Abigail Strom - Winning the Right Brother p.02

Holly laughed a little shakily. “You’re doing that thing where you’re so mature it freaks me out.”

“Sorry,” Will said, with a ghost of his old grin. “I’m sure I’ll make up for it later with some stupid teenage behavior.”

Mother and son stood for several minutes in silence, watching the firemen at work on the blackened ruin that had once been their home.

After a while Will spoke again. “I’ve got an idea. How about we agree it was just a terrible accident that’s no one’s fault?”

Holly took a deep breath and let it out. “Deal,” she said, giving him a quick hug. “And by the way, you’re freaking me out again.”

Alex had come back in time to hear their last exchange.

“You know, I made that exact point earlier, and you punched me in the jaw.”

Holly smiled at him. “I guess Will’s presentation is just more credible than yours.” She reached up a hand and brushed the hair off Alex’s forehead before running her fingers softly across the scar that sliced through his eyebrow to his temple. “I think it’s this scar. Gives you a disreputable air.”

At the touch of her fingers Alex took in a quick, sharp breath and then went absolutely still, forgetting to breathe at all as he stared down at her. Holly’s mind was still full of the events of the evening and she didn’t notice the intensity of his reaction.

But someone else did.

Holly was startled when her son smacked himself on the forehead. “What’s up, Will?” she asked, turning to look at him.

“Nothing,” he said. “Not important. By the way, not that it isn’t fun standing around here in front of what used to be a house, but where are we staying tonight? We could probably go to Mrs. Hanneman’s if there’s nowhere else. Or I guess we could find a hotel. Whatever we’re doing, could we do it soon? I feel like I could fall down where I’m standing.”

Holly glanced at Alex doubtfully. “Well, your coach suggested we could stay with him for a few days while we—”

“That’s a great idea!” Will said, surprising her with his enthusiasm. “I mean…thanks, Coach. It’s really nice of you. We won’t be any trouble. Or at least I won’t. Of course my mom’s kind of a handful….”

“I can handle your mom,” Alex said firmly. Will broke into a grin. Holly yawned, and stumbled suddenly, and Will and Alex each grabbed her by an arm. “You know, I think I’m a little tired, too,” she said, as if surprised by the discovery.

“Okay, time to go,” Alex said. “The firemen said we could leave whenever we wanted, and I told them where you’ll be if they need to reach you. My car’s across the street. Walking wounded carry the stretcher cases.”

Holly drifted in and out of awareness as Alex drove away from her neighborhood near the center of town and out toward the rolling farmlands on the outskirts. The next thing she knew Alex was leading her and Will into a lovely old farmhouse and turning the light on in the front hallway. She looked around her without seeing very much.

“I have three guest bedrooms,” Alex was saying as he led them upstairs, “so at least there’s plenty of room. There’s furniture, too, because I bought this place in an estate sale and a lot of the original stuff stayed.” He paused at an open doorway. “Will, why don’t you take this room? I’ll go find you some towels and a toothbrush, and you can borrow a pair of my pajamas. Wait right here.”

Holly was sorry when Alex disappeared, because his voice had been comforting, a warm, low baritone that somehow made it seem as if everything was going to be all right. She and Will looked around the small bedroom, which was a little bare, with a wrought-iron bedstead and a big oak dresser and not much else. But the bed looked comfortable, and the antique quilt on it was lovely, and Holly felt content to think of her son sleeping here tonight.

After a minute Alex was back with an armful of things for Will, which he set down on the bed. “Do you need anything else?” he asked. “Something to drink?”

Will shook his head. “Mrs. Hanneman gave me water at her place. I’m fine. I think I’m just going to shower and go to bed, if that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay. You’re not going to school tomorrow, so sleep in as late as you want.”

“Hey,” Holly protested. “We Stantons are tough. A little thing like the total destruction of everything we own doesn’t stop us from going to school and work on Monday morning.”

Alex ignored her. “Wake up when you wake up,” he said to the teenager, who nodded gratefully.

“Good night, Mom. Good night, Coach,” he said, stifling a yawn.

“Good night, Will,” Alex said, steering Holly out of the room.

“Well, I guess it’s all right for Will to take a day off,” Holly grumbled, “but not me. You got that, Alex McKenna?” she asked as he led her down the hall and into another bedroom. “I am going to get up at 7:00 a.m. like I always do and will youlook at thatbed! ” she exclaimed when she saw it, a beautiful queen-size four-poster, with a scalloped headboard and a crocheted canopy.

“I thought you might like it,” said Alex, sounding pleased.

“It’s gorgeous,” Holly said, running a caressing hand over the carving on one of the bedposts. “I always wanted a bed like this, but I couldn’t justify spending the money.”

“Well,” Alex said. “I aim to please. You even have your very own bathroom, right through that door. I’ll go get you some towels and things.”

Alex disappeared and Holly wandered over to check out the bathroom. It was painted white and looked reasonably clean, if a little dilapidated. The bathtub, on the other hand, was absolutely incredible. A real Victorian style claw-foot tub that looked big enough to swim laps in.

Alex found her in the bathroom when he returned.

“What do you think?” he asked as he hung fresh towels over the bar behind the door and took a new toothbrush out of its box, placing it carefully in the holder on the sink.

“I would really love to take a bath in that thing,” Holly said, gazing wistfully at the tub.

“Well, then, why don’t you?”

Holly sighed. “It just seems too complicated right now. I’m so tired, Alex… I’ve never been this exhausted in my entire life. I think I’ll just go to bed and take a bath in the morning.”

He looked at her with one eyebrow up. “No offense, Holly, but you reek of smoke, and you look like a war refugee with all the dried blood. Don’t you think you might sleep better if you were clean? Especially when you add in the health factor of washing those scratches and getting antiseptic on them.”

Holly made a face. “You run me a bath then, since you’re so picky.” She rested her back against the bathroom wall and slid slowly down until she came to a sitting position. “I’ll just wait here so I don’t get your furniture all dirty.”

 

Alex looked down at her for a moment. She looked small and forlorn in her dirty nightgown with her red hair wild around her pale smudged face, and she still had more attitude in her little finger than any woman he’d ever met. “Fine,” he said, shaking his head.

This was all he needed, he thought, as he turned on the water and it thundered into the tub in a cloud of steam. It was bad enough she’d be sleeping under his roof, now he was running her a bath she’d be getting into soon, where she’d be naked and wet and…

“There’s no soap in here,” he said, not looking at Holly. “Just let the tub fill while I get some.”

When he came back Holly’s head was resting against the wall and her eyes were closed. Alex checked the water level, turning off the faucet and testing the temperature with his hand. Hot but not too hot. Nice and deep, too. This tub was huge.

A worrisome thought occurred and he asked, “You’re not going to fall asleep in there, are you? It would be pretty pathetic if you escaped a fire only to drown in my bathtub.”

Holly opened her eyes and shook her head solemnly. “Nope, I won’t drown. At least I don’t think I will. Thank you for running the bath, Alex.” She sat there, blinking up at him, and Alex held out a hand to pull her to her feet.

“Tell you what,” he said reluctantly. “You get in there and have a good soak, and I’ll go get some antiseptic and something for you to wear to bed, and then I’ll wait outside to make sure you’re okay.”

“That would be nice,” Holly said seriously.

She reached for the buttons on her nightgown and Alex backed away hastily. “Okay, then, I’ll be in the bedroom. Take your time, have fun, don’t fall asleep.” He got out of there fast and closed the door behind him, breathing a sigh of relief.

Oh, boy, was this a bad idea, he thought to himself as he looked in his dresser for something to give Holly to wear. How long was she going to be here? Long enough to drive him insane with lust? Could lust actually drive a person insane? Maybe he’d be the first American male to test that theory. The first one committed to an institution after a week of living under the same roof with a woman he couldn’t have.

You asked for this,Alex thought grimly as he grabbed hydrogen peroxide and bandages from his medicine chest. He’d invited them to stay here. Both of them, he reminded himself. Let’s not forget the fifteen-year-old kid in the next bedroom. Even if Holly could be persuaded to sleep with him, which would never happen for about a hundred different reasons, the most important was that her son was staying here, too.

Alex sat down on her bed to wait for Holly to finish, and a few minutes later she opened the door.

“Hi,” she said, blushing a little and keeping a tight grip on the front of her towel. She looked a little more awake now, her face pink, her hair lying in damp red ringlets against her bare shoulders, with droplets of water still clinging to her skin.

Alex levered himself up and started to retreat toward the door. “The medicine and bandages are on the bed. I brought you some things you could sleep in, too. I wasn’t sure what would be the most comfortable, so I brought you a couple of different pajama tops and some T-shirts. No, um, underwear of course—” he coughed “—but there’ll be plenty of time to go shopping tomorrow. I’ll take you in the morning, when you wake up.”

She was frowning at him. “I’m going to work in the morning.”

At least when she was irritating it helped distract him from her body. “No, you’re not,” he said, speaking slowly and distinctly.

“Yes, I am,” she said, speaking just as slowly and distinctly.

Alex sighed and tried to think of her weaknesses. “You’re just going to leave Will to cope with the trauma by himself?” Holly bit her lip and he pursued his advantage. “All I’m suggesting is that you take one day off to spend time with your son, so both of you can recover a little. Besides,” he added reasonably, “you don’t have anything to wear to work, unless you want to go in a pair of my pajamas. We need to take you shopping for one of those boring suits you like before you can go back.”

She was glaring at him, but he could tell he had her. “Fine,” she said grudgingly. “I will take one day off.” Her glare suddenly gave way to an enormous yawn. “I guess I should go to bed now,” she said, looking and sounding exhausted, and Alex nodded.

“Good night, Holly,” he said at the door.

“Good night, Alex.”

He closed the door softly behind him and went down the hall to his own bed, where he lay awake a long time before he finally fell asleep.

 

Holly woke up sore and aching and with a weary lassitude in every muscle. She opened her eyes, and memories of last night came flooding back.

There was a sudden weight in her chest, a clogging in her throat, a stinging behind her eyes. She turned her head into the pillow and cried for her home, for everything that had been lost. She cried for a long time.

After a while the tears stopped coming, and she rolled onto her back again. She lay there for several minutes, taking in deep breaths and letting them out again, watching the play of sunlight on the blue-and-green quilt. She turned her head to look out of the window and saw a huge maple tree right outside, glorious in October shades of red and orange and yellow.

There was a knock on her door, and when she called out, “Come in,” Alex was there.

He looked easy and comfortable in sweatpants and an old T-shirt. He had a pair of jeans over his arm, and he was carrying a tray.

“I must have done something right in a past life, after all,” she said, sitting up against the headboard. “At least men keep bringing me breakfast in bed.”

“Men?” Alex repeated with a frown, setting the tray down over her knees and sitting down on the foot of the bed. “What men? Who’s been bringing you breakfast in bed?”

“Just Will,” she answered, inhaling the delicious aroma of coffee and hot buttered toast. There was fruit, too, sliced up and arranged on a plate. “He’s on this health kick, thanks to you I think, where he insists on cooking us both a lot of hearty breakfasts that I never eat.” She looked again at the tray in front of her. “Normally I don’t have a big appetite when I first wake up in the morning, but this really looks good.”

Holly glanced up in time to catch his grin, and her heart skipped a beat. That was one killer smile. And now she’d be seeing it every day.

“That’s because it isn’t morning,” he informed her. “It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. You slept for twelve hours, beating your son by about forty-five minutes. He’s had his hearty breakfast and is now downstairs pawing through my music collection. What does it mean when a fifteen-year-old likes your taste in CDs? Does it mean you’re really cool, or that he’s kind of a geek?”

“Will is not a geek,” she said indignantly.

“Which must mean I’m cool,” he said smugly, grinning at her again, which made her think it might be a good idea to focus on something else, like her coffee. She looked down at the big blue mug, three quarters full of steaming black fluid, and added cream and sugar with careful attention.

“Mmm,” she said after the first sip and looked at him in surprise. “You make good coffee.”

“After thirty-five years as a bachelor, yes, I have learned to make good coffee.”

He was looking at the left side of her face as he spoke, and suddenly he leaned forward, running the tip of his index finger lightly over the scratch there. It hadn’t turned out to be very deep or serious after Holly had cleaned it last night, and she hadn’t even bothered with a Band-Aid.

