
have.'
He stepped forward and touched her cheek gently. 'Yes, I know you have. Don't let me interfere in
your routine regarding Jamie. Tell him I love him, and I'll come see him soon.'
'Yes, I'll do that,' she promised, 'but don't you think he knows? I won't linger in London. I expect to
be back late afternoon...and maybe next time we'll be able to go together.'
It was five o'clock when the local train from Manchester stopped in Willowmere's small station and
Georgina smiled as she stepped onto the platform, bright with its tubs and baskets of flowers. She
could hear the jangling kind of music that told her the Easter fair had arrived. If Ben wasn't too late
home, maybe they could have a wander around the sideshows and other attractions after they'd
eaten.
So far he hadn't seen much of village activities and in a perverse sort of way she was keen to
introduce him to country life, even though she was still adjusting to his presence.
The fair was a yearly event. Everyone turned out for it, and as she heard the noise of it she thought
of tomorrow's wedding in the village. Edwina and her friends wouldn't be too thrilled at having the
music from the fair drowning their efforts on behalf of the happy couple.
On the short distance to Partridge Lane it occurred to her that Ben in his present confident state of
mind might suggest that they marry again, and if he did, what would she say?
There was no way she would agree for the sake of convenience or propriety. If she ever took his
name again it would be because it was something she wanted with all her heart, and at the present
time she didn't know what she wanted.
She wasn't to know that since yesterday his confidence had been at a low ebb. The fact that she'd
intended going to London without him had been a sharp reminder that he'd blundered into the life
that she'd made for herself, and she wasn't prepared to give it up so easily.
He arrived home at seven o'clock and the first thing he did was knock on her door to check if she
was back. When she opened it to him, he observed her keenly.
'How did it go?' he wanted to know.
'Fine,' she told him. 'The trains were on time, no trouble getting a taxi. I spent an hour in the
cemetery and then returned to Euston to get the train home.'
'And do you feel better for going?'
She smiled across at him. 'Of course. Need you ask? And now I've got a question for you. Can you
hear the fair?'
'Yes. Where is it?'
'On spare ground beside the river. Shall we go once you've eaten?'
'I've already had something in Manchester,' he said. 'What about you?'
'I made a meal when I got in.'
'And you feel up to it.'
'Yes, but I don't think I'll be risking any of the rides. They do throw one about rather.'
'As your resident physician I agree that is good thinking,' he said lightly. 'I'll go and change into
something comfortable and be back shortly,'
When they set off in the early April evening to where the fair had been set up, Ben thought that
Georgina hadn't had much to say about her day except for the bare details. Remembering their
discussion of the previous day, he decided she must be thinking that the least said would be soonest
mended.
As they wandered around the various stalls and sideshows he won a soft toy for hitting the target on
a shooting range, and when presented with a coconut for a good score at skittles, asked wryly,
'What are we going to do with this?'
Cries of alarm suddenly came from behind and someone shouted, 'Look out!'
They could hear the pounding of hooves coming towards them and as Georgina and Ben swung
round the crowd behind them scattered as a white-faced teenage girl on a pony bore down on them
with the animal out of control.
It took a split second for Ben to realise that someone was going to get hurt and that someone might
be Georgina, and as the animal came charging towards them he grabbed the bridle. The impact
almost wrenched his arm out of its socket and slammed him up against the supports of a nearby
sideshow, but at least it had halted the frightened animal and no one in the crowd had been hurt.
The girl was shaking from head to foot. 'It was the music that made her bolt,' she said. 'I should
never have brought Dinky near the fair but I couldn't resist, and nearly killed somebody.'
She turned to Ben. 'Thank you for saving me and my horse and some innocent person.'
He nodded. 'Fortunately no one was hurt, but another time do take care, young lady.' He smiled at
her crestfallen expression. 'The next time you come to the fair, I suggest you leave Dinky at home.'
'I will,' she promised fervently, and with an apologetic smile for the onlookers rode off slowly
towards a quieter part of the village.
Georgina was by his side, aware that every time he moved his arm and shoulder he was wincing,
and she said, 'I'll take you to A and E to have your arm looked at.'
He shook his head. 'No, Georgina. I'm all right. Let's go home and I'll bathe it.'
'I'll bathe it,' she told him, and he smiled.
All right, whatever you say. If it's still painful in the morning, I will go to A and E.'
When they got home she removed his shirt with gentle hands and saw a livid red weal across a
shoulder that was already swollen and discoloured.
'Can you move it?' she asked anxiously.
'Yes,' he said calmly. 'It will be all right when the swelling goes down. I've just wrenched my
shoulder joint.'
She was observing him doubtfully. 'I do think we should go to A and E to have it X-rayed.'
'I'll see how it feels when I've been in the bath,' he conceded.
'Let me put witch hazel on it first,' she insisted. 'It's so good for inward bruising and strains.'
As she rubbed the age-old remedy gently all over his back and shoulders Georgina was thinking
that this was the first real physical contact they'd had since the day they'd made love. The
opportunity to go back in time to when his wellbeing had been as important to her as breathing was
a moment to treasure.
He was observing her whimsically over his shoulder and commented, 'I could really get to like this,
though not the reason for it. That girl shouldn't have been anywhere near the fair with her pony. The
kind of music they were playing was enough to frighten any animal. Someone could have been
killed.'
He was reaching for his shirt and she said, 'Let me help you,' and held it out for him while he eased
his arms into it. As she was pressed up against him, fastening the buttons, the baby moved inside
her and she reached for his hand as she'd done on that other occasion.
It was a timeless sort of moment, yet in reality it only lasted seconds, and when it was over he
reached out and took her face between his hands and kissed her gently on the mouth. Starved of the
passion that had once been one of the mainstays of their life together, she kissed him back with a
fervour that brought him rigid with surprise and pleasure.