The sensation of Alex’s fingertip tickled a little bit, making her shiver, and Holly turned her head away. But then his fingers were twining around a strand of her hair that he tucked behind her ear. Holly drew in a sharp breath.

“That scratch looks a lot better today,” he said softly, his touch lingering, and Holly felt her stomach muscles tighten. She licked her lips nervously and Alex pulled away, clearing his throat.

“Unfortunately, I don’t make much else other than coffee, although I do manage to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables and reasonably healthy things. I’m just not very creative in the kitchen.”

“Not interested in the culinary arts?” Holly asked, pleased that her voice sounded so normal.

Alex shrugged. “There doesn’t seem to be much point when you live alone. Maybe now that you and Will are here I’ll get inspired. I’ll have to get some more interesting groceries, though. Speaking of shopping, I thought we could hit the mall today to buy you and Will some clothes and other necessaries. I know we’re not going to be able to replace everything you lost overnight, but at least we can make a start.”

Holly was staring at him. “You’re a good guy,” she said slowly, as if realizing it for the first time. “You really are a good guy. You’re not a jerk.” She shook her head. “I was wrong about you, Alex.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Well, thanks. It’s good that you don’t think I’m a jerk anymore. Let me return the compliment. You’re a good guy, too, Holly Stanton.”

Holly started to smile. He looked so cute sitting there at the foot of the bed, his brown hair a little tousled and his blue eyes crinkling up at the corners when he smiled at her like that. She reallyliked him. How could she have missed out on a potential friendship like this?

“Nope,” she said now, enjoying herself. “Not good enough. I’m going to make you refute every one of the lousy things you’ve said to me over the years. Uptight, for instance.”

He considered it. “Well, you look pretty relaxed right now, so I guess I can take that one back.”

“Stuck up and holier-than-thou.”

“Okay, that I don’t even have to think about. Definitely not.”

“Stubborn.”

Alex snorted. “Sorry, kid, but that one I’m going to stand by.”

Holly made a face at him. “Fine. What else did you call me? Oh, right. Repressed.”

Alex’s eyebrows went up and he grinned again, this time slow and lazy, and Holly felt a sudden blaze of heat that started down low and moved through all her limbs. “Well,” he drawled. “Let me see. I think you blew that one out of water on Saturday night, wouldn’t you say?”

It was her own fault for bringing it up, Holly thought, blushing furiously. She’d been hoping to avoid any references to Saturday night as long as she was staying in Alex’s house, and here she’d gone and reminded him of it.

She suddenly remembered that she was wearing one of Alex’s T-shirts and no underwear. The shirt was huge on her, but it had ridden up above her hips, and right at the moment the blanket didn’t seem like very much protection….

She forced herself to meet Alex’s eyes, trying to think of some way to change the subject, when he leaned forward a little. “Did anyone ever tell you you’re absolutely adorable when you blush like that?”

Now the blush went from head to toe, and Holly had a sneaking suspicion he knew it.

“Darn you, Alex, you did that on purpose. Now I can’t stop.” She pressed her hands against her hot cheeks. “Cut it out.”

He leaned closer, tracing her bottom lip with a fingertip until she shivered.

“Cut what out?” he asked, his voice innocent.

She had to do something to stop this. Her pulse was racing and her breath was trapped somewhere in her throat and her body was on fire, and Alex could not be allowed to know how he made her feel, or at least not the full extent of it, because the humiliation of that would force her to leave, and this was a really comfortable bed and the bathtub was out of this world. Not to mention it would put an end to the friendship that had just begun between her and Alex and which already seemed too important to jeopardize.

She took a deep breath.“That,” she said firmly, pushing his hand away and getting a grip on her self-possession. “I watched you flirt your way through high school and I know it comes naturally to you, but it doesn’t to me and I don’t appreciate it. You’re just going to have to learn how to interact with a woman without flirting. It’ll be good for you.”

She frowned at him in sudden seriousness. “I really want this friendship thing to work, Alex. Will likes you, andI like you, which is a new thing and a little weird but nice, and we’re staying in your house. Please don’t ruin it by flirting with me. I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, I know it’s just how you are with women, but…well, I don’t like it. Let’s not mess this up, okay?”

Alex had pulled back, and Holly waited for his reaction. She’d told him the truth—at least most of it—and if he couldn’t deal with it, it was better she find out now.

“Mess this up,” he said finally, taking a deep breath. “No. That’s the last thing I want, too. It really is. I’m sorry, Holly,” he said almost formally, and Holly bit her lip, glad he was okay with what she’d said but wishing she could bring back the easy camaraderie they’d been sharing earlier.

Oh, well, she told herself, it would come back. And it would have gone up in flames if she hadn’t stopped what was happening before. If Alex had gone on touching her like that, there was a good chance she would have jumped him, and that would have screwed her life up in ways she didn’t like to think about. For one thing she would have been scraping her ego off the floor after Alex tried to explain he’d just been flirting, you know, like he always did, and he was sorry but he wasn’t really interested in her that way and besides her son was right downstairs and my God, did she have no moral fortitude at all?

Yes, I do,she thought firmly, as Alex slid off the bed.

“Take all the time you want getting up. I borrowed the jeans from a neighbor, who’s a little bigger than you, but they should get you through the day. As soon as you’re ready we’ll go shopping.”

“Sounds good,” she said, and Alex smiled at her briefly before making an exit.

Holly stared at the door he closed behind him, trying not to miss the heat she’d felt just a moment ago.




Chapter Six

Stupid, stupid, stupid. He was a grown man, not some hormone-driven kid.

And yet Alex literally couldn’t keep his hands off of Holly Stanton. When he was with her, he wanted to touch her. It was like a compulsion. Of course it didn’t help seeing her in bed, all sleepy and tousled and wearing one of his T-shirts, but still, he’d only lasted five minutes before reaching out to caress that perfect lower lip. In the next moment he would have put his mouth on hers, hot and hard, and the image was so appealing and so terrifying he was having trouble thinking about anything else.

God, he was such a jerk. Here was a woman who’d just lost her home in a fire, who was a guest in his house, and he’d started to make a move on her.

At least she’d thought it was just “how he was with women.” A little casual flirting on his part.

Alex paused in the upper hallway and leaned on the banister. Thankfully she didn’t know it was anythingbut casual. That no woman had ever affected him the way Holly did.

It was ironic, really. Alex had been with a lot of women, and had fun with most of them. He hoped that most of them had had fun, too. But none of those relationships had ever seemed to matter very much. They were enjoyable while they lasted, and that was it. He never felt as if he was necessary in any woman’s life, and no woman had ever been necessary to him.

Then there was Holly. Almost from the moment they’d met, he’d felt a connection to her. It was as if he had X-ray vision where Holly was concerned, letting him see the passion and vulnerability she hid from the world. Things no one else seemed to care about. And because he could see her so clearly, he’d always felt as if she needed him. Needed him in a way no other woman ever had.

And that was the true irony. She needed him, and he failed her—time after time.

He’d never been able to help her. He hadn’t talked her out of dating Brian; he hadn’t convinced her to marry him when she was pregnant and alone. Hell, she hadn’t even let him change her flat tire.

Last night was the first time Holly Stanton had accepted any kind of help from him.

And here he was, ready to ruin it. Ready to act on an attraction she didn’t share and didn’t need to deal with right now—and to jeopardize a friendship that was less than twenty-four hours old.

Maybe the connection he felt to Holly was always meant to be a friendship. Maybe his desire for her had gotten in the way of that—even when they were teenagers. Especially when they were teenagers.

Maybe that was why he’d always failed her.

Well, he wasn’t going to fail this time.

Alex sighed and headed downstairs for the living room, deciding to see what Will was up to. With Will, at least things were straightforward. Football. Music. The basics.

Will was literally surrounded with music right now, half of Alex’s CD collection in little piles on the living room floor. “I’m reorganizing them for you,” he explained.

Alex sat on the floor with his back against his over-stuffed sofa.

“We’re going to create categories. Not too many, because then it gets confusing and harder to maintain. Just the biggies. So far I’ve got classic rock, rhythm and blues, punk, metal, modern rock and jazz. We’ll be alphabetizing within the categories, of course. Anything that doesn’t fit we’ll call eclectic and put at the end.”

Alex put his hands behind his head and leaned back comfortably against his couch, thinking about how much he liked kids in general and this kid in particular. “You’re more like your mom than I thought. This is not a compliment, by the way.”

Will grinned at him. “Sure it is. And a little organization won’t kill you. Especially considering all this great raw material,” he added.

“Does Holly like music?” Alex couldn’t help asking.

“Yeah, she does. Actually, my mom’s taste in music isn’t too terrible, considering.”

“Considering her advanced age, you mean?”

“Exactly. It tends more toward the classic rock end, but at least within her limits she has good taste.”

Alex started to get interested. “Like what? Give me some examples.”

Will thought about it. “Well, Bruce Springsteen’s big. ‘Thunder Road’ and ‘Born to Run’ are two of her favorite songs. Then there’s Van Morrison. ‘Moondance’ and ‘Crazy Love.’ Joni Mitchell’s ‘Blue,’ the entire album. Everything Aretha Franklin ever did.”

Alex sat up straighter. “Keep going. What else?”

“How come you’re so interested in my mom’s taste in music?” Will asked.

“Well, I’m interested in your mom. I mean,” he added hastily, “I’m interested in being friends with your mom. Considering we’re going to be under the same roof for a while, it’s probably a good idea for me to learn more about her. And music, important music—the kind you’d bring with you to a desert island—is like a map of a person’s soul.”

Will was still studying him, and Alex felt a little uncomfortable. But after a minute he started talking again.

“She likes a lot of eighties stuff.” Will shook his head. “She has this secret passion for Joan Jett, which she thinks I don’t know about. She has…well, she used to have…a couple of albums by Foreigner, and one by Air Supply.” He shuddered in mock horror at that, but Alex had been distracted by something else. The change in verb tense.

“Wow, kid,” he said slowly. “It’s just starting to hit me. You really lost everything last night. All your books, all your music.”

Will made a wry face. “Yeah. The books don’t bother me much but the music’s pretty hard to take. Although from what I see here, I’ll be able to recreate a lot of my collection by copying yours. A lot of my mom’s favorites are in here, too. She’s a big Rolling Stones fan.”

“No kidding,” Alex said, surprised.

“Why is the floor covered in CDs?” Holly asked. They turned to see her coming down the stairs.

“We’re talking about music,” Will said. “Coach was asking what you like. He says a person’s taste in music is like a map of their soul.”

Holly looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

Alex shrugged. “Okay, so I waxed poetic. Even football coaches are allowed to do that once in a while.”

“Sure,” Holly said skeptically, sitting down in an armchair next to the couch. “Okay, then, what does my musical taste tell you about me? Assuming Will actually knows what my musical taste is.”

“Well,” Alex said, leaning back again. “Some of it, we’ll hope, is not significant. Like Foreigner. But there seems to be a clear pattern in some of the other stuff. Joan Jett, Bruce Springsteen—that’s the rebel touch. Bad girls and bad boys. The Stones even more so. But there’s also passion and intensity, hunger for life. ‘Thunder Road’ and ‘Born to Run’ are about busting out, breaking free.”

Holly frowned. “Hey, I just like those songs. I don’t have a secret urge to rebel.”

Alex ignored her. “Van Morrison and Joni Mitchell are all about love. Love that changes you forever, love that burns you up and heals you at the same time. The kind of love you can’t live without.”

He glanced at Holly and saw surprise in her eyes. She probably didn’t think he was capable of using the word love in a sentence. He grinned at her. “Aretha Franklin, on the other hand, is just a woman with the greatest voice God ever bestowed on a human being. You don’t need any other reasons for Aretha. We’ll just put her down to good taste.”

Will was grinning, too. “No deep psychological analysis?”

“Nope.” He rose to his feet and reached out a hand to help Holly up. “So, who’s ready to go shopping?”