When at last he put her away from him gently Ben said, 'I can't think of a better way of making me
forget that my back hurts, Georgina. Does it mean that I'm forgiven?'
'I could say that I forgave you a long time ago,' she said breathlessly, 'but there was never anything
to forgive. We just found ourselves travelling along different roads and there was nothing left to
hold on to. But it doesn't mean that I've forgotten how it used to be.'
He was reaching out for her again but she shook her head and told him, 'As your doctor, I
recommend rest and quiet. A repeat of what just happened is not in keeping with that. I suggest that
you go home, have a warm bath and a hot drink, and we'll see how the patient is in the morning.'
All right,' he agreed, and paused on the doorstep to comment dryly, 'I note that you managed to
hang on to the cuddly toy. I wonder what happened to the coconut?'
When he'd gone, Georgina sank down onto the sofa and thought what a strange day it had been. It
had started with her self-imposed solitary pilgrimage to London, followed by their visit to the fair
that had changed from pleasure to panic in just a few seconds.
Then last, but by no means the least, in the emotionally charged moment that they'd shared after
feeling the baby move, she had let her heart rule her head, given way to longing, and now she was
feeling guilty because she'd given Ben cause to hope when she still wasn't clear in her mind about
the future.
But exhaustion was kicking in and she went slowly upstairs to her lonely bed and tried not to think
about how right it had felt when she'd been in Ben's arms.
As sleep began to slide over her she thought drowsily that it was almost as if the little unborn one,
be it Aimee or Arran, was playing a little game of its own by making its presence felt at meaningful
moments.
Next door Ben was having a leisurely soak to ease an aching shoulder and planning to sleep on the
side not affected, wishing at the same time that he could awake the next morning to find Georgina
beside him.
Outside in the lane in the dark spring night the fox slunk by once more on the lookout for an
unsuspecting meal.
CHAPTER SIX
When Georgina went to check on Ben's injured shoulder the following morning, he assured her that
it was much better but, noting painkillers on the worktop in the kitchen, she insisted on being shown
the affected area. When she saw the swelling and amount of braising that had come out during the
night, she said that they should have it looked at in A and E.
'I can move it all right,' he told her, 'so there is no fracture, but if you insist, I'll go.'
'We'll go,' she said. 'I'll drive.'
'I'm supposed to be looking after you,' he protested.
'I don't need looking after,' she told him firmly.
'So I've gathered, but don't forget when you go to see the gynaecologist next week, I would like to
be there. What time is the appointment?'
'Three in the afternoon, between surgeries.'
She understood his concern. It had not been an easy pregnancy when she was expecting Jamie, but
so far all was well, and she was not going to take any risks regarding the baby's safety. It was a
precious gift, conceived in a moment of madness, and where at first she hadn't liked the thought of
that, now she saw it differently because of the joy it was bringing with it.
Ben had been X-rayed in A and E at St Gabriel's, the main hospital for the area, and he'd been right.
There were no broken bones, just a lot of soreness that could take a few days to ease off.
As they were about to leave, he said, 'I'm told they have a new paediatric centre here that is quite
something.'
'Yes, they have,' she said.
'I know the manager of the unit. I'm sure he'll let us have a look round when he knows who you are.'
She was right. Ben's name brought immediate recognition, and they were shown round the centre by
one of the doctors. Not only was it state-of-the-art, with every kind of up-to-date equipment, it was
bright and sunny, with lots of things to take young patients' minds off their problems.
As they were leaving, Ben shook the doctor's hand and said, 'Many thanks for showing us round.
My wife and I are most impressed.'
Georgina didn't comment on it when they left but he did. 'I know what you're thinking,' he said
wryly. 'You're not my wife any more. I felt it more appropriate to introduce you like that as you are
so obviously pregnant.'
And so avoid any gossip?'
He glanced at her sharply. 'Yes, but on your account, not mine. I know what hospital grapevines are
like. I don't give a damn what people think of me, but you are known in these parts.'
'Yes, I am,' she agreed levelly. 'I'm known as a woman who hasn't been open to any advances from
members of the opposite sex since she came here, and who gets on with her life without burdening
others with her problems and heartaches. Until you came back into my life James was the only one
who knew anything about me and he has never heard the full story.'
'He has now. / told him,' he said coolly, stung by her words. 'I also told him that he was the only
person I'd ever opened up to.'
She stared at him with surprised hazel eyes. 'When was this? You've barely met the man.'
'It was at the cricket match last weekend...and I like the guy.'
'Well! The new you is certainly full of surprises.'
They were back in the car ready to drive home and he said, 'Here's one more. I want to buy you an
Easter egg like I used to when Jamie was with us, so can we stop off somewhere? Then we have to
decide what we're going to do with the rest of the day. After all, it is Easter Saturday'
Picking up on his mood, she said, 'I suggest we give the fair a miss after yesterday's near
catastrophe. How about a picnic by Willow Lake?'
'Agreed as long as I help to prepare the food.'
She shook her head. 'No, rest your shoulder. I'll do the catering. I'll shop for it when we get back to
the village and you can go on home and do your own thing for a couple of hours.'
And now she was making a salad to go with smoked salmon, and buttering crusty bread to be eaten
with it before they went on to meringues and the apple tart that she'd bought at the village baker's.
As she bent to get fruit juice from the fridge, the Easter egg, resplendent in a fancy box with her
name piped across in icing was there at her elbow, and she paused. Was she falling into a trap of her
own making, allowing Ben to charm her with his concern and happy memories from the past when
the future still wasn't clear?
'Do you remember how we used to call Jamie "Chocolate Chops" at Easter time,' he'd said, while
they were waiting for her name to be piped on to the egg.