 

At one point during their mall trip they split up, Holly trying on clothes while Will and Alex went to two different music stores. As a surprise for Holly, Alex bought every CD of hers that Will could name. They had a great time, talking about bands and musicians and concerts they had seen and would like to see. And Will had come up with a list of his mom’s all-time favorite songs, or at least as many as he could remember, and Alex had written them all down.

Later that night, after Holly and Will went to bed, he used the list to make Holly a mix CD.

It was a little like being with her, Alex thought as he burned the last song and let it roll over him as he sat back on the couch. The song was Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On,” which was one he’d already had on hand and which happened to be one of his all-time favorites, as well.

He grinned suddenly as he realized he was acting like a lovestruck college student, making a mix tape for his latest crush. Well, at least he’d moved on from high school. He was progressing. By next week maybe he’d be up to his late twenties.

Man, this was a sexy song. Alex closed his eyes and imagined kissing Holly to this song, swaying with her on a dance floor somewhere and feeling every inch of her pressed against him as he tasted her, slow and soft at first and then hard and insistent, bringing out the passion he knew was just under the surface, waiting to be unleashed.

Alex sighed and pressed a cushion to his face. Yeah, he had it bad.

He headed upstairs for bed, pausing as he walked past Holly’s door to lay a palm flat against the wood, thinking of her on the other side, curled up in bed with her red hair fanned out across the pillow.

Then he heard her call out his name.

He froze.

“Alex,” he heard again, distinctly, and there was no question it was Holly’s voice.

Okay, this was weird. Did she know he was out here? How could she? Was something wrong? Did she need him?

Confused, uncertain, Alex turned the knob as softly as he could and slipped inside her room, his eyes adjusting to the darkness and moonlight as he focused on the figure curled up on the bed.

“Holly?” he asked softly, barely above a whisper. “Is everything all right? Do you need something?”

She didn’t answer him. After a moment or two of listening to her deep, even breathing, Alex decided that she was definitely asleep and that his mind had been playing tricks on him. Time to make his getaway before she woke up and punched him again, this time with cause.

He’d put his hand on the door knob when she stirred, stretching languidly.

“Alex,” she said clearly.

She was still asleep. She was lying in full moonlight now and he could see that her eyes were closed. What the—

And then she said it again, softly.

“Alex…”

There was warmth in her voice and a kind of longing.

“Alex,” she said a third time, a sensual whisper that went straight to his groin. She shifted a little in her sleep.

For one unbearable minute Alex just stood there. Then he turned the knob soundlessly and got the hell out, shutting her door softly and firmly behind him and moving swiftly down the hall.

Alex ran a shaking hand across his forehead. This was bad. Oh, man, this was bad. It had been torture enough just imagining what her voice would sound like saying his name like that. Now he knew, and the reality was more intense than his fantasies, and Alex couldn’t think of the last time that had happened.

He’d courted the torture. Hell, he’d sent an engraved invitation. If he hadn’t been standing outside her door like some kind of lovesick puppy dog he never would have heard her. He wasn’tsupposed to have heard her. He’d been listening in to her dreams, and if torture was the result, well, it was his own fault.

Maybe he should be glad that at least he knew, now, that she felt some of what he did. But somehow it made it worse, knowing that her subconscious or unconscious or whatever felt something for him, while her conscious had made it perfectly clear she didn’t even want him to flirt with her.

And now the image of her moving in her sleep, her back arching ever so slightly and her lips parting, was burned into his brain.

But no matter what sleeping Holly thought about him, wide-awake Holly had asked him to keep his distance, in very clear and unambiguous terms. And somehow, someway, he was going to find a way to manage it.

Starting tomorrow, he was going to spend every waking hour focused on football and his players. And if that didn’t work, maybe he could pack himself in ice.

That ought to do it.

 

Holly woke up slowly, feeling a delicious warmth running through her body. She stretched, thoroughly and with pleasure, feeling how delightful it was to move, to use her muscles. She must have gotten a really good night’s sleep, she decided.

Then her dream came flooding back. Alex. She’d dreamed about Alex last night.

She’d fantasized plenty, but she’d never had an honest to goodness dream about him. Or any man. Not like that, anyway. Come to think of it, this was the first sexy dream she’d ever had in her life.

It had been so real. Alex above her, Alex inside her, Alex surrounding her. It had been so real that the sexual languor started to wear off and embarrassment took its place.

Which was ridiculous, of course. She had no control over her dreams. And she was attracted to Alex, even though she had no plans of ever tellinghim that, so it wasn’t all that surprising that he’d pop up in her subconscious now and again.

Holly glanced at the clock. She’d gone to bed early so she’d be able to wake up early, and it had worked. It was six-thirty in the morning; she’d beaten the alarm by half an hour. She could get up, shower, dress, have breakfast with Will and still be at work by eight.

The only problem was, she didn’t want to move. She wanted to lie here with her eyes closed and imagine Alex touching her.

Suddenly disgusted with herself, Holly threw off the covers and slid her legs out to the floor. The weather had turned cooler last night and the floorboards were cold against her bare feet, sending a good bracing shiver through her as she headed for the bathroom. She added a good bracing shower, followed by a careful application of minimal, professional makeup. She picked out the most sober of all the outfits she’d bought yesterday, a dark gray wool pantsuit with a subdued pinstripe of lighter gray. Under it she wore a utilitarian bra and a gray cashmere turtleneck. Add to that her trusty chignon and a pair of low heels and she was ready to face the world.

Her head high and her steps brisk, she headed downstairs to see if Will was up before her. Alex would probably still be asleep, since his day started late and ended late.

Only he wasn’t asleep. He was right there in the kitchen when she came around the corner, and she actually crashed into him before she could stop herself.

He jumped away from her like he’d been shot.

“Holly!” he said, backing up to the other end of the kitchen. She must really have startled him.

And then, just as she’d feared, the sight of him brought back her dream in living color and she felt herself blushing. “Um, is Will up yet?” she asked to cover.

“Yes, he’s—”

“Here I am, Mom. Wow, you’re up early! I told Coach you wouldn’t be awake until twenty minutes before you had to leave for work.”

“Right. Well, I wanted to get an early start. You, too, I see. And you, Alex.”

“I’m on my way out the door now,” he said quickly. “And I’ll be back pretty late tonight. Go ahead and have dinner without me. I’ve got a lot of administrative chores to take care of, and then there’s the Steeltown game to prepare for. I’ll see you at practice, Will.” He started to head for the back door.

“Hey, Coach!” Will called out.

“What?” Alex answered over his shoulder, sounding impatient.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” he asked significantly, indicating his mother.

Alex looked back at her, nonplussed. “Oh. Right.” He paused a moment, frowning, and then backtracked for the living room.

“What’s going on?” Holly asked Will.

“You’ll see,” he said.

Alex came back carrying a gaily if inexpertly wrapped package.

“Here,” he said without much ceremony, plunking it down on the kitchen table in front of Holly. “Something for you that Will and I picked up yesterday.”

Holly had forgotten the present that the two of them had hidden from her. She ripped open the bright paper and gasped when she saw all the CDs that spilled out.

“These are all… How did you…” She got it suddenly and smiled at her son. “You told him what to get.” She turned the smile on Alex. “And you spent way, way too much money on these. I should be mad, but…this really helps,” she said. “I mean, I know we’re not going to recreate everything we had, but this—well, this helps a lot. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Alex said. “I mean it, Holly. You and Will lost so much, and it’s going to take a long time to put it all back together again, but if I can do anything to help, you only have to ask.”

She smiled at him a little crookedly, and he smiled back at her, the warmth she’d begun to rely on lighting up his blue eyes.

“Have dinner without me tonight,” he said again, heading to the back door. “See you later, Will. I hope you have a good day back at work, Holly.”

“Thanks,” she answered, but he was out the door and she didn’t think he’d heard her.

A little odd, but very sweet, was Alex McKenna. If someone had told her seventy-two hours ago that’s how she’d be characterizing him today, she would have laughed at them.

A few minutes later Holly was sliding one of her new CDs into the car stereo and backing out of Alex’s driveway.

She’d picked one at random and it turned out to be Van Morrison, an album she hadn’t listened to in a while. The music tugged at her, and she remembered the conversation yesterday between Alex and Will. About music being a map of your soul.

She braked at a stoplight and her fingers drummed against the steering wheel. She wasn’t sure she wanted anyone running around with a map of her soul. Definitely not Alex.

Just as she was thinking that the light turned green and the next song began. It was “Moondance,” and in the blink of an eye Holly was engulfed in an old memory.

It was prom night, and Brian, now a freshman in college, had come home to be her escort. They were still boyfriend and girlfriend, and Holly was sure she loved him, although he seemed even busier and more ambitious now that he was actually taking the pre-law classes he’d dreamed about.

Still, he had taken the time to come home for her prom. Holly appreciated the gesture even though they didn’t really have a good time. Not a bad time exactly, just not a good time. Neither of them was big on dancing. Brian would never engage in anything so frivolous, and Holly was too shy to dance in public, although she loved to bop around in her room at home.

They decided to leave early. Brian went to say his goodbyes and get their coats, while Holly went to get one more glass of punch.

She was waiting for Brian at the edge of the dance floor, gazing wistfully at all the couples—the band had just started to play Van Morrison’s “Moondance,” which was one of her favorite songs—when someone came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist.

She could tell it wasn’t Brian. There was something a little too…well,physical …in the way those arms felt against her, in the way those hands moved slowly over her hips.

“Want to dance?” a voice said softly in her ear, and Holly twisted around to see Alex McKenna standing there, his face only inches from hers, his blue eyes glinting with mischief and something else.

Holly pulled away sharply, angry at the way her body had responded before she’d known it was him.

She had caught glimpses of Alex all evening, dancing with a dozen different girls—bad girls mostly, including her friend Brenda, but a few good girls, too—all of whom had seemed only too happy to be in his company.

Holly had noticed the contrast between his partners and herself. Her dress had a high collar and big puffy sleeves, and the white satin material made it look a little like a wedding gown. The girls Alex favored tended to wear red or black, cut low in the front or the back or both, with spaghetti straps or no straps at all. Some of them had come here with dates, some alone, but all of them seemed more interested in Alex than any other guy in the room.

Alex had come stag, of course. He wasn’t exactly the boyfriend or prom date type. Truth be told, Holly had been surprised to see him here at all, and in a tux no less.

Of course he didn’t look like any of the other boys, despite being dressed exactly the same. He had none of the stiff, awkward formality that made them look like kids playing dress up. In fact, he looked oddly debonair, with his bleached blond hair looking natural for once instead of spiked up, and wearing his tux easily, comfortably, as if he’d been born in it.

“I know you want to dance,” he said now, his eyes challenging her to deny it. “I’ve been watching you move your hips to the music while stick-in-the-mud Brian lectures about life.”

His eyes were bright as he stepped close to her. “Just one dance, Holly,” he said seductively, his mouth near enough that she got a whiff of his breath.

“You’redrunk, ” she said accusingly, taking a step back.

He grinned at her wickedly. “Maybe a little,” he admitted.

She glared at him suspiciously. “You didn’t spike the punch, did you? Because if you did—”

“You’ll tell on me? Don’t worry, Holly, you don’t need to get your panties in a twist. I didn’t spike the punch.” He reached into a pocket and pulled out a small silver flask. “See? Just for me. You and your boring friends don’t have to worry.”

“My friends arenot boring.”

Alex slipped the flask back in his pocket. “Well, maybe not as boring as your date. Where is the college boy, by the way?”

“He’s getting our coats,” she said stiffly. “We’re going home.”

“Right.” Alex pulled back a little. “Heading out to do the nasty, I suppose,” he said, his voice unconcerned.

“Of course not,” Holly snapped. “God, Alex, why do you always have to be so crude?”

He stared at her. “You’re leaving your prom early and it’s not to have sex?”

“That’s right,” Holly said coldly. “Brian respects me.”

“He respects you,” Alex repeated. He shook his head slowly. “What I’m thinking right now can’t be true. It’s too pathetic even for Brian. But is it possible he’s been dating you for two years and never in all that time made a move?”

Holly glared at him. “Of course he’s made a move. Brian’s a fantastic kisser.” Actually that wasn’t the case, but she’d be damned if she’d let Alex know it.