'Yes,' she replied softly. 'I remember everything the three of us did together, and I know that you do,
too, Ben.'
It had been a tender moment that the girl behind the counter had broken into by saying laughingly,
'Your husband's name is Ben? That's a nice short name to go on an Easter egg. I've only just
managed to get Georgina on yours!'
When Ben had bought Easter eggs for Jamie, he'd always bought one for her, and it would seem
that he hadn't forgotten. In the pleasure of the moment she'd suggested the picnic and could hardly
change her mind now, but for the rest of the holiday weekend she was going to retreat behind what
few defences she had left.
When Ben had first arrived in Willowmere, she'd told him she didn't want a relationship with
anyone, and had meant it. But she was realising that the bond between them remained unbroken. It
might be battered and bent, but it was still there and always would be.
* * * * *
Next door Ben was also in a more sombre mood, remembering how Georgina had described herself
at the hospital. He'd taken it on board at the time but pushed her words to the back of his mind. Now
they'd come back to plague him and he wondered if they'd been a reminder that nothing had
changed. That there might be precarious harmony between them but he wasn't to take it for granted.
Her not wanting him with her when she went to see the gynaecologist fitted in with that.
Yet when she appeared carrying a picnic basket covered with a white napkin, she seemed happy
enough, and he resolutely put his uncertainties to one side.
If the fair hadn't been in full swing at the other side of the village, Willow Lake would have been
the star attraction on a sunny Easter Saturday, but as it was, there were just a few people there.
Some out for a walk, others just sitting beside the water's edge, enjoying the peace of the place or
having a picnic like themselves.
As Ben was opening up a couple of folding chairs and a small table that he'd taken from the boot of
the car Georgina looked away and, seeing her expression, he asked, 'What's making you look like
that?'
She managed a smile. 'Just a memory, that's all.' Before he could question her further, her attention
was caught by the approach of Christine Quarmby, for once without her gamekeeper husband.
'Do I take the absence of your husband to mean there's a shoot taking place on Lord Derringham's
estate?' she asked Christine after introducing Ben as her next-door neighbour and pretending not to
notice the glint in his eye.
'Yes,' was the answer. 'His lordship has people staying with him over Easter, and Dennis is on call
all the time. He wishes he wasn't as he's concerned about me, but I tell him that his job is our bread
and butter, and I have to learn to be less reliant on him. It might sound ridiculous, Georgina, but I
feel better now I know what is wrong with me.
'I'm not jumping for joy, far from it, but for anyone who is waiting for the results of tests and a
diagnosis, it's like wandering in the wilderness. I've read all I can find about Sjogren's syndrome
and searched on the Internet so I know the score. But it isn't going to stop me from leading as
normal a life as possible.' She smiled at Ben, who had been listening intently. And now I'll go on
my way having had my exercise for today.'
When she'd gone, he said, 'Is it secondary Sjogren's?'
'Yes. It stems from rheumatoid arthritis in Christine's case.'
'That's tough.'
'Yes, indeed. There is no known cure at the moment, but hopefully there will be one day.'
They'd left the picnic basket on the backseat of the car and now she went to get it and asked, 'Are
you ready to eat?'
'Yes,' he said absently. 'It seems a long time since breakfast.'
His voice was flat. She sensed a change of mood in him and knew she wasn't wrong when he said,
'It isn't working, is it, Georgina? If I asked you to marry me a second time, what would you say?'
She was speechless with surprise. What had happened to his brisk confidence? Into the silence he
said, 'You would say no, wouldn't you? You don't miss an opportunity to hammer it home that you
were happier before I came on the scene. But I'm afraid I'm not going anywhere. You're going to
have to endure having me here in Willowmere because the baby you're carrying is just as much
mine as yours.'
She found her voice. 'What has brought this on?' she croaked. 'We've been getting on fine these last
few days.'
'I have,' he replied. 'I can't vouch for you. I'm going to start looking around for a property to buy, so
that our situation won't be so claustrophobic, and also so that when it's my turn to have the baby, it
won't be in a bare rented house.'
'You've certainly been making your plans!' she exclaimed, unaware that he'd just said the first thing
that had come into his head. 'So are you going to put the London house on the market?'
'No. We need somewhere close to where Jamie is, don't we?'
'You've certainly changed your attitude in the last couple of hours,' she said in a low voice. 'I'm
sorry I haven't come up to scratch.' She got to her feet. 'I'll leave you to it as I've suddenly lost my
appetite. I'll walk back. I need the fresh air.'
He was about to protest, but she didn't give him the chance, and as he watched her walk away
beside the lake's clear waters he thought sombrely that if James's sister had fond memories of
Willow Lake, he'd just spoilt it for Georgina.
He didn't stay long, ate some of the food without tasting it, then packed up and drove back to the
cottage, taking note on his arrival that her car wasn't there.
She hadn't gone far. Georgina had driven up the hill road that led to the moors and was seated,
gazing blankly in front of her, the car a solitary vehicle parked against the skyline, with the rugged
grandeur of the peaks on either side.
Back there by the lake Ben had told her out of the blue that he'd given up on them being reconciled
and it had taken hearing it put into words for her to acknowledge that her protestations that she
wanted to stay as she was had been just a way of protecting herself from any more hurt.
She did want them to be a proper family again when the baby came. But Ben had taken on board
what she'd said earlier, and as she'd been so definite, he'd had a change of mind. Now he was
talking about buying a property in Willowmere that was not so close as they were now, and was in
favour of them bringing up their child separately.
It was what she'd wanted at the start, because she'd been confused by his arrival in Willowmere, but
the more they were together the more she wanted them to be like they'd been before. Instead she'd
blocked every move he'd made towards that end. 'If I asked you to marry me a second time, you
would say no, wouldn't you?' he'd said, without giving her the chance to reply,
and now she was having to accept that she'd played the 'I am my own woman' card once too often.
If she were to tell him now that the answer would be yes if he asked her to marry him again, he
wouldn't believe her. She could hear herself saying what sort of a woman she had become as they
were leaving the hospital that morning. Warning him once again that she wasn't going to fall into
his arms and take up where they'd left off three years ago.
So, what now? she thought miserably. The sensible thing would be to carry on as normal. It was just
a matter of weeks before she gave birth and that was the most important thing in both their lives. If
afterwards Ben kept to his word and moved out of their close proximity, she would have to console
herself with the knowledge that at least he was in Willowmere, and accept that once they were
parents again, she might be the one who had to do the begging.
When she arrived back at the cottage, Georgina saw that Ben had returned and she hurried inside,
only to have to open the door to him seconds later and find him on the step, holding the picnic
hamper.
'You haven't eaten since this morning, have you?' he said, bringing the moment down to basics. 'So
why not make use of this?' Placing it in her hands, he turned and went without commenting that she
should be eating for two, but she was pretty sure that was what he was thinking.
She stayed in for the rest of the weekend, saw Ben drive off and return a few times but he didn't call
again,
and when Easter was over, she set off for the practice on Tuesday morning, grateful for the chance
to be near him.
As she waited for her first patients to present themselves, she thought that it was typical of life's
twists and turns that when Ben had joined the practice she'd thought it wasn't a good idea from her
point of view. Now his presence there was assuming the proportions of a lifeline, if only he would
come out of his consulting room and say something.
As if he'd read her thoughts, the door across the passage from hers opened and he was there, smiling
a tight smile and asking dryly, 'How was the Easter egg?'
It was hardly what she'd expected to be the first topic of conversation when they came face to face
again, but she held on to her composure and said, 'I've eaten the George part and saved you the Gina
bit. Perhaps you'd like to call round for it?'
'Yes, perhaps I would,' he said, unconvincingly, and she thought that the gap between them was
widening. Then he asked, 'What arrangements have you made with James for tomorrow, when you
see the gynaecologist?'
'I'm taking the afternoon off. Are you coming?'
'Yes, I'm coming. I thought we'd sorted that? I'll have to meet you there, though, and come straight
back, as it will be two doctors missing from the surgery all afternoon if I don't.'
'Yes, whatever is best for the surgery,' she agreed.
It was a moment to tell him that she really did want him there beside her when she saw their baby
on the scan, but if she told Ben that he might find it hard to believe after what had happened
between them at that travesty of a picnic.
As Michael Meredith seated himself opposite her minutes later, Georgina wondered what had
brought the local celebrity to the surgery. The man was a well-known botanist turned writer who
wrote about the flora and fauna of the countryside and was something of a recluse.
Unmarried and in his sixties, he was rarely seen at the surgery, but today he had made an
appointment for some reason that she was about to discover.
He was a pleasant man with a well-modulated voice and open expression, and as they exchanged
smiles she asked, 'What can I do for you today, Mr Meredith?'
'I'm in severe pain at the bottom of my back and down my right leg, Dr Adams,' he informed her. 'I
was clambering over some rocks to get a rare specimen a couple of days ago and slipped and jarred
my hip. Within a short time the pain came and it is the kind of agony one can't ignore.'
'If you would like to lift your shirt and loosen the belt of your trousers, I'll take a look,' she told him.
After examining his lower spine, right hip and knee, she said, 'I think you might have damaged the
sciatic nerve which is the biggest nerve in the body. It passes behind the pelvis, then backwards to
the buttock, from where it runs behind the hip joint and down the back of the thigh. When it reaches
the knee, it separates into two separate nerves, known as the tibial nerve and the common peroneal
nerve, and the pain that you've described are in those areas. In the meantime I'll give you some
strong painkillers and a letter to take to the radiology department at St Gabriel's and they'll X-ray
you while you're there.'
'What, straight away?' he exclaimed.
'Yes. You might have to wait a little while but it will be done on the spot. I should get the result
within the week and in the meantime don't go rock climbing.'
He was smiling as he got up to go. 'There's no likelihood of that in my present state.'
Or in mine, Georgina thought as the botanist bade her goodbye.
When Beth came round with a tray of coffee in the middle of the morning, she said, 'You don't look
very chirpy this morning, Georgina. Pregnancy gets wearying towards the end, doesn't it? And the
hormones start playing tricks. One moment the mother-to-be is happy, and the next she's all
droopy.'
'That decribes me exactly,' she told Beth, but knew her depression wasn't anything to do with
hormones.
As she came up the lane that evening, drenched by a sudden downpour that had caught her
unawares on her solitary stroll, Ben's door opened and they came face to face for the second time in
the day.
'You're wet through!' he exclaimed, taking in the vision of her hair lying damply against her head
and the loose dress that she'd changed into when she'd arrived home from the surgery clinging to
her ample waistline.
'Yes, I do know that,' she said wryly, 'and I didn't do it on purpose, so if you'll excuse me, I'll go and
change into some dry clothes.'
'And then will you come back for a moment?'
'Er, yes, if you want me to,' she agreed doubtfully, 'but I don't want a lecture.'
'You won't get one,' he promised quickly. 'And now will you go and get out of those wet clothes? I
can't run the surgery on my own if you get pneumonia.'
'Yes, all right,' she agreed flatly. 'I'd hate to be a nuisance.'
She was unzipping the dress even as she opened her front door and as soon as she was in the hall
stepped out of it and then went to towel her hair dry.
Exhaustion always seemed to creep over her at this time of day and, instead of changing into fresh
clothes, Georgina wrapped herself in a warm robe and padded across to the house next door.