“A fantastic kisser. Right. I’m not talking about kissing, Holly. Have. You. Had. Sex.”

“Of course not!” Holly said, outraged that he’d asked her that and outraged that she was even standing here having this conversation. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”

Alex took two quick steps and grabbed her by the shoulders, looking at her with unexpected intensity in his blue eyes.

“A girl who deserves to be with a guy who appreciates what he’s got. If you were mine, Holly, I’d seduce you every night of your life. I’d throw you on the back of my bike and take you somewhere private, somewhere I could find out what’s underneath all this.”

His eyes roved downward, and in spite of her high collar and puffy sleeves Holly felt exposed under his gaze, vulnerable. His hands moved to her waist, and she had been so slender back then that his thumbs and fingers had almost met as they circled her. She had never realized how big and powerful his hands were, and yet his touch was unexpectedly gentle.

She had never felt so fragile and feminine. Brian’s hands were much smaller.

His eyes met hers again. They were so blue, so penetrating, and they seemed to see things other people didn’t. Things that no one should see. When he spoke his voice was low, and rough with some quality she couldn’t name.

“Brian doesn’t seem very curious about what’s inside this package, but I am. Why are you with him, Holly? Why do you hide behind all this?” Somehow she guessed he wasn’t just talking about her prom dress.

His hands were still on her waist, but now they moved up her torso, slowly, until his thumbs just brushed the underside of her breasts.

She’d never felt like this before. There was a strange, hollow feeling in all of her bones. She closed her eyes, unable to move, and when Alex spoke again his voice was right by her ear.

“You don’t belong with him,” he whispered.

She was standing on the edge of an abyss. One step and she’d go over.

Her eyes flew open. “Ihate you,” she spat at him, finally finding her voice. She shoved him away from her and looked desperately around for Brian, furious at herself for the melting heat she’d felt at his words, for the goose bumps he’d raised with his touch and most of all for how long it had taken her to push him away.

Alex backed off. “Maybe you hate me, but at least I’malive, ” he said nastily. “Near as I can tell, Brian’s ready for the undertaker. And you? Let’s see, what’s the word I’m looking for? Starts with F and rhymes with rigid—”

Brian finally made his appearance, saving Holly from making a scene at her own prom by punching Alex in the face. She’d grabbed Brian by the arm and stormed away, refusing to look back at Alex and unable to speak until she’d had a few minutes to cool down.

But that hadn’t been the end of that memorable evening. With Alex’s words and Alex’s taunting expression playing over and over in her head, Holly had practically attacked Brian in the front seat of his car.

Abruptly, Holly came back to the present.

Oh, well, at least she could laugh about it now. Sort of. And one good thing had come out of that night. A great thing, actually. Will.

Holly sighed as she pulled into the company parking lot. Alex had always had the ability to get under her skin, whether he was making her furious or making her hot. The night of the prom…yesterday in her bedroom…last night’s dream.

At least she didn’t have to worry about him flirting with her anymore. Ever since she’d asked him to stop doing that with her, he’d gone along with her request. She’d asked for friendship and that’s what she was getting.

And Alex’s friendship was a gift she should be grateful for. He was generous and kind, and he made her laugh, and Will was crazy about him. That was what she wanted. A good, safe friendship. Not the other stuff. The dangerous, pulse-accelerating, nitroglycerin stuff.

Yes, Alex was giving her what she wanted. Trying to not feel depressed at that knowledge and resolving to put Alex firmly out of her mind for the next eight hours, Holly stepped out of her car and prepared to once again take the world of financial planning by storm.




Chapter Seven

Well, it was working. Sort of. Alex supposed he should consider himself lucky that Steeltown was going to present such a challenge Friday night. Preparing for the game kept him from thinking about Holly every five minutes.

Unfortunately, he didn’t feel that lucky. Steeltown was big and mean, and had a reputation for playing dirty. Late hits, personal fouls, all the things no coach liked to think about, especially with a young, light, inexperienced squad.

He worked his kids hard, telling them in no uncertain terms that the team they were about to face, on their turf, was going to be their toughest test yet.

He was proud of them, Alex thought when he’d wrapped things up and sent them to the showers. If guts and hard work could do it, they’d hold their own against Steeltown Friday night.

Now if only he could hold his own against Holly Stanton.

Last night they’d eaten at the mall after their afternoon of shopping. Tonight, Alex stayed resolutely in his office until he figured Will and Holly had finished dinner, trying not to think of how fun it would be to share a meal with them at his big dining room table, the one he hardly ever used since he usually ate off a TV tray in the living room.

It was easy to imagine what it would be like. Mother and son would talk and laugh and include him in all their jokes and affection and warmth. Alex was amazed at how much he wanted that, and then realized he was having a fantasy about Holly that for once had absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Alex sighed and filed the last of his paperwork, grabbing his jacket from the door and turning out the light. He shut and locked his office door and walked along the silent, empty corridor toward the exit.

Sometimes it felt a little strange to be back in this place. It also made the don’t-think-about-Holly project tougher, since his memories of high school were all intertwined with memories of Holly. It was good to be back, too, though. It gave him a chance to redeem himself, to make up for the mistakes he’d made as a teenager by helping other kids avoid them.

As hard as it was to live in the same town as Holly Stanton, Alex knew he belonged here, at least for now. He liked this town and he liked the kids he was coaching. He believed in them. They needed him. Well, they needed someone, anyway, and he’d do until someone better came along.

Alex grinned as he pulled into his driveway. Hell, he even liked his drafty old house. He was almost looking forward to the off-season, when he’d have time to take care of it. By then, maybe Holly and Will would be gone and he could get his sanity back, too.

Alex walked through the front door and knew immediately that something was different. He turned on the light and looked around.

The place wasclean. Someone had vacuumed, and dusted and done something that made the whole place smell fresh and crisp and lemony.

“Alex, is that you?” Holly called out as she came out of the kitchen, wearing jeans and his Pittsburgh Steelers T-shirt. He was going to let her keep it, because to ever wear it himself after it had been on her, drenched in her warmth and her scent, was not going to be possible. She was holding some kind of cleanser in one hand and she looked guilty.

“What did you do?” he asked suspiciously.

She looked guiltier. “I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to do the whole stereotype. You know, waltz into the bachelor’s house and wield domestic tyranny. It’s just I don’t think you’ve dusted since, well, forever, and I didn’t want Will developing asthma or anything. Especially now that I’m counting on him to get a football scholarship, join the NFL and buy me a yacht.”

Alex folded his arms. “I have so dusted.”

She raised an eyebrow. “There are dust bunnies in this house that could do battle with Godzilla.”

“I’ve never seen any dust bunnies,” he said.

“That’s because they were under the couch and behind furniture, places I don’t think you visit very often.”

“Well, there you go. I mean, who cleans under stuff and behind stuff? That’s just a little too anal-retentive for me. I’m a free and easy kind of guy,” he added, a grin breaking through his mock-defensiveness. Truthfully, it was fun to come home to a house that looked and smelled this good, especially when he hadn’t had to do any of the work. Not that he’d mind doing the work if this was how Holly liked things.

“I would’ve done this if you’d asked,” he told her. “You’re a guest. You shouldn’t have to clean.”

“Oh, I didn’t mind. I like to keep busy.” She turned back toward the kitchen. “There’s leftover chicken casserole if you want some,” she said over her shoulder, and Alex followed behind her like a homing pigeon, telling himself it was because he was hungry even though he’d had a huge sandwich at the deli on his way home.

“Mmm, smells good,” he said, looking around in amazement at his now sparkling-clean kitchen. “Wow, Holly. This must have taken hours.”

“Not really,” she said, scooping some casserole onto a plate and handing it to him. “And like I said, I was glad to have something to do. I hardly saw Will at all today. We had dinner together, but he did homework at the table and then went straight upstairs to do more. He’s got a big history test tomorrow. And…”

She hesitated, sitting down at the table. Alex sat down across from her and took a bite of casserole. “Truthfully,” she went on, “I was glad for the distraction. I filled out the insurance paperwork today and it was kind of…depressing.”

He stopped eating. “Holly, I’m sorry. That must have been awful.”

“The paperwork part wasn’t so bad. I even keep a household inventory in a safe deposit box, like the insurance companies tell you to but no one ever does. So the contents form was pretty easy to fill out…except…”

Her eyes filled with tears suddenly, which she did her best to blink back. “Sorry. But there was no place on the form for Will’s baby pictures, or the drawings he brought home from kindergarten, or the Mother’s Day card he made in third grade…or…”

He reached across the table and covered her hand with his.

“Sorry,” she said again, taking a deep breath. “I know the important thing is that Will and I got out safely. It’s just…everything’s gone. The paper chains he made for the Christmas tree when he was seven—” She smiled through her tears. “Every year he begs me not to put them up, but it’s not Christmas without them.” Her smile faded. “The pictures are the worst, though. I have the more recent ones on my computer at work, but not Will’s baby or toddler pictures. The ones I took before I had a digital camera. I always meant to have them scanned…but…”

“That’s rough, Holly. I’m so sorry.” He racked his brain, trying to think of some way to help. He hesitated. “Would your parents have any copies of those? Or…would Brian?”

She blinked in surprise. “To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about that. Of course they might. It couldn’t hurt to ask, right? My parents, anyway,” she amended. “I don’t enjoy talking with Brian at the best of times, and I really don’t feel like dealing with him now. He doesn’t even know about the fire yet, unless Will called him.”

“Holly, why did you—” He stopped suddenly.

Holly waited a moment. “Why did I what?” she asked finally.

Alex shook his head. “It’s not important.” Without realizing it, he’d started to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb. Now he let her hand go as casually as he could. He knew from experience that even when he was touching her to offer comfort, his libido could get carried away.

“Okay, now I’m curious. What were you going to say?”

He shrugged. “It’s just…talking about Brian made me wonder…”

“Wonder what?”

“The same thing I’ve wondered ever since high school,” he admitted. “Why you ever went out with the guy. But you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

She shook her head at him, but she was smiling. “You always told me what a jerk he was.”

“Yeah, and a lot of good that did. So what was the attraction?”

She sighed. “I only figured it out after things were over between us. After my parents kicked me out and I was on my own. Dating Brian was really more about them than me. I’d always worked so hard for their love, their acceptance, and Brian was exactly the kind of boyfriend they always wanted me to have. All form and no substance, just like them.” She spoke a little bitterly, and Alex wished he’d kept his mouth shut.

“Hey, you don’t—”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind you knowing what an idiot I was—especially since you knew already. You told me the truth about Brian from the beginning, and I never listened. All I did was hate you for it.”

His heart contracted. “Holly, I—”

“It’s okay,” she said again, with a crooked smile. “I don’t hate you anymore.”

He couldn’t find anything to say to that.

“By the way,” she was saying now, “I found out something else when I was doing the forms. My insurance policy covers living expenses in the event of a loss. So Will and I could be out of here in a few days if…”

“You want to leave?” He was surprised at how much he hated the idea, even though he’d been thinking just a few hours ago about getting his sanity back once Holly and Will were gone.

She bit her lip. “It’s not that I want to leave. You’ve been so great to Will and me…but we have to be cramping your style a little.”

“What style? I don’t have a style. You’re not cramping anything. And why would you want to stay in a hotel or an apartment? You’ve got a whole house here.”

“Your house,” she reminded him. “And we are cramping your style, or at least your social life. You had a call from someone today. Just before you got home, actually.”

Damn. “Who was it?”

“She said her name was Amber. I let the machine pick up, so you can listen to the message yourself.” Her cheeks turned pink. “I had the impression she wanted to come see you. For an, um, overnight.”

He leaned across the table for emphasis. “Listen to me, Holly. I’m not seeing anyone right now, and I don’t plan to see anyone in the near future. Amber and I broke up more than a year ago. Maybe she was looking for a hookup, but I’m not. Okay? You and Will aren’t cramping my style. And I’d like you to stay here.” He pulled back a little. “If you want to, that is.”

“I want to,” she said. “I mean…if you’re sure….”

Relief flooded through him. “I’m sure.”

A smile spread across her face. “Okay, then, we’ll stay. Until you get tired of us, that is.”

Until he got tired of them? Holly and Will had been here two days, and already he could hardly imagine the house without them.

And Holly even looked beautiful under fluorescent kitchen lights.

She covered a yawn with her hand and rose to her feet. “It’s getting late—I guess I should say good-night.”

She went upstairs to her room and his mind flashed to the memory he’d tried to repress all day—the image of her lying in bed, drenched in moonlight, murmuring his name in her sleep.

He waited until he heard her bedroom door close before he went upstairs himself.

He could tell that the hallway and bathroom had been part of her cleaning spree, but when he opened the door to his bedroom, it was obvious she hadn’t been in there. It felt a little depressing, stale and dusty and unloved.

The way his whole house would feel once she left.

 

It was a cool October evening, perfect football weather, and Holly sat in the stands next to Tom Washington’s parents. She’d thought about Alex a fair amount last night and during work today, but for the last hour and a half she hadn’t thought about him at all, even though he was right below her, clearly visible on the sidelines.

She was too busy thinking about the game.

The score was tied. There were three minutes to go in the fourth quarter, second down and eight with Weston on their own thirty-five yard line. For the twentieth time that night Holly jumped to her feet in outrage. “Did yousee that?” she said to David and Angela Washington, waving her hand toward the field. “How could the ref miss that call? Pass interference! That should be a fifteen-yard penalty and an automatic first down.”

“Not only that,” Angela said, and if looks could kill there was one referee who would have been good and dead. “They roughed the passer, too. Charlie’s still down.”

It was true. A sudden hush fell over the crowd, home fans and visitors alike, as Weston’s trainer trotted out onto the field to look at the Wildcats’ starting quarterback, Charlie Mazillo, who was lying on his side clutching his left leg.

“Oh, no,” David Washington said. “I think it’s his knee.”

Whatever it was, it had obviously ended the game for Charlie. He had to be helped off the field, leaning on his coach and his trainer, to a round of obligatory applause from the stands.

“Thosebullies, ” Holly said furiously. “I can’t believe they’ve been getting away with this kind of crap all night. My God, these are high school kids.”

Angela shook her head. “Yes, but this is Ohio, and we play our football for blood.”

“Alex doesn’t,” Holly said, her voice positive. “He plays to win, but he doesn’t play dirty.”

David sighed. “Alex is rare. He’s a coach who plays the game the right way and can still maintain a winning record. Most of them can’t manage that.”

“And to think I was starting tolike this game. Maybe I had the right idea all along.”

“Hey,” Angela said suddenly, looking down at the sidelines. “Coach is sending Will out there.”

Holly gripped the other woman’s hand in sudden panic. Her baby boy, going out on that field to face that gang of thugs?

Angela patted her on the back. “Don’t worry. Will’s tough, and he’s smart. He can handle it.”

“What do you mean he can handle it? He’s fifteen years old. Charlie’s a senior andhe couldn’t handle it.”

“The referees will call a cleaner game after this. They’ll have to.”

“Oh, sure they will,” Holly muttered, watching Will trot out to the huddle. Even from up here she could tell he was panicking, too. This wasn’t a series or two in a game they already had sewn up. This was three minutes to go in a tie game, a game they’d only kept tied by the incredible play of their starting quarterback, who’d just been injured by a vicious hit from the Steeltown defense.

Will wasn’t ready for this. Holly could read the uncertainty in his posture. It wasn’tfair, she thought wildly. It was too much pressure to put on a fifteen-year-old boy.

Then he handed the ball off to Tom, who ran for twelve yards and a first down, and while David and Angela cheered for their son Holly breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it would be okay. She no longer even cared about winning the game. She just wanted Will to get through this without getting hurt, and without making any huge mistakes that would torture him for the rest of—

She groaned and closed her eyes briefly. Will had just gotten sacked, and although he scrambled to his feet right away, obviously unhurt, she could tell he was rattled. The very next play he was called for intentional grounding, and in a flash of insight she knew he was afraid to pass the ball, afraid to touch the ball, afraid to have the game resting on his shoulders.

Alex called a time-out and Holly wondered what he would say. Will was probably hoping his coach would call another rushing play, and another and another, but then Tom would be the focus of the punishment the Steelers were handing out, and, anyway it wouldn’t work. You had to balance your running attack with your passing attack if you wanted to have success—and that meant you needed a quarterback who believed in himself.

Alex was talking to Will by the sideline. Holly took a deep breath and let it out. She felt calmer suddenly, seeing them together. Alex would say the right things. Will trusted him. Will nodded at whatever his coach was saying, and Alex slapped him on the back. Then all the players came together for the team grip.

“Go Wildcats!” they said with one voice, and then they were running back out on the field.

The opposing teams lined up to face each other. The crowd noise made it impossible to hear but she could see Will behind center, looking right and left as he called the play, crisp confidence in his bearing as he took the snap and backpedaled in the pocket.

And the offensive line held as three wide receivers headed down the field. Will kept his head up, reading the defense, and freezing the safety in the middle of the field with a pump fake. Then he let the ball fly. And watched it sail downfield in a perfect spiral, right into the arms of the intended receiver, who gathered it in gleefully and scampered across the goal line for a touchdown.

They missed the extra point but nobody cared. By the time the Wildcats lined up to kick the ball off, there was still so much pandemonium in the stands that Holly couldn’t hear her own voice as she shouted, pounding David and Angela on the back and arms and any place she could reach, and herself being pounded.

The wind had been knocked out of the Steelers and they couldn’t do a thing with the ball. They turned it over on downs and then the Wildcats just held on grimly, running a series of safe, clock-killing plays until time ran out and the visiting crowd swept out on the field, carrying Holly with them, and she was so proud and happy and there was such joyful madness all around her that she didn’t register that Alex had swept her up into his arms until he was spinning her around fast enough to make her dizzy.

“We did it!” he said, as if hardly able to believe it himself. He let her slide back to the ground but kept his arms around her, smiling down into her eyes, and she was so happy, and Alex was so happy, and her hands were still resting on his shoulders as she looked up at him. All of these things together made it seem perfectly natural to rise up on her toes and give him a quick kiss on the lips.

Later, when Holly was trying to analyze the incident rationally, she told herself that she had just meant it as a brief, friendly kiss, something celebratory stemming out of overflowing emotion and the general joy and craziness that was erupting all around them.

If so, that’s not what it turned into.

Holly started to step back, but Alex’s arms tightened almost convulsively around her waist, pulling her sharply against him. She gasped, and he let her go, but only so he could thrust his fingers into her hair and pull her to him for another kiss, parting her lips ruthlessly with his tongue and plundering her mouth, the taste of him sweeter and fiercer than anything she’d ever known.

In one instant Holly’s entire world was reduced to this man, his hard body like steel against hers, her breasts crushed against his chest, his fingers tangled in her hair and his mouth bruising hers. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer, opening herself to him completely, her tongue meeting his in a glorious, feverish tangle.

The sound of a trumpet blaring in her ear was like a bucket of cold water. Holly jumped and stumbled back a few steps with her hand to her heart.

It was the Weston High marching band, milling around chaotically as they prepared to lead a victory dance to the parking lot, and in the time it took to recover from the shock, Holly was reflecting that they’d probably saved her from seducing their coach in the middle of a football field surrounded by teenagers, their parents and several newspaper reporters.

Wouldn’t that have made a nice front page photo for theWeston Herald.

Holly took a breath and looked around. In the general pandemonium it didn’t look as if anyone had even noticed their little interlude, which couldn’t have lasted more than ten seconds, and Will, thank goodness, was nowhere in sight.

She couldn’t look at Alex. She put a hand up to her mouth, which she knew was swollen with the most incredible kiss she’d ever experienced, and wondered if she could possibly get away with just, you know, walking away as if nothing had—

“Holly,” Alex said, grabbing her arm, and she risked a look at him. Whatever expression she’d expected to see on his face, it wasn’t this. He looked worried. Not blasted with lust like her, or even just dazed by the suddenness of it all, but simply worried.

“Please don’t be mad,” he said, his voice sounding concerned, and all Holly could do was blink at him. “I didn’t mean—it was just—” He floundered around for a while longer before Holly finally found her voice.

“The heat of the moment,” she said, thinking that made as much sense as anything else. Whatever it had been, it obviously wasn’t going to happen again, if Alex’s current effort to backtrack was any indication, so the only thing to do was put this behind them with as little embarrassment and disruption to their friendship as possible.

“Right,” he said, sounding relieved, and Holly felt a wave of depression. How could he be so relieved that they’d never be doing that again? Was she really that bad a kisser?

It wasn’t her fault, she thought defensively. It wasn’t as if she’d had a ton of practice. Not like he’d obviously had. God, the way that man could kiss… Holly’s eyes fluttered closed at the memory and she had to bite her lip to keep from making a sound she was very much afraid would have been a moan.

“I’ve got to find Will,” she said, clinging to something familiar.

“Will. Right. He was incredible tonight, Holly. A natural. It took real courage to do what he did tonight.”

Courage. Something she knew nothing about, or she’d be throwing her arms around Alex instead of standing here like a half-wit. So what if she was a bad kisser. She could ask him to teach her, couldn’t she?

Except that Alex didn’t look like a man interested in teaching her anything. He looked more like a man embarrassed by a momentary indiscretion, precipitated by something she’d initiated, however innocently.

She had kissed him first, after all. Alex’s response had probably been automatic for him, like his flirting. A woman kisses you and you respond. Like Pavlov’s dogs.

She thought about all the girls he’d dated in high school, about the call from Amber, about what Rich Brennan had called “the Alex McKenna revolving door.” She didn’t want to be one of those women, with him for a few casual months and then gone. She wasn’t wired that way. And Alex wasn’t wired any other way.

“I’ve got to find Will,” she said again, speaking carefully, like a drunk doing her best not to slur her words. She patted Alex on the arm, wanting to convey somehow that it was all right, that he didn’t need to be embarrassed, that she understood. He looked unhappy, which was nice of him. In his own way he was a gentleman. He would have taken back the kiss if he could.

Which was the difference between them. Because even though she was embarrassed, too, even though what she was feeling now terrified her, Holly was glad it had happened. At least now she could say she’d had one great kiss in her lifetime. Every woman should be able to say that.

Even if it had only been great for her.

 

She had been there with him, Alex told himself over and over that night as he lay awake. The post-game celebration had seemed to go on for hours, but Alex had barely noticed it through the pain and confusion he was feeling now.

She’d been there with him. He was sure of it. The way she had leaned into his kiss… He’d never been turned on so hard and so fast in his life. She was so fiery, so passionate. If only she could let herself go….

But she couldn’t. You’d think he’d know that by now. Holly had always shied away from expressing her passion, the passion Alex had always seen in her, the passion she was so careful to hide from the world.

It made sense, really. Holly was a person who needed to feel in control, and passion was about giving up control. She would never take kindly to a feeling that took her over, that swept her away, that put someone or something else in the driver’s seat—even if it was only for a little while. Holly might be a smoldering flame but she would never, never let it show except in flashes. Once when she was drunk. Once when her house burned down. And once when her son had just won one of the most dramatic football games Alex had ever coached.

He’d come home to find the two of them there before him, Will still pumped up with adrenaline and excitement, telling his mom for what was probably the hundredth time how calm he had felt taking that snap, how he’d known, justknown, he’d be able to complete the pass, how he hadn’t let fear stop him. He’d seen Alex come in and jumped to his feet, the happiness bubbling out of him until Alex couldn’t help but smile in response, in spite of the anxious look he shot at Holly.

“It really was an amazing game,” she said, meeting his eyes with what looked like complete self-possesion. So much for his hope that she might still be affected by the mind-blowing kiss they’d shared. “So amazing that a person could possibly get carried away by all the emotion.” She gave him a rueful look, her lips forming a silent “sorry” behind Will’s back.

Alex gave her the universal forget-about-it gesture, a quick wave of the hand, and that was that.

The three of them spent the next two hours together talking and laughing, with Will doing most of each but Holly and Alex contributing more toward the end of the evening. The two adults were a little uncomfortable at first but slowly grew used to each other again until, finally, things felt almost back to normal.

Normal.