When she'd left him by the lakeside, Ben had forced himself to stay where he was. He'd wanted to
chase after her and give Georgina the chance to reply to his outburst, but hadn't done so because
he'd believed he was right and her abrupt departure had only added to that feeling.
They'd been in harmony for days until she'd outlined what she wanted from life as they'd been
leaving the hospital, and it had made him see that they were not going anywhere as a couple.
It had been a pleasant enough moment when he'd taken her to buy an Easter egg, and when she'd
followed it up with the suggestion that they have a picnic, he'd been all for it, but it hadn't stopped
him remembering what she'd said before that. It had kept going round and round in his mind and his
optimism had suddenly been in short supply.
Now he was regretting letting it show, as instead of bringing everything out into the open it had
made the future more uncertain, with the only thing to hold on to being the arrival of the baby.
'You're tired,' he said when he opened the door to her.
'Yes,' she agreed, and thought she wasn't just that, she was miserable and lost and lonely. Her time
was drawing near and she had no stable plans for the future. She'd known where she'd been heading
before Ben had come to Willowmere. Had been ready to step into the role of single mother, but his
coming had changed all that.
Just as she'd been beginning to accept that there could be a second chance of the family life that had
been so important to them in the past, she'd driven Ben away by harping on how she was content
with her lot as a woman alone.
Unaware of her heartsearching, he was trying to think of a reason for asking her to call back after
she'd dried out. The truth of it was, he just wanted to be with her for a while, without the trappings
of the surgery around them.
'I've made a hot drink to warm you up after the soaking you got,' he said. 'It can get chilly once the
sun goes down.'
'Thanks for that,' she told him, feeling some of the chill of her body and mind disappear at the first
sign that Ben might be relenting.
'How's the blood pressure?' he was asking, and she flashed him a pale smile.
'AH right so far. It's the first question Ian will ask tomorrow afternoon.'
'Talking about blood pressure going up, ours in particular, do you remember that poor guy who'd
fallen down the rock face?'
'Yes, of course I do.'
'When they got him to A and E they discovered he'd suffered a subdural haematoma from the fall
and had to operate on him smartly.'
And how is he now?'
'Doing all right, from what I can gather. I had to do a bit of pulling rank when I rang the other day
to ask how he was, with my not being a relative, but the sister in charge mellowed when she knew I
was one of the doctors who'd treated him up on the tops.'
'Why didn't you tell me before?' she asked, her eyes questioning above the rim of a mug of hot
chocolate.
'Why do you think?' he asked dryly. 'I've been giving you the space that you are so keen to have.'
She put the mug down and got to her feet, too tired to get involved in emotional matters. 'Thanks for
telling me about the walker.' She didn't comment on his last remark because it had been partly true.
She did want her own space and she always would. But she wanted him more.
'What was it that you asked me to come back for?' she asked from the doorway.
'I just wanted to confirm the arrangements for tomorrow. I'll try to be there for quarter to three,' he
said,
improvising quickly, and with a brief nod, she went.
* * * * *
Once again sleep was long in coming, and as she lay wide-eyed beneath the covers, Georgina was
thinking about how Ben's patience and understanding had been easing her into a new beginning
after his arrival in the village, and now it had all fallen apart. They desperately needed a better
understanding. Perhaps seeing the baby on the scan tomorrow would be a step towards it, but Ben
wasn't one for going back on his word.
When she arrived at the consultant's rooms at a quarter to three there was no sign of him. Her heart
sank, but maybe she was being a bit previous. There was still time for him to arrive.
She was beginning to feel weepy and vulnerable as the minutes ticked by and he still didn't appear,
but consoled herself with the thought that it was because her hormones were all over the place as
Beth had suggested, and there were other body changes to contend with, too. So by the time she was
shown into the presence of the gynaecologist, she was resigned to the fact that Ben wasn't coming.
All the fussing and insisting that he was going to be there had been for nothing.
Ben had arrived on time but, having parked his car, had just crossed the busy main road to get to the
large Victorian building that housed the private rooms of various consultants when a young boy
walking in front of him with his mother had gone into a fit.
It had appeared to be the first time ever, as the woman had been transfixed with shock. Ben had
been beside them in an instant, loosening the child's clothing and checking that his tongue hadn't
gone back and blocked the airway.
'We mustn't move your boy,' he'd told her. 'He will come out of it gradually. Has he had a
convulsion before?'
'No, never,' she sobbed.
'I'm going to phone for an ambulance,' he announced. 'I'm a children's doctor and I will stay with
you until they get here. Try not to be too alarmed. He won't remember a thing when he comes
round. But he needs to be taken to hospital to be examined.'
He was glancing at his watch. It was ten minutes past three. Georgina would think he wasn't
coming. The woman had seen him checking the time and begged, 'Don't leave us. I'm terrified. I've
never seen anyone in a fit before.'
'I won't leave you,' he promised, and prayed that the ambulance wouldn't be long. It came in ten
minutes, but it took another five for him to feel he could safely leave the woman and the boy, who
was now coming out of what was very likely to be an epileptic seizure.
He ran the rest of the way and told Ian Sefton's receptionist, 'I should have met Georgina Adams
here at three o'clock, but have been delayed. Is she in with Dr Sefton now?'
'Yes,' the receptionist said. 'I'll buzz him and let him know that you've arrived.' After doing so, she
looked up and smiled. 'You can go in, Dr Allardyce.'
'I'm so sorry,' Ben said as he faced Georgina and the consultant. A child in front of me on the street
had a seizure as I was approaching this place. His mother was almost hysterical and I just had to
stay with them until an ambulance came. Have I missed the scan?'
Georgina was smiling. Ben had come after all. He'd always been a man of his word. How could she
have doubted him?