Alex sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. Oh, he supposed it was better this way. It was what Holly wanted. Just because he wanted something different didn’t mean it was going to happen. In fact, it was pretty clear now it was never going to happen. A woman who could walk away from a kiss like that was not a woman he’d be able to talk into anything, especially if it went against her better judgment.

And her judgment was probably right. He was more attracted to her than he’d ever been to any woman, but that wouldn’t be—shouldn’t be—enough for Holly. She was a woman who deserved forever, and he didn’t do forever. The most he’d ever offered a woman was a few months of fun.

Holly deserved more than that. She deserved everything a man had to offer, including his heart. And that was something Alex had never offered to anyone.

So it was all for the best, right? They were both cowards when it came to love.

Not that this was about love, of course.

There was heat between them, even if Holly refused to face it, but there wasn’t love. Friendship, yes. Respect and affection, yes. A deep connection, yes—for him, anyway. And a long-standing crush that he had, apparently, never gotten over.

But love was about forever. And when it came to Holly, it was about Will, too. What in his track record would give anyone, including him, the idea that he was ready for love and commitment with a single mother and her teenage son?

No. Holly had been right to run from their kiss, even if she’d run out of fear. Alex had never believed in listening to fear, but when it came to his feelings for Holly, he was prepared to make an exception.

 

Saturday morning was Pancake Day, Will and Holly informed him when he came downstairs at ten o’clock. By the looks of things they’d already done some damage pancake-wise, and Holly was at the stove flipping three more. She grinned at him, wearing jeans and his Bengals jersey. Her hair was in a loose braid down her back.

“What did you do, raid my T-shirt drawer?”

She looked down. “Oh, right. Sorry. This is one of the shirts you brought me that first night. They’re so comfortable, and when I went shopping last week I sort of concentrated on work clothes and didn’t really get anything casual. Is it all right if I borrow it a little longer? This one and the Pittsburgh one? Just until I can get a few of my own.”

He waved it away. He was getting pretty good at that.Don’t worry, it’s as if it never happened, what’s a little toe-curling kiss among friends?

“No problem,” he said out loud. “Comfort is important.” He cleared his throat. “So what are you two doing today? Anything exciting planned?”

“I’m going to teach my mom to throw a football.”

Alex gave Holly a skeptical look as he dug into the huge pile of pancakes she put in front of him, which were, predictably, delicious. “Are you telling me you actuallywant to learn to throw a football?”

Holly grinned. “I wouldn’t say I’m brimming over with excitement, but in case you hadn’t noticed it’s a gorgeous fall day out there and running around in your enormous backyard has its appeal. I’m going to the gym later, too. I haven’t been since the fire, which is a mistake. Missing workouts always makes me cranky. My job is good for intellectual stimulation but not physical stimulation. I need both.”

Alex tried not to think of the physical stimulation he’d like to give Holly. He was turning into one of those guys who had a sexual thought every seven seconds and couldn’t say two words without one of them sounding like an innuendo.

He sighed. “I have about an acre of leaves to rake. I’ll keep you company.”

Will looked delighted. “That’s great! We’ll help you rake after we throw some passes. That’s good exercise, too, right, Mom?”

“Fine with me. I like creating order out of chaos, as you know. Raking is a very satisfying job. You start with a yard full of messy leaves and end up with tidy piles. Just my kind of thing.”

 

Holly was right: it was a gorgeous day. Blue, blue sky, and maple trees all around with leaves like flames. The colors looked as if they’d been drawn by a child: bright gold, brilliant red, burnt orange. The neighbors next door were burning leaves and the sharp, acrid scent drifted on the wind, mixing with the cold clean smell of the air and the dry sweet smell of the leaves everywhere, on the trees, underfoot, fluttering down onto their shoulders.

Holly was looking autumnal herself, with her copper-colored hair and the brown sweater she’d put on.

The raking was forgotten as the three of them ran around like little kids, occasionally tossing the football back and forth but mostly just running, spinning, taking in huge cleansing breaths of the autumn air.

After a half an hour of that Will decided it was time to get serious. “Okay, Mom, Alex will show you how to throw a spiral pass and I’ll be your receiver. Your hands are kind of small but I know you can do it.” He took off at a trot, stopping at a distance Holly thought was well beyond the point she might hope to heave a football.

The sunlight was brilliant and Holly squinted across the yard at her son. “He’s delusional,” she said as Alex handed her the football.

“He just has faith in you. You should be flattered. Now grip the ball with your fingers on the laces and plant that back foot like we talked about. Cock your arm back and—no, not like that.”

“What do you mean, not like that? What am I doing wrong?”

He should just show her, like he would one of his players. Of course that would involve touching her, which would be bad. Or good. Or—oh, what the hell. He came up behind her and adjusted her arm position. “Like that, see? Much better. Now turn your upper body. Keep your eyes downfield. Good!”

Alex let himself enjoy the contact for just a moment before he took a step back. “Okay, now, let it fly. Concentrate on your mechanics.” He watched critically as she made her first attempt. “All right, kid! Not bad!” He reached up for a high five and she slapped his hand in triumph as her pass made it close to where Will was, so that by running forward he could catch it easily.

“Hey, this is fun!” she said incredulously, smiling radiantly at Alex.

“You’re adorable,” he said before he could stop himself, and she blushed, but he hadn’t messed anything up because she was still grinning over her success when Will trotted back to them. The next few hours passed in a happy blur of running, passing and kicking, until the three of them threw themselves down under a maple tree to rest, staring up at the patterns of branches and flaming leaves against the azure sky.

“I feel so happy right now,” Will said after several minutes of companionable silence. “It almost hurts in my chest, I’m so happy. Has that ever happened to you?”

Holly laughed. “Once or twice in my long life. How about you, Alex?”

“Once or twice.” He fell silent, looking up at the leaves fluttering in the breeze, the restful quiet all around punctuated by bird calls, sharp and sweet. “I’m on Will’s side about today,” he said after a few minutes. “This is pretty perfect.”

“Can we stay here forever?” Will asked.

Yes,Alex wanted to say.

“Well, not forever,” Holly said, and when Alex turned his head he saw her scrambling to her feet, brushing leaves off her jeans. She wasn’t looking at him. “In fact, I should get to the gym if I want to work out today.”

She smiled goodbye and walked back toward the house, leaving Will and Alex in the exact same positions they’d been in, under the exact same tree and the exact same sky, except that some of the golden sparkle seemed to have gone out of the afternoon.




Chapter Eight

On Tuesday, Will came to a decision.

He couldn’t figure out why his mom and Alex were taking so long to get together, until it occurred to him thathe might be a factor. After all, they were all living here, and his mom could be kind of old-fashioned. Chances were, she wouldn’t feel comfortable letting anything happen with Alex while he was around.

Well, okay. He could fix that.

Tom mentioned that he and his dad were going on a fishing trip over the weekend, and Will asked if he could go along.

He decided to announce his plans Friday morning, so his mom wouldn’t have any time to adjust or come up with a counter plan. Not only was she old-fashioned, but when it came to anything emotional—her own emotions, anyway—she wasn’t exactly brave. He didn’t want her to find a way to duck out of a weekend alone with Alex.

In the meantime, the days were falling into a familiar pattern: school, football and dinners at home.

The dinners were fun. So fun, in fact, that Will started to wonder if maybe his mom and his coach had the right idea. Maybe friendship was the way to go, after all.

Then he caught Alex looking at his mom one night when the three of them were watching a football film.

“I like this,” Holly said suddenly, causing Alex to jump guiltily.

“What?” he asked, trying to sound as if he hadn’t been staring at her for the last ten minutes.

“Football,” she said, her eyes on the screen. “It’s like financial planning. Lots of strategy and taking the long view, but also reacting to what’s happening in the present moment. Making a game plan and sticking to the broader goals you want to achieve, but being willing to explore different ways to achieve them if what you’re doing isn’t working.”

Alex looked surprised. “That’s exactly how I look at football. At least the game-planning part.” He paused for a moment. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you’ve been such a good sport about all this football stuff I feel like it’s only fair to show a little interest in what you do. Tell me about financial planning. If anyone could make it sound interesting, you could.”

Holly turned to look at him, and there was a glint in her eye that Will recognized.

“What?” Alex asked warily.

“That pit of chaos you call an office. You’ll notice I haven’t so much as crossed the threshold on one of my ‘cleaning sprees’ as you call them. I’ve stuck to the common areas and respected your right to live like a college student in your bedroom and your office.”

“And I appreciate it,” he said even more warily.

“Well, no more,” she said. “At least, I guess you can still have your bedroom, but we’re going to organize that office until it resembles a human habitat and then, my friend, we’re going to balance your checkbook, examine the state of your finances, discuss your long-term goals and risk tolerance, and come up with a personalized financial strategy for you. No, don’t thank me. It’s the least I can do after you gave me and Will a place to stay. Really, it’s my pleasure.”

She was grinning, and Will knew his coach was sunk. Apparently he knew it, too.

“How long will it take?” Alex asked, resigned.

“Hours and hours,” she said cheerfully. “Days probably. There’s no game this week, right? So you’re not as busy as usual. We’ll get started tonight.”

As Alex reluctantly followed a determined Holly out of the room, Will shook his head. Financial planning. How many more ways could they come up with to avoid dealing with what was right in front of them? He was starting to wonder if even leaving them alone together this weekend would do the trick. Oh, well, all he could do was hope for the best.

Why did adults always make everything so complicated?

 

On Friday morning, Holly got up early to make breakfast. She’d been doing that all week, telling herself it was because she wanted to be the one sending her son off to school with a nice hot meal inside him instead of the other way around. In truth, it was also because she liked seeing Alex before they went to work. After all, eventually she and Will would be moving out, however settled they seemed to be here. Her meetings yesterday with an architect and a firm of contractors was a reminder that their stay here was temporary. Holly intended to soak up as much Alex as she could before then.

Five minutes after her son came downstairs, that suddenly seemed like a bad idea.

“I’m going away this weekend,” Will said casually, as if it was nothing, as if he wasn’t about to remove her best defense against the feelings she still entertained for Alex, late at night in the privacy of her bedroom. The feelings she couldn’t possibly act on because of the fifteen-year-old down the hall.

“What do you mean you’re going away?” she demanded. “You can’t tell me this on Friday morning.” She glared at Alex. “Do you know anything about this?” He shook his head, clearly as taken aback as she was, and she turned back to her son. “Kindly explain to me exactly where you think you’re going.”

Will took a bite of oatmeal. “Tom and his dad asked me yesterday. I forgot to mention it till now. You can call Mr. Washington if you want, to clear it. We’re going camping. We’re leaving right after school.”

“Tonight? You’re going to be gone tonight?” Holly felt panic rising and briefly considered asking if she could go along.

“Tonight and tomorrow night. We’ll be back Sunday afternoon.” He picked up a cinnamon roll, his expression cheerful.

Holly cleared her throat. “You know, I haven’t been camping since I was a little girl. Do you think Tom’s dad would—”

“Nope. Sorry. It’s kind of a guy thing. Also the tent’s only big enough for three. Besides, you guys have all that financial planning to do. And it’s supposed to rain. You’d be miserable out there.”

“Why won’tyou be miserable?” Holly asked, knowing she was beaten but still clinging to a straw.

Will grinned. “We’re planning to do a lot of fishing. Fish bite great when it’s raining. I’m all packed and everything, Mom. I can bring my duffel bag on the bus so you don’t need to worry about a thing.” He got to his feet and gave a jaunty wave. “Have a great weekend, you two. See you Sunday.”

And before she could think of anything else to say, he was gone.

The silence felt a little awkward. Holly was sitting at the kitchen table, frowning down at her cinnamon roll, and wondering what Alex was thinking. Probably he didn’t care much. Why should he? They were friends.

“Will’s right,” she said brightly, forcing herself to meet Alex’s eyes with a cheerful smile. “A rainy weekend will be the perfect chance to concentrate on your finances.”

The smile wavered a little at Alex’s expression. He was leaning back in his chair, his head cocked to one side, his blue eyes speculative.

“Okay, it’s time for me to get going,” she added, her mind working quickly. Dinner tonight might not be a great idea. “I’m meeting some friends after work, so go ahead and have dinner without me. I’ll be home late. I probably won’t see you till tomorrow morning. We can start talking about your investment portfolio then.”