'All is well with the baby and mother,' Ian Sefton told him. 'I will show you both the scan in a
moment, and you will see that the head hasn't yet moved down into the pelvis. That is normal
enough in a woman who already has had a child. So now the picture show, which I'm sure you must
be eager to see. There is your baby,' he said, and they gazed enraptured a the image.
Georgina reached out and took Ben's hand in hers, saying in a low voice, 'I thought you weren't
coming and I'm ashamed.'
'Don't be,' he told her huskily, with the wonder of the moment sweet upon him. 'We've made a
child, Georgina, and we're going to give it all the love that we never got the chance to give Jamie.'
'I want to see you again in a fortnight now that you're into your third trimester of the pregnancy,' the
consultant was saying. He turned to Ben. 'I've checked the blood pressure myself, even though as a
doctor Georgina is quite capable of monitoring it, and at this stage I'm satisfied there are no
problems coming from that direction. I know that she had a difficult pregnancy with your first child,
so I'll be keeping a keen eye open for any signs of hypertension.'
When they'd left the building, and were going to their separate cars, Ben said, 'I'm relieved that so
far your blood pressure is behaving itself. I've been dreading...'
He hadn't put it into words, so she said it for him. 'That we might lose this child as well?'
'It just seems too good to be true. Everything does.'
'Not quite everything,' she said gravely, and as she wasn't going to beg, got into her car and set off
for Partridge Lane, leaving Ben to make his way back to the practice for the rest of the afternoon.
She didn't see him that evening, which was something of an anti-climax after those incredible
moments at the gynaecologist's. Having the afternoon off meant that she ate earlier than usual and
had her walk earlier. She'd expected that he would be home by the time she got back, but there was
no sign of Ben's car on his driveway. Feeling tired and disappointed, she decided to go to bed.
When she'd undressed and put on the roomy nightdress that he'd once ironed for her, Georgina
stood motionless by the wall that separated the two cottages. The longing to have Ben beside her
through the night was so strong she felt that he must surely sense it on the other side of the wall.
But nothing moved. There was no knock on her door or urgent ringing of the phone and, turning
away, she climbed slowly into bed. It was as she placed her head on the pillow that she heard it and
it was not the kind of sound she was longing for.
There was hammering coming from the other side of the wall and the whirring of a hand drill, and
she thought wryly that Ben's thoughts must be a million miles away from hers if he was putting
shelves up or hanging pictures.
Since he felt that they still had separate agendas for the future, Ben found the evenings never-
ending with Georgina next door, so near physically yet so out of reach in every other way. He
needed something to occupy himself with and had decided he was going to fill the empty hours by
making a cot for the baby.
They'd bought a crib but he knew that infants soon outgrew their first sleeping place and the thought
of their child lying in a cot that he'd made for it was appealing, He'd bought all that was needed for
the venture on his way home and was now hard at work in the spare bedroom, unaware that the
noise of his labours could be heard through the thick stone walls of the cottage.
'What were you doing last night, putting shelves up?' Georgina asked the next morning as they were
about to leave for the surgery in their separate cars.
'Why? Could you hear me?' he exclaimed. 'I'm sorry if I disturbed you.' Intending that the cot was
going to be a surprise, he replied, 'No. I was repairing a loose floorboard.'
'Oh, I see,' she replied, and let the matter drop.
CHAPTER SEVEN
As they drove to the practice they passed Jess, the nanny, taking James's children to school. When
they arrived at the surgery, Georgina said, 'Are we going to do as you suggested and take Pollyanna
and Jolyon out for the day?'
He didn't reply immediately and she wondered if he was remembering Jamie and thinking that he
was always involved with other people's children, never his own. Yet surely the baby she was
carrying was going to take some of that kind of ache away? And it had been Ben's idea in the first
place.
He was observing her thoughtfully, and she wasn't to know that his hesitation was on her behalf.
She was nearing the end of her pregnancy, had a demanding job at the practice, and should be
resting whenever possible. But he knew what Georgina would say to that. It would be the same
thing she said to the women at the antenatal clinic at the surgery. Pregnancy was a natural thing, not
an illness. But with regard to the woman he adored there was the spectre of possible blood pressure
problems in the background.
He longed to hold another child of theirs in his arms,
but she came first. Three long and lonely years had shown how much she meant to him, and he'd
resigned himself to accepting it if she didn't want him back in the fullest sense. As long as he could
be near her and the baby when it came, so that he could watch over them, he would stay on the
fringe of their lives for ever if he had to. It would be better than nothing.
She was waiting for an answer. 'Yes, if you like,' he said with assumed easiness. 'But only if you
feel up to it and whatever we do isn't too strenuous.'
'I'll mention it to James, then. How about this coming Saturday?'
'Fine by me,' he said, unable to stop his spirits from lifting at the thought of spending some prime
time with her. 'Where should we take them?'
'There's a stately home not far from here that gets lots of visitors. The inside is full of beautiful
pictures and antique furniture, which wouldn't be of much interest to Pollyanna and Jolyon, but in
the grounds there are brilliant amusements for children and lots of animals for them to see. Once
we've done the rounds, there are grassy slopes where visitors can picnic if they don't want to use the
restaurants.'
'That sort of place would be ideal for keeping a couple of youngsters happy for a few hours,' he
agreed. 'Hopefully the picnic will be an improvement on our last one.'
'Thanks for reminding me of the day you gave up on me,' she said quietly, and preceded him into
the roomy stone building that was the centre of healthcare in the village.
* * * * *
'That would be great,' James said, when Georgina approached him about having the children for the
day. 'It will give me the chance to do a few things I haven't been able to get to for ages. What time
shall I have them ready?'
'Ten o'clock, shall we say? It will take us an hour to get there.'
'They'll love it,' he enthused. 'Especially if Ben is there. Don't be surprised if Jolyon turns up with
his cricket gear.'
'I never did find out where Ben got that cap from,' she said laughingly.
'It probably belonged to one of the junior team and had been left hanging around the pavillion.' He
smiled.
Georgina was smiling too as she drove to the local children's boutique, a small but classy place
called Ribbons and Rompers. The owner, Tessa Graham, had asked for a visit. After leaving James
to his own activities, she was making the shop her first stop.
When Georgina arrived there, she saw that the shop blinds were still down and there were no signs
of life around the place. She rang the bell outside a door at the bottom of stairs that led to an
upstairs apartment, and it was a few moments before it was opened. Tessa was revealed hunched in
a towelling robe and looking pale and listless.
As she led the way upstairs the shopowner said weakly, 'I've got the most awful stomach cramps, Dr
Adams, and have been vomiting and had diarrhoea for most of the night. I think I passed out once. I
found myself on the bathroom floor and don't recall how I got there.'
'It sounds as if you might have food poisoning,' Georgina told her, 'or a severe gastric upset of some
sort.' She was looking around her, could see into the kitchen and it was spotless, as was the rest of
the apartment.
'Have you eaten anything in the last twenty-four hours that could be suspect?' she asked.
I went to a barbeque last night and had some sausage that could have done with being cooked a bit
longer, but apart from that I can't think of anything else that could have caused it. I'm usually very
fussy about what I eat.'
'Maybe not fussy enough this time,' Georgina suggested. 'It could be the sausage that has caused
this, so don't eat any food until you haven't been sick or had diarrhoea for several hours, and then
only small amounts of very plain food. In the meantime, try small sips of water and gradually build
up your fluid intake. Make sure you drink regularly. The only comfort to be had from this sort of
thing is that once the stomach has emptied itself and the colon likewise it can only go on for so long
and then it must be allowed to settle. Send for me again, Tessa, if the symptoms persist or get
worse, but I think it will have been the sausages that have upset you.'
When she arrived back at the practice, Ben was closeted with a patient. As soon as he was free he
asked, 'Have you spoken to James?'
'Yes, he's happy for us to have the children for the day'
And are we sticking to plan A?'
'Yes, and I think we should pray for good weather as these dry, sunny days aren't going to last for
ever.'
He nodded, and in a more serious tone said, 'Have you decided what you are going to do about the
practice when you have the baby? Are you going to take the full maternity leave? I can't believe we
haven't discussed it.'
'That's because of the confusion in our lives,' she told him. 'But you're right. It needs to be sorted.'
'So why don't I take you out for a meal tonight and we'll talk about it while we're relaxing? It will
save us having to cook.'
If he thought she was going to be relaxed while they were discussing the future, Ben was very much
mistaken. But the idea of dining together, as they'd done a few times when he first came to the
village, was appealing, and she said, 'Yes, that would be nice.'
James had overheard the conversation and said, 'There is something that has just cropped up that
might influence your plans, or otherwise. You know that I wouldn't want to lose you, Georgina, as
the practice wouldn't be the same without you, but if you decided you wanted a break from work
until your little one is older, I've had a registrar from St Gabriel's on the phone. He wants to move
into general practice and as his contract with the hospital is up at the end of May, he asked if there
was any likelihood of a vacancy in Willowmere.
'His name is David Tremayne and he met Anna and Glenn in A and E last winter on the day when
there was a near tragedy on Willow Lake. It was frozen over and when the ice began to melt
someone fell through and nearly drowned.
'It must have stuck in his mind and he's coming in for a chat. He sounded a very capable guy but,
Georgina, I want us to do what is best for you. So let me know once you've decided. And enjoy
your meal.'
She smiled. It would be great just getting dressed up and going to a nice restaurant, but the real
pleasure would be in the opportunity to spend some time alone with Ben. If only he felt the same as
she did, she would stand over a hot stove if she had to.
When he'd first come to Willowmere, he had been desperate for her company. Now it was just the
opposite. It was she who longed for his, but ever since he'd said that it wasn't working out between
them, it had been in short supply socially.
She was seeing plenty of him at the surgery but that was a different ball game. They were there to
work.
When she opened the door to him dressed in a long black skirt and a low-necked top, relieved by a
silver choker, he said, 'Very nice! It reminds me of how it used to be before we were married. You
opening the door of your parents' house to me all dressed up for the evening ahead. You're a
beautiful woman, Georgina.'
She patted her midriff laughingly and questioned, 'Like this?'
'Yes, like that. Pregnancy suits you.'
'Next thing you'll be saying I should try it more often,' she teased, still in a light-hearted mood, but
his reply was serious.
'I suggest that we focus on getting this little one safely into the world.'
'Yes, of course,' she told him. 'I've started putting my feet up for half an hour each evening when I
get home.'
'They're not swelling, are they?'
'Just a little, but they'll be down by morning.' She pushed him gently to one side as she locked the
door, and then they were off.
'So where are we heading?' she asked half an hour later as Ben turned the car onto the hill road in
the dusk of a spring night.
'A new place that was recommended to me by a patient,' he explained. 'It's described as a farm
restaurant and she said the food was delicious.'
'Ah! I know it!' she exclaimed. 'I noticed it when I was up there visiting a patient a few weeks ago. I
remember thinking that someone had invested a lot of money in it, considering that it's rather out in
the wilds.'
'Yes, that may be, but don't you think that people are prepared to travel miles for some good food?'
As they were shown to a table in a tastefully presented dining room that was already half-full, it
seemed as if Ben's comment that the population would travel far for some good food had been
correct. When it was put in front of them, they had their answer in succulent steaks and crispy
home-grown vegetables.