Alex frowned. “I don’t have an investment portfolio.”

“Not yet, you don’t. That’s all about to change.”

Alex shook his head at her and she grinned at him, delighted that things seemed to be back to normal. See? She didn’t need Will around to keep her from making a pass at Alex. She could rely on her maturity and good judgment.

She held on to that thought all day at work, and later during dinner at her desk with a paperback for company, and still later as she drove home. By the time she pulled into Alex’s driveway, she was actually starting to believe it.

Holly turned off her engine and sat in the warmth of her car for a few minutes, listening to the rain drum against the windows. It sure was coming down. She hoped that Will and Tom and David were warm and dry in their tent.

Of course she’d left too quickly this morning to stop and think about grabbing a raincoat or umbrella. It had been all right earlier, when it was just starting to drizzle, but now it was pouring, Alex’s driveway wasn’t all that close to his front door, and she was going to get drenched.

She sighed. At least if she came into the house wet and cold, she’d have an excuse to go straight up to her room if Alex happened to be downstairs.

Holly took a breath, ducked her head and opened the door. A blast of rain hit her and she ran for the house. She’d almost made it when something tripped her up and she went down, sprawling, in the flower bed beside the front walkway.

“Great,” she muttered, preparing to get muddily to her feet, when a soft, sad bark halted her movement.

Her own woebegone state forgotten, Holly peered around to see where the sound had come from.

A pair of big, sad dog eyes looked at her from underneath the porch.

“Come on out of there, sweetheart,” she coaxed, kneeling down despite the pelting rain and the further damage to her beige wool pantsuit.

Another soft bark. It was a young dog, maybe a puppy.

“Come on out, baby. We’ve got raccoons under there who’d eat a little pup like you for breakfast. Come out and we’ll—”

“Who are you talking to? And why are you crawling around in the mud?”

It was Alex, standing on the front porch.

“I heard a dog barking,” she said defensively, raising her voice to be heard over the wind and the rain. “He’s under the porch. I’m just trying to get him out so we can take him inside.”

“And we want to take him inside because…?”

“He’ll be the first animal we take on board when we build our ark,” she said, glaring at him. “Why do you think? It’s storming out here, in case you hadn’t noticed. No one should be out on a night like this, especially not a puppy. He’s lost and he sounds scared. Show some compassion.”

Alex sighed in resignation. “Food will probably lure him out. I’ll go get something.”

While Alex was gone Holly spoke softly to the dog, getting him used to the sound of her voice. Then Alex was there, crouching down beside her in the rain, holding out some leftover chicken and talking almost as gently as she was.

“It’s okay, buddy. You lucked out. This woman is a sucker for a sob story. We’ll fill your tummy with leftovers if you come on inside with us.”

Slowly, the owner of the eyes emerged, revealing what appeared to be a Labrador puppy, all black, shivering with the cold and wet and eyeing Alex hopefully.

“Food inside,” he said, standing up and backing away toward the house. When the puppy came forward, tail wagging, Holly gathered him into her arms and followed Alex up the stairs.

“There,” she said triumphantly as Alex closed the door behind them. “See how easy that was?”

“Sure,” he said as he dripped on the hall floor. He shook his head, but he was smiling at her and the dog she held tightly against her chest. “I’ll go get some towels. Try to keep our new friend in this general area, will you? And check to see if he’s wearing a collar.”

He was.

“It says Johnny Peterson, 43 Linden Rd,” Holly told him a few minutes later as they were toweling off the puppy and themselves. Johnny seemed to appreciate the attention, as well as the big bowl of chicken scraps Alex put down in front of him. “That’s the lady next door, right? The nice one who lent me the jeans.”

“Yep. Her name’s Anna. I’ll give her a call.” He looked at her. “Why are you always in my house looking like a disaster victim? Maybe you should go change into something a little less muddy.”

Holly made a face at him but followed his suggestion, running upstairs to put on jeans and a sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers. When she came back down Alex was wrestling with Johnny in the hall.

“She’s home, she’s frantic, she’s been looking everywhere, she can’t thank us enough. I’m going to drive over there right now.”

“I’d like to come, too.”

“But you’re actually clean and dry now. Why don’t you stay here? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Holly shook her head. “I like Johnny. And who’s going to snuggle him while you drive? I’m coming.”

“He could probably last two minutes in the car without dying of snuggle deprivation,” Alex said, but he handed her a raincoat and the two of them headed out the door, with Johnny a warm, happy, wriggling bundle in Holly’s arms.

Anna really couldn’t thank them enough. She was in her fifties, the last of an old Scandinavian farming family, and Holly was so charmed by her she might have stayed an hour if Alex hadn’t stood up to go. “We should probably head back so we can change into dry clothes,” he said, and Anna instantly agreed.

“Of course, of course. You’ll have to come for dinner some night this week. Homemade chicken pot pie.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Holly said. She got down on one knee to say goodbye to Johnny, who covered her face in enthusiastic dog kisses until she was laughing so hard she fell over backward.

“Holly may ask for visitation rights,” he told Anna. “I think she’s attached to your dog.”

“Well, Johnny seems attached to her,” Anna said, smiling up at him. “She seems like an easy person to get attached to.”

Alex reached out a hand to help Holly to her feet. “She has her moments,” he admitted.

The rain was coming down in sheets as the two of them ran from Anna’s front door to Alex’s car. The wind was starting to pick up, too. In the five seconds it took to make it into the front seat, they were soaked.

It was even worse when they pulled into Alex’s driveway. As soon as Holly stepped out of the car the wind snatched her hood and blew it back off her head, exposing her to the full fury of the storm.

Holly laughed out loud, suddenly exhilarated. She held out her arms and spun around, almost dancing, her face turned up to the sky and her eyes squeezed shut. She was one with the storm, with the rain, with the wind. It was glorious.

 

Alex made it to the porch and turned to see what had become of Holly. She was standing out there in the storm, looking up into the wild black sky with her arms outstretched, laughing as the rain lashed against her. With her long red hair streaming out behind her and every inch of her soaked, she looked like a water witch out of some seafaring folktale.

“Hey there, crazy lady, get the heck inside!” Alex shouted over the rising wind and thundering rain. She flashed a grin at him and ran for the door he was holding open. The two of them practically fell into the front hallway, panting and dripping and shivering, and Alex slammed the door shut behind them.

He flicked on the light switch, and the old-fashioned chandelier shed its dim, crystalline light over Holly, her face glowing from the wet and the cold. She stood there breathing hard and deeply, her green eyes enormous and filled with laughter. She let her dripping raincoat slide to the floor and shook her head like a dog shedding water, giggling when Alex got a spray of droplets in his face.

She was so beautiful. In his whole life he’d never seen anything to equal her. She was like that woman in the story, the one with the seven veils. Just when you thought you’d seen every side of her, you realized you hadn’t even begun.

She was twisting her hair now to wring out the rain-water, and she looked like a mermaid. Alex was the sailor watching her, knowing he could never have her, knowing she lived in a world he would never be allowed to enter.

Except she wasn’t some unattainable nymph out of a fairy tale. She was flesh and blood, and he wanted her. Everything in him was distilled into that wanting, the desire to make love to her until she forgot everything but the fire that burned between them.

He took two quick strides until he was close enough to touch her, and Holly looked up in surprise.

 

Alex was beside her so suddenly Holly was startled, and then the expression on his face froze her where she stood. Her heart began to pound. When he began to walk forward, slowly and deliberately, she found herself backing up until she was pressed up against the inside of the front door.

The electricity between them seemed to crackle in the air, an echo of the storm outside.

“How do you do that?” he asked her, his voice low.

“Do what? What are you talking about?” Holly’s eyes were wide as she stared at him, knowing now, when it was too late, that she’d been a fool to think she could bury her attraction to this man.

“This,” he said, looking at her, at the water that clung to her hair, her lips, her lashes. “You play it safe and I go along with it, because I think that’s what you want, and then you dance out in that storm like…” He paused, searching for the words he wanted. “There’s something elemental about you, Holly. It’s hidden most of the time, but it’s there. You let it out once in a while, and then you cover it right back up. Something primal. Untamed.”

Holly didn’t like the sound of that. “I like to think of myself as very tame,” she objected, trying for a light tone. “Polished and refined.”

Alex shook his head. “I know you do. That’s what’s so funny. You wear these conservative outfits and you think you’re fooling everyone. Even yourself. Hell, it probably works most of the time. But I’ve never been fooled. Even back in high school I wasn’t fooled, and I still let you lie to me and to yourself, over and over again, and never did a damn thing about it.”

It was getting harder to breathe. Desire was making her tremble, and if she didn’t get away right now, Alex would know.

“I think I’ll go and—” she started to say, taking a step sideways, but in a flash Alex’s arms had trapped her, his hands flat against the door.

“Not until we finish this conversation,” he said.

“What conversation? This isn’t a conversation. This is—”

“This is me finally telling you the truth and you finally listening.”

His blue eyes had never been more intense as they bored into hers, unyielding in their challenge. The planes of his face looked harsh and dangerous and his rain-soaked hair made him seem… What was the word he’d used before?

Elemental.

“Stop it,” she whispered.

“Make me,” he said roughly. “You know you can if you want to. Push me away. Better yet, just tell me you’re not attracted to me. If you can do that, I’ll walk away.” He pulled back a little. “Can you do that?”

She could. She had to. Because if she gave in to these feelings, her life would never be the same again.

She opened her mouth to say the words, but nothing came out.

He pushed away from the door, backing off a few paces, but his eyes never left hers.

“You can’t do it. But you can’t reach out for what you want, either.” He took a step back toward her. “You’re scared. And you’re letting fear make your decisions for you.”

Another step. “I’ve been scared, too. I’ve been scared since the night we kissed. But I’m damned if I’m going to let either of us run away again. Not without a fight, anyway. So go ahead, Holly. Give me all you’ve got. All the reasons why we can’t do this.”

One more step, and he was so close she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see anything but him. He leaned in until his mouth was at her ear, and when he spoke his breath sent shivers down her spine.

“Come on, Holly. I’m sure you can think of just one reason.”

At last she found her voice. “Stop it, Alex! I can’t think when you’re…when you’re like this. You’re too close. It’s not a fair fight!” Even as she said the words she heard their absurdity, but Alex just smiled grimly.

“A fair fight is exactly what it is. What we’ve always had. We’ve been fighting each other from the moment we met, and you’d think we’d have figured out by now that neither one of us is going to win. Why the hell can’t you see that? What are you so afraid of?”

There was something in his eyes Holly recognized. He was daring her, damn him, just like he’d done back in high school.

He shook his head. “I guess you really are too much of a coward to go after what you want.”

He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was different, calmer and somehow more dangerous. “Unless it’s in your dreams, right, Holly? Because you do dream about me. I heard you last week, through your door. I went in and you were asleep, calling out my name again and again. And from the tone of your voice, I’d say whatever was happening in that dream, you were enjoying it.”

Holly was so furious and so embarrassed that she finally found the strength to push past him, turning so he was between her and the door and she could face him with a little breathing room.

“How could you do something like that?” she spat out, her cheeks burning. “Come into my bedroom, listen to me talking in my sleep. How could you invade my privacy like that?”

Alex didn’t give any ground. “Why not?” he asked. “You’ve invaded mine. You’ve invaded every part of me. Every nerve, every cell in my body. You think I don’t dream aboutyou? ”

He walked toward her again, but this time Holly didn’t back up. She knew this was her last stand. She held her head high, jaw clenched and nostrils flaring, and her eyes flashed as they met his.

“I want you, Holly,” he said, and for the first time she saw the yearning behind his passion. “I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life. And you want me. But the only time you let us be together is when you’re alone in your bed at night. Do you think about me then? What it would be like if I put my hands on you the way I want to?”

And suddenly Holly realized something.

He hadn’t put his hands on her. Not tonight. He was battering at her defenses, but he hadn’t used the one weapon she couldn’t have resisted. If he’d grabbed her and kissed her like he had after Will’s game, she would have surrendered without a fight. She would have been his for the taking.

But he didn’t want that. He didn’t want to take.

Holly closed her eyes. She felt something surging through her, an electricity so bright and fierce it made everything else fall away.