They ate silently and with relish after a long and busy day, and it wasn't until they were relaxing
over a coffee for Ben and a herbal tea for Georgina that she said, 'Until you came I intended to take
full maternity leave from the practice, for obvious reasons. I was on my own, and I didn't think I
could bear to leave the baby in someone else's care any sooner than I had to. If that someone was
you it would be a different matter. But now you're involved in the practice as much as I am.'
'I don't have to be if James takes on another doctor. He might decide to do that if this registrar from
St Gabriel's is the right man for the job.'
'You said you were going to look for a property,' she reminded him. 'That could affect any
arrangements we made—especially if it was out of the area.'
As if! Everything he cared about was here in Willowmere.
'Have you seen anything suitable?' she continued.
'No, not yet. I haven't had a lot of time for househunting so far.'
She nodded. 'The weeks are speeding past. Sometimes I can hardly believe that I'm carrying our
child and will soon be giving birth.'
He didn't have that problem, Ben was thinking. The baby was always in his thoughts. As was his
beautiful wife.
Ever since he'd found out that Georgina was pregnant it had been like stepping out of darkness, but
it wasn't stopping him from feeling that he didn't deserve it after the way he'd acted in the past.
Calm, clinical doctor that he was, neither did it prevent him from waking up in the night with the
dread in him that something could go wrong.
After they'd seen the scan at the gynaecologist's rooms, Ian Sefton had phoned him that same night,
and he'd been tense as a violin string when he'd heard his voice at the other end of the line. But it
had been merely a social call to say that until he'd seen them together he'd had no idea that he was
the father of Georgina Adams's baby.
'She was my wife once,' Ben had explained in clipped tones, 'but we lost our little boy in a tragic
accident and our marriage broke down.'
'Sadly, that can happen,' the other man had said gravely. 'But you're back together again and starting
a new family, which has to be good. Before I take up any more of your evening, the reason I called
is because I'd very much like to chat with you some time. I'm a great admirer of your work, and
often paediatrics and gynaecology walk hand in hand.'
'Yes, why not?' he'd agreed. 'Some time after the baby is born, perhaps.'
'You're not listening,' Georgina was protesting.
'Sorry. I was thinking about a phone call I had from Ian Sefton the other night.'
'Not about me, I would hope!'
'No. That would hardly be ethical, would it? He wants me to meet up with him when it's convenient,
to discuss our respective professions.'
'That's nice.'
'Yes, I suppose so. Let's talk about babycare. There are a few options open to us. My staying at
home while you go back to work is one of them. It would give me lots of time with the baby.'
'I wouldn't want you to do that,' she told him.
He stilled. 'Why?' Because I'm not really your husband? he thought.
'Ben, your skills are too important to be hidden away. I know there are times when you feel that
your life is full of other people's children instead of your own, but those same children need you.
You can't disappear out of their lives.'
'So what, then?' he questioned.
'I don't know. James isn't rushing me into a decision now that he's got you, and if you want to go
back to what you do best he will still have David Tremayne in the practice, which gives me ample
time to decide what my future role in it will be. It will depend largely on what sort of arrangements
we make for the future.'
Georgina was giving him an opening, but he remained silent, and her hopes faded. It seemed that
Ben hadn't changed his mind. They were going to be together, yet apart, with just one precious bond
to bind them.
With the departure of the sun that had beamed down on Willowmere during daylight hours there
was a chill in the air when they left the restaurant and Georgina shivered in the flimsy clothes she
was wearing.
Ben had seen the shudder and was already taking off his jacket and draping it around her shoulders
protectively. The simple, caring gesture brought tears to her eyes.
He saw them and wanted to know, 'What's wrong?'
'Nothing,' she told him, managing a watery smile, and thought that their lives were full of
contradictions.
When he turned the car into Partridge Lane, she said hesitantly, 'Would you like to come in for a
nightcap?'
Of course he would like to! He would like to go inside with her and stay there for evermore he
thought, but he knew that Georgina was still holding back. He'd lost her trust once and she wasn't
going to risk any further heartbreak even though the bond was still there.
In his most despondent moments he told himself that if it hadn't been for the baby, she would have
sent him away long ago, but almost as if by divine providence they'd been given something to unite
them in joyful anticipation.
'No, thanks just the same,' he said easily, trying not to choke on the words.
She nodded as if that was the answer she'd been expecting, and went inside.
When they went to call for Pollyanna and Jolyon on Saturday morning, the children were watching
for them from the window of Bracken House. When James opened the door, he said, 'These two
young ones have been looking for you ever since breakfast-time and are bursting to know where
you're taking them.'
'We're going to a place where there are lots of animals and exciting things to do,' Ben told them.
'We're going to have a picnic while we're there, as well.'
Georgina smiled as the children, with eyes like saucers, listened to what he had to say.
'You'll have hit the jackpot with that,' James said.
Pollyanna was hopping with excitement, but Jolyon,
always the deeper thinker of the two, wanted to know, 'Are we going to play cricket?'
'Yes, if you want to.' Ben smiled. 'Go and get your bat and ball and the stumps.'
The little boy didn't waste any time. He was back within minutes and they were off, waving their
goodbyes to James as the car pulled away from Bracken House.
The weather was holding out for them and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Georgina was determined
that there weren't going to be any in her sky on this bright Saturday morning.
When they arrived at their destination, Ben looked around him at green lawns, silent statues and
fountains in profusion in front of a beautiful old house.
'This is great!' he exclaimed, and turned to the children. 'What do you want to do first?'
'See the animals,' they chorused.
'Right! So that's what we'll do,' he said. Afterwards, how about some ice cream before we go on all
those exciting things in the play areas?'
'Yes, please!' they said.
'And then can we play cricket?' Jolyon asked quietly.
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