Alex was still talking, but she didn’t care. She’d thought of one sure way to shut him up.

 

Alex never finished his last sentence. Holly put her hands on his chest and pushed, and he was so surprised he lost his balance, stumbling backward until he crashed up against the front door. Before he could recover she was there, against him, and then her mouth was pressed to his, fierce and desperate and clumsy.

For a second Alex was stunned into immobility. Then he was kissing her back, and he was so crazy for her and so terrified she would change her mind that he lifted her up and spun them so their positions were reversed, trapping her between the door and his body, shuddering when she wrapped her legs around his waist, and never for one second taking his mouth away from hers.

She tasted like rain, like heat, like Holly. His hunger was making him savage, his mouth crushing hers, but she was kissing him back just as fiercely. If the door hadn’t been there to hold them up Alex would have fallen to his knees.

She was so raw, so passionate, this woman he’d dreamed about for so long and never, never thought he’d have. Now he was tasting her, feeling her, the heat between them so intense it seemed to burn through the layers of wet denim that separated them.

He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to her throat, right at her pulse point. She gasped and let her head fall back, her fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough to bruise.

He had to be inside her. Now. But they couldn’t go upstairs to one of the beds. Alex was afraid to take the time, afraid she’d slip away from him somehow, change her mind, push him away. He’d wanted her for so long and now she was his, for as long as he could hold her—and he wasn’t going to let her go.

He lowered them to the floor right where they were, pulling away only long enough to tug off his still-damp sweatshirt.

Then he turned back to her. His heart was pounding so hard the rush of blood in his ears drowned out the storm outside. With shaking hands he pulled her wet top over her torso and arms until she was free, and the only thing in his way was her cotton bra.

They reached for the front clasp at the same time. Their hands bumped, and their mutual clumsiness made them laugh in surprise. “Let me,” Alex whispered, his eyes on hers, and somehow he managed to unhook the tiny piece of metal so the thin barrier fell away, and then his hands were cupped around her perfect breasts, her nipples pebbled against his palms.

Holly gasped, arching her back, and Alex lowered his head. He grazed his teeth across one nipple and flicked the other back and forth with his thumb until Holly writhed against him, her hands fisting in his hair as she moaned his name.

That sound broke the last of his restraint.

But before he could move to take off her wet jeans Holly had unzipped them herself and was working them down her legs, her teeth sunk in her lower lip as she concentrated. Alex had to tear his eyes away in order to focus on his own clothes, losing pants and shoes and boxers in one damp heap. Then he remembered his wallet. He reached for his jeans again to grab it out of the back pocket, and thanked every deity he could when he found the condom inside.

In a second he was sheathed and could turn back to Holly.

He could hardly believe how beautiful she was. She was naked, stretched out on his hallway floor gazing up at him with her lips parted, her red hair curling damply around her bare shoulders and a flush of heat staining her cheeks. She reached for him, getting her hands on his shoulders and tugging him down to her, and when he hesitated just a moment, fighting for control so he wouldn’t come before he even touched her, she arched up into him.

“Please, Alex,” she said raggedly, her green eyes enormous. “Don’t tease me. I need you…need you inside me.”

Her words were fuel to a fire. Alex liked foreplay, the kind that went on for hours, but right now he’d be lucky if he lasted two minutes. And besides, he told himself as he positioned himself at her entrance, he and Holly had already had about eighteen years of foreplay. He wasn’t going to wait one more second.

He thrust inside her, hard and deep, and the shock reverberated through both their bodies.

He went still. No woman had ever felt like this. He stared down at her, every muscle in his body taut, and saw she was frozen like he was, her eyes wide with the astonished awe he knew was mirrored in his own.

Then she was moving against him, her fingernails raking down his chest as she moaned. Her hips arched up against his and he couldn’t stop himself from rocking into her again.

Alex’s jaw clenched as he tried to go slow, knowing he didn’t have long. But Holly was gripping his arms, her legs wrapped around him, and she was gasping, “Not slow—Alex, please—” And then he was driving into her with all the passion of repressed desire, his rhythm hard and fierce and brutally possessive, and Holly was biting her lips to keep from screaming.

Her eyes flew open and she stared at him, panting, and he saw the very moment she fell over the edge, her body jerking beneath him and her head arching back, and then she did scream, calling out his name, and the sound pulled him over the cliff with her as he came, harder than he thought possible, collapsing on top of Holly as he fought for breath and the world shattered around him.

It took a long, long time to come back to earth. As soon as he could move again Alex rolled over onto his side so he wouldn’t crush the woman lying spent and lovely beneath him, drawing her close and wrapping her up tight, as if he intended to hold on to her forever.

 

It was an endless time before Holly could move again. It might have been hours. It seemed to take at least that long for her heart rate to slow and her breathing to return to some semblance of normal. Cradled against Alex’s chest she could hear his heartbeat better than her own, as it slowed gradually to a strong, regular rhythm.

She kept her eyes shut, not wanting this moment to end, until the contrast between the warmth of Alex’s body and the cold floor beneath her became uncomfortable and she began to long for a bed, a warm, soft bed they could burrow into and hibernate in till spring.

But to say that out loud seemed presumptuous.

As Holly felt the wonderful sexual haze start to dissipate, she pressed herself closer to Alex in an effort to recapture the warmth. He responded immediately, his arms tightening around her and one hand moving to stroke her hair.

It should have been reassuring.

Holly hid her face against Alex’s broad chest, which was ironic considering he was a big part of her fears, the fears that were flooding back now as if they’d just been waiting in the wings, driven out of her mind by earth-shaking sex. Probably they’d go away permanently if she could make love with Alex forever, but physically it just wasn’t possible. She could barely move her arms and legs now.

She took a deep breath to steady herself, but then she was inhaling the clean male scent of Alex, soap and rain and the faint tang of salty sweat, and she had to close her eyes.

What didhe think about what had just happened? He had talked about wanting her, about lust and desire, but he hadn’t said anything about…

Holly stopped herself in time. Don’t eventhink that word, she admonished herself. The only thing that had happened here was great sex. The only thing Alex had promised her was great sex.

And boy, had he delivered. Only a fool would go scrambling for more right now. Alex wasn’t the ever-after kind of guy. He was danger and volatility and mind-blowing lust, and while those things might be amazing, they didn’t usually come attached to a Hallmark card and a bottle of Chianti.

Alex was a great friend—unless they’d just messed that up tonight—and an unbelievable lover, but it would be asking way too much to expect him to be a boyfriend, too. It would go against his nature.

Holly turned her head so her cheek was pressed against Alex’s chest and she could hear his heartbeat again. She didn’t really want a boyfriend right now, anyway. Especially not one like Alex, who could fog her brain just by looking in her direction. She needed her mind clear right now. She had a job to focus on, and a son to take care of, and a destroyed home to recreate for both of them.

If she let herself rely on Alex for things he couldn’t provide, it wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Who knew better than she did that the moment you let yourself get comfortable was usually the moment you got the rug jerked out from under you? And honestly, she didn’t think she could take it if that happened again. She had to make herself remember who and what Alex was. He was a good friend to her and to her son, but when it came to man-woman stuff he was nitroglycerin, the kind you left in the bottle if you valued your peace of mind.

A sudden visceral memory of Alex thrusting into her made her wonder, briefly, if peace of mind might be overrated, but then she thought about Brian—how much she’d trusted him, and how he’d cracked when she’d given him more than he could handle. And Mark, too—in the end, he hadn’t wanted to deal with the burdens that went with dating a single mother.

If she tried to force Alex into a role he couldn’t possibly fill, they’d both suffer for it. And she didn’t want to suffer like that again.

The cold floorboards, and the cold air against her bare skin, was starting to seep into her bones. Time to end this.

She used Alex for leverage to push herself to a sitting position.

“Hey!” he said immediately, sitting up with her and capturing her hands in his. “Where do you think you’re going?”

She hesitated and saw him tense again. Well, he might not like it, but the sooner she made it clear where things stood, the better.

“I’m going to bed,” she said quietly. “Alone. I think it would be better that way.”

Alex rose to his feet and reached down a hand to help her up. Once she was standing he kept hold of her hand, stroking her wrist with his thumb.

“I knew it,” he said, sounding almost resigned.

“Knew what?” she asked as she tried to pull her hand gently away from his.

“Knew you’d run away.” He stood looking at her, and Holly felt a wave of guilt.

“Listen,” he said, drawing her closer. “Let’s save this part until the morning. It’s traditional. If in the harsh light of day you feel the need to turn your back on what we obviously have going here, fine. But, please, Holly—at least give me tonight. Just one night. Please.”

There was no way she could say no to him. Holly was momentarily terrified that she’d never be able to say no to him ever again, but she put that thought aside for now. One night really wasn’t too much to ask.

“No sex,” she warned him.

“No sex,” he repeated. “That’s fine. I may never be able to have sex again, anyway. I think you broke me.”

Holly grinned, suddenly liking him so much it warmed her all over. “Oh, I think you’ll live to love again. Think of all the disappointment among the female population of Ohio if you retired this young.”

He looked at her a little quizzically, but he bit back whatever he had been going to say. “Let’s sleep in your bed tonight,” he said instead as they climbed the stairs together.

“Sure,” Holly said, surprised. “How come?”

“It’s warmer,” he said as they walked down the hall and into her room.

“Warmer? Why?”

“Because it’s yours,” he said simply. Holly looked at him for a moment, not sure how to respond. Then she disappeared quickly into the bathroom.

 

Alex sighed.Don’t think about it, he told himself as he lay down on Holly’s bed, turning his head to breathe in the scent of her shampoo that lingered on her pillow. Don’t think about tomorrow. Hell, tomorrow a meteor might strike the earth, destroying all life on this planet and his minor relationship problems along with it.

Just think about tonight.

He heard her footsteps and switched on the bedside lamp, turning to see the soft light glowing against her bare skin. “You’re so beautiful,” he couldn’t help saying as she came toward him, and even across the room he could tell she was blushing. He lifted the covers so she could slip under them, and when he felt how cold she was he wrapped her up in the fluffy quilts, tucking her in close to him so his own body heat could seep into her, as well.

Not to mention the fact that feeling Holly’s soft skin and sexy curves pressed against him was extremely pleasant.

“Mmm,” she said as she snuggled into him, and that was pleasant too. Alex let his eyes drift closed, just enjoying the moment.

“Where’d you get the condom?” Holly asked suddenly, and the question was so unexpected that Alex laughed. “I’m serious,” she said, although he could tell she was smiling. “I mean, one second you’re naked, and the next second you’ve got a condom on, like Superman coming out of a phone booth. Well, maybe not quite like that,” she amended as he laughed again.

“I had it in my wallet.”

“You keep a condom in your wallet?”

“Fortune favors the prepared,” he said gravely, and she swatted at him.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I was thinking the other day you probably get lucky every week. Maybe every night.” Her tone made it a question, but Alex deliberately didn’t answer it. He just let his smile grow broader.

Finally she sighed in exasperation. “Look, just tell me. Give me a number. How many women have you been with during the last three months?”

He made a show of thinking about it, counting softly under his breath, until she swatted him again. “Okay, okay,” he said, grinning. “One.”

She stared at him. “You’ve only slept with one woman besides me during the last three months?”

He held her gaze. “No, Holly. Only you.”

“Oh,” she said, blinking in surprise.

They were lying on their sides, facing each other, and Alex ran a finger down her forehead to the tip of her nose. “New topic,” he said. “Let’s talk about our greatest sexual experiences ever. I’ll tell you mine and you can tell me yours. You first.”

She pillowed her hand under her cheek. “I’m not about to make your head any bigger,” she said severely.

“I just want to hear you say it,” he persisted, grinning.

She sighed with exaggerated patience. “Fine,” she said. “If you insist on having your ego stroked. On a scale of one to ten you were a hundred and three. Anything else you need me to tell you?”

He hid his grin this time. “That’s good for now,” he said, and then deliberately didn’t say anything else until she poked him in the chest.

“Don’t you dare,” she warned him. “I have limited sexual experience and my self-esteem is precarious. You will immediately begin complimenting me in extravagant terms or there will be consequences.